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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (May 6, 1909)
■•■DON RECORDER •rrry day or so. But the world obsti nately refuses to l>e destroyed, and when it comes to an end. only one prophet will be entitled to gasp. "I told you so!" A year ago Mme. d* Thebes of France predicted war be OREGON KNDON tween Japan and America In Novem ber. 1908. Instead, a little later, there Come let us worry together about the was the exchange of |>eaceful tiotes ice crop I Nothing dnunted. madarne predicts ter If bachelors are to be taxed how can rfble wars between next August and they be expected to save enough mon February, 1910. So look out for a “red year." ey to get married? •THE CHILD LIFE SHOULD IE BEAUTIFUL. By Sir Oliver Lodge. The ultimate object of religious training must be to encourage such Ideas and habits as shall result in a happy ebildhood and h sound and useful life. The first real gods of a child are bls pa- rents, however ungodltke they may be. And hence arises that feeling of security and near- ness of protection aud law which is one of the luxuries of childhood, and, I may add. uue uf the responsibilities of parenthood, That uatiou or colony which could Insure that its children should spend their short and vital early years among healthy, happy surroundings suited to their time of life and state of development, and leading to a good, robust, serviceable manhood and womanhood—that nation would in a few generations stand out from amongst the rest ■ of the world as something almost superhuman. From my experience of the innate goodness of un spoiled humanity I have an idea that if children could be planted amidst favorable surroundings they would nearly all flourish and grow beautiful as plants do under right conditions. No fraction of the world or of the individual can be thoroughly healthy and happy while any member of it Is degraded and wretched. opl E; Bible war eeems merely a perpetual anarchy. Revolution creates government, but anarchy only creates mure an archy. An Interesting study of "College Ei. trance Requirements In Theory and Practice" which afijieared In The In SOCIETY MAKIS “PROFESSION” OF CRIME. dependent presented n long list of uni By H. J. B. Montgomery, very Queen Lil thinks her claim against varsities and colleges at which a Many penologists assert that the profession- were the government will be paid. Anyway, large percentage of the students sioual criminal is a man whom it is hopeless these it won't hurt her to feel optimistic admitted with conditions. One of to reform. They say that he finds in crime Institutions, which took In more than not only a livelihood, but exhilaration, sport, about it. 50 per cent on these terms, formerly fascination. He is a beast of prey, who must European courts hold that the man Insisted that all conditions should 1» be not only muzzled but eaged in the Inter worked off before the student could who owns land also owns the air over ests of society. I have no hesitation in stat it This looks like trouble for the enter the freshman class. The appli ing as the result of my experience that the cants had to pass examinations, nc ••ronauts. assumption which underlies the arguments of matter what school they came from. Tf the ¡»enolGglstB is not only not correct, but Is absolutely It is reported that a German profes they took the examinations early In the fallacious. The criminal who tiuds a fascination in aor has concussion of the brain. Prob summer and failed tn certain studies crime has no existence save In the imagination of the ably caused by a collision between two they worked on those studies through penologist The professional criminal has been made trains of thought. the summer vacation and tried again such by society. He is a prison product In the first in at the opening of the college in the fall. stance, and when he is released from prison society gives An Oklahoma woman has 301 ways If they failed this time in whole or him clearly to understand that hls place for the future to cook com. But mother will go on In part they were kept out until they is with hls own class—the criminal class. soaking them in hot water and apply could make good. With the system Out of the light of my own experience I declare that ing father’s best razor. changed, entering with conditions has men, even criminals, are not so hopeless, so callous, so become the rule, and such a history incorrigible, so devoid of human feelings as the penolo- There la no good and sufficient ren emphasizes, we think, some of the gists would have us suppose, In every human being eon why you should mind your own ¡mints that are made by John G. Bow there are principles of good and evil, and possibilities you business If other people will pay man, the writer of the article in The of either being evolved. The easiest way, I suggest, to tnore for minding theirs. Independent. If the purpose of the BLUFF AND NOISE MODERN WEAPONS. abolish the professional criminal is to cease manufactur colleges la to Increase the student roll By G. K. Chesterton, More school children are made sick It la no doubt successful, but the ques ing him. On most political platforma, in most news- by improper