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About The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886 | View Entire Issue (April 20, 1883)
-. : iv 't j y . ;. J:M. "... 1 v,: THE COLUMBIAN. THE COLUMBIAN. . PUBLISHED EVEEY FRIDAY , AT ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., 0R - Br E. G. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor PUBLISHED EVEEY FRIDAY ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OR., BY .1 r E. O. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor. Subscription Rates: Advektisin'o Rates: One fquare (10 line) firvt iiertion....M. Each kubut quent iuiKjrllOQ.... One year, la adTtnce...... Six months, ' ...... J2 00 ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON: APRIL 20, 1883 I ! . 1 i0 . 60 YOL. ni. NO. 37. t3 00 1 00 Three months, " T H E COLT 1MB I. AiV j J - ' ! ! i . - I!'', v . LOVE-S COMMA.XDMENIS. FKOM TUB rOBTl OLlSK. The first is, Rosa, that there must not be One loved by you in all the world but me. The second is for you to render plain You must not swear to love me, dear, in Tain. The third ia Sundays, and when I incline, Sights through the week to keep thein wholly mine. ' To honor you, in all jour walks and way?, Comes fourth to honor you through all niydays. The fifth is. you shall never kill my rest, Nor tear with jealous thoughts my taithful breast. The sixth ia as for vou nUme tbev Steal no sly looks at other eyes than mine. The seventh well, where true love holds his throne, He scorns to dream of any but his own. The eighth, bear no-false witne.v, bad or good; Of me be silent, a wise maidens should. The ninth is, ne'er compare your neighbor's lover so With me that to otne discredit show. The tenth is covet not another's cashmere shawl; But bear with patient grace luav fall. what to vour lot AN IDEAL MARY. "A cheerful surprise for the bride of a year, forsooth," thought Pierce Elgin, with a feeling almost of self-contempt aa lie stood on the steps of the custom house at ( . He had just received notice that a change in the administra tion would necessitate a change in the officers of the custom-house, and Elgin's appointment not receiving the approval of the President, his was the first head that fell under the political guillotine. Ah, Anne, I fear you made a mistake when you chose the poor artist in prefer ence to the wealthy and influential law yer. Art and politics do not agree," sighed the gentleman to himself as he deecended the broad steps leading to the street. It wa3 a -clear October evening, and he decided to wait to his home in the suburbs. As he thoughtfully pro ceeded on his way, thinking of his wife, the little romance of his love and mar riage passed through his mind like the shifting scenes in a theater. Four years atro he had met At ne Horst shortly after his return from Europe, whither he had gone at the urgent invi-' tation of an uncle-living abroad, who wished him to cultivate his talent for painting. For this purpose he ; had. at-. j tended the art school : at Munich .and spent a year in Italy at the expense of his generous relative. ' He returned to America with fine cre dentials and lofty ideals. But he did not find the public as responsive as he had hoped, nor his colleagues as cordial, since his idea3 of art an-l theirs were di vergent. For a time it seemed doubtful whether he would ever penetrate beyond the limits of the academy where he was employed as drawing teacher. However, a few well-executed portraits brought him money and a reputation, and short ly after a first class periodical employed him to illustrate its pages, so that hi3 beginning was an auspicious one. Bat he had dreams and ambitions which were not satisfied with a commonplace success. He began a painting which he hoped would bring him lasting fame. And it was to Anne Horst that he confided his hopes and dreams. He had no other relatives besides the uncle before men tioned, and in Anno he found what he needed, an intelligent counselor and a sympathetic friend. She was so sensi ble, so appreciative, and possessed such correct taste that, although she was un able to draw a line, it seemed to Elgin as if he were talking to a brother artist. She was only a village school teacher, living with her widowed mother; had en joyed no great educational advantages, but with the knowledge of French and German, and her wonderful musical irifia- she rpallv seemed cosmopolitan to Elgin. How distinctly he recalled their first meeting! It was the happy summer .when he had taken it into his head to go sri. and chose Lake Erie. - The little village of Westwood. with its groves stretching down to the water s edge, of fered all the facilities for a pleasant summer vacation, and Elvin congratu latflfl himself on hit eood fortune in dis covering it. The next morning after his arrival he determined to make a sketch o the vicinity for tbe Eastern magazine, and. takine a boat, rowed across the "OTpst Fork Bun to cet a better view of the town. Arriving on the other side he moored the boat, and, gathering up his portfolio, proceeded along a footpath that led him up rather a steep