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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (May 22, 1902)
BANDON RECORDER. I f --------------------------- 1 Pro*« au<l Poetry, Despite the noble work done by men I so various as Kusktn and Stevenson. Pater and Newman, one feels that the full glory of prose, as a medium for beauty, was not realized by them Is not yet realized save by a few. Prose Is not yet written as frankly for Its own sake as poetry. It ought to be. Of course I do not mean that it ought not to be continued as a vehicle for every kind of didactic purpose. But It ought alse to be used by those who could well use It so for the expression of merely lyrical feeling. In modern English prose there are, it is true, many lyrical passages, but they are always sandwiched apologetically in the midst of expository writing. The only separate prose lyrics that I can re call written in English are translations from another language, such as Mr. An drew Lang's translation from Theocri tus. I recommend thnt dear little l>ook as an incentive to young writers of prose. It will emltolden them to be merely lyrical, thus hastening the day when writers of prose shall be as spe cific and distinct a class as poets are now.—Ixmdon Academy. POLLY LARKIN t_______________ J love or money, so she bravely rose to the situation. She was up with the larks and went cheerily about her work. Her family and their comfort were her chief thought, and she says she gained flesh and color on it. Polly does not know Mrs. “J. M. K.” except through her friendly letters, but I’d be willing to wager that her home is a model one and contentment and happiness must reign within the gates of a woman who thinks more of the happiness and com fort of her family than she does of the demands of society and the social func tions she would enjoy if her time was not occupied otherwise. «««« The above reminds me of the remark of a gentleman the other day, who al ways pays his help well and never re quires anythingof them but what comes within the realm of the culinary de partment. “Do you know, Polly, it is jierfectly humiliating to hire help now- a-days. We have a perfect Amazon in our kitchen. She gets her seven dollars a week, and yet not a member of the family goes into the kitchen without hearing tier doleful wail of ‘small pay for hard work.’ She has the cooking to do for six in family, and all we want is good, plain cooking, no pastries, etc. If anyone requests her to do anything, or cook meat in some other way tliau the incessant, fry, fry, fry, she slams things around generally, scowls, mut ters to herself, and doesn t mind break ing a few dishes. I wouldn't have stood it so long, but my wife is an invalid. She gets her walking papers, however, next week.” Not loug since reverses came to a family who had hitherto never thought of the cost or value of an article if they wanted it. The head of the house was earning a good salary, and the family lived up to every dollar of it. Not a cent was laid by for a rainy day. In fact it never seemed to dawn upon a single member of the family that they should ever meet with want or see any thing else but the luxurious side of life. They laughed at their friends who put something by, even though it was a small amount, every week, and accused them of being penurious, and said they might as well publish their poverty to the world as to deny themselves of trifling luxuries that they might add their dimes and cents to their rainy day fund. All this came back to them when one day the husband and father of the happy-go-lucky family was strick en with afioplexy while at ills business and was brought home dead. There was not money enough to pay for the Mnmmlra In America. funeral exjienses and relatives came to Comparatively few Americans real ize that right here In their new old their assistance. » » » » land nre to be found counterparts of After the father, who had always Egypt's great wonder—veritable cata combs of mummies as genuine as any supplied their every need with a lavish hand, was laid away, then they had to that exist In tlie land of the Nile. It is now a generally received fact face the stern realities of life. What that the so called "cliff dwellers” are they were to do was a problem. The not an unknown race at all, but our boys had never turned their hands to own peace loving Pueblo Indians, who anything that could be of any benefit in the old days built their great stone to them. They wanted to be profes houses much as we now build our BRIEF REVIEW. sional men. One attended a medical forts—for purposes of defense. college, but failing to pass the examin These wonderful stone houses, far The Passing of “Central.” up the steep cliffs of Arizona and New ation was too chagrined to attempt it A very significant innovation is a again. The other boy