Bandon recorder., March 23, 1905, Image 3

o
■i»
O
O
O
O
*
«
í/
(--------------------------------------------------------- ■9
Gems In Verse
»—-------------------------------
The Race.
The race was on With voice and whip
Each rider urged his steed
Around the course a score of times
At most tremendous speed.
And to the end my jockey's horse
Was always in the lead.
»
My jockey rid« hts prancing steed
With perfect ease and grace.
My heart beats high with love for him;
I watch his eager face;
It WMtrs a most determined look—
He’s bound to win the race.
< >
Conal and Donal
and Taig
< >
StllMAS MACMAM.S
Cirpyrmlu, lavi, hfl Seumiu M'irli mu»
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦+♦++♦+++++++++++++
“your memory, (tonal, must certainly
be a very wonderful on«' if you can
mi in I that time.
“Taig,” said the judge, says he, ‘T ld
afraid your memory cuu't void pa rt
with Conal'« ami Donal’«.”
“Can’t It?” says Taig, says he. ”Tak«
c;We of that, for I mind the time whet*
you wouldn't tin<1 nine liars In a crowd
of ten men.“
"Ob, oh. oh,” says the Judge, says be
“that memory of yours. Taig, must bt
a wonderful one." Says he, “Such
memories as you three men have were
never known before, und which of you
has the greatest memory beats me to
say.
“But 1’11 tell you what I'll do, now,”
says be. "1'11 give the field to whichev­
er of you has the keenest sight.”
“Then,” says Conal, says he. "It's me
gets the field, because,” says be. “if
either of them. Ilow ■ . r ar_
Talk?"
•Well.” »ay» Taiiwaay- p
if 1 WII»
a Judge and too stupid to decide a case
that came up before n fj T h - tbsl
clever that I'd look Wise "J K ivw so UR
decision.”
"Taig.” says the Judge, says he. “I've
gone into this ease and deliberated on
it. and by all the laws of right und J»
tlce 1 find and decide that you get the
Held."
WOMAN ARD FASHION HUMOR OF THE HOUR FACTS IN FEW LINES
• ♦ ■
\ Huutl mibcb «-
Simplicity and good taste mark moat
of the style- for children this »-.i-*
Both are shown In ciu|rin!ug effect In
this little dress of r< -e > agcred » ash
mere, irfairned With narrow black silk
This Is the conversation that took
place ts'tneeu the girl with the two
story pompadour aud the girl with the
aeroplane hat, on the Wentworth ave­
nue ear:
"Seer, Jen!”
“Watch* wanta me7'
"Wanta askeesumpln. Ooze cummln-
»ut ekuor house t’moranight?’
“A wqultcherfoolln!”
Alntaf<x*lln. OozacumminF’
Awka moff. Alntnobodycummln.”
Inobettern that.”
“Betchadollar thaint.”
“Betchadollar thlz.”
"Awka moff!"
“Seer, Jen! JixMneentellme Imalyre?'
“Srlte. Ooze blnastuffin yuh?’
"NolKxldilzblustuttinine. Ino wotttn*
■tawkinabout.”
"Awka moff! Nothininnit allsame."
"Sawl overtown.”
“Wotsaw lovertown 7’
“BoucliooantoiiiJackson."
“OozeeF*
“Cure shoo don't know.”
"Core si don't."
“Betcbadoo.”
“Say! Juno Lilsimmons?"
“Bettldoo. Ullo! Ear sware Iga toff.”
“Well, g’by!”
“G’byfi’—Chicago Tribune.
Tl e iar e*t ».
K q> in the worM
a botk of
tons, u being built at
Bremerhaven.
It to satin
it t G
| ». .
have to »|H'iid t5o.tM«>.UW in crushing
the rebellion In Itoulhwest Atrt .1.
During the twelve mouths ended
with last March then- were In London
4!M* known cases of Infants tlfffoeatM
tn bed.
By flying 301 miles in four hours the
pigeons of the Adelaide (Australia* Fly­
ing club have established a world's
record.
A Cape Town sergeant of police, con­
victed of accepting bribes from women,
has lieen »enteuced to sixteen months'
Imprisonment.
The latest returns show that in 1902
the local Indebtedness In the United
Kingdom was $1,717.082,910, an In
crease of $1,252,982.410 In twenty-eight
years.