bank to a dense grove. . Oaentermg it he per ceived a young lady in the shadow of some trees. He passed her with t polite creatine, to which she answered with a trraeeful bend of her head. After tryiDg several points from which to make his - sketch, he retraced his steps, and found that the best view was from the spot where the voung lady was idly sitting. flhe looked uu at his approach, and he addressed her with a deprecatory smile "Pardon mr intrusion, madam, but this seems to Iks tbe best point from which to get a view of the towu and the harbor. Will you allow mo to sit here and sketch?" "Certainly," was the pleasant answer, 'and if it does! not take too long 1 may possibly have the pleasure of seeing your sketch." "If you will promise not to let me dis turb you in the least, was the reply. "I can readily promise you that, aa am sitting here perfectly idle," answered she composedly, and then ho began to sketch rapidly, however, furtively glanc ing at his quiet companion fiom time to time. Her appearance justified his curi osity, for she was almost beautiful. A Eerfect fitting dress of a clouded blue armonized well with her clear complex ion, nut-brown hair rippled back from a wide forehead, and formed a graceful coil at the back of her head ; clear gray eyes looked out with a peculiarly straightforward gaze from uuder beauti ful dark brows; nose and mouth were - well shaped, particularly the latter, the lips being- beautifully colored. Elgin -would not have been the artist be was, ; had he failed to note these points. After having busily sketched for quite a while be observed smilingly: "I see you do not take out that pocket edition of some favorite poet, which is the indispensable companion to a ramble in the woods. Does my presence disturb you too much for reading, after all?" "No. indeed, my pocKet aoes not nar- bor the conventional poet. In fact, I do not enjoy reading out of doors."-; "Ah, mav 1 ask why not.' inquired Elcin. secretlv hoping that her reasons mitrht be congenial with his, who never . . . i i , wanted a oook to aisiuro nis commun ings "with nature. "Because 1 can not nx my attention on . . i a I ! i , .1 a OOOK When a luousauu vu.uea wuuuu me are calling for it. I think it the most delightful sensation m the world to its. entirely idle for an hour at a time, exer cising Only the sens.s of. sight and hear ing. Yon, of course, do not appreciate my ideas of enjoying nature, being an artist, and therefore diligent." i "Indeed I do, with tho exception that the hour to which you limit the blissful stato is extended into days and weeks in my case." There was si'ence again for some time, during which Elgin kept on working rap idly, then holding up his sketck he said : i "Is it recognizable?" "Oh, how natural!" exclaimed Anne, with undisguised admiration. "I am no judge of art, but your sketch seems a miracle to me." "As otherwise it probably would not," said Elgin, laughing, but feeling strange ly flattered. Then in the course of their conversation he told her that he sketched for the Monthly, and took his card from his portfolio, offering it with a bow, to which she simply answered: t "AIv name is Anne ilorst, and 1 teacu at the village High School." It all came about in such a natural manner that neither felt any impropriety in this exchange of courtesies. i Wuen Anne arose sho poirled to the gaudy red mallows that lined both sides of the river, saying: "Wouldn t those mallows and cat-tails make a protty little picture?" f "I was just thinking myself in draw ... . ii one; will you allow me to come ana suow it to you?" i She acqueisced with unanected pieas- m. 11 a . " , ure. men tying on a oroaa natuiinmeu with bunches of marguerites, she started down the path accompanied by Elgin, who unmoored her boat, and watching the graceful and strong young rower a moment.returned to his unfinished work. That very evening found hiai at the ga ble-roofed cottage with his picture oi a i - i group oj mallows ana marsn grasses. Anne's pdmiration was t unaffected and sincere, as was alscr tiifitT) iier toother white-haired.beautiful lady.very touch. like Anne. During the four weeks ot his stay.Pierce Elgin was a frequent vis itor at Mrs. Horst s, and alter his return to N , it seemed the most natural thing in the world for him to write to his eummer acquaintance. Thus Anne gradually became a part of the young man s existence, although not a word oi love or marriage had been spoken, per haps had not been thought of even. On his third annual visit to Westwood he was accompanied by his friend, Baiph Holm, a wealthy lawyer some years older than Elgin. Holm, who usually Spent the summers in Europe, had been seized with an idle curiosity to behold the place that was so attractive to the rismgyoung artist. Elgiu had often Bpoken of the Horst ladies to Balph, in enthusiastic terms, and sometimes even read extracts from Anne's letters to him; but j he had remarked cynically: j "A tvpical Mary, worshiping at the feet of art and learning. Beware of these appreciative women, Elgin. They will burn your pet runday roast, and contrive to keep yonr house looking like the world two days before the creation, disorder in chaos. That is the secret of i all the marital misery in the lives of celebrated men. Their wives were either all Mary, frowzy and slipshod, but with grand . !. 