BANDON RECORDER.
I f --------------------------- 1
Pro*« au<l Poetry,
Despite the noble work done by men I
so various as Kusktn and Stevenson.
Pater and Newman, one feels that the
full glory of prose, as a medium for
beauty, was not realized by them Is
not yet realized save by a few. Prose
Is not yet written as frankly for Its
own sake as poetry. It ought to be.
Of course I do not mean that it ought
not to be continued as a vehicle for
every kind of didactic purpose. But It
ought alse to be used by those who
could well use It so for the expression
of merely lyrical feeling.
In modern English prose there are, it
is true, many lyrical passages, but they
are always sandwiched apologetically
in the midst of expository writing. The
only separate prose lyrics that I can re
call written in English are translations
from another language, such as Mr. An
drew Lang's translation from Theocri
tus. I recommend thnt dear little l>ook
as an incentive to young writers of
prose. It will emltolden them to be
merely lyrical, thus hastening the day
when writers of prose shall be as spe
cific and distinct a class as poets are
now.—Ixmdon Academy.
POLLY LARKIN
t_______________ J
love or money, so she bravely rose to
the situation. She was up with the
larks and went cheerily about her work.
Her family and their comfort were her
chief thought, and she says she gained
flesh and color on it. Polly does not
know Mrs. “J. M. K.” except through
her friendly letters, but I’d be willing
to wager that her home is a model one
and contentment and happiness must
reign within the gates of a woman who
thinks more of the happiness and com
fort of her family than she does of the
demands of society and the social func
tions she would enjoy if her time was
not occupied otherwise.
««««
The above reminds me of the remark
of a gentleman the other day, who al
ways pays his help well and never re
quires anythingof them but what comes
within the realm of the culinary de
partment. “Do you know, Polly, it is
jierfectly humiliating to hire help now-
a-days. We have a perfect Amazon in
our kitchen. She gets her seven dollars
a week, and yet not a member of the
family goes into the kitchen without
hearing tier doleful wail of ‘small pay
for hard work.’ She has the cooking
to do for six in family, and all we want
is good, plain cooking, no pastries, etc.
If anyone requests her to do anything,
or cook meat in some other way tliau
the incessant, fry, fry, fry, she slams
things around generally, scowls, mut
ters to herself, and doesn t mind break
ing a few dishes. I wouldn't have stood
it so long, but my wife is an invalid.
She gets her walking papers, however,
next week.”
Not loug since reverses came to a
family who had hitherto never thought
of the cost or value of an article if they
wanted it. The head of the house was
earning a good salary, and the family
lived up to every dollar of it. Not a
cent was laid by for a rainy day. In
fact it never seemed to dawn upon a
single member of the family that they
should ever meet with want or see any
thing else but the luxurious side of life.
They laughed at their friends who put
something by, even though it was a
small amount, every week, and accused
them of being penurious, and said they
might as well publish their poverty to
the world as to deny themselves of
trifling luxuries that they might add
their dimes and cents to their rainy day
fund. All this came back to them
when one day the husband and father
of the happy-go-lucky family was strick
en with afioplexy while at ills business
and was brought home dead. There
was not money enough to pay for the
Mnmmlra In America.
funeral exjienses and relatives came to
Comparatively few Americans real
ize that right here In their new old their assistance.
» » » »
land nre to be found counterparts of
After the father, who had always
Egypt's great wonder—veritable cata
combs of mummies as genuine as any supplied their every need with a lavish
hand, was laid away, then they had to
that exist In tlie land of the Nile.
It is now a generally received fact face the stern realities of life. What
that the so called "cliff dwellers” are they were to do was a problem. The
not an unknown race at all, but our boys had never turned their hands to
own peace loving Pueblo Indians, who anything that could be of any benefit
in the old days built their great stone to them. They wanted to be profes
houses much as we now build our
BRIEF REVIEW.
sional men. One attended a medical
forts—for purposes of defense.
college,
but
failing
to
pass
the
examin
These wonderful stone houses, far
The Passing of “Central.”
up the steep cliffs of Arizona and New ation was too chagrined to attempt it
A
very
significant innovation is a
again.