eating than by anything tion naturally arises: "What slgnlfi ¡tapers and magazine«, 1 observe that there HIGHEST FUNCTION OF THE CHURCH. •lee. The cooks' union should Inspect canoe have the requirements?" They are at preseut only two Ideas, either tu avoid the food of all echool children. By Rev. A. H. Stephens. are, as Mr. Bowman says, not a real controversy or to eouduet it by mere bluff minimum, "they are at best an osten Ths church must ever be the handmaid ut and nuise. Evasion aud violence are the only Mrs. William E. Annis asks: “I« sible minimum, any part of which is low enforcement and stand aggressively for expedients. A man must be deaf to bls op there no unwritten law for broken liable lu most colleges to temporary the suppression of vice and public immorality. ponents' arguments; he may be deaf and si hearted widows or fatherless chil suspension and occasionally to complete The highest function of the church Is to serve lent, aud this 1» called dignity; or be may dren?” A very pertinent question. abrogation.” There is no standard the community in which it Is io««ted, in its be deaf aud noisy, and this is called "slashing worthy of the name, but merely a pre civic, social and religious life, It should feel Journalism ” But both these things are equally remote Had a woman's club been In exist tense at a standard. The requirements its responsibility to present a higher type of from the fighting spirit, which involves au interest In ence in Mark Antony's time we should look big in the catalogue, but the dis life than Is found elsewhere, less influenced the enemy's movements lu order to parry or to pierce not have had to wait till now to learn cretion that is used takes all the fervor by human prejudice and human passion, freer them. that he married Cleopatra for her out of them and reduces them to an from compromising entanglements and questionable alli It is ¡«art of that uuchlvalrous aud even uumilltary money. absurdity. There Is no real co-opera- ances, exhibiting ths purest form of social circumspec idea of bullying, of using bombastic terrors in order to China now owns Its telegraph system tfon between the secondary school aud avoid a conflict which is at this moment the highest tur tion and political and commercial probity. The community has a right to expect something bet •—which makes us wonder if it isn't the college, but an excellent opportu ret of the tall hypocrisies of Europe. Europe Is full ter from the church than it finds in Itself—higher Ideals quicker to send tbs Chinese language nity Is offered for passing along ths of the Idea of bluff, the Idea of cowing the human spir by freight than try to strain the wires unfit. If numbers alone Is the object and more unselfish endeavor at their realization. In it with a ¡«inted panorama of physical force. We see It Mr. Howman Is right in saying that these respects the church owes it to the community that with it In the huge armaments which we dare to accumulate, "the college has embarked upon a dan it shall not be disappointed, but that It shall experience but should hardly dare to use. An Eskimo, with a scientific educa gerous course which threatens Its sin the thrill, if not the surprise, of entire fulfillment. The I do not like hovering and lingering threats of arms tion and the proper outfit, la going cerity and Its efficiency.” On the other church must seek the cooperation and allegiance of the nients nor do I like hovering and lingering threats of after the north pole In deadly earnest. hand, If the printed requirements are riot. If people want to have a revolution let them have contiguous populations, not for its own good, but for the The Eskimos believe that the pole unreasonable. “It Is time not to make it and let it have the advantage of a revolution, that of good of those sought, ever teaching the lesson by exam exceptions that confuse al) standards should be kept at home. being drastic and decisive. But a mere parade of pos- ple that it Is more noble to serve than to be served. and demoralize students, but seriously “All children are liars," said a Wls- to face the problem of organizing pre 1 derful hockey game, where everybody deal of money, aud now I think that SONG OF THE BY-AND-BY. eon sin profesaor. A well-known biblical paratory education on a basis that Is skated about eating hot goose and cran I would better take you home In my personage who made the same state really vital and indispensable, and of berries. he heard a bell. Hs wondered automobile Just as fast as I can. Your ment concerning all men admitted af devising machinery capable of en- ft seems so far to the happy day what it could be and before he could mother will be worrying about you.” terward that be spoke in haste. forcing It.” When the clouds will leave the sky. When they were seated in the big But 'tls sweet to hear, when the world ask he awoke with a start. Almost at machine and were wrapped In by the hls ear the telephone bell was ringing. is gray. Ona of the preachers says Adam was BUYS HER A BOX OF CANDY. heavy robes. Mr. Walwlck suddenly He jumped and took down the re The song of the By-and-By 1 a loafer. This decision has probably asked what the boy had thought by ceiver. “Hello I” be