1 yearnings, or they were an xuartna, wnu no idea about the houshold. A: woman combining the excellent qualities of the biblical sisters is an impossibility." "Perhaps Anne is the embodiment of this impossibility," answered; Elgin, laughiug, and when, after their first call had been made at Mrs. Horst s, he asked Holm: 1 "Well, what do you think of the typ ical Miry?" Thaf, gentleman answered en thusiastically. "She is both'Mary and Martha. The man who is so fortunate as to win her for a wife need have no misgivings about his happiness.'- . .. Elgin' experienced another feeling be sides gratification at his friend's words, aud wondered why he never beforeremark ed what a handsome fellow Holm was. Throughout the summer days tie friends vied in their attentions to Anne and her mother, and they often asked each other why such unpretentious yet cultivated women were so rarely met with in soci ety. Toward the end of August, when the friends were already talking of their de parture Holm to Europe and; Elgin to his studies there was to bean excursion to the neighboring islands, and Holm said to Elgin: "Let me take tho Horst ladies. You have enjoyed their society for yeavs, and it isn't likelv that I shall ever see them again." "All right, old fellow, if you will promise to take good care of them," El answered, with a quiet satisfaction at the latter part of Holm's remark. When the ladies were invited by the young man, there was a hesitation on the part of Anne that be did not fail to notice; but Mrs. Horst accepted with thanks, saying: ' Our dull town affords noamusements all the year round that Anne would en joy. This will be an agreeable diver sion." Holm had secretly chartered the pretty staanier so that only a certain number of passengers were allowed on boarh, thus making the trip to the islands a very agreeable one, with the exception of Anne's rather preoccupied manner, which suddenly left her when at the landing thev met Elgin, who had started early and alone to surprise them. The hours at the island were spent in gayety, Holm displaying a remarkable talent in all sorts of entertainments. In the afternoon Elgin said to Anne: j "There is a beautiful view j to be had of the adjacent islands from Rooky Point. ) If your mother is not too tired we will row across, and be well paid for our trouble." "I believe I will not attempt it." said Mrs Horst; "but Anne can go and 1 will sit on the beach and watch you." Holra iramediatelv ordered camp chairs and umbrellas and they proceed to the beach, where Elgin and Anne entered a skiff, and with gay good-byes started for t ho point. The water was swarming with little steam tugs that were busily en gaged in carrying people to points of in terest, aad it required skillful rowing to keep out of their path. Elgin and Anne were scarcely ten rods from shore wnen the watchers on the beach saw to their horror that a tug was bearing directly down on them. Elgiu saw the danger oo late to avoid it, and, seizing his com panion by tbe arm, shouted "Jump!" and the, next moment they were floundering in the water, while their skiff disap peared under the black hull of the tug. Help was instantly at hand, and soon Anne was in the arms of her half -fain t iug mother, laughing and reassuring her. Holm had instantly, with gentle forethought, sent word to the hotel for dry cpthes and hot drinks, and soon the party was comfortably seated in the par-, lor of the Island House, Elgin and Anne in the clothes of some obliging summer guests. But a feel"ng of constraint had settled on the pleasure-seekers which Ralph's happiest joke3 could not dispel, and each felt a secret relief when tbe steamer's loud whistle called them on board. Late that night -Holm entered Pierce Elgin's room and abruptly sanl: "Elgin, do you love Anne Horst?" A moment the two men eyed eaoh oth er with fierce looks, then Elgin answered coldly: "I da not trunk. JT ow you an account of mv feelings." '- "Very well; from this answer I assume that you do not love her. I do, and to morrow I will offer her my hand and for tune. A man must be a weak triflsr or a fool who will hesitate to make such a girl his wife if he has the chance. Good night;" and without waiting for an an swer he quickly left the room. Elgin was alone. With white face and set lips, he said aloud: "The impudent fellow! How dare he have the effreDtery? She is mine. I know she is mine, even though I should never ask her. She will not be yours, Ralph Holm, nor any other man's, but only my own. own Anne!" and a feeling of exultation filled his breast. That day, in their hour of danger, he had realized what Anne was to him, and had deter mined to make her his own as soon as possible. Toward noon of the next day he met Ralph coming up the hotel steps. i t i . . tie neid out nis nana witn a saa smue. "Good-bye, Pieree; I am off fof- Eu rope, ion Know what that that means. When you and