For u baby show In rialstow. Eng­
land. a mean old bachelor offered a val­
uable prize for th«‘ homeliest baby, but
the managers were wise enough to de­
cline it.
The building of new harbor works in
Odessa Is projected. The Southwestern
Railroad company of Russia Is build­
ing several large grain elevators at
that port.
The growing of cotton in Spain is be­
ing encouraged by the government by
exemptlug land from taxes aud offer­
ing prizes for the most successful ex
perlments.
The disproportion of the sexes is
still very great in some parts of Aus­
tralia. In West Australia, for example,
there are only 54,000 women In a popu­
lation of KxS.OOO.
The tobacco farm at Randalstown,
Ireland, Is proving u success. Fourteen
thousand pounds' weight of leaf, the
product of twenty acres, Is being pre­
pared for the factory.
Bulgarian newspapers give tlie namtxi
of two doctors of philosophy who have
taken the teachings of Tolstoi so much
to heart that one of them has become
a cobbler and the other a bootblack.
Thorium nitrate to the amount of
04,520 pounds, valued at $232,155, was
Imported Into the United States last
year for use principally In the manu­
facture of incandescent gaslight man­
tles.
Owing to the success of the "no tip”
popular restaurant hi Piccadilly, Lon­
don. other restaurants are about to en­
force the no tip rule. Tlie popular
waiters receive wages and a commis­
sion.
Two men were charged with stealing
slippers from a church at Clontara,
Ireland, and the slippers were found
on the premises. Later It was discov­
ered that a sacrilegious dog had stolen
the slippers.
The locomotives for the railroads In
Korea are bought exclusively In the
United States, presumably because
they are more quickly obtainable there.
The friendship for tlie United States
Is increasing.
The most costly miter In the United
States, a miter which represents $10,-
000 worth of Jewels and precious
stones. Is worn by Bishop Horstmann
of the Cleveland diocese of the Roman
Catholic church.
We have "5,000 postoffices and 500,-
000 miles of postal routes, with a year­
ly travel over them amounting to $150,-
000,000 a year. The receipts now al­
most equal the expenditures nnd have
doubled in the last ten years.
The first order for lumber for the
Panama canal construction has been
received by Bellingham (Wash.) mills.
A little more than 2,080,000 feet will be
supplied in the first consignment, ln-
tendisl for construction of houses along
the canal route.
The median age of negroes Is 19.4
years—that is, half the negroes In the
United States are below that age. The
median age Is four years below that of
the whites. 23.4 years, a difference
closely connected with the high birth
rate and high death rate of the ne-
groes.
This advertisement in a San Fran-
cisco paper resulted In a happy reunion
and a wedding at the Japanese mis­
sion: "Wanted—Bridegroom Mototaro
Hlrasawa of San Francisco by bis for­
saken bride, who waits him in Victoria
In the hands of foreigners.” Mototaro,
etc., had thought his bride would come
direct to San Francisco.
Ecuador has given the nuns In the
country the option of retiring to public
hospitals, where they will be cared for
at the expense of the cities and towns,
or of leaving tlie country. In the event
that they decide to leave the country
they will receive an Indemnity of about
$2,400 in gold each. The convents and
other property are being confiscated.
One of the most remarkable prisoner«
In the United States Is a convict in
Sing Sing who edits the prison paper,
the Star of Hope. He Is there for
burglary, but in his time has been law­
yer, reporter, confidence man, secretary
to a khedive of Egypt, preacher, forger
and politician. lie Is an Englishman
by birth.
The work of capturing wild horse» in
Ihe.rJclEltT of Fox T-rint’.'.'c end Mad
»line plains has begun, nnd several an­
imals have been taken. The country is
practically a wild, unbroken stretch of
mountains In western Nevada and east
•ru Caiitortiiu that is too rough for any
purpose except grazing and over which
several thousand bead of wild horses
roam.
After many attempts a successful fish
cannery seems to have been establish­
ed In England. It Is on the banks of
the Tyne, and already. It Is said, the
Tyne brand cans have found their way
to Australia. Japan, China, India, Cey­
lon, New Zealand, South America, the
west coast of Africa, to Mediterranean
porta and from the Cape up country to
Kimberley tnd the Transvaal
NCE there were three brothers
“The M bit» Man’» Burden,
named Conal, Irnual aud Taig
He had won bis Ethel after a pro
and they fell out regarding
traded i "Urtsliip. aud
although
which of then* owned a field
he was tilled with a sense of delighted
With ringing voice he rushes on; *
of land. One of them had as good a
security, be thought It wise to ask one
The race Is nearly done.
or two questions.