was still study Mexico, abound In relies of prehistoric days, not least among them being the ing in a law office, but his interest lay, telephone system ttiat does away with mummied bodies of their former occu not in the dry law books, but in the “Central." in practicable and success pants. field of athletics. The girls acknowl ful operation iu Fall Biver, Mass., is a In Peru also, at the time of its dis edged that their butterfly existence, telephone exchange providing an auto «»very by the Spaniards, the natives short and sweet though it was, had matic arrangement whereby the sub- were very skillful In the art of mum been profitless, and bitterly regretted scriber, by revolving a disc—somewhat my making. their lost opportunities. They had giv like the disk of a combination safe—un en up their lovely home, where they til it checks off' the number he wishes Mot nt All Excited. In a certain Wisconsin city lives an had lived for years and which might to call for, “rings up" the number. old German, now past eighty, who lias have been theirs had they been more Bringing the “combination" to the first for years been In the hotel business. saving and looked forward to the number in the series he wishes causes a The old gentleman is very fond of card “rainy day,” which was sure to come. switch in the “Central” exchange to playing, and pitch is his favorite game. They took a small flat, unpretentious swing to a certain group of contacts; One day a couple of years ago a party and a long distance out. Then the the next number narrows the selection was sitting aliout a table playing, nnd to a certain number of contacts in the Just as the cards bad been ileult and mother, who had hitherto turned to her group; tlie last brings it to the identi husband for everything, and had had sorted and it was up to the old gentle man to bid for the trump a lioy rushed all the cares and anxieties fall upon his cal spot required. The caller then into the office and in great excitement shoulders, bravely faced the situation pushes a button and the connection is and took upon herself the responsibili established. If the line is busy, a buzz said the barn was on tire. ing noise gives him warning. The calls Without showing the least perturba ties she had always avoided. tion the old gentleman turned to him, * » » » come iu fl st to the larger trunk lines, and the following conversation took She ¡called all the children together of course, and thus it might be ex place: when they were once settled in their pected that the apparatus would be “Did you get out the horse?” new home. “We have all got to work often busy, sinceone call would shut off' "Yes.” now,” she said cheerfully. “What are accessibility to many numliers iu the "Did you the buggy get out?” we going to do?” wailed one of the group of instruments covered by the "Yes.” daughters, “we simply don’t know any trunk line, butan ingeniouscoutrivance “Well,” turning to the players, “I bid thing.” “That is true, we don’t know causes the current to pass by the truuk three.”—Gentleman's Magazine. anything; but where there’s a will lines that are busy till it comes to one there's a way,’ and we must all find not iu use, so that the system would How Wnde llaniptoa Used Cigars. Wade Hampton never smoked cigars something todo. You girls have either fail to work only when all the truuk in a rational way like the rest of man got to get married or go to work. Y’ou lines of selectors were busy. Even kind. Instead he took the cigars as he have been engaged for a long time, then the buzzed warning would indi bought them and crushed them to pow Louise. Now you must marry at once cate that the caller would have to wait der between the palms of his hands or find something to do. Being in only until one of ten persons had fin and made use of the fragments as the old regime use snuff. The coarse bits mourning you won’t have to have much ished talking. The cost of maintain were thrown away, and in the military of a trousseau, and there is no better ing the mechanical part of the system committee room, of which lie was so time than the present for being mar lias not increased. And though it works long an occupant, there was always a ried. Talk it over with Fred and set hardships to discharged employes, the pile of cigar shavings on the tloor be the day at once. We must find some system economizes in wages, for, with side his chair. The finest cigars in the thing for you to do, Jessie, just what it the exception of necessary bookkeepers market were none too good to be treat will be I don’t know yet. Something and a few attendants to see that things ed this way, and more thnn one genu will open up soon. James there is going run on without hitches, a force of work ine cigar smoker has been moved to ex postulation as he has seen Hampton to no more baseball games and the