Anne are happy, think of me sometimes." J That evening Anne received her sec ond offer, and when Elgin left Westwood a week later, it was with the determina tion that Anne, his wife, should never regret having refused a millionaire; and seeking a political appointment he soon received a lucrative position in the cus tom house at N. Friend 8 were surprised and disappointed at the close of his ar tistis career, but Elgin shut his thoughts to everything except his wife and money making. The great picture, which had been hi dream for years, was turned on its easel, and Pierce persuaded himselT that he was doing his duty, Anne was all he had expected the light of his home, for whom he would have thought a world well lost. But sometimes he would detect a shadow on her face, and the' harrassing thought would come. "Is it Holm and his millions?" lie felt ashamed of the unworthy thought, and yet it would return to vex him; and to night, as he neared bis home, from which the cheerful light was streaming like a beacon, he said, bitterly: "She will re gret her folly now, certainly." Anne was leaning on tbe gate, waiting for his coming, and when she saw him she hastened down the walk, and fondly taking his arm, whispered: "You are late on our anniversary." "Yes, Anne, late, and perhaps unwel come when I reveal the reason. I have lost my position at the custom-house." "Lost your position? Oh, Pierce I am so glad 1" "Why, Anne, are you mad? JJo you Know what you are saving? They were in their yard now, under the shadow of some trees that lined the walk. Anne stood still and her husband could see her sweet, smiling face in the faint light of the western moon. ' xes, .Fierce, J Know what 1 am say ing. Jt has grieved me. oh! sorely, that you gave up yonr art when you married me. jlou were not happy yourself, and I have wished for some accident that woull make you return'to your first love Now my wish has been fulfilled, and you will finish that grand picture that will make my husband famous through out the land. Elgin folded his wife to his breast with a feeling that he had never been so hap py in all his life. "My own Mary, you shall not be disappointed. Elgin finished his painting, and reaped laurels and gold. To-day he is one of the foremost artists in our country. Three Trays to Beat. Mrs. Giddleton. who knaws that her husband never shakes dice for drinks and that he is strickly sober, was awak ened the other night by her Mr. Giddle ton, who in his sleep exclaimed: "Tnree trays to beat! Horse on mel "What do you mean?" asked his wife, shaking him. " What does who mean?" "You." "What about?" "Why, yon cried out 'Horse on me!" "That's all right. I merely had a nightmare." Several years ago a few gray squirrels were placed in Central Park, New York. They have multiplied so rapidly that it has been found necessary to thin them out, and the attendants were instructed on Saturday last to go gunning for them to-day. One of the charges against them is that they rob the birds nest. The children are getting up a petition asking tbe commissioners to spare a fev of the "bunnies" at least, as they are as inter esting as birds, and a great deal enter. The Pigmy and the Giant. During Mr. Stephens congressional service, and pending the campaign of 1848, he returned from Washington to Georgia. ' He was fresh from the great debates on the acquisition of California and New Mexico as United States terri tories, and for having taken, against the wishes of a majority of the southern members, a most prominent part - in op position to such acqmsion, he was met by much adverse criticism. Jude Cone, who' was at that time one of the leading politicians of Georgia, was particularly severe in his criticism upon Mr. Ste phens' action, and was reported to have publicly denounced him as a traitor to the south. Hardly had Mr. Stephens reached his homo when these and similar reports were conveyed to him. At first he did not credit them, but as one kind friend after another informed him that Cone had called him a traitor and advised, in the true southern spirit, that he owed it to himself to demand what is called "sat isfaction," the fires of pugnacity in his nature, which are always smouldering, hissed up, and lie declared that if Judge Cone would admit having called him a traitor to the south he would "slap his face." Not long after this he met the judge at a numerously attended Whig gathering, and, going up to him, quietly said: "Judge Cone, I have been told that you, for reasons of your own, have de nounced me as a traitor to the south, and I take this opportunity of asking you if such reports are true." "no, sir," was Cone s reply, "they are not true." "I am very clad to hear you say bo." said Mr. Stephens, cordially; and in the same friendly tone continued: "Of course L do not desire to be in any way offensive to you. Judge Cone, but in or der that we may have no further misun-. derstanding through the misrepresenta ' tions of others, I think it right to tell you that I hav said I would slap your face if you admitted having used the lan guage attributed to you." Upon this the judpre