■•■DON RECORDER
•rrry day or so. But the world obsti
nately refuses to l>e destroyed, and
when it comes to an end. only one
prophet will be entitled to gasp. "I
told you so!" A year ago Mme. d*
Thebes
of France predicted war be
OREGON
KNDON
tween Japan and America In Novem
ber. 1908. Instead, a little later, there
Come let us worry together about the was the exchange of |>eaceful tiotes
ice crop I
Nothing dnunted. madarne predicts ter
If bachelors are to be taxed how can rfble wars between next August and
they be expected to save enough mon February, 1910. So look out for a “red
year."
ey to get married?
•THE
CHILD LIFE SHOULD IE BEAUTIFUL.
By Sir Oliver Lodge.
The ultimate object of religious training
must be to encourage such Ideas and habits
as shall result in a happy ebildhood and h
sound and useful life.
The first real gods of a child are bls pa-
rents, however ungodltke they may be. And
hence arises that feeling of security and near-
ness of protection aud law which is one of
the luxuries of childhood, and, I may add.
uue uf the responsibilities of parenthood, That uatiou
or colony which could Insure that its children should
spend their short and vital early years among healthy,
happy surroundings suited to their time of life and
state of development, and leading to a good, robust,
serviceable manhood and womanhood—that nation would
in a few generations stand out from amongst the rest
■ of the world as something almost superhuman.
From my experience of the innate goodness of un
spoiled humanity I have an idea that if children could
be planted amidst favorable surroundings they would
nearly all flourish and grow beautiful as plants do
under right conditions.
No fraction of the world or of the individual can be
thoroughly healthy and happy while any member of it
Is degraded and wretched.
opl E;
Bible war eeems merely a perpetual anarchy. Revolution
creates government, but anarchy only creates mure an
archy.
An Interesting study of "College Ei.
trance Requirements In Theory and
Practice" which afijieared In The In
SOCIETY MAKIS “PROFESSION” OF CRIME.
dependent presented n long list of uni
By H. J. B. Montgomery,
very
Queen Lil thinks her claim against varsities and colleges at which a
Many penologists assert that the profession-
were
the government will be paid. Anyway, large percentage of the students
sioual criminal is a man whom it is hopeless
these
it won't hurt her to feel optimistic admitted with conditions. One of
to reform. They say that he finds in crime
Institutions, which took In more than
not only a livelihood, but exhilaration, sport,
about it.
50 per cent on these terms, formerly
fascination. He is a beast of prey, who must
European courts hold that the man Insisted that all conditions should 1»
be not only muzzled but eaged in the Inter
worked
off
before
the
student
could
who owns land also owns the air over
ests of society. I have no hesitation in stat
it This looks like trouble for the enter the freshman class. The appli
ing as the result of my experience that the
cants had to pass examinations, nc
••ronauts.
assumption which underlies the arguments of
matter what school they came from. Tf
the ¡»enolGglstB is not only not correct, but Is absolutely
It is reported that a German profes they took the examinations early In the
fallacious. The criminal who tiuds a fascination in
aor has concussion of the brain. Prob summer and failed tn certain studies
crime has no existence save In the imagination of the
ably caused by a collision between two they worked on those studies through
penologist The professional criminal has been made
trains of thought.
the summer vacation and tried again
such by society. He is a prison product In the first in
at the opening of the college in the fall.
stance, and when he is released from prison society gives
An Oklahoma woman has 301 ways If they failed this time in whole or
him clearly to understand that hls place for the future
to cook com. But mother will go on In part they were kept out until they
is with hls own class—the criminal class.
soaking them in hot water and apply could make good. With the system
Out of the light of my own experience I declare that
ing father’s best razor.
changed, entering with conditions has
men,
even criminals, are not so hopeless, so callous, so
become the rule, and such a history
incorrigible, so devoid of human feelings as the penolo-
There la no good and sufficient ren emphasizes, we think, some of the
gists would have us suppose, In every human being
eon why you should mind your own ¡mints that are made by John G. Bow
there are principles of good and evil, and possibilities
you
business If other people will pay
man, the writer of the article in The
of
either being evolved. The easiest way, I suggest, to
tnore for minding theirs.