like. l»«>ple is not required. Indeed, on Sun dispose of a tine weed in such an uncer You must settle down to hard work days and during the night while the with Blackstone, and Jack has been exchange is locked, the instruments emonious way. offered a position in Mr. B----- ’s drug continue making their connections store.” Henunnml. without supervision. Privacy is se »»•» The Scotch have a story of a little lad cured. Cheapness is secured. The au The little woman was not fitted for tomatic telephone means another step who was desperately 111, but who, for all Ills mother's pleading, refused to anything in the world, it seemed, but in the elimination of middlemen and take his medicine. The mother finally she took the motto, “where there’s a the automizing of life. gave up. "Oh, my boy will die, my will there’s a way,” home to herself boy will die!” she sobbed. "He will and profited by her own search for a Manufacture of Buttons. not take the stuff that would save home within their means when the The census bureau has issued a pre him.” lovely house they had resided in for liminary sta ementon the manufacture But presently piped up a voice from the bed. “Don't cry. mother,” It said. many years had to pass into other of buttoLS in the United States. By "Father'll be home soon, and he'll make hands. She knew what a trial it was that »bowing the number of e.-tablish- to climb wearily up one Hight of stairs lishments now engaged in that indus- me take it.” after another in search of the flat within tiy is 238 against 106 in 1890, an advance The I.tub! on the Isle ot Pharos. their means. It dawned upon her that- of 124.5 per cent; the capital invested The mwt famous lighthouse of an a profitable business could be worked is $4,212,538 against $3,411,089, an ad tiquity stood on tlie Isle of Pharos, off up by searching for flats for people the city of Alexandria. In Egypt. It looking for homes. What a world of vance of 124.5 per cent. The total was one of the seven wonders of the annoyance it would save the to have wages paid was $2,826,238 against $1,- 411,089, an advance of 100.3 per cent. world and was put up during the reign of Ptolemy Philadelphus. After stand a flat or house picked out for them. The average number of wage earners ing up 1,000 years it was destroyed by Once the idea was in her head it was employed in the year 1900 was 8685 an enrtlnp.iake. It Is understood to there to stay, and she finally rented an against 3831 ten years ago, an advance office with her daughter down town of 126.7 per cent. Including custom have beeu over 500 feet high. and entered into the business of hunt work and repairing, the value of prod ing flats, etc., for home-seekers. She ucts in the last census year was $7,695,- A Clever Retort. A legal dignitary who had risen from had charge of the office while her daugh 910 against $4,216,795, an advance of a huntole rank of life was twitted by ter attended to the outside work. Their an opponent for “having begun life as business has grown to such an extent 85.5 per cent' a barber’s boy.” “It is true that I did that they now keep a horse and buggy, so.” was the answer, "and if you had Guarding the French President. begun in a similar station you would and they not only deal in flat-hunting, President Loubet is well protect«!. but have enter«! tlie real estate business have remained there till the present in earnest and have disposed of several His secret guard consists of twelve men, day.”_______________ pieces of valuable property at a good under the orders of a police commis Cultivation. profit for themselves. There is a moral sioner. These men watch constantly “I suppose you hope to make a very in this true bit of family life. It is this: over his person. When he receives cultivated young man of your boy Lay something aside for a rainy day. they mingle with the guests close by Josh.” And there is something else. It shows him, and when he goes out they follow "Yes.” answered Farmer C'orntossel. that women can rise to the emergency him, and have orders never to lose him "We're cultivatin’ him the best we can. an instant from view. When he drives when the occasion demands it. Every now nnd then mother and me they accompany him on bicycles, and «««« gives him a rakin’ over.”—Washington it is only then that they can be recog I told you last week that Mrs. “ J. M. Star. K.” of El Dorado county had solved nized. This guard of thirteen men The Wltnesn. the "servant problem.” In a nice, alone costs the state tlie nice little sum Judge—Do you think the Are was of long, friendly letter she announces how of 75,000 francs a year. incendiary origin? she has settled the perplexingquestion. Witness—I wouldn't like to say that, Close your book of life with chan your honor. To tell you th’ truth, I be Blie says: “I have read your letter on pages. Your children and your friends the ‘ Servant Problem. ’ There is one lieve th' building was set on Are.