shouted. been arrived at because we have no Government Make« Good for t'hoeo- The hills and rills—they are the peculiar message. “ Is this Walwlck & Waldon?" latee boat in Custom House. proof that Adam ever got up In the bright. "I thought it was very funny, but "Yes, this Is Walwlck & Waldon’s By sending to a woman who lives in morning and put on the coffee pot for And our cares like phantoms fly ; how could It be dated January 2, when office. ” Best Fifteenth street a large box of Eve. An echo sweet in the lonesome night "Well, I hardly hoped to catch any this Is New Year's?” chocolate bonbons to take the place of Is the song of the By and-By ! “You will have to ask your school one. Take down this cablegram aud Mr. Rockefeller has given another candy she had lost when it was passing teacher to explain why, but you see rush it through to Mr. Walwlck. million to the University of Chicago, through the custom house on Its way It seems so far to the happy day. the earth turns round the sun and It ‘ “ Calcutta. India, Jan. 2. rate of a million a year it will At the to her from Germany, Uncle 8am re- But its rest they’ll not deny ; Is the day after New’ Year's In India "‘Spike sugar Hardly new candle. take him twenty-eight years more to llev<d himself of the suspicion of petty We bear what the angeJa sing aod say now. Each of the queer words In the “ ’Spiegel, Hocker & Sons.' In the song of the By-and-By ! give away the >29,000,000 saved by not thievery, the New York Press says. The “There, have you got that? All right. message means a whole sentence when having to pay the fine assessed by woman did not demand restitution. —Frank L. Stanton. you look them up In a little book I Repeat it. All right. Good-by.” Judge lendls. When she discovered that half the Clarence rubbed hls eyes. There was carry. We call it a code.” candy which her friends In Germany When they came to Clarence's the message written out, but what a Massachusetts has a law to prevent had «ent her lu u huge Christmas egg message! It did not mean anything and house. Mr. Walwlck went into the recklessness and speeding In automo Imd dlsapiteared In transit she solemn- it was dated a day ahead. He remem warm parlor and told the story to hls biles, which law may be rendered rldlc- 'y sat down and wrote a letter to Col bered hearing that Mr. Walwlck lived mother. Then he took a piece of paper nlc'is by Its wrong punctuation, ns It lector of the Port Fowler. In some hotel. He had seen the name and wrote something on It. "What furbids driving over roads "laid out "Your men have eaten of the candy some place. Oh. yes, It was on the do you think that means?” he said: under the authority of the law reck- which was made abroad specially fol Waw heart wire Clarence Young magazines. There it was, The Albero. leesly or while under the Influence of me," she said. “The occurrence must Like a flash he ran downstairs and desk apple. liquor." Boston. In consequence, Is In not happen again." “I might tell you. sir, tf I had the Clarence had looked forward to the Jumped on a street ear. rhetorical spasms. Her complaint was so straightfor code," said Clarence. (wo weeks of holiday time through all In about twenty minutes he reached ward that It Impressed the collector. "Well, here Is the code book, You An extraordinary demand has arisen Usually peremptory demand Is mnde for the school months. But when Christ the hotel, and as he stepped in the door and your mother can look It up.” mas had come, hls brother, who was he saw Mr. Walwlck just entering the in the eastern counties of England for restitution when small loss Is experi And this was what second-hand Bibles—the older and dirt enced on imported goods. There was the messenger for the firm of Walwlck dining room. He rushed ud to him and looking up the words: they read by A Waldon, suddenly became 111. "lie'll ier the better Copies which formerly nothing of that kind In the woman's “Walwlck & Walden hereby promise realised four pence are now readily letter. She simply desired that the col be on hls feet in a week," the doctor to give Clarence Young the best educa- said, but In the meantime the poor lad bought for half a crown. They are lector should know that her candy had tlon possible at their expense.”—The being used to manufacture evidence of been eaten and that it should not occur was worrying about hls place in the Housekeeper. office. age in the case of old-age pensions. A again. “Can't I take your place?” asked woman who produced a Bible to prove "That letter sounds straight.” the col Beasts Fond of Tobacco. her age as 70 from an entry on the lector said. "I am unwilling that a Clarence. We have all beard of how to tame a Thus it was arranged and for the flyleaf had. unfortunately, omitted to lady who has paid duty on candy sent lion or tiger by steadily keeping the eye days before New Year's Clarence two tear out the title page, which showed from abroad should be deprived of any fixed on him. According to an expert ran errands and did everything that that the Bible was printed in 1896. of it." animal trainer a more effective method asked of him. Just as the office was He summoned the men who had han Is a cigar or cigarette, says the St. being closed