The
other
boy
was
still
study
Mexico, abound In relies of prehistoric
days, not least among them being the ing in a law office, but his interest lay, telephone system ttiat does away with
mummied bodies of their former occu not in the dry law books, but in the “Central." in practicable and success
pants.
field of athletics. The girls acknowl ful operation iu Fall Biver, Mass., is a
In Peru also, at the time of its dis edged that their butterfly existence, telephone exchange providing an auto
«»very by the Spaniards, the natives short and sweet though it was, had matic arrangement whereby the sub-
were very skillful In the art of mum
been profitless, and bitterly regretted scriber, by revolving a disc—somewhat
my making.
their lost opportunities. They had giv like the disk of a combination safe—un
en up their lovely home, where they til it checks off' the number he wishes
Mot nt All Excited.
In a certain Wisconsin city lives an had lived for years and which might to call for, “rings up" the number.
old German, now past eighty, who lias have been theirs had they been more Bringing the “combination" to the first
for years been In the hotel business. saving and looked forward to the number in the series he wishes causes a
The old gentleman is very fond of card “rainy day,” which was sure to come. switch in the “Central” exchange to
playing, and pitch is his favorite game. They took a small flat, unpretentious swing to a certain group of contacts;
One day a couple of years ago a party and a long distance out. Then the the next number narrows the selection
was sitting aliout a table playing, nnd
to a certain number of contacts in the
Just as the cards bad been ileult and mother, who had hitherto turned to her group; tlie last brings it to the identi
husband
for
everything,
and
had
had
sorted and it was up to the old gentle
man to bid for the trump a lioy rushed all the cares and anxieties fall upon his cal spot required. The caller then
into the office and in great excitement shoulders, bravely faced the situation pushes a button and the connection is
and took upon herself the responsibili established. If the line is busy, a buzz
said the barn was on tire.
ing noise gives him warning. The calls
Without showing the least perturba ties she had always avoided.
tion the old gentleman turned to him,
* » » »
come iu fl st to the larger trunk lines,
and the following conversation took
She ¡called all the children together of course, and thus it might be ex
place:
when they were once settled in their pected that the apparatus would be
“Did you get out the horse?”
new home. “We have all got to work often busy, sinceone call would shut off'
"Yes.”
now,” she said cheerfully. “What are accessibility to many numliers iu the
"Did you the buggy get out?”
we going to do?” wailed one of the group of instruments covered by the
"Yes.”
daughters,
“we simply don’t know any trunk line, butan ingeniouscoutrivance
“Well,” turning to the players, “I bid
thing.” “That is true, we don’t know causes the current to pass by the truuk
three.”—Gentleman's Magazine.
anything; but where there’s a will lines that are busy till it comes to one
there's a way,’ and we must all find not iu use, so that the system would
How Wnde llaniptoa Used Cigars.
Wade Hampton never smoked cigars something todo. You girls have either fail to work only when all the truuk
in a rational way like the rest of man got to get married or go to work. Y’ou lines of selectors were busy. Even
kind. Instead he took the cigars as he have been engaged for a long time, then the buzzed warning would indi
bought them and crushed them to pow Louise. Now you must marry at once cate that the caller would have to wait
der between the palms of his hands or find something to do. Being in
only until one of ten persons had fin
and made use of the fragments as the
old regime use snuff. The coarse bits mourning you won’t have to have much ished talking. The cost of maintain
were thrown away, and in the military of a trousseau, and there is no better ing the mechanical part of the system
committee room, of which lie was so time than the present for being mar lias not increased. And though it works
long an occupant, there was always a ried. Talk it over with Fred and set hardships to discharged employes, the
pile of cigar shavings on the tloor be the day at once. We must find some system economizes in wages, for, with
side his chair. The finest cigars in the thing for you to do, Jessie, just what it the exception of necessary bookkeepers
market were none too good to be treat will be I don’t know yet. Something and a few attendants to see that things
ed this way, and more thnn one genu will open up soon. James there is going run on without hitches, a force of work
ine cigar smoker has been moved to ex
postulation as he has seen Hampton to no more baseball games and the like. l»«>ple is not required. Indeed, on Sun
dispose of a tine weed in such an uncer You must settle down to hard work days and during the night while the
with Blackstone, and Jack has been exchange is locked, the instruments
emonious way.
offered a position in Mr. B----- ’s drug continue making their connections
store.”