—Ohio way to solve it and be independent, and will be proud to look it through and re State Journal. that is, do your work yourselves.” She fer to it. The volume left by Washing rises early, dresses herself for her work ton is a sacred book and will be read for An Intere.tlns Problem. and then starts the machinery that thousands of years yet to come. A celebrated explorer was the lion of the evening nt n certain party. His keeps everything moving serenely in There is a lot of solid «location in the hostess said to him, "What is the most the domestic circle. She owns that it is Interesting problem of a north pole ex sometimes hard on the body, rough on ability to write readable English in a the hands, and occasionally it ruffles - readable hand. It is far more severice- pedition?” “To get back home,” was the an the temper, but there is a consoling able than the ability to solve a quad swer.—Woman's Home Companion. thought—the work is going along, help ratic «|uation. or no help. Mrs. “J. M. K.” likens the A Mriunrp of Time. work of the home to Tennyson’s Brook, Defend the innocent when they are The Pupil—It seemed to me I must “It must go on forever.” assail«! in your presence. hare practiced all of two hours. «««« The Professor—But I'm sure you did Holding office often spoils men for Mrs. “J. M. K.” is speaking from not. If you had practiced two hours. It experience. Help could not be had for he active push and hard work of life. would have seemed like six —Fuck. TO TELL GOOD CIGARS. Jad<e* ot Their Fine Point* Few nnd Far Between. The judges of good cigars In this «»untry are few and far between, says an expert. The great difficulty with tlie |>«>ple who think they know cigars is that they lay too much stress on the color of the weed. The color makes not the slightest difference, and you are just as likely to find one of the rankest kind of cigars with the deep black col or of the genuine Havana as you are to find a bad one among those that are yellow as straw. The best way to tell a cigar is by the feel of It. Take a cigar in your hands and give it a gentle pressure, holding it close to the ear. If the cigar is a good one, it will be Just the least little bit flexible, and the Angers will sink into the wrapper. It gives forth no perceptible sound. If the cigar Is hard and close roll«l and when placed to the ear sounds as though you were pressing straw together, beware. The best cigars are made of the same leaf us the wrapper and are closely rolled. Th<‘ common cigars are what Is known us tilled and contain all kinds of refuse from the tables where the good cigars are made. There are some tilled cigars that are good smokes, but you seldom find a Havana or n Manila or good Cu ban or Key West smoke that Is not rolled. Many people who go into a ci gar store to get an imported smoke do not follow up the sidesman when he takes the cigars from the case and are consequently often fooled. They are given domestic brands and are charg ed imported prices for them. These "good cigar judges” cannot tell the difference when there is all tin* difference In the world. If you must have an Imported smoke, make the clerk hand you the box and look close ly at the revenue stamp. The stamps on domestic goods are green and white, while those on the Imported boxes are all yellow and white. Look into the next cigar eases you see before pur chasing an imported cigar. If they have no boxes in the case to which is attached a yellow and white stamp, don’t attempt to make a purchase. The clerk will sell you a cigar he calls im ported, but it will not be the real ar ticle.—Washington Post. PICKINGS FROM FICTION. A thousand times better are the men who do than the weaklings who only know.—“God Wills It.” I've burned out the candle o’ the Lord’s mercy an' blowed the ashes in his face.—“The Sign of the Prophet.” It is as bad to slave at work as to slave at pleasure, but God may forgive what people cannot help.—“Lazarre.” Nature works not for man’s enjoy ment, but for her own satisfaction and her own glory.—“Our National Parks.” Time has kindlier uses for his scythe than cutting short human lives. Ills chief use of it is to cut off the tops of human memories.—“The Usurper.” To really enjoy the holidays one should have money, uncounted money, In a coal scuttle, let us say, with a con venient little tire shovel close at band. —“The Last of the Knickerbockers.” Lovers of love are not lovers only. They are artists in emotion, always in quest of a still more subtle sensation, a Joy more intense, a grief more bitter, and are unable to remain faithful to a monotonous fidelity, a tender constan cy.