ths night before New In the advertising columns of the dled the candy package, which was val was Ixmis Post-Dispatch. called him and Year's. Mr. Walwlck newapu(>ers are found the business ued at >10. There was no chocolate In "Nearly every wild beast that I have to come dowu said that he ex[»ected cards of countless seers and clairvoy- the corners of any of their mouths. The ever come across.” said this man, "is morning although the town the next anta, who promise for a small sum to collector exonerated them all. Finally fond of tobacco lu some shape or form office would be closed, and he wished rend the veil of the future and tell some one suggested that, rather than Clarence to be sure and get the mall I made this discovery quite accident their patrons what Is going to hapi>en l»e regarded as petty thieves, the men and place It on his desk and wait for ally. One of the visitors who was to them. Tliat paludata, card renders who handled the package make up a him. smoking a cigar puffed some of the and clairvoyants are able to pay for fund and buy a box of candy to re smoke into the lion’s face as he lay- It was quite early when Clarence the advertisements which appear in the place that which had disappeared. They found hls way Inside the silent build asleep in the cage. same place day after day is evidence did it. and the collector sent it to the Ing. He had brought hls skates with "I expected to see a real riot, but in that they And enough credulous persons woman with the compliments aud beet him. as there was to be a hockey game stead of that the lion, after giving a to keep the prediction business on a wishes of the men. couple of sneezes, moved quietly up to later, and there was to be ths family paying basis. Their victims are beyond the bars and raised hls nose snlfflngly, dinner and ths usual good time on Th« Distinction. HELIX) ! reason, or they would reflect that the as if asking for a second dose. I have New Year's afternoon. He carefully School Teacher—Johnny, what is a forecaster of future events, such as put the mall on Mr. Walwlck's desk and Mr. Walwick looked at him In surprise tried the experiment on all sorts of the condition of the stock market six patriot? wild animals since and I have found Johnny—A man that tries to benefit sat down to wait The Janitor came and then remembered hls face. months ahead, would make more that most of them enjoy thoroughly a and swept, but Mr. Walwlck, did not "Yea, what is It? ” money by using hls knowledge for hls hls country. “It's a message telephoned In, sir.” big sniff of tobacco. School Teacher—And what Is a poli come. There was still plenty of time own benefit than by selling it for twv “We used to spjadhaktyu. Ik-Ing aao before the game, but the clock hands and he gave over the slip of paper. dollars. Beeldes the prophets who are tician? "We had a bear here once that used i were slowly turning. Finally he It over and Mr. Walwlck looked Johnny—A man that trie« to have hls In the business for the profit there is to rub hie nose and back against the up a magazine and turned over picked of hls pocket, quickly took a book out in It, the world is blessed with gen country benefit him.—Judge. the pages. The hour when he should be went to the hotel office and wrote a bars of his cage just like a cat asking erous philanthropic seers, who publish Don’t Wear 'Em Straight Any More. playing came. to be stroked whenever any one smok half a dozen telegrams. free of charge predictions, always of They were ready to go out. The game was on now, he knew. “That was a close shave,' •» he said ing a cigar came near him. Antelopes some disaster, as great storms, earth "Is my hat on crooked?" she asked. Tbs office was getting chilly and he half aloud, and then noticed Clarence and wild goata aren't satisfied with the quakes, wars, and the end of the world. Thus, owing to the new style of head walked around from room to room. He at hls side. mere whiff. If yon give them a cigar Sometimes an event obligingly falls gear. a traditional phrase used by the looked at the clock. The game must "How under the sun did you bap or a cigarette they will awallow it eut on somebody's prediction, and a feminine sex ever since woman was have been over for some time and they pen to be at the office?" eagerly and, what Is more, seem to suf reputation la made. If seers in all created, received a stunning blow.— would be expecting him for dinner. "You told me to wait, sir, until you fer no bad effects from their meal." parte of the world keep on foreseeing Judge. He was getting cold and hungry. came.” When the girls rave about a man earthquake« every day or two, an Then he told the whole story, and when he flrat comes to town. In three Ry and by a man gets tired of asking Strange as It was, when he begnn to earthquake, when it comes, will be like for hls dally bread and Insists on hav I give up hope the time seemed to go when he had finished the head of the months they want to set the dog on ly to find a prophecy awaiting It. The faster. Finally be curled up on a couch great firm of Walwlck A Waldon took ing pie aud cake. him. eurtqi 1« ao taken up with predictions and went to sleep. ths messenger boy by the band Just as that an event