The steed he rides strains every nerve;
claim to It as tlie other, aud the claim*:
This work for him Is fun.
"1 am sure you are not the sort of
of all of them were so equal that none
One more leap and then—hurrah!
girl who would tell of domestic trou­
of the Judges ever they went before
My jockey's horse has won!
bles liefore u man bad eaten his din
My bright faced boy, just three years old, could decide In favor of one more than
ner,” he said, with confidence, but a
•the other.
Wai this successful groom;
rising Inflection.
The course whereon the race was run
At length they went to one Judge
"No, indeed,” said Ethel.
Was In the sitting room.
who was very wise Indeed and had a
And. strange to tell, the horse that won
"And when I seem a little ruffled or
Was mamma's kitchen broom.
great name, aud every one of them
worried you’d be the very one to say
—Thomas Holmes In Trenton Btate as­
stated his case to him.
soothing things. Now, wouldn't you?”
setta
proceeded Henry.
He sat on the beucii and heard Co
"Certainly I should." said Ethel,
nal's case aud Douai's case aud Talg’t
Stain».
"and you'd like to do it, too. I know.”
Th. three ghost« on th. lonesome road
case all through with very great pu
Spake each to one another.
“Do what?” asked Henry, with a
“Whence came that stain about your tleuce.
sudden fall to earth.
mouth
When the three of them hud finished
"The soothing and comforting and
No lifted hand may cover?"
be said he would take a day und a
putting me in good humor when the
"From eating of forbidden fruit.
night to think It all over, und on the
Brother, my brother.”
cook had been called to her aunt's fu­
day after when they were ull called
Nollilnic StrHnire.
neral for the third time and your busl
The three »host« on the sunless rood
« hue ' s pubs .
Into court again the Judge suld that
uess friends were coming to dinner.”
Crabbe—I admit I was pretty cranky
Spake each to one another,
"Whence cam. «but red burn on your he i*Hd weighed the evidence on all
said Ethel gently.
braid. A drop shoulder yoke is ar­ yesterday. Did the girls say anything
foot
"Ye-es, of course, I should try to,” ranged over the full waist aud sleeves. about it?
sides with all the deliberation it was
No dust or ash may cover?”
faltered Henry.
Tlie skirt corresponds to the waist,
Wise—Oh. no.
“I stamped a neighbor’s hearth flame possible to give It, and he decided that
out.
"And when you’d been bored at the having a yoke to which the full skirt
Crabbe- Funny they didn't notice my
oue
of
them
hadn't
the
shadow
of
a
Brother, my brother."
office with your cousins from the coun­ Is gathered. The design is suitable to behavior.
shade of a claim more than the other,
try you’d neier speak of It till din­ all the season's materials, such as
The three ghosts on the windless road
Wise—I don't suppose they saw any­
hi
m
se
If
fuclng
the
so
that
he
found
Spake each to one another.
ner was all onir, would you. dear Hen­ serge, mohair, cotton cheviot und many thing unusual ubout it. — New York
••Whence came that blood upon your greatest puzzle be had ever faced in
ry?” said the trusting Ethel. "I know of the smart plaids now so popular. Times.
hand
his life.
the sort of n.an you are, who wants to The medium size requires three aud
No other hand may cover?”
"But,” says he. "no puzzle puzzle»
carry his share of the burdens, don't five-eighths yards of forty-four Inch
“From breaking of a woman's heart.
Danger.
Brother, my brother.”
me long, I’ll very soon decide which
1?"
“I must say I enjoy a spice of dan-
material.
“I—I hop« you do," said Henry In a
ger,” said the man wlio affects brava-
“Yet on the earth clean men we walked. of you will get the field, You seem tc
disheartened tone. “Let us speak of
Glutton and thief and lover;
Tlie Reni Hedinicote.
do.
me to be three pretty lazy looking fel­
White flesh and fair It hid our stains
the new magazines, Ethel.”