Independent. If the purpose of the BLUFF AND NOISE MODERN WEAPONS.
abolish the professional criminal is to cease manufactur
colleges la to Increase the student roll
By G. K. Chesterton,
More school children are made sick It la no doubt successful, but the ques
ing him.
On
most
political
platforma,
in most news-
by improper eating than by anything tion naturally arises: "What slgnlfi
¡tapers and magazine«, 1 observe that there HIGHEST FUNCTION OF THE CHURCH.
•lee. The cooks' union should Inspect canoe have the requirements?" They
are
at preseut only two Ideas, either tu avoid
the food of all echool children.
By Rev. A. H. Stephens.
are, as Mr. Bowman says, not a real
controversy or to eouduet it by mere bluff
minimum, "they are at best an osten
Ths church must ever be the handmaid ut
and nuise. Evasion aud violence are the only
Mrs. William E. Annis asks: “I« sible minimum, any part of which is
low enforcement and stand aggressively for
expedients. A man must be deaf to bls op
there no unwritten law for broken liable lu most colleges to temporary
the suppression of vice and public immorality.
ponents' arguments; he may be deaf and si
hearted widows or fatherless chil suspension and occasionally to complete
The highest function of the church Is to serve
lent, aud this 1» called dignity; or be may
dren?” A very pertinent question.
abrogation.” There is no standard
the community in which it Is io««ted, in its
be deaf aud noisy, and this is called "slashing
worthy of the name, but merely a pre
civic, social and religious life, It should feel
Journalism ” But both these things are equally remote
Had a woman's club been In exist
tense at a standard. The requirements
its
responsibility to present a higher type of
from the fighting spirit, which involves au interest In
ence in Mark Antony's time we should
look big in the catalogue, but the dis
life than Is found elsewhere, less influenced
the enemy's movements lu order to parry or to pierce
not have had to wait till now to learn
cretion that is used takes all the fervor
by human prejudice and human passion, freer
them.
that he married Cleopatra for her out of them and reduces them to an
from
compromising
entanglements and questionable alli
It
is
¡«art
of
that
uuchlvalrous
aud
even
uumilltary
money.
absurdity. There Is no real co-opera-
ances, exhibiting ths purest form of social circumspec
idea of bullying, of using bombastic terrors in order to
China now owns Its telegraph system tfon between the secondary school aud
avoid a conflict which is at this moment the highest tur tion and political and commercial probity.
The community has a right to expect something bet
•—which makes us wonder if it isn't the college, but an excellent opportu
ret of the tall hypocrisies of Europe. Europe Is full
ter
from the church than it finds in Itself—higher Ideals
quicker to send tbs Chinese language nity Is offered for passing along ths
of the Idea of bluff, the Idea of cowing the human spir
by freight than try to strain the wires unfit. If numbers alone Is the object
and more unselfish endeavor at their realization. In
it with a ¡«inted panorama of physical force. We see It
Mr. Howman Is right in saying that
these respects the church owes it to the community that
with it
In the huge armaments which we dare to accumulate,
"the college has embarked upon a dan
it shall not be disappointed, but that It shall experience
but should hardly dare to use.
An Eskimo, with a scientific educa gerous course which threatens Its sin
the thrill, if not the surprise, of entire fulfillment. The
I do not like hovering and lingering threats of arms
tion and the proper outfit, la going cerity and Its efficiency.” On the other
church must seek the cooperation and allegiance of the
nients nor do I like hovering and lingering threats of
after the north pole In deadly earnest. hand, If the printed requirements are
riot. If people want to have a revolution let them have contiguous populations, not for its own good, but for the
The Eskimos believe that the pole unreasonable. “It Is time not to make
it and let it have the advantage of a revolution, that of good of those sought, ever teaching the lesson by exam
exceptions that confuse al) standards
should be kept at home.
being drastic and decisive. But a mere parade of pos- ple that it Is more noble to serve than to be served.
and demoralize students, but seriously
“All children are liars," said a Wls- to face the problem of organizing pre
1 derful hockey game, where everybody deal of money, aud now I think that
SONG OF THE BY-AND-BY.
eon sin profesaor. A well-known biblical paratory education on a basis that Is
skated about eating hot goose and cran I would better take you home In my
personage who made the same state really vital and indispensable, and of
berries. he heard a bell. Hs wondered automobile Just as fast as I can. Your
ment concerning all men admitted af devising machinery capable of en- ft seems so far to the happy day
what it could be and before he could mother will be worrying about you.”
terward that be spoke in haste.
forcing It.”