—“The Screen." Wbnt Grant Saw In Canada. Lord Dufferin when viceroy of Cana da paid a visit to Washington while General Grant was president. He cas ually asked the president whether he had ever been in Canada. The reply was a striking example of General Grant’s brusque outspoken ness, “No; 1 have never set foot on Ca nadian soil, but I have approached near enough to its shores in a steam boat to see the grass growing in the streets of the Canadian towns.” Lord Dufferin saw that General Grant shared with many of his coun trymen at that time a common misap prehension in regard to the resources and destinies of Canada. — London News. Her Opnortnnlty. “Mrs. Weeds,” said Mr. Binks, “I asked your daughter to marry me. and she referred me to you." “I’m sure that’s very kind of Susie; but, then, she always was a dutiful girl. Really, Mr. Binks, I hadn't thought of marrying again at my time of life, but since you insist suppose we make the wedding day the 20th of this month.”—New York Press. A Temperance Story. “You seem rather hilarious today,’ the lathe remarked to the bnzzsaw. "Yes,” replied the buzzsaw; “the man who runs me brought some whis ky into the shop with him a little while ago.” “Well?” “Well, I took two or three fingers at Ids expense.”—Philadelphia Press. Vonns Doctor'* Meed ot Haate. “Yes,” said the old doctor; “yon should try to have your own carriage, by all means, because when you want to get to a patient quickly”— “Oh.” interrupted the young M. D.. “I don’t think any patient who sent for me would be likely to die before I reached him.” “No, but he might recover before you got there.”—Philadelphia Press. Cnrelea* Parent*. "Why don't you make a name for yourself?” asked the serious person. “I only wish I had had the chance,” said the pale young man, “but my par ents thought they knew it all. and they made up one of their own, and that’s why I am compelled to struggle against fate under the handicap of Reginald Claude de Vere Smithers.”—Washing ton Star. Hl* War. Sabbath School Teacher—When tery angry, what should you do? Johnny Thickneck—Knock the other feller down, sit on his head and then count 200. That’s the only safe way ma'am.—Judge. Comforting. I’ntlent— Doctor, what is the effect of that medicine you just gave me? Physician—I don’t know, but in the Interests of science I feel It my duty to stay and And out—Ohio State Jour nal. PRETTY DISTRUSTFUL. INOCULATION IN ENGLAND. WHY WE EAT SOME FOODS. A Case Where Suspicion Might Be Carried Too Far. It Wa* l ady Mary Wortley Maatasa Wlio Introduced It. It I* Mot Alone That We Like Them, but Mature Demand* Them. It was Lady Mary Wortley Montagu who first introduced inoculation for smallpox in England. While residing in Belgrade In 1717 she saw the Turks practice "engrafting,” as they called it. to produce a mild form of smallpox and stay its ravages. She examined the process mid. being convinced of its efficacy, applied It to her three-year old son. On her return to England she introduced It In London. At that time it wus computed that one person in ev ery seven died of the smallpox. Yet she was op)K»H«l by the entire m«licnl faculty. By order of government an experiment was made upon five per sons then under sentence of death, and It proved perfectly successful. But Instead of Lady Mary being ac knowledged as a public benefactor she was persecuted with the most re lentless hostility. The faculty rose to a man against her. Even the clergy descanted on tlie awful impiety of seek ing to take events out of the hands of Providence. Tlie common people were urged to hoot her as an unnatural moth er who had risked the lives of her own children. However, the Princess of Wales, afterward Queen Caroline, stood her friend, and truth and reason finally prevailed. It was about the year 1752 that Lady Montagu was honored by a monument erect«l to commemorate England's gratitude to her for intro ducing inoculation. T»r. Edward Jenner substituted cow pox inoculation in 1799. He lived to ffe rewarded by parliament by a grant of and later by a second grant of £20,000, and In 1858 a statue was erected to him in London. Only a bare credit was vouchsafed to Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, who bore all the per secution without any of the pecuniary Mnperwtitlonn About Hables. reward she was eutitl«! to and by uo The Manx people believe that it will means a fair share of the glory. dwarf or wizen a baby If any one steps over it or walks around it. In some A Chicago Te«»er. parts of England people bind the in A Chicago man who lives in Goethe fant's right hand, so that it may have street gets off the car at Schiller street, riches when It grows up. In York two blocks away, because no conductor shire n newborn babe is placed in a can understand Ids pronunciation of maiden's arms before being touched by Goethe. “I bad practiced on the pro any one else in order to insure good nunciation for a week,” he says, "and I luck. had the sound of the ‘umlaut’ down in South America a book, a piece of fine. I sprung it on the conductor the money ano a hottie of liquor are placed first evening. He looked at me blank before the infant the day it Is one year ly mid replied, ‘Huh?’ I repeated it old to ascertain Its bent In life. once or twice, and finally a great light in Scotland a baby is considered lucky if It handles its spoon with its broke over him. ‘Oh, yes; you mean left hand, and it will be perfectly hap Go-tlie. Why didn't you say so?’ “The next evening the conductor call py and successful if it has a number ed it Go-eetli. The third time up It was of falls before its first birthday. In the n I'tli of England, when a child Is Go-e-the. Then there was a raw Irish taken from a house for the first time, man In charge of one of the trains who It is given an egg. some salt and a spoke of It us Go-tay. with the accent small loaf of bread and occasionally a on the last syllable. One morning 1 small piece of money to insure it left an order for my wife at the gro cer’s. lie looked at me In silence for a against coming to want. minute after I bad given our address. ‘Oh, yes.’ he said; ‘you mean Gertie How Oriental People Wash. street.' The butcher calls it Gaytie, the "European tourists in the east,” said laundryman pronounces It Gay-tlih, il traveler, "have before uow remarked and the man who delivers coal alludes on the various degrees of dirtiness manifested by the oriental races. But to it as Gotli street. “I have a woman friend who prides their dirtiness is not only to be differen herself on her culture who speaks feel tiated in degree, but also in kind. Your ingly of Gutter street. But the devoted only partially civilized man is clean in spots. Civilization might be measured thoroughfare doesn’t really ‘get It In the neck’ until you bear the janitor by tlie size nnd number of the spots un til, in the perfect civilization, I sup talk. He calls It Goitre.” pose. it will be all clean spot But dif Entrll*h Free School Role*, 1734, ferent races put the spots in different Imprimis, Whatsoever Boy comes tfl places; so, observing this, there has School past 7 o’ th’ Clock In the Morn grown up a saying among the Euro ing In Summer time and past 8 o’ th’ peans in the east that the Chinese wash clock In ye Winter time [without Shew their clothes, but not themselves; the ing good reason] Shall receive 3 Lash Japanese wash themselves, but not es. their clothes, and tlie Koreans wash Item. Whosoever absents himself neither. Were there nothing else to from School, Either by Truantry, by Judge by, it might be a pretty question trying to stay at home, or otherwise; whether tlie Chinese or the Japanese Shall iucurr his Muster’s highest dis are the more civilized.” pleasure, Suffer the hissing and Scoff ing of ye whole School, Tarry behind ' ■-rxBse Tsrs--.. tlie Rest one hour at Night for a week, In “Tlie Book of tlie Rifle” the Hon. mid besides las a suitable Reward for T. F. Freemantle tells the following his —) shall suffer 12 Lashes. amusing story apropos of accidents to Item. Whatsoever Boy shall at any markers: time Curse, Swear, or take the Lord's “Sir Henry Halford on one occasion Name in vain, Shall assuredly suffer —It was not it very clear day—was for such offence, 15 Lashes. about to liegin shooting at 1,000 yards Item, What Boy soever addicts him and, thinking that the marker must self to Obscene Talking or foolish Jest now lie ready for him to liegin, asked ing. shall Suffer for each such Trans him through the telephone, ‘Are you gression. all right?’ Tlie marker replied, “All Item, What Boy soever absents him right, sir. in a minute;' but, unluckily, self from the Service of Almighty God Sir Henry took ‘All right, sir,’ instead on the Sabbath day, and spends that of the whole sentence and removed the Day in n wicked man'er In playing & telephone from his ear. He lay down running about. Shall receive 20 Lashes. and fired his shot, and on looking Item. Whosoever steals from or de through the telescope th see where it frauds his School-fellow of Ink, Pens, had hit was horrified to see the marker Paper. Quills, or any Other Thing with a perfectly white face staggering Whatsoever, Shall certainly, when toward Ills shelter. He was intensely found out and detected, receive 9 Lash alarmed, and in a moment there came es.— Notes and Queries. a ring at the telephone. ‘Wbat has happened? Are you badly hurt?’ ‘No, The Reporter’* Revenge. sir, I am not hurt; but I had a bucket “Do you see that man?” of whitewash between my legs paint And I observed a rather lonesome ing the target, and you put a bullet into person wandering aimlessly about the il and splashed it all up in my face.’ ” capitol. Regret was stamped upon his face, and his whole attitude was that The Last Straw. 