agaiu disowned having spoken disrespectfully of Mr. Stephens, and so for the time the affair ended. ' It was the subject of discussion all over the ssate, however, and the gen eral verdict was that Judge Cone, a pow erful man by the way, had shown the white feather to"Little Aleck Stephens. In such a community no public maa resting under such a charge could hope either for political preferment or popu lar respect. Cone, of course, knew this, and, very much heated and annoyed by the comments which were beintr made upon him, wrota to Mr. Stephens, de manding an immediate aud public re traction of the threat. In reply Mr. Stephens wrote that the threat of slap ping tlie judge's face had been niad? eon tingent upon tbe truth of the report re garding which he (.Mr. Cone) had pro nounced to be untrue, and that, such be ing the case, there could be no cause for offense or angry feeling on eiiher side. Unfortunately this letter was never re ceived by Judge Cone. Three or four days after it was written, however, he met Mr. Stephens on the piazz of a ho tel in Atlanta, and, disregarding that gentleman's friendly greeting, said in a verv otrense tone: 'Mr. Stephens, I demand that vou make an immediate retraction of your threats regarding me." Sick and weak though he was. Alexan der H. Stephens could allow no one to speak to him in the fashion described. Judge Cone was a very giant in size and muscular development, yet the frail man whom he addressed, with aergrravatinfr politeness, and without hesitating a mo ment, replied: "Pardon me, sir; I have already written you on that subject. I must decline to discuss it further." "Am I to take this for your answer?" asked Cone, excitedly. It is . the only, answer I have to give you, was the calm reply. "Inen I deuounce you as a miserable little traitor," cried Cone, mad with ex citement. The last words had hardly left his lips when a light cane, wielded by the quick hand of the man he had in sulted, left its red scar across his cheek. Wild with pain and passion, without uttering a word, he drew a keen pointed dirk kuife and mado one furious thrust at his weak little adversary's heart, . In stantly as he did so, however, Stephens, seizing a stout umbrella which he held in his left hand, interposed it as a defense and was able for a moment to hold him at arm's length. The knife fell bhort of its mark. Once more it was thrnst at Stephens, cntting a deep gash in his arm, but reaching no vital point; eighteen times it cut deep into nis breast, arms and body, but still he did not fail. Then he could hold out no longer. No cour age, no 6pirit, however firm and unyield ing, could long withstand suoh an at tack. Cone was determined to finish his work. He threw all his great weight against the umbrella which held him away from the man ho intended to kill It broke; Stephens, half fainting, fell upon his back. The giant Cone was at his throat in a moment;his head, by a grit, of iron, was held against the cruel floor; the keen and blood-dripping knife was held aloft before him, ready for the la9t fatal thrust, but still the poor, pale face of the little hero was set and defiant his black eyes still flashing undaunt edly. "Retract, or III cut your cursed throat!" hissed Cone. "Cutll'll never retract 1" gasped the al most lifeless Stephens. Like a flash the knife came down. With an almost superhuman effort the prostrate man caught it in his right hand Clean through the muscles, . tendons and bones of the hand it cut, then stuck fast and reached no vital part. With desper a-e strength Cone tried to wrench it free. With a grasp almost of death the horn bly mangled and mutilated hand held it fast. In the struggle Stephens was once more dragged to his feet. Tbe blood was rushing in streams from his many wounds. His hold upon the knife which sought his heart began to relax. He was dying. But even when he believed the next moment would be his last, strong i men came to his relief. The madman Cone was secured and held fast. Then quickly the wounds which Mr. Stephens had received were examined. I) was found that one of them had pene trated to within a sixteenth of an inch of his heart. An intercostal artery had been cut. The doctors declared that he would surely die. Happily their pre dictions were not verified. His' life was saved by the unremitting care of a sur goon, his devoted friend, whoL as 'good fortune wonld have it, happened to be in Atlanta at the time. When he recovered, with a magnanimity with which few men are capable even of understanding,' he refused to prosecute Cone, and that per son, instead of getting his deserts in the dark cell of a state prison J was fined S1000, and with his "honor vindicated," was allowed to go free. To the day of his death Mr. Stephens spokej of him in terms of consideration and forciveuess. Not long ago, referring to the terrible struggle I have attempted to describe. and showing me tho great hole in his mangled hand, he said, with a quiet and far away look in his deep, eyes: "Poor Cone! I'm sure he would be sorry if he knew what trouble I have to write ! with these stiff fingers of mine." Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. CuAabash Saui. Three months ago, when 200 of the leading citizens of Gunnison Citv met in convention on a street corner, there were seven or eight Michigan men among the crowd. When Col. Parker presented the following resolution, it was a Mich igan man who supported it: j Resolved, That a committee of five.be appointed to wait on Calabash Sam, Tate of Dead wood, and inform him that after sunrise to morrow morning Ibis crowd will open fire on him with the intention ot furnishing a corpse for our new grave yard. The committee of five went out to find Samuel and deliver their message. He sat on a bench at the door of his shanty. a suotgun across nis Knees and a pipe in his mouth, and he preserved silence while the chairman of the committee read the resolution; then he asked "That means me, don t it?" "She does." "lhey don t like my style of carving and shooting, eh! "That's what the kick on." "Well, I won't go! Y'ou havn't got nug men in the valley to drive Calabash bam a rod! Return to the convention and report that I am here for the season." "I forgot to menshun," continued tbe chairman in a careless voice, as he leaned on his gun "I forgot to menhuu that the convenshnn has adjourned. ; This committee thus finds it;self in an embar rassing feitnation, and it siups only one way out of it. Onleaa you'lI agri'e to pkiic up and travel, this comimittee will feel called to to " "To begin sboctiu'. vou mean?", Exactly, Samuel, exactly You may two of the have already observed that committee have got tbe drop on vou "I see." ' Corpses which are riddled with buck- shot have a very unpleasant look," con tinued tbe chairman, as he rested his cum on the muzzle of his cun "les, that a so." "Aud it's kinder lonesome this beiDg j-grouml." the coni the first plant in a new buryin i-e-s, it may bo "And so, take it all around mitteo kinder indulges in tho hore that you'll see fit to carry your valuable so ciety back to the BlaCiC Hills, xou may have observed that three shotguns, each under full cock, are now look ng: straight at ye. We don t want to bluff, but its getfmg nigh supper time '"Well, after looking tbe matter over. I'm convinced that these dig gings won't pan ont lower grade ore, and I guess 1 11 take a walk. "Right off." "Yes." "Right up this trail?" "Yes." 'Very well. While the committee is sorry to see vou go, an 1 wishes all sorts of luck, it hasn t tune to shake hands. Step off, now, and for fear you ain't used to walking, we 11 these guns pinted up the hill until you have the half-mile bowlder. Press. Trala march!" Detroit Free Famous Clocks j A work on tho great historical : clocks of Europe 'mentions a curious contro versy between the townsfolk of Beauvais, France, and those of tbe famous German towns with retard to tho respective mer its of their celebrated clocks. The townsmen of Beauvais claicuod that, be sides recording the calendar days of the week, month, year, zodical signs, eclipses, phases of the inoQp, etc., their clock in dicated events occurring not oftener than once in 400 years; for example, in three centuries out of four the last year leaps its bissextile, and the Jelock leaps from February 28th to the 1st of March. a movement occurring once only in 400 years. A Strasburger, not tolbe outdone, claimed that his town's clock not only did all that the Beauvais clock could ac complish, but in addition to them con tained an ecclesiastical commutator, and gave all its indications, golden numbers, solar cycles, etc.. and wounil up by say ing that "the lieauvais cIock rna.es a change every four centuries, but asks an astronomer what is meat by a procession of the equinoxes. He will tell you that it is a movement of the star, describing a complete revolution round the earth in the space of 25.000 to 26,000 years. In our Strasburg clock there is this move ment which receives only one revolution in 2o,00U years. As thu whole I thing, adds the apologist of the Strasburg clock, can be measured and indicated-, it is unnecessary to await its accomplish; ment. Well, we are glad of that. Characteristics of the Notliern Race of Red Men. A correspondent of the San Francisco Bulletin found tbe natives of Alaska ex ceedingly curious to Bee and to know He thus describes their methods of in vestigating and the rough way the whites protected themselves. He savs: "We experienced Ho trouble from the natives except in the early part the winter they would come and stiind about our doors and windows and get! in our way generally, so that they sance. "When the frost gathere became a nui- on our win- dows, they kept peep holes open by lick ing the frost with their tingues. This we Anally got rid of by malting i a strong decoction of Cayenne paper aud painting the o'i Je -o! the glass, so that licking it was not ail comfortable. "A few of the respectable ones were occasionally let into the house, If any of these did not behave themselves, we treated them with very little ceremony so that they soon became afraid of us and were verv civil. "At first some of them had the habit of opening the door and walking