When the clouds will leave the sky.
When they were seated in the big
But 'tls sweet to hear, when the world ask he awoke with a start. Almost at
machine
and were wrapped In by the
hls
ear
the
telephone
bell
was
ringing.
is gray.
Ona of the preachers says Adam was
BUYS HER A BOX OF CANDY.
heavy robes. Mr. Walwlck suddenly
He
jumped
and
took
down
the
re
The
song
of
the
By-and-By
1
a loafer. This decision has probably
asked what the boy had thought by
ceiver. “Hello I” be shouted.
been arrived at because we have no Government Make« Good for t'hoeo- The hills and rills—they are
the peculiar message.
“
Is
this
Walwlck
&
Waldon?"
latee
boat
in
Custom
House.
proof that Adam ever got up In the
bright.
"I thought it was very funny, but
"Yes, this Is Walwlck & Waldon’s
By sending to a woman who lives in
morning and put on the coffee pot for
And our cares like phantoms fly ;
how could It be dated January 2, when
office.
”
Best
Fifteenth
street
a
large
box
of
Eve.
An echo sweet in the lonesome night
"Well, I hardly hoped to catch any this Is New Year's?”
chocolate bonbons to take the place of
Is the song of the By and-By !
“You will have to ask your school
one. Take down this cablegram aud
Mr. Rockefeller has given another candy she had lost when it was passing
teacher
to explain why, but you see
rush
it
through
to
Mr.
Walwlck.
million to the University of Chicago, through the custom house on Its way It seems so far to the happy day.
the
earth
turns round the sun and It
‘
“
Calcutta.
India,
Jan.
2.
rate
of
a
million
a
year
it
will
At the
to her from Germany, Uncle 8am re-
But its rest they’ll not deny ;
Is the day after New’ Year's In India
"‘Spike sugar Hardly new candle.
take him twenty-eight years more to llev<d himself of the suspicion of petty We bear what the angeJa sing aod say
now. Each of the queer words In the
“ ’Spiegel, Hocker & Sons.'
In the song of the By-and-By !
give away the >29,000,000 saved by not thievery, the New York Press says. The
“There, have you got that? All right. message means a whole sentence when
having to pay the fine assessed by woman did not demand restitution. —Frank L. Stanton.
you look them up In a little book I
Repeat it. All right. Good-by.”
Judge lendls.
When she discovered that half the
Clarence rubbed hls eyes. There was carry. We call it a code.”
candy which her friends In Germany
When they came to Clarence's
the message written out, but what a
Massachusetts has a law to prevent had «ent her lu u huge Christmas egg
message! It did not mean anything and house. Mr. Walwlck went into the
recklessness and speeding In automo Imd dlsapiteared In transit she solemn-
it was dated a day ahead. He remem warm parlor and told the story to hls
biles, which law may be rendered rldlc- 'y sat down and wrote a letter to Col
bered hearing that Mr. Walwlck lived mother. Then he took a piece of paper
nlc'is by Its wrong punctuation, ns It lector of the Port Fowler.
In some hotel. He had seen the name and wrote something on It. "What
furbids driving over roads "laid out
"Your men have eaten of the candy
some place. Oh. yes, It was on the do you think that means?” he said:
under the authority of the law reck- which was made abroad specially fol
Waw heart wire Clarence Young
magazines.
There it was, The Albero.
leesly or while under the Influence of me," she said. “The occurrence must
Like a flash he ran downstairs and desk apple.
liquor." Boston. In consequence, Is In not happen again."
“I might tell you. sir, tf I had the
Clarence had looked forward to the Jumped on a street ear.
rhetorical spasms.