1 of a man who had tried and failed and Mrs. Muggins—My busband is a per who had no intention of every trying fect crank. again. Mrs. Buggins—All busbands are, my “Well, that is a former representative dear. who called the correspondent of the Mrs. Muggins—But fancy a man who lending paper in his district a liar. The complains that my mustard plasters correspondent did not pursue the ordi nre not as strong as those his mother nary method of retaliation by attack used to make!— Philadelphia Record. ing him in liis articles whenever op portunity offered. He simply refused No Women Admitted. for two years to mention his name in Maiwntchln, on tlie borders of Rus- his correspondence. The people at home eia, is the only city in the world peo began to wonder what they sent a pled by men only. The Chinese women man to congress for anyway and final are not onlt forbidden to live in this ly came to the conclusion that a repre territory, but even to pass the great sentative who could not get his name wall of Kalkan and enter into Mongo in the paper could not be ot much ac lia. All the Chinese of thia border city count in Washington. It took 1,400 bal nre exclusively traders. lots to beat him when he came up for renomination, but they did It all right.” Gloomy Even Then. — Washington Cor. New York Herald. Hook—BJones is the most melancholy Attentive to the Duties. fellow I know. Nye—That's right. He proposed to a "Yes, I’m due of the trustees of the girl once by asking her bow she would proposed gallery of art.” like to be ids widow.—San Francisco "What have you done so far?” “So far? Why, we've eaten three an Chronicle. nual dinners and are preparing for a Hl* Scheme, fourth.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Friend—Why do you wenr those fear Mot Good Enough, fully old fashioned collars? Winkers (si man of affairs!—Because Mr. Nucomer—I found a china collar when tlie washerwoman sends them to button in the hash this morning, and— anybody else they send them back. Landlady—Nora, bring a gold plated button for Mr. Nucomer. Remember he Is on the second floor.—Sau Francls- Anticipated. Stern Parent—I suppose you are co Chronicle. aware, young man. that l cease to pro Mn Reason For Delay. vide for my daughter when she leaves “My darling." he exclaimed, “I would my roof? go to the end of tlie earth for you." Suitor—Oh, yea! We have Battled There was n slight pause while the or about that—Bertha nnd I. We have de chestra played tremulous ragtime. cided to make our home with you.— “SuppooB,” she said, "you begin yoirr Boston Transcript travel* now.”—Pittsburg Dispatch- “1 told the postmaster of a town at the foot of the Cumberland mountains that I proposed a two weeks’ trip among the sights and scenes of the big bills,” said a Detroiter who roams all over the country, “and asked him If he couldn’t give me n writing of some sort that would be a safe conduct in case I met with moonshiners. ‘"Yes; I could write something, but I’m a fen red it would do no good,’ he replied. 'They might read the letter anil know I wrote it. but they’d still be suspicious.’ “ 'Suspicious of what?’ “ 'Suspicious that you was a spy. They’d be so suspicious that they'd probably draw you up to a limb with a rope around your neck and let you hang for a minlt.’ “ 'Then they’d let me down and be lieve I was all right, wouldn’t they?’ “ 'I’m afeared not. I’m afeared they’d still be suspicious of you.’ “ ‘Suspicious of what?’ “'Suspicious that you was a revenoo man. Then they'd draw you up again, and it might be two ininits befo’ they let you down this time. Two minits Is a purty long ttme to be kickin' and chokin’.’ “ 'But they would Unally let me down?’ I asked. “ ‘Yes; I reckon so.’ “ ‘And be convinced that I was no revenue man?’ “ ‘Yes; they might, but that wouldn’t end it. They'd still be suspicious.’ “ ‘Of what?' “ ‘That you was a blamed fule fur bein’ up tbar at all, and this time they’d pull you up and leave you hang In' fur the best part of a week.’ ”—De trolt Free Press. Why do you take milk in your tea? Most persons would answer because they liked it that way. but the eclen- tints have found a deeper reason, plac ing the custom on purely scientific grounds. These learned ones discourse as follows: We use sugar in our tea to prevent injury to the coatings of our stomachs. Whenever tannic acid and albumen meet, they fall desperately In love with each other, get married with out bans and live together ever after ward as tannate of albumen, or loath er. Now. there is tannic acid in tea and a lot of albumen in the coating of the stomach. The tannic acid weds as much of this as is allowed by the laws of chemistry and so far Injures the stomach. But milk also contains albumen. Win n milk is added to tea, therefore, the molecules of tannic acid select their albumen partners from it, and as a divorce is unknown to tannate of al tinmen the albumen of