Henunnml.
without supervision. Privacy is se
»»•»
The Scotch have a story of a little lad
cured. Cheapness is secured. The au
The little woman was not fitted for tomatic telephone means another step
who was desperately 111, but who, for
all Ills mother's pleading, refused to anything in the world, it seemed, but in the elimination of middlemen and
take his medicine. The mother finally she took the motto, “where there’s a the automizing of life.
gave up. "Oh, my boy will die, my will there’s a way,” home to herself
boy will die!” she sobbed. "He will and profited by her own search for a
Manufacture of Buttons.
not take the stuff that would save home within their means when the
The census bureau has issued a pre
him.”
lovely house they had resided in for liminary sta ementon the manufacture
But presently piped up a voice from
the bed. “Don't cry. mother,” It said. many years had to pass into other of buttoLS in the United States. By
"Father'll be home soon, and he'll make hands. She knew what a trial it was that »bowing the number of e.-tablish-
to climb wearily up one Hight of stairs lishments now engaged in that indus-
me take it.”
after another in search of the flat within tiy is 238 against 106 in 1890, an advance
The I.tub! on the Isle ot Pharos.
their means. It dawned upon her that- of 124.5 per cent; the capital invested
The mwt famous lighthouse of an a profitable business could be worked is $4,212,538 against $3,411,089, an ad
tiquity stood on tlie Isle of Pharos, off up by searching for flats for people
the city of Alexandria. In Egypt. It looking for homes. What a world of vance of 124.5 per cent. The total
was one of the seven wonders of the annoyance it would save the to have wages paid was $2,826,238 against $1,-
411,089, an advance of 100.3 per cent.
world and was put up during the reign
of Ptolemy Philadelphus. After stand a flat or house picked out for them. The average number of wage earners
ing up 1,000 years it was destroyed by Once the idea was in her head it was employed in the year 1900 was 8685
an enrtlnp.iake. It Is understood to there to stay, and she finally rented an against 3831 ten years ago, an advance
office with her daughter down town of 126.7 per cent. Including custom
have beeu over 500 feet high.
and entered into the business of hunt work and repairing, the value of prod
ing flats, etc., for home-seekers. She ucts in the last census year was $7,695,-
A Clever Retort.
A legal dignitary who had risen from had charge of the office while her daugh 910 against $4,216,795, an advance of
a huntole rank of life was twitted by ter attended to the outside work. Their
an opponent for “having begun life as business has grown to such an extent 85.5 per cent'
a barber’s boy.” “It is true that I did that they now keep a horse and buggy,
so.” was the answer, "and if you had
Guarding the French President.
begun in a similar station you would and they not only deal in flat-hunting,
President Loubet is well protect«!.
but
have
enter«!
tlie
real
estate
business
have remained there till the present
in earnest and have disposed of several His secret guard consists of twelve men,
day.”_______________
pieces of valuable property at a good under the orders of a police commis
Cultivation.
profit for themselves. There is a moral sioner. These men watch constantly
“I suppose you hope to make a very in this true bit of family life. It is this: over his person. When he receives
cultivated young man of your boy Lay something aside for a rainy day. they mingle with the guests close by
Josh.”
And there is something else. It shows him, and when he goes out they follow
"Yes.” answered Farmer C'orntossel.
that
women can rise to the emergency him, and have orders never to lose him
"We're cultivatin’ him the best we can.
an instant from view. When he drives
when
the occasion demands it.
Every now nnd then mother and me
they accompany him on bicycles, and
««««
gives him a rakin’ over.”—Washington
it is only then that they can be recog
I
told
you
last
week
that
Mrs.
“
J.
M.
Star.
K.” of El Dorado county had solved nized. This guard of thirteen men
The Wltnesn.
the "servant problem.” In a nice, alone costs the state tlie nice little sum
Judge—Do you think the Are was of long, friendly letter she announces how of 75,000 francs a year.
incendiary origin?
she has settled the perplexingquestion.