Her complaint was so straightfor
code," said Clarence.
(wo
weeks
of
holiday
time
through
all
In
about
twenty
minutes
he
reached
ward that It Impressed the collector.
"Well, here Is the code book, You
An extraordinary demand has arisen Usually peremptory demand Is mnde for the school months. But when Christ the hotel, and as he stepped in the door
and your mother can look It up.”
mas
had
come,
hls
brother,
who
was
he
saw
Mr.
Walwlck
just
entering
the
in the eastern counties of England for restitution when small loss Is experi
And this was what
second-hand Bibles—the older and dirt enced on imported goods. There was the messenger for the firm of Walwlck dining room. He rushed ud to him and looking up the words: they read by
A
Waldon,
suddenly
became
111.
"lie'll
ier the better Copies which formerly nothing of that kind In the woman's
“Walwlck & Walden hereby promise
realised four pence are now readily letter. She simply desired that the col be on hls feet in a week," the doctor
to give Clarence Young the best educa-
said,
but
In
the
meantime
the
poor
lad
bought for half a crown. They are lector should know that her candy had
tlon possible at their expense.”—The
being used to manufacture evidence of been eaten and that it should not occur was worrying about hls place in the
Housekeeper.
office.
age in the case of old-age pensions. A again.
“Can't I take your place?” asked
woman who produced a Bible to prove
"That letter sounds straight.” the col
Beasts Fond of Tobacco.
her age as 70 from an entry on the lector said. "I am unwilling that a Clarence.
We
have
all beard of how to tame a
Thus it was arranged and for the
flyleaf had. unfortunately, omitted to lady who has paid duty on candy sent
lion or tiger by steadily keeping the eye
days
before
New
Year's
Clarence
two
tear out the title page, which showed from abroad should be deprived of any
fixed on him. According to an expert
ran errands and did everything that
that the Bible was printed in 1896.
of it."
animal trainer a more effective method
asked of him. Just as the office
was
He summoned the men who had han
Is a cigar or cigarette, says the St.
being closed ths night before New
In the advertising columns of the dled the candy package, which was val was
Ixmis Post-Dispatch.
called
him
and
Year's.
Mr.
Walwlck
newapu(>ers are found the business ued at >10. There was no chocolate In
"Nearly every wild beast that I have
to come dowu
said
that
he
ex[»ected
cards of countless seers and clairvoy- the corners of any of their mouths. The
ever come across.” said this man, "is
morning although the
town
the
next
anta, who promise for a small sum to collector exonerated them all. Finally
fond of tobacco lu some shape or form
office would be closed, and he wished
rend the veil of the future and tell some one suggested that, rather than Clarence to be sure and get the mall
I made this discovery quite accident
their patrons what Is going to hapi>en l»e regarded as petty thieves, the men and place It on his desk and wait for
ally. One of the visitors who was
to them. Tliat paludata, card renders who handled the package make up a him.
smoking a cigar puffed some of the
and clairvoyants are able to pay for fund and buy a box of candy to re
smoke into the lion’s face as he lay-
It was quite early when Clarence
the advertisements which appear in the place that which had disappeared. They found hls way Inside the silent build
asleep in the cage.
same place day after day is evidence did it. and the collector sent it to the Ing. He had brought hls skates with
"I expected to see a real riot, but in
that they And enough credulous persons woman with the compliments aud beet him. as there was to be a hockey game
stead of that the lion, after giving a
to keep the prediction business on a wishes of the men.
couple of sneezes, moved quietly up to
later, and there was to be ths family
paying basis. Their victims are beyond
the bars and raised hls nose snlfflngly,
dinner and ths usual good time on
Th« Distinction.
HELIX) !
reason, or they would reflect that the
as if asking for a second dose. I have
New
Year's
afternoon.
He
carefully
School Teacher—Johnny, what is a
forecaster of future events, such as
put the mall on Mr. Walwlck's desk and Mr. Walwick looked at him In surprise tried the experiment on all sorts of
the condition of the stock market six patriot?
wild animals since and I have found
Johnny—A man that tries to benefit sat down to wait The Janitor came and then remembered hls face.
months ahead, would make more
that most of them enjoy thoroughly a
and
swept,
but
Mr.