must alight on one of Life's a gamble and every man has a Dream, after dream tumbled over ’If he had been a grown man and said: A matchless cigar may be lighted lu Ibsui A pronfaet destroys the world chance unless he's a Wall street lamb. each other,, and lu the midst uf a won- • "My ted, you've suved us a great some other maimer. • • Mr. Gompers says Just as good men as he have been In Jail. Sure enough! John Bunyan, not to speak of others. / 1 a t a a » THE GOLD INDUSTRY. Aa Illustration H bleb Gives Idea of Its Immensity la America. An eagle, a >’.0 gold piece. Is just about one inch In diameter. Imagine a glittering yellow ribbon of 10 gold pietes. lying edge to edge, (»ginning at ban Frauciseo and extending eastward through the Sacramento Valley of Galt* fornla. across the lofty Sierra Nevada mountains, spanning the Great Ameri cas Desert in Nevada and I'tab, over the prairies of Wyoming'and Nebraska, across the green fields of lows and 1111- nota, over Indiana and Ohio and Massa chusetts. half way to the British Isles—• Imagine thia continuous string of golden eagles edge to edge, without break or Interruption, over this vnst stretch of land and sea—-a distance which con sumes at least eight days in the swift est express train and ocean steamers—• and you will be able to form some con ception of the amount of gold that has beeu produced In the United Stater. It requires some such Illustration as this to grasp the immensity of the gold Industry, to form some definite Idea of the I tn port n nee and magnitude of ths geld production of the North American continent. The profits from The gold Industry are magnificent. They are greater than In any other department of commercial activity. The figures of the world's production are enormous. In 1907 ths output of the gold mines of the earth amounted to nearly >500.000,000. Of this vast sum about one-half, or more than >200,000.000. was net profit. No other Industry can make such a showing as this. This gold was found in America, In Mexico. In South Africa, In Australia and elsewhere. This huge sum of profits, more than >200.000.000. was distributed to score« of thousands of people. Tramp—Lady, I'm near perishing from exposure! Lady—Are you a Con gressman or a Senator?—Town Topics. "Doesn’t she ever stop talking?” "Oh, yes, when she Is breaking In a fresh piece of gum."—Washington (D. C.) Herald. “Is that woinan rich?” "Rich? I should say so! Why, she can even af- ford to be a klept orna nine."— Baltimore American. "She's not handsome. Is she?” “Lord, no! Say, if there was a tax on beau- ty, she'd be entitled to a pension.“— Cleveland Leader. "The first time he went out in hls new auto he ran across a few friends, and ----- ” “Did they leave families?— Baltimore American. “Now, then, look pleasant, please." "Not at all; this Is to send to my wife at the seashore. She would come horns at once!”—Fllegende Blatter. “Was your father college bred?" "Yes, but we never mentioned It. The college be went to had a rotten foot ball team.”—Chicago Record Herald. She—Are you good at guessing wom en’s ages? He—You are not over 25. She—How do you know? He—No woman over 25 ever asks that ques tion. John—I've Just lost a thousand dol lars. Julia—Well, it Is better that ,t should have happened to you than to some poor beggar on the street.—The Club Fellow. "It takes a heap o’ determination, son," said Uncle Ebeu. “to hav yoh own way In dis life, an' a heap o’ brains to know what to do wlf it after you gits It.”—Washington Star. Harlemite—If you wrote yesterday morning. I don’t see why I only got your note this evening. Downtownite —1 do. I affixed a special delivery stamp to the letter.—New York Times. “Ponsonby Is the laziest man I ever saw.” "What's the matter now?” "II« wants a safety razor that can be op- erated by a storage battery concealed in the I lh ndle.”— Bi rm I ng tin m A ge- Her- aid. Mrs. Hubbubs (engaging cook)—Have you any male friends? I can't have any men hanging around the place. Mandy Snowball—None, 'cept mah husbau’, an' tie don't come aroun’ 'cept on pay day.—1’hilHdelphla Record. Terrible Child—Will you please play something for me on the violin, Mr. Jones? Jones But I don't know how, Bobby. T. C.—Oh. yes. you do, Mr. Jones, I heard mamma say you played second fiddle to Mrs. Jones. Mrs. O'Toole—Shure, tls bad man ners yer gout has, Mrs. O'Flinn. ()1 found him in me cabbage patch this marnlu*. Mrs. Flinn Sliure, thin, 'tls not bad manners Hint do bother the dartin’. Oi call it blame poor taste! Fluffy Young Thing—I’d like to pre pay the express on tills package. Ex press Company’s Agent—What's the valus? Fluffy Young Thing—Nothing, sir. It's a bundle of letters. I'm sending them back to him.—Chicago Tribune. Caller (on crutches and with a band* age over one eye) — I have come, sir, to make application for the amount due on my accident insurance policy. 1 fell down a long flight of stairs the other evening and sustained damage« that will disable me for a month to come. Manager of Company—Young man, I have taken the trouble to investigate your case, and I find you are not en titled tq anything. It could not be called an accident. You certainly knew the young lady's father was at home.— •tray Storks.