Witness—I wouldn't like to say that,
Close your book of life with chan
your honor. To tell you th’ truth, I be Blie says: “I have read your letter on pages. Your children and your friends
the
‘
Servant
Problem.
’
There
is
one
lieve th' building was set on Are.—Ohio
way to solve it and be independent, and will be proud to look it through and re
State Journal.
that is, do your work yourselves.” She fer to it. The volume left by Washing
rises early, dresses herself for her work ton is a sacred book and will be read for
An Intere.tlns Problem.
and then starts the machinery that thousands of years yet to come.
A celebrated explorer was the lion of
the evening nt n certain party. His keeps everything moving serenely in
There is a lot of solid «location in the
hostess said to him, "What is the most the domestic circle. She owns that it is
Interesting problem of a north pole ex sometimes hard on the body, rough on ability to write readable English in a
the hands, and occasionally it ruffles - readable hand. It is far more severice-
pedition?”
“To get back home,” was the an the temper, but there is a consoling able than the ability to solve a quad
swer.—Woman's Home Companion.
thought—the work is going along, help ratic «|uation.
or no help. Mrs. “J. M. K.” likens the
A Mriunrp of Time.
work of the home to Tennyson’s Brook,
Defend the innocent when they are
The Pupil—It seemed to me I must “It must go on forever.”
assail«! in your presence.
hare practiced all of two hours.
««««
The Professor—But I'm sure you did
Holding office often spoils men for
Mrs. “J. M. K.” is speaking from
not. If you had practiced two hours. It
experience. Help could not be had for he active push and hard work of life.
would have seemed like six —Fuck.
TO TELL GOOD CIGARS.
Jad<e*
ot Their Fine Point* Few
nnd Far Between.
The judges of good cigars In this
«»untry are few and far between, says
an expert. The great difficulty with
tlie |>«>ple who think they know cigars
is that they lay too much stress on the
color of the weed. The color makes not
the slightest difference, and you are
just as likely to find one of the rankest
kind of cigars with the deep black col
or of the genuine Havana as you are
to find a bad one among those that are
yellow as straw.
The best way to tell a cigar is by
the feel of It. Take a cigar in your
hands and give it a gentle pressure,
holding it close to the ear. If the cigar
is a good one, it will be Just the least
little bit flexible, and the Angers will
sink into the wrapper. It gives forth
no perceptible sound. If the cigar Is
hard and close roll«l and when placed
to the ear sounds as though you were
pressing straw together, beware. The
best cigars are made of the same leaf
us the wrapper and are closely rolled.
Th<‘ common cigars are what Is known
us tilled and contain all kinds of refuse
from the tables where the good cigars
are made. There are some tilled cigars
that are good smokes, but you seldom
find a Havana or n Manila or good Cu
ban or Key West smoke that Is not
rolled. Many people who go into a ci
gar store to get an imported smoke do
not follow up the sidesman when he
takes the cigars from the case and are
consequently often fooled. They are
given domestic brands and are charg
ed imported prices for them.
These "good cigar judges” cannot
tell the difference when there is all
tin* difference In the world. If you must
have an Imported smoke, make the
clerk hand you the box and look close
ly at the revenue stamp. The stamps
on domestic goods are green and white,
while those on the Imported boxes are
all yellow and white. Look into the
next cigar eases you see before pur
chasing an imported cigar. If they
have no boxes in the case to which is
attached a yellow and white stamp,
don’t attempt to make a purchase. The
clerk will sell you a cigar he calls im
ported, but it will not be the real ar
ticle.—Washington Post.
PICKINGS FROM FICTION.
A thousand times better are the men
who do than the weaklings who only
know.—“God Wills It.”
I've burned out the candle o’ the
Lord’s mercy an' blowed the ashes in
his face.—“The Sign of the Prophet.”
It is as bad to slave at work as to
slave at pleasure, but God may forgive
what people cannot help.—“Lazarre.”
Nature works not for man’s enjoy
ment, but for her own satisfaction and
her own glory.—“Our National Parks.”
Time has kindlier uses for his scythe
than cutting short human lives. Ills
chief use of it is to cut off the tops of
human memories.—“The Usurper.”
To really enjoy the holidays one
should have money, uncounted money,
In a coal scuttle, let us say, with a con
venient little tire shovel close at band.