Walwlck,
did
not
"Yea,
what
is
It?
”
money by using hls knowledge for hls hls country.
“It's a message telephoned In, sir.” big sniff of tobacco.
School Teacher—And what Is a poli come. There was still plenty of time
own benefit than by selling it for twv
“We used to spjadhaktyu. Ik-Ing aao
before
the
game,
but
the
clock
hands
and
he gave over the slip of paper.
dollars. Beeldes the prophets who are tician?
"We had a bear here once that used
i were slowly turning.
Finally
he
It
over
and
Mr.
Walwlck
looked
Johnny—A man that trie« to have hls
In the business for the profit there is
to
rub hie nose and back against the
up
a
magazine
and
turned
over
picked
of
hls
pocket,
quickly
took
a
book
out
in It, the world is blessed with gen country benefit him.—Judge.
the pages. The hour when he should be went to the hotel office and wrote a bars of his cage just like a cat asking
erous philanthropic seers, who publish Don’t Wear 'Em Straight Any More. playing came.
to be stroked whenever any one smok
half a dozen telegrams.
free of charge predictions, always of
They were ready to go out.
The game was on now, he knew.
“That was a close shave,' •» he said ing a cigar came near him. Antelopes
some disaster, as great storms, earth
"Is my hat on crooked?" she asked. Tbs office was getting chilly and he half aloud, and then noticed Clarence and wild goata aren't satisfied with the
quakes, wars, and the end of the world.
Thus, owing to the new style of head walked around from room to room. He at hls side.
mere whiff. If yon give them a cigar
Sometimes an event obligingly falls gear. a traditional phrase used by the looked at the clock. The game must
"How under the sun did you bap or a cigarette they will awallow it
eut on somebody's prediction, and a feminine sex ever since woman was have been over for some time and they pen to be at the office?"
eagerly and, what Is more, seem to suf
reputation la made. If seers in all created, received a stunning blow.— would be expecting him for dinner.
"You told me to wait, sir, until you fer no bad effects from their meal."
parte of the world keep on foreseeing Judge.
He was getting cold and hungry. came.”
When the girls rave about a man
earthquake« every day or two, an
Then he told the whole story, and when he flrat comes to town. In three
Ry and by a man gets tired of asking Strange as It was, when he begnn to
earthquake, when it comes, will be like
for hls dally bread and Insists on hav I give up hope the time seemed to go when he had finished the head of the months they want to set the dog on
ly to find a prophecy awaiting It. The
faster. Finally be curled up on a couch great firm of Walwlck A Waldon took
ing pie aud cake.
him.
eurtqi 1« ao taken up with predictions
and went to sleep.
ths messenger boy by the band Just as
that an event must alight on one of
Life's a gamble and every man has a
Dream, after dream tumbled over ’If he had been a grown man and said:
A matchless cigar may be lighted lu
Ibsui A pronfaet destroys the world chance unless he's a Wall street lamb. each other,, and lu the midst uf a won-
•
"My ted, you've suved us a great some other maimer.
•
•
Mr. Gompers says Just as good men
as he have been In Jail. Sure enough!
John Bunyan, not to speak of others.
/
1
a
t
a
a
»
THE GOLD INDUSTRY.
Aa Illustration H bleb Gives
Idea of Its Immensity la America.
An eagle, a >’.0 gold piece. Is just
about one inch In diameter. Imagine a
glittering yellow ribbon of 10 gold
pietes. lying edge to edge, (»ginning at
ban Frauciseo and extending eastward
through the Sacramento Valley of Galt*
fornla. across the lofty Sierra Nevada
mountains, spanning the Great Ameri
cas Desert in Nevada and I'tab, over
the prairies of Wyoming'and Nebraska,
across the green fields of lows and 1111-
nota, over Indiana and Ohio and Massa
chusetts. half way to the British Isles—•
Imagine thia continuous string of golden
eagles edge to edge, without break or
Interruption, over this vnst stretch of
land and sea—-a distance which con
sumes at least eight days in the swift
est express train and ocean steamers—•
and you will be able to form some con
ception of the amount of gold that has
beeu produced In the United Stater.
It requires some such Illustration as
this to grasp the immensity of the gold
Industry, to form some definite Idea of
the I tn port n nee and magnitude of ths
geld production of the North American
continent.
The profits from The gold Industry
are magnificent. They are greater than
In any other department of commercial
activity. The figures of the world's
production are enormous. In 1907 ths
output of the gold mines of the earth
amounted to nearly >500.000,000. Of this
vast sum about one-half, or more than
>200,000.000. was net profit. No other
Industry can make such a showing as
this. This gold was found in America,
In Mexico. In South Africa, In Australia
and elsewhere.
This huge sum of profits, more than
>200.000.000. was distributed to score«
of thousands of people.
Tramp—Lady, I'm near perishing
from exposure! Lady—Are you a Con
gressman or a Senator?—Town Topics.
"Doesn’t she ever stop talking?” "Oh,
yes, when she Is breaking In a fresh
piece of gum."—Washington (D. C.)
Herald.
“Is that woinan rich?” "Rich? I
should say so! Why, she can even af-
ford to be a klept orna nine."— Baltimore
American.
"She's not handsome. Is she?” “Lord,
no! Say, if there was a tax on beau-
ty, she'd be entitled to a pension.“—
Cleveland Leader.
"The first time he went out in hls
new auto he ran across a few friends,
and ----- ” “Did they leave families?—
Baltimore American.
“Now, then, look pleasant, please."
"Not at all; this Is to send to my wife
at the seashore. She would come horns
at once!”—Fllegende Blatter.
“Was your father college bred?"
"Yes, but we never mentioned It. The
college be went to had a rotten foot
ball team.”—Chicago Record Herald.
She—Are you good at guessing wom
en’s ages? He—You are not over 25.
She—How do you know? He—No
woman over 25 ever asks that ques
tion.
John—I've Just lost a thousand dol
lars. Julia—Well, it Is better that ,t
should have happened to you than to
some poor beggar on the street.—The
Club Fellow.
"It takes a heap o’ determination,
son," said Uncle Ebeu. “to hav yoh
own way In dis life, an' a heap o’
brains to know what to do wlf it after
you gits It.”—Washington Star.
Harlemite—If you wrote yesterday
morning. I don’t see why I only got
your note this evening. Downtownite
—1 do. I affixed a special delivery
stamp to the letter.—New York Times.
“Ponsonby Is the laziest man I ever
saw.” "What's the matter now?” "II«
wants a safety razor that can be op-
erated by a storage battery concealed
in the I lh ndle.”— Bi rm I ng tin m A ge- Her-
aid.
Mrs. Hubbubs (engaging cook)—Have
you any male friends? I can't have any
men hanging around the place. Mandy
Snowball—None, 'cept mah husbau’,
an' tie don't come aroun’ 'cept on pay
day.—1’hilHdelphla Record.
Terrible Child—Will you please play
something for me on the violin, Mr.
Jones? Jones But I don't know how,
Bobby. T. C.—Oh. yes. you do, Mr.
Jones, I heard mamma say you played
second fiddle to Mrs. Jones.
Mrs. O'Toole—Shure, tls bad man
ners yer gout has, Mrs. O'Flinn. ()1
found him in me cabbage patch this
marnlu*. Mrs. Flinn Sliure, thin, 'tls
not bad manners Hint do bother the
dartin’. Oi call it blame poor taste!
Fluffy Young Thing—I’d like to pre
pay the express on tills package. Ex
press Company’s Agent—What's the
valus? Fluffy Young Thing—Nothing,
sir. It's a bundle of letters. I'm
sending them back to him.—Chicago
Tribune.
Caller (on crutches and with a band*
age over one eye) — I have come, sir, to
make application for the amount due
on my accident insurance policy. 1 fell
down a long flight of stairs the other
evening and sustained damage« that
will disable me for a month to come.
Manager of Company—Young man, I
have taken the trouble to investigate
your case, and I find you are not en
titled tq anything. It could not be
called an accident. You certainly knew
the young lady's father was at home.—
•tray Storks.