into the house as if they were its owners, and af ter a short time we got tired of this and put a few of them out, and by that means they have improved in their manners considerably. "There is very little fight in them and they never stick together or stand up for each other. If you cuff one, the rest stand around and look on and laugh, and say it is 'Nakoomak (good), and the fel low getting chastised is 'Aseernk' (bad.) lhey are not at all handsome, but then they are quitOLwell for savages. Tbe women when young are much better looking than the men, but all are very dirty and never dream of washing any part of their body. Ihe men wear a large pair of bone buttons, like shirt studs, in their under lips, ; and it gives them anything but a pleasant appearance. The women tattoo their chins, which they consider a great mark of beauty, but I cannot say that I agree with them on that point." SELECTED MfhCELLAXY. Barnum's elephant "Pilot" was killed recently. It became intractable. Mulenberg countv, Kentucky, with taxable property amounting to about a million and a half, is said to have a debt of eight hundred thousand dollars. A. Chinaman of Louisville has sued tbe Courier-Journal and Commercial for libel, they having published that he kept an opium den and a house of ill-fame. A man named Hanson was found dead I on the road near Lost creek. Nev... re-1 cently. He had fallen off a lumber a load of lumber while drunk and broken his need. Alfred Barton, the colored boy arrested for turning the railroad switch at Swin gle's landing, neer Woodland, has been held tc answer. The superior court will determine whether his offense shall be considered a felony or a misdemeanor. England has very severe tramp laws. The New England stato laws of this class, some of them, notably those of New Hampshire, very oppressive statutes, are, like many things in New England, copied in substance from English statute books. Tho St. Gothard railway company is running extra trains on account of the growing trade between Lrermauy and Italy, a fast not at all likely to give Eng land mush joy, as this increased trallic is in coal and iron, which for years has gone to Italy from England. In the Canadian commons recently Homer moved a resolution in favor of reciprocity with the Hawaiian Islands. l ormerly a large trade was done between British Columbia and the Sandwich Is lands, but since the United States has established reciprocity tiade relations with the islands, British Columbia trade has fallen off almost to nothing. A gocd Christian mother in Middle town explained to her little boy, as he was retiring, the efficacy of prayer, and told him that if he wonld ask God for anything he particularly desired she had no doubt bis request would be granted. The little fellow knelt at his mother's knee and prayed God to send him 50 little sisters and 100 little brothers. The rajer was never finished. A Montreal girl smelt of the perfume satchel contained in a valentine sent to her a few days ago, and instantly became unconscious. Whether the effect was produced by the peculiar nature of the perfume violet powder by poison in the paper, or by astonisbment felt at get ting a valentine at suoh an unseasonable time, is what two doctors, one priest and all the members of the family are at a loss to find out. A number of cattle which a 12-year-old Dakota boy was watching were destroyed by a prairie hre six years ago. As the lad could not be found, it was supposed that he had likewise perished. One day last week he surprised his old employer by walking in and handing him a check for the full value of tbe cattle. Ho said he was afraid they might think the loss was occasioned by his carelessness, and went down into Colorado, got a iob of herding and saved 'his money until ho had enough to square the account. juien uonway, wno xor many years stood at the corner of IS road way and Maiden Lane, New York, selling papers, was found dead in ner dreary room on Sunday morning. On searching her bed ZM in money was found and two bank books showing deposits amounting to $b,.uu. sue nad no relatives as far as known, neither any friends in whom she confided any of her history. No matter how cold or disagreeable the weather she could be found at the corner, and always did a good trade, mainly through sym- patuy. .Y.1 . - . not iong Biuue aa agea and very pop ular Irishman died at Eglington, near Londondery. The usual services were observed, the coffin taken to the country and buried in the presence of a large oonconrse oi people. On returning home the relatives of the deceased were amazed to find the old woman lying on the--bed upon which she had died, nobody having thought to put her in the coffin. The body was subsequently taken in a cart to the grave, the coffin was raised, the corpse was placed in in it and it was again lowered to its place. A unique relio of the rebellion was re cently sent to Mr. A. G. White, of Pitts burg, formerly of tbe Thirtieth Penns ylvania Volunteers, by his old messmate, John Huffman: The night before the battle of the Pines they stole out of camp in search, of some to eat, and presently returned with the carcass of a heifer which they had found among the under brush. Tbe orders against foraging were so strict at that time that alter tbe flesh had been distributed prudence re quired that the bones sbould be taken out of camp and buried. Huffman re cently visited the battlefield, and, after a search, succeeded in finding the heifer's grave, from whirn he took the skull and horns and sent them to his oomrade. SHORT BIfS.; A landmark A dirty face. An enormous swell A balloon. A goatee A man who owns goats. Friday is an unlucky day for fish. Household words "Shut the door." Net on speaking terms Twin mutes. A water-color exhibition A glaaa of gin. A pair of slippers Orange and banana' skins. A Winter's Tale" The story of a blix- zard. A close shave Two per cent per month. .. , ' . A derrick is a bivalve, because it is a hoister. When lovers quarrel tbe taffy trade weaken. Sleight of hand Refusing an offer of marriage. If "Urip" does not spell Europe, what does it spell? Good advice, like vaccination, doean t always "take." An anonymous article A baby before it is christened. ' A woman nose so much because she ears a good deal. SDng of the postage stamp ''Gam, oh, come with me." . Nothing tells so much in the long run as a female gossip. Barbers make many friends, but scrape more acquaintances. A fatal blow-out Extinguishing the gas with one's breath. : New reading: Where the treasurer ia, there the cash is also. Tbe man who had a project on foct went to a corn doctor. ; . - Silence may be golden, but it will never borrow a dollar. Tho tower of Babel was the first con tinued story on record. t. The proprietors of ice houses make v. . m many a cooi thousand in me course oi a year. . The average editor can - sympathize with England in her trouble with the Boers. A down east girl, who is engaged to a umberman, says she has eaught a feller. "Ruler ruin," as the boy said when he threw tne leacner s xeruie into tne stove. . . Where there is a storm in the nursery the mother will castor oil on the water in vain. ' " Josh Billing says: "Next to a clear conscience lor solid comiort comes an old shoe." A young lady at a ball called her beau' an Indian becunse he was on her trail all the time. Shot falling into a tin pan "tumble to the racket." and so do hailstones on a slate roof. Of what complaint did your father die?" "The jary found him guilty, was the answer. A single swallow may not make one spring, but a sniall mouse will 'make a woman jump. 'i" The rolling stone gathers no moss, but it gathers the fellow who rides the bicy cle every time. Origin of a common phrase: It was " the prostrate Persian subject who first said "O, Shah I" Private troubles are very much like infants: The more you nurse them the bigger they grow. The uses of adversity may be sweet. but we prefer a little of the bitterness of prosperity in ours. "Sport." We have no opinion as to whether or not Slade can whip Sullivan. He Maori may not. Mixed society is like mixed pickles. All become of the same .flavor if mixed together long enough. When Kansas papers ran short of lo cal news tbe reporters write up an eighty pound hailstone lie. You can't get happiness out of wrong doing any more than you waol by shear ing a hydraulic ram. People say that blackberries are good for tbe complexion; but who wanta a blackberry complexion? . : Many people die of fatty degeneration of the heart, but fatty degineration of the head kills twice as many. An ecouomioal woman, after tho deatii of her tenant, used the remainder of her soothing syrup to. poison rats. A man always looks through his pocL ets fonr times before handing his eoat to his wife to haye a button sewed on, and even then he is filled with a nameleut fear until the job is completed. A well-clad and respectable man re cently created a great stir in London by promenading the streets sandwiched be tween two boards, which bore these pla cards: "General Post-Ofilce. bis charged for not saluting a clerk. Twenty-five years Her Majesty's servant." Tbe prince of science, having cast his eye over tbe table to see that none of tb instruments are missed or misplaced, If about to amputate his patient's leg.- Tli e pafient bursts out Into lamentation i. "Come, oome! my good fellow," says the surgeon, encouragingly, "don't take on so; try and fix yonr mind on aomethinx A Lady Barberirho Shares with a Stria;;. - Signora Helen De George Ides, a f -male barber from Smyrna, Asia, bus located in New York, where she that us ladies with a string. She takes one end of a linen thread between her teeth i.:.d with a peculiar see-saw motion af b:!h, hands the thread is passed over the tt;r face to be denuded, the hair being can 3 'it in little loops in the thread and snatchfd out by the roots. As only two or thi io at most are caught at a time, the epfc ra Hon is not painful. She says bruno. sn have to be shaven once a month, and blondes every three weeks. Un-.'a beards are too ktiff to be treated ia t' way. Her V'siness is growing bo raj-i: that she ejects to have to send !i t Asia for a$ jusistant. .V I i 1 ri "Vl 1 ! 1 ' ! ' 6 ' '.