—“The Last of the Knickerbockers.”
Lovers of love are not lovers only.
They are artists in emotion, always in
quest of a still more subtle sensation, a
Joy more intense, a grief more bitter,
and are unable to remain faithful to a
monotonous fidelity, a tender constan
cy.—“The Screen."
Wbnt Grant Saw In Canada.
Lord Dufferin when viceroy of Cana
da paid a visit to Washington while
General Grant was president. He cas
ually asked the president whether he
had ever been in Canada.
The reply was a striking example of
General Grant’s brusque outspoken
ness, “No; 1 have never set foot on Ca
nadian soil, but I have approached
near enough to its shores in a steam
boat to see the grass growing in the
streets of the Canadian towns.”
Lord Dufferin saw that General
Grant shared with many of his coun
trymen at that time a common misap
prehension in regard to the resources
and destinies of Canada. — London
News.
Her Opnortnnlty.
“Mrs. Weeds,” said Mr. Binks, “I
asked your daughter to marry me. and
she referred me to you."
“I’m sure that’s very kind of Susie;
but, then, she always was a dutiful
girl. Really, Mr. Binks, I hadn't
thought of marrying again at my time
of life, but since you insist suppose we
make the wedding day the 20th of this
month.”—New York Press.
A Temperance Story.
“You seem rather hilarious today,’
the lathe remarked to the bnzzsaw.
"Yes,” replied the buzzsaw; “the
man who runs me brought some whis
ky into the shop with him a little
while ago.”
“Well?”
“Well, I took two or three fingers at
Ids expense.”—Philadelphia Press.
Vonns Doctor'* Meed ot Haate.
“Yes,” said the old doctor; “yon
should try to have your own carriage,
by all means, because when you want
to get to a patient quickly”—
“Oh.” interrupted the young M. D..
“I don’t think any patient who sent for
me would be likely to die before I
reached him.”
“No, but he might recover before you
got there.”—Philadelphia Press.
Cnrelea* Parent*.
"Why don't you make a name for
yourself?” asked the serious person.
“I only wish I had had the chance,”
said the pale young man, “but my par
ents thought they knew it all. and they
made up one of their own, and that’s
why I am compelled to struggle against
fate under the handicap of Reginald
Claude de Vere Smithers.”—Washing
ton Star.
Hl* War.
Sabbath School Teacher—When tery
angry, what should you do?
Johnny Thickneck—Knock the other
feller down, sit on his head and then
count 200. That’s the only safe way
ma'am.—Judge.
Comforting.
I’ntlent— Doctor, what is the effect
of that medicine you just gave me?
Physician—I don’t know, but in the
Interests of science I feel It my duty
to stay and And out—Ohio State Jour
nal.
PRETTY DISTRUSTFUL.
INOCULATION IN ENGLAND.
WHY WE EAT SOME FOODS.
A Case Where Suspicion Might Be
Carried Too Far.
It Wa* l ady Mary Wortley Maatasa
Wlio Introduced It.
It I* Mot Alone That We Like Them,
but Mature Demand* Them.
It was Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
who first introduced inoculation for
smallpox in England. While residing
in Belgrade In 1717 she saw the Turks
practice "engrafting,” as they called
it. to produce a mild form of smallpox
and stay its ravages. She examined
the process mid. being convinced of its
efficacy, applied It to her three-year old
son. On her return to England she
introduced It In London. At that time
it wus computed that one person in ev
ery seven died of the smallpox. Yet
she was op)K»H«l by the entire m«licnl
faculty. By order of government an
experiment was made upon five per
sons then under sentence of death, and
It proved perfectly successful.
But Instead of Lady Mary being ac
knowledged as a public benefactor
she was persecuted with the most re
lentless hostility. The faculty rose to
a man against her. Even the clergy
descanted on tlie awful impiety of seek
ing to take events out of the hands of
Providence. Tlie common people were
urged to hoot her as an unnatural moth
er who had risked the lives of her own
children. However, the Princess of
Wales, afterward Queen Caroline, stood
her friend, and truth and reason finally
prevailed. It was about the year 1752
that Lady Montagu was honored by a
monument erect«l to commemorate
England's gratitude to her for intro
ducing inoculation.