the stomach re mains single, and so the lining of the stomach is uninjured. Now, you may imagine that when you mix a salad dressing you put vin- eg r in it because it tastes better made that way. but you are wrong ngaiu. It Is for a chemical reason, which is as follows: Raw vegetables are easily enough di gested by cows and horses, but with difficulty by the human stomach, be cause they contain that hard, fibrous substance cellulose. But acids dissolve cellulose, and vinegar is an acid. That is why we take it with salad and cab bage, and doubtless that is why It tastes so well, for the palate is an ex cellent Judge of what is good for the stomach. Oil is added for the very good reason that it protects the lining of the stomach from the action of the acid In the vinegar. Why do we take butter on bread? Partly because wheaten flour does not contain enough fat and partly because butter contains a trifling quantity of substances called “extractives,” which In some unknown way stimulate the appetite and aid digestion. Why do we take pepper, mustard and spices? Because they tickle the glands of the stomach and make them work. Consequently they produce an abun dant supply of digestive juices. They also stir up the liver, and a stirring up of this organ is an important thing for people who live sedentary lives. Why do we put salt on our meat? Why, there are two principal salts in our body, and their supply has to be kept up. They are sodium salts and potassium salts. There is sufficient of tlie latter in the food we eat, but not of tlie former. We therefore have to add tlie sodium salts in the form of common salt, which is sodium chloride. Anoth er reason why we ent common salt is that a certain amount of hydrochloric acid is needed by the stomach for the purposes of digestion anil also to kill off some of tlie microbes we swallow. This acid is manufactured in the stom ach from hydrogen and the chlorine of common salt. We take more salt witli some meats than with others be cause some naturally contain less salt than others. So by our condiments we seek to even up things.—New York Press. Men and Women In Sleeping Carl. “It would surprise you to know that n heavy per cent of the persons who travel on sleeping cars make no effort to disrobe before they retire,” said a conductor who runs between New Orleans and Chicago. "They simply roll In witli boots, spurs and all. They do not seem to know that a berth on n sleeping car is just the same as a bed In a private home except in size. Some of them will pull off their coats and collars. Some of them will slip their slioes iroiii tl.eir feet. There are many, of course, who are used to traveling and who go in for a good night's sleep. "With women It is different. You can never catch u woman so Indifferent to comfort and cleanliness In this re spect. She will pull her shoes off ev ery time.”—New Orleans Times-Demo- crat. ______________ Her View ot It. "With the aid of this little book,” said tlie canvasser as he produced a “Mother’s Guide” for the inspection of his victim, "you will be able to bring up your children properly.” She took the book and weighed it thoughtfully in her hand. Then sb" caught it by the edge mid brought It down on the palm of her hand as if to see if it could be handled with ease and dexterity. “Oh, I don't know,” she said nt last. "I can't see that it's any better for that purpose than a slipper.”—Brooklyn Ea gle. _ _____ An Unnnuul Contribution. A number of years ago Mr. and Mra Leland Stanford were traveling through tlie middle west incognito. They hap pened to lie in Bloomington, Ind., one Sunday and. pursuant to their usual custom, went to church. They attend ed the Christian church of Blooming ton. tlien largely in the hands of Amzl Atwater. When tlie plate was passed for tlie collection, Mrs. Stanford drop ped in a ten dollar goldpicce. Mr. At water was the deacon in charge of the collection taking. It was noticed that tlie ushers held a hurried conference witli him when the money was taken forward. At its conclusion Mr. Atwater said. “Ladles and gentlemen, there has evi dently been a mistake. Some one has dropped a ten dollar goidplece into the collection. If lie will pass up after the services, we will lie glad to allow him to exchange it for the amount he in tended to give.” It is. of course, needless to say that Mrs. Stanford did not take advantage of the opportunity. Flrat Fruit*. Kindergartner—Children, this morn ing I have a surprise for you. I have brought a lovely big rubber plant for us to have in our room, nnd every day we will water it and— Grade—Oh. Miss H., can i I have tlie first pair of rubber«?—Chicago Trib une. —————————--- — , The Meiiencer Boy, “Why Is It that one can never got a bright, reliable and speedy messen ger?” “De company don't pay dat kind of wages, ma'am.”— Indianapolis News.