There are redlngote« and redlngotes,
"Is that why you gave up your au-
lows,
and
I'll
give
tlie
field
to
which
That no man might discover.”
but don't Imagine the long, close fitting tomoblle?" asked the sarcastic friend.
“Naked the soul goes up to God.
ever of the three of you la the lazi
The Joke on Mark Twain.
coat Is a real redlngote, for it isn't,
“No; that's why I go on foot in the
Brother, my brother.”
eat."
One warm day in Hartford. Conn., despite the belief of many fashionable Btreets where other people ruu auto­
—Theodosia Garrison In 8cribner*a
"Well, at that rate,” says Conal,
Mark Twain on hjs way home from a women. The redlngote tn Paris is far mobiles.”—Washington Star.
me gets the field, for I'm the laziest
Maxlmui.
long walk felt somewhat fatigued. different. It has a full skirt extending
1 nold him great who tor love's sake
man of the lot”
“I'm afraid your memory can’t com­ Suddenly he sat down upon a carriage to withlu three or four inches of the
Takln« the Order.
Can »Ivo with generous, earnest will;
pare uith Conal'» and Donal'».’’
"How lazy are you?” says the Judge.
block to rest for a bit and began vigor- edge of the dress skirt. It flares out
Yet he who takes for love's sweet sake
ously
to
fan
himself
with
bls
hat.
"Well," says Conal, "if I was lying there was a fly perched on the top of
from the sides and back and Is gener­
I think 1 hold more generous stilt
There chanced to be In his immedi­ ous in cut. It is another style taken
in the middle of the road aud there yon mountain, ten miles away, 1 could
I bow before the noble mind
ate neighborhood at the moment the from the sixties and is a boon to the
was a regiment of troopers coming tell you every time he blinks.”
That freely some great wrong forgives.
Yet nobler Is the one forgiven
“You have wonderful sight, Conal,” author of "Innocents Abroad" seated thin woman, yet a comfort to the stout
galloping down It, I'd sooner let them
himself a street piano man, who soon one, for it apparently does not Increase
Who bears the burden well and Uvea.
ride over me than take the bother ot says the Jfldge, says he. “and
■truck up a lively tune.
afraid
you
’
ve
got
the
field."
her size. It Is a comfortable and sensi­
It may be hard to gain, and still
getting up and going to the oue side.”
An elderly lady passing the two evi­ ble garment and looks well with either
To keep a lowly, steadfast heurt;
“Take care." says Donal, says he,
"Well,
well,
”
suys
the
Judge,
says
be,
Yet he who loses has to fill
"but I've got as good, for I could tell dently jumped to the conclusion that a small toque or u picture hat.
A harder und a truer part.
"you are a lazy man surely, and I you whether it was a mote lu his eye the author was tlie assistant of the
doubt if Donal or Taig can be as lazy that made him blink or not.”
musician, for she stopped and dropped
The Modern Sleeve».
Glorious It Is to wear the crown
Of a deserved and pure success;
us that."
"Ah, ha, ba," says the judge, says he, a coin In the hat Mr. Twain had in
Some feminine genius lias seen the
He who knows how to fall has won
"Oh, faith,” says Donal, "I’m Just “tills Is wonderful sight surely. Taig,” hand.
possibilities of present day sleeves. She
A crown whose luster Is not less.
Whereupon the humorist arose and. has produced an innovation which will
says lie, "I pity you, for you have no
every bit as lazy.”
Great may he be who can command
bowing most politely, gave expression appeal to every woman with Ideas.
“Are you?” says the judge. "How la­ chance for the field now.”
And rule with just und tender sway;
“Have I uot?” says Taig. “I could In stately phrase to his thanks. Then
This is nothing less than an adjusta­
Yet is diviner wisdom taught
zy are you?”
it began to dawn upou tlie lady that
Better by him who can obey.
"Well.” says Donal, “if 1 was sitting tell you from here whether that fly was she made a mistake. She stepped ble sleeve. The bodice Is mnde sleeve­
in good health or not by counting bls
less, finished on the shoulder with a
right close to a big tire aud you piled
Blessed are those who die for God
back, and an expression of uneasiness band or a frill, under which the sepa­
heart beats."
And earn the martyr’s crown of light;
on it all the turf in u town land aud
"Well, well. well,” says the judge. came to her countenance.