T»r. Edward Jenner substituted cow
pox inoculation in 1799. He lived to ffe
rewarded by parliament by a grant of
and later by a second grant of
£20,000, and In 1858 a statue was
erected to him in London. Only a bare
credit was vouchsafed to Lady Mary
Wortley Montagu, who bore all the per
secution without any of the pecuniary
Mnperwtitlonn About Hables.
reward she was eutitl«! to and by uo
The Manx people believe that it will means a fair share of the glory.
dwarf or wizen a baby If any one steps
over it or walks around it. In some
A Chicago Te«»er.
parts of England people bind the in A Chicago man who lives in Goethe
fant's right hand, so that it may have street gets off the car at Schiller street,
riches when It grows up. In York two blocks away, because no conductor
shire n newborn babe is placed in a can understand Ids pronunciation of
maiden's arms before being touched by Goethe. “I bad practiced on the pro
any one else in order to insure good nunciation for a week,” he says, "and I
luck.
had the sound of the ‘umlaut’ down
in South America a book, a piece of fine. I sprung it on the conductor the
money ano a hottie of liquor are placed first evening. He looked at me blank
before the infant the day it Is one year ly mid replied, ‘Huh?’ I repeated it
old to ascertain Its bent In life.
once or twice, and finally a great light
in Scotland a baby is considered
lucky if It handles its spoon with its broke over him. ‘Oh, yes; you mean
left hand, and it will be perfectly hap Go-tlie. Why didn't you say so?’
“The next evening the conductor call
py and successful if it has a number
ed
it Go-eetli. The third time up It was
of falls before its first birthday. In
the n I'tli of England, when a child Is Go-e-the. Then there was a raw Irish
taken from a house for the first time, man In charge of one of the trains who
It is given an egg. some salt and a spoke of It us Go-tay. with the accent
small loaf of bread and occasionally a on the last syllable. One morning 1
small piece of money to insure it left an order for my wife at the gro
cer’s. lie looked at me In silence for a
against coming to want.
minute after I bad given our address.
‘Oh, yes.’ he said; ‘you mean Gertie
How Oriental People Wash.
street.' The butcher calls it Gaytie, the
"European tourists in the east,” said
laundryman pronounces It Gay-tlih,
il traveler, "have before uow remarked and
the man who delivers coal alludes
on the various degrees of dirtiness
manifested by the oriental races. But to it as Gotli street.
“I have a woman friend who prides
their dirtiness is not only to be differen herself on her culture who speaks feel
tiated in degree, but also in kind. Your
ingly of Gutter street. But the devoted
only partially civilized man is clean in
spots. Civilization might be measured thoroughfare doesn’t really ‘get It In
the neck’ until you bear the janitor
by tlie size nnd number of the spots un
til, in the perfect civilization, I sup talk. He calls It Goitre.”
pose. it will be all clean spot But dif
Entrll*h Free School Role*, 1734,
ferent races put the spots in different
Imprimis, Whatsoever Boy comes tfl
places; so, observing this, there has School past 7 o’ th’ Clock In the Morn
grown up a saying among the Euro ing In Summer time and past 8 o’ th’
peans in the east that the Chinese wash clock In ye Winter time [without Shew
their clothes, but not themselves; the ing good reason] Shall receive 3 Lash
Japanese wash themselves, but not es.
their clothes, and tlie Koreans wash
Item. Whosoever absents himself
neither. Were there nothing else to from School, Either by Truantry, by
Judge by, it might be a pretty question trying to stay at home, or otherwise;
whether tlie Chinese or the Japanese Shall iucurr his Muster’s highest dis
are the more civilized.”
pleasure, Suffer the hissing and Scoff
ing of ye whole School, Tarry behind
' ■-rxBse Tsrs--..
tlie Rest one hour at Night for a week,
In “Tlie Book of tlie Rifle” the Hon. mid besides las a suitable Reward for
T. F. Freemantle tells the following his —) shall suffer 12 Lashes.
amusing story apropos of accidents to
Item. Whatsoever Boy shall at any
markers:
time Curse, Swear, or take the Lord's
“Sir Henry Halford on one occasion Name in vain, Shall assuredly suffer
—It was not it very clear day—was for such offence, 15 Lashes.
about to liegin shooting at 1,000 yards
Item, What Boy soever addicts him
and, thinking that the marker must self to Obscene Talking or foolish Jest
now lie ready for him to liegin, asked ing. shall Suffer for each such Trans
him through the telephone, ‘Are you gression.
all right?’ Tlie marker replied, “All
Item, What Boy soever absents him
right, sir. in a minute;' but, unluckily, self from the Service of Almighty God
Sir Henry took ‘All right, sir,’ instead on the Sabbath day, and spends that
of the whole sentence and removed the Day in n wicked man'er In playing &
telephone from his ear. He lay down running about. Shall receive 20 Lashes.
and fired his shot, and on looking
Item. Whosoever steals from or de
through the telescope th see where it frauds his School-fellow of Ink, Pens,
had hit was horrified to see the marker Paper. Quills, or any Other Thing
with a perfectly white face staggering Whatsoever, Shall certainly, when
toward Ills shelter. He was intensely found out and detected, receive 9 Lash
alarmed, and in a moment there came es.— Notes and Queries.
a ring at the telephone. ‘Wbat has
happened? Are you badly hurt?’ ‘No,
The Reporter’* Revenge.
sir, I am not hurt; but I had a bucket
“Do you see that man?”
of whitewash between my legs paint
And I observed a rather lonesome
ing the target, and you put a bullet into person wandering aimlessly about the
il and splashed it all up in my face.’ ”
capitol. Regret was stamped upon his
face, and his whole attitude was that
The Last Straw.
1 of a man who had tried and failed and
Mrs. Muggins—My busband is a per who had no intention of every trying
fect crank.
again.
Mrs. Buggins—All busbands are, my
“Well, that is a former representative
dear.
who called the correspondent of the
Mrs. Muggins—But fancy a man who lending paper in his district a liar. The
complains that my mustard plasters correspondent did not pursue the ordi
nre not as strong as those his mother nary method of retaliation by attack
used to make!— Philadelphia Record.
ing him in liis articles whenever op
portunity offered. He simply refused
No Women Admitted.
for two years to mention his name in
Maiwntchln, on tlie borders of Rus- his correspondence. The people at home
eia, is the only city in the world peo began to wonder what they sent a
pled by men only. The Chinese women man to congress for anyway and final
are not onlt forbidden to live in this ly came to the conclusion that a repre
territory, but even to pass the great sentative who could not get his name
wall of Kalkan and enter into Mongo in the paper could not be ot much ac
lia. All the Chinese of thia border city count in Washington. It took 1,400 bal
nre exclusively traders.
lots to beat him when he came up for
renomination, but they did It all right.”
Gloomy Even Then.
— Washington Cor. New York Herald.
Hook—BJones is the most melancholy
Attentive to the Duties.
fellow I know.
Nye—That's right. He proposed to a
"Yes, I’m due of the trustees of the
girl once by asking her bow she would proposed gallery of art.”
like to be ids widow.—San Francisco
"What have you done so far?”
“So far? Why, we've eaten three an
Chronicle.
nual dinners and are preparing for a
Hl* Scheme,
fourth.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Friend—Why do you wenr those fear
Mot Good Enough,
fully old fashioned collars?
Winkers (si man of affairs!—Because
Mr. Nucomer—I found a china collar
when tlie washerwoman sends them to button in the hash this morning, and—
anybody else they send them back.
Landlady—Nora, bring a gold plated
button for Mr. Nucomer. Remember
he Is on the second floor.—Sau Francls-
Anticipated.
Stern Parent—I suppose you are co Chronicle.
aware, young man. that l cease to pro
Mn Reason For Delay.
vide for my daughter when she leaves
“My darling." he exclaimed, “I would
my roof?
go to the end of tlie earth for you."