Yet he who lives for God may be
rate sleeve, which Is full length, Is fas­
ull the wood lu u barony, sooner than says he, "I'm In us great a quandary
“Don't be frightened, madam." ob­ tened. It need not be of the gown stuff,
A greater conqueror in his sight.
—Adelaide A. Procter.
have to move I'd sit there till the boll­ as ever. You are three of the most served Mr Clemens. “It’s true the but must blend In color. Any light,
iug marrow would run out of my wonderful men that ever I met, and no man doesn't attach a chain to me. flimsy fabric Is accounted dressy, and
"Look here, I've been waiting twenty
Her lipa were ao near
Nevertheless. I’m quite well trained— some bodices have two or three sets of
mistake.
bones.”
That—what else could I do?
minutes! Aren’t there any waiters
quite
—
and.
I
assure
you.
entirely
You’ll be angry, I fear,
"But I'll tell you what I'll do,” says
different style sleeves made to wear about?”
“Well,” says the judge, "you’re a
Her lipa were ao near­
harmless.”— St. Paul Pioneer Press.
with them.
pretty lazy man. Donal, and I doubt if he. "I'll give the field to the supplest
"Yes, i sir. How many would you
Well, I can't make it clear
man of you.”
Or explain It to you—
Tufg Is as lazy as either of you.”
like?”
Homeopathic Power.
Hat Ornament».
"Thank
you,"
says
Conal.
"Then
the
Her lipa were ao near
"Indeed, then," says Taig, "I’m every field is mine.”
That—what alaa could I do?
Natrum murlaticum, n homeopathic
Buckles and similar ornaments are
Cheap at That.
bit as la»y.”
—Century.
remedy. Is common bible salt. But In more favored than seemed likely to be
"Why so?” says the judge.
Homer (to cabman) Say, I want you
"How can that be?" says the Judge.
"Because,” says Conal, says he, “if the process of dynamization lioiueo- the case at the beginning of the sea­
THE BIG DIPPER.
"Well,” says Taig, "If I was lying yon tilled that Held with hares and put patlileally its particles are subdivided son, but they are only really prized to drive down to the depot at noon and
call for my mother-ln-law. Take her
It Is the Hour Hand of tlie Wood­ on the broad of my back in the middle a ilog into the middle of them and then till they approach infinity. A German when of a very handsome sort. Rhine up to the house, and I'll give you $1.
man's Celestial Clock.
of the floor and looking up at the raft­ tied one of my legs up my back I would druggist once bet $50 that lie could pebbles and finely cut steel, mounted
Cabman—Very well, sir. But sup­
take a certain number of doses of it In enameled metal and cut Jet, have pose she doesn’t come?
The pole star Is really the most lm ers, and If soot drops were falling as not let one of the hares get out.”
“
Then,
Conal,
”
says
the
Judge,
says
every
day
for
a
month,
reasoning
that
portaut of the sturs In our sky. It thick as hallstones from the rafters In­
the lead. I have also remarked that
Homer—Oh, then I'll give you $2.—
in that time he would not take as one or two milliners are trying to re­ Chicago News.
marks the north at all times. It alone to my open eye, I would let them drop be, "I think the field Is yours."
"By the leave of your Judgeship, not much salt as could be held on the ex­ vive a taste for gold galloons, but so
Is fixed In the heavens. All tlie other there for the length of the Ice-long day
treme point of a delicate penknife. But far I have only seen it applied to white
stars seem to swing around It once In sooner than have the bother of closing yet," says Donal.
Knows His Business.
“Why, Donal.” says the judge, says be had not calculated on the "power" or blego colored felts.
twenty-four hours.
She—Don't you think a man ought to
the
eye.
”
he.
“
surely
you
are
not
as
supple
as
of
homeopathic
doses.
Before
the
But the pole star of Polaris l.s not a
say what he thinks to his wife?
"Well," says the Judge, "that's very that?”
month was half past he willingly paid
The Xeweat Green.
very bright one, and it would be bard
He—Generally perhaps, but when I
wonderful
entirely,"
and
says
he,
"I
’
m
"Am uot I?” says Donal. "Do you the bet. He had made a “proving" of
to Identify but for the help of the bo
Quite the latest color of all colors Is think a young woman Is particularly
called pointers lu the "Big Dipper," or In as great a quandary as before, for I see that old castle over there without Natrum muriirticum and did not like it. tllleul, or lime green, a dye that has attractive I find It better not to say
“Great Bear." The outer rim of the see you're the three laziest men that door or window or roof In It aud the "Affections of the inner head, headache the patronage of Paquin. It is a won­ so to my wife. Why should I breed 111
dipper points nearly to Polaris, at a ever were known since the world be­ wind blowing in und out through It as though a thousand little hammers derfully pale nnd rather cold color, feeling between two women?—Boston
were knocking at the brain," etc., is with a suspicion of shading upon It Transcript.
distance equal to three times the apace gan, and which of you is the laziest it like an Iron gate?”
"I do," says the judge. “What about the way be gives it.
that separates -the two stars of the certainly beats me to say.
like the bloom that one sees on the foli­
that?"
dipper's outer side. Various Indians
age of the lime when first the tree
On the Ice.
"Oh, I'll tell you what 1'11 do,” says
“Well," says Donal, says he, "if on
Missed the Chrlstenln*.
cHlletl the pole star the "Home Star"
comes to life In the spring. Lime green
“It’s easy,” said fikayter, trying to
tlie
Judge.
"I'll
give
the
field
to
the
the stormiest day of the year you had
and the "Star That Never Moves,” and
An enthusiastic nngler had arranged Is the acknowledged choice for blonde teach Klumsey the backward roll.
that castle filled with feathers I would to have his baby christened in the women or for those with bright brown “Don't be afraid to throw your body
the dipper they call the "Broken Back." oldest man of you."
“Then,” says Conal, “It's me gets the uot let a feather be lost or go ten yards Adnaree church. Ballina, Ireland. To hair and a complexlon of lilies and well over. All you’ve got to do Is go
The "Great Bear” is also to be remem­
from the castle until I would have reach the church a stream had to be roses.
bered as the iKiinters for another reason. field.”
way back”—
"How is that?" says the Judge. "How caught aud put it in again.”
crossed. The mother and the nurse
It Is the hour hand of the woodman's
“And sit down! Yes, 1 know I can
"Well, surely," says the judge, says went over on the bridge. The father
Made In Three Sections.
clock. It goes once around the North aid are you?”
do that, but it hurts.”—Philadelphia
This sectional sliirred skirt Is made Press.
star in about twenty four hours, the
“Well, I’m that old,” says Conal, he. "you are a supple man, Donal, and preferred to cross by boat nnd agreed
to meet the others at the church door. of willow grecu veiling, the tucks sim­
reverse way of the bands of a watch— “that when I was twenty-one years ot no mistake.
Hasty Correction.
"Taig,” says he, "there's no chance He. however, could not resist the temp ply stitched, but can be reproduced In
that Is, It goes the same way as the age I got a shipload of awls aud never
Mrs. Gaswell (at the concert)—What
tation to have a few casts with his a variety of materials. The skirt Is
sun and for the same reason —that It lost nor broke one of them. I wore for you uow."
"Don't be too sure.” says Taig, says rod, and be hooked a salmon, a sixteen made In three sections Joined beneath horrible discord!
Is the earth that la going and leaving
out the last of them yesterday mending he.
Mrs. Mannerborn—Why, that's Wag­
pounder. The anxious mother could see Mito formetl by gathering the upper
them behind.—Country Life In Amer­
my shoes."
“Why," says the judge, “you couldn't the proceedings from the church door,
ner music.
ica.
“Well, well," says the Judge, suys surely do anything to equal them but half an hour elapsed before the
Mrs. Gas well—Certainly. As I was
salmon was landed. In the meantime
he. “you're surely an old man, and I things, Taig?”
saying, what horrible discord Vogner
Du Baraaln Hnntrra Smile t
Says Taig, says he, “I can shoe the the christening took place, with th«
Is to some people!—Chicago Tribune.
“I went out shopping the other after­ doubt vury much that Donal aud Taig
swiftest race horse In the land when father at a distance.
noon," said a well known pastor of can touch up to you.”
Two Fires.
New York city, "and. having In mind
"Can’t I,” says Donal. "Take care he Is galloping at bls topmost speed by
First Love.
driving u nail every time he lifts his
Bacon—Do you know I first met my
the hymn ‘Brighten Your Way With a of that."
It is a popular fallacy that the first
foot.”
wife on a railroad train. She bad a
Smile,' I looked about to see If there
"Why," said the Judge, "bow old are
"Well, well, well," says the judge, love is the true one, unique in its ex­
cinder In her eye.
were any smiles on the faces In the big
you?
”
cellence,
says
an
exchange.
As
well
says he. "surely you are the three most
department store.
Egbert—And the last time you saw
"When I was twenty-one years of wonderful men that ever I did meet say that the first picture of a painter
her she had an entirely different kind
“In all that hurrying and pushing
of fire in her eye, I suppose?”—Yon­
anil worrying real, genuine, hearty age.” says Donal, "I got a shipload of The likes of you never were known be­ Is the best of all he will paint in the
kers Statesman.
smiles were not to lie found. 4 saw needles, and yesterday 1 wore out the fore, and I suppose the likes of you course of his life; that the first speed},
the first book, the first statue, the first
will never be on the earth again.
one smile, but It looked like n plant last of them mending my clothes.”
"There Is only one other trial," s.iys composition, will be the best of the
The Manngrr’a View of It.
"Well, weH, well,” says the judge,
that had been wintered In a cellar. It
“Is he considered successful from the
was bleached and wan."—New York says be, "you’re two very, very old he, “and If this doesn’t decide I’ll have statesman, novelist, sculptor or musi­
cian,
as
the
case
may
be.
First
works
artistic point of view?**
Press.
men to be sure, and I'm afraid poor to give it up. I’ll give the field,” says have all the imperfections of uncer­
he, "to the cleverest man amongst
“I think he Is. The manager told me
Taig Is out of his chance anyhow."
tainty, of Inexperience and ignorance.
you.”
Tbr Wnr- « tkwitrt Looked
It.
be
drew more money Into the box of­
"Take care of that' says Taig.
"Then." siys Conal, says he. "you And it is rather by chance tuiiti By
Mrs. Itenham I don't believe a word
fice than any other two stars on the
"Why,
”
said
the
Judge,
"how
old
anything
Inherent
In
the
nature
of
may
as
well
give
It
to
me
at
once.
”
of your excuse. Benham—That's Just
road.“—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Why? Are you that clever, Conal?” pld's ways that the first love turns
like a woman. 1 don't suppose Jonah's are you. Taig?"
to be the great one.
Says Taig, "When I was twenty-one says the judge, says he.
wife believed the story be told her
Her Mistake.
"4 sa: >' at <•!»•. <•:," nays Conal, "1 is
alter he had spent three nights with jeuis of uge i got u shipload of taZora,
I told Ida. if he dared to kiss
HarriaOaT« Hej.ilnoier.
j
the whale. Mrs. Benham—How do you and yesterday I had the last of them that clever that I would make a skin tit
me he'd be sorry for It.
Every schoolboy is familiar with
suit of clothes for a man without any saying of Benjamin Franklin ns
BHIBRED SKIliT.
know Jonah had a wife? Benham—He worn to a stump shaving myself.”
Belle—And was he?
wouldn't have been n Jonah If he had
Nell—No; 1 was the only one who
"Well." says the Judge, says he, “I’ve more measurement than to tell me the group of anxious faced yet loyal men edges of the two lower ones. The up-
color of bls hair.”
not been married.—Brooklyn Ufe.
stood around to sign the Immortal Dec­ per section Is shirred to form a hip was sorry—sorry 1 told him.—New Or­
often heard tell of old men," he says,
"Then, boys.” says the Judge, says laration of Independence, "Now we yoke, the center one for its entire leans Times-Democrat.
“but anything ns old as what you he, "I think the case is decided.”
A Sickener.
must all hang together or we'll all depth, while the lower Is a flounce
known since
"Not so qul. k. my friend," says Do­ hang sepnrately." But the rejoinder of shirred for several rows at Its upper
"Some people," growled Crabbe. three arc never was
It BmH" Aboat It.
*•
The
like
ot
Methusalem's
cat
died.
nal,
"not
so quick.”
“make me sick.’
"If a man once tells a girl that her
the signer, Benjamin Harrison, to the edge and laid In tucks at the lower
"Why, Donal,” says the _ Judge,
___ __
_ above witticism Is not so well known.
says
"I should think nearly everybody your ages," he says. "I never heard
Material for medium size Is twelve and mouth Is a rosebud, that spoils It at
would make you sick," replied Cutting. tell of, and which of you is the oldest he. “you aie surely not cleverer than Harrison, a portly man. looking down a half yard» twenty-one Inches wide, once.”
"Indeed! Why?"
that surely beats me to deeide, and I that 7'
"Spoils the rosebud, you mean?”
over Ills ample proportions, replied. ten yards twenty seven Inches wide or
"An* not IT’ says Donal.
"Reciprocity, you know."—Philadel­ am in a quauriary again.
"Yes; It begins to blow immediately.”
"Yes, but when they drop us off nt a six and three-quarters yards forty-four
“Why," says the Judge, says he. rope's end some of you lightweights
phia Press.
"Blit I'll tell you what I'll do." says
—Philadelphia Ledger. ,
Inches
wide.
me jwrge. surys ne. Th give me neic "what can you do, Donal?"
will be kicking and suffering long
Th» Hoar aad It. Thoraa.
Mot So Bad For Hla>.
to whichever of you minds (remem
the Parrot the Scapegoat.
Perfectly Correct.
"Why," says Donal, says he, "I would after I’m done for.”
This Is tlie old legend of how the bers* the longest."
"Yes, I used to be In the Insurance
Biake a skin fit suit for a man and give
Father—What did the teacher »ay
The deacon was hard to convince.
rose came by Its thorn». One day lu
A Japan»«» Fs»ell*rflty.
"Well, if that's it," says Conal, ”!t’l me no more measurement than let me
when she heard you »wear? Small Boy
"No,” declared he, “I'll have no such business. I once got a man to take out
paradise Cupid was flying over a gar­ uie gets the field, for I mind the tlm< bear him cough.”
"When a Japanese servant is rebuked —She asked me where I learned IL contraption In my house. Planner» are a $50,000 policy only about a week be­
I
den of roses. Blossoming there was s when If a man tramped on a «it b<
fore he happened to be killed. He was
"Well. well, well." says the Judge, or scolded,” says a traveler, “he must Father—What did you tell her? Boy— things of evil.”
beautiful pink rose. Cupid bent to usn't to give it a kick to console ft"
says he, “the cleverness of you two smile like a Cheshire caL The eti­ I didn't want to give you away. pa. so
"Oh, but. pa,” protested his lov»ly ■ mighty hard chap to lund too. I had
kiss It when a bee bidden In the flow
quette in smiles Is very misleading at I blamed it on the parrot.—Detroit Free daughter, “this Is an upright piano!"— to talk to him for newly six months
"Well, well, well,” says the Judge boys lieats all I ever beard of.
er stung him on the lip. Crying with "that must be a long mind entirely
“Taig," says he, "poor Taig, whatev­ first. I often used to think that Takl.
before I got him.”
Pittsburg Post
pain. Cupid fled to Venus, his mother, ■ nd I'm sfnrld, Conal. you have th« er chance either of them two may have my rlksha 'boy,' meant to be lmpertl Press.
"That was tough on the company. I
demanding vengeance. Venqa. to paci­ field.”
Wo Evldeace to the Contrary.
A Deflaltloa.
for the field. I'm very, very sorry for nent when be Insisted on smiling when
suppose you regretted after It was nil •
fy Him, gave him a bow strung with
I was angry at him. But when he told
Friend—I think her mother Is a sen
"Not so quick.* says I*onal, says he you. for you have no chance."
Little Clarence—Pa, wbat la an opti­ over that your persuasive powers were
captive bees and set the stem of the “for 1 mind the time when a woman
"Don't be so very sure of that,” says me of the death of his little child with slble woman. The Lover—Well -a—I mist? Mr. Callipers—An optimist, my so g<x»d."
rose with stings torn from the poor wouldn't «peak an ill word of lice best Taig. says he.
a burst of laughter I knew that tiffs don't think she likes me. Friend -Ob. son. Is a person Who doesn’t care what
"I'm-no, I never felt sorry about it
bees. Thrse stings now are called friend.”
“Why," says the Judge, says he. was only one of the curious details of I merely said she was a sensible wo- happens if It doesn't happen ts him.— I married the widow.”—Chicago Rec­
thorns.
"Well. well well.” says the Judge "surely, Taig, you can't be as clever as etiquette tn this topsy turvy lisBd.”
mad
Puck.
ord-Herald.
O
•*
«
o
0