Suitor—Oh, yea! We have Battled There was n slight pause while the or
about that—Bertha nnd I. We have de chestra played tremulous ragtime.
cided to make our home with you.—
“SuppooB,” she said, "you begin yoirr
Boston Transcript
travel* now.”—Pittsburg Dispatch-
“1 told the postmaster of a town at
the foot of the Cumberland mountains
that I proposed a two weeks’ trip
among the sights and scenes of the big
bills,” said a Detroiter who roams all
over the country, “and asked him If he
couldn’t give me n writing of some sort
that would be a safe conduct in case I
met with moonshiners.
‘"Yes; I could write something, but
I’m a fen red it would do no good,’ he
replied. 'They might read the letter
anil know I wrote it. but they’d still be
suspicious.’
“ 'Suspicious of what?’
“ 'Suspicious that you was a spy.
They’d be so suspicious that they'd
probably draw you up to a limb with a
rope around your neck and let you
hang for a minlt.’
“ 'Then they’d let me down and be
lieve I was all right, wouldn’t they?’
“ 'I’m afeared not. I’m afeared they’d
still be suspicious of you.’
“ ‘Suspicious of what?’
“'Suspicious that you was a revenoo
man. Then they'd draw you up again,
and it might be two ininits befo’ they
let you down this time. Two minits Is
a purty long ttme to be kickin' and
chokin’.’
“ 'But they would Unally let me
down?’ I asked.
“ ‘Yes; I reckon so.’
“ ‘And be convinced that I was no
revenue man?’
“ ‘Yes; they might, but that wouldn’t
end it. They'd still be suspicious.’
“ ‘Of what?'
“ ‘That you was a blamed fule fur
bein’ up tbar at all, and this time
they’d pull you up and leave you hang
In' fur the best part of a week.’ ”—De
trolt Free Press.
Why do you take milk in your tea?
Most persons would answer because
they liked it that way. but the eclen-
tints have found a deeper reason, plac
ing the custom on purely scientific
grounds. These learned ones discourse
as follows: We use sugar in our tea to
prevent injury to the coatings of our
stomachs. Whenever tannic acid and
albumen meet, they fall desperately In
love with each other, get married with
out bans and live together ever after
ward as tannate of albumen, or loath
er. Now. there is tannic acid in tea and
a lot of albumen in the coating of the
stomach. The tannic acid weds as
much of this as is allowed by the laws
of chemistry and so far Injures the
stomach.
But milk also contains albumen.
Win n milk is added to tea, therefore,
the molecules of tannic acid select
their albumen partners from it, and as
a divorce is unknown to tannate of al
tinmen the albumen of the stomach re
mains single, and so the lining of the
stomach is uninjured.
Now, you may imagine that when
you mix a salad dressing you put vin-
eg r in it because it tastes better made
that way. but you are wrong ngaiu.
It Is for a chemical reason, which is as
follows:
Raw vegetables are easily enough di
gested by cows and horses, but with
difficulty by the human stomach, be
cause they contain that hard, fibrous
substance cellulose. But acids dissolve
cellulose, and vinegar is an acid. That
is why we take it with salad and cab
bage, and doubtless that is why It
tastes so well, for the palate is an ex
cellent Judge of what is good for the
stomach. Oil is added for the very
good reason that it protects the lining
of the stomach from the action of the
acid In the vinegar.
Why do we take butter on bread?
Partly because wheaten flour does not
contain enough fat and partly because
butter contains a trifling quantity of
substances called “extractives,” which
In some unknown way stimulate the
appetite and aid digestion.
Why do we take pepper, mustard and
spices? Because they tickle the glands
of the stomach and make them work.
Consequently they produce an abun
dant supply of digestive juices. They
also stir up the liver, and a stirring up
of this organ is an important thing for
people who live sedentary lives.
Why do we put salt on our meat?
Why, there are two principal salts in
our body, and their supply has to be
kept up. They are sodium salts and
potassium salts. There is sufficient of
tlie latter in the food we eat, but not of
tlie former. We therefore have to add
tlie sodium salts in the form of common
salt, which is sodium chloride. Anoth
er reason why we ent common salt is
that a certain amount of hydrochloric
acid is needed by the stomach for the
purposes of digestion anil also to kill
off some of tlie microbes we swallow.
This acid is manufactured in the stom
ach from hydrogen and the chlorine
of common salt. We take more salt
witli some meats than with others be
cause some naturally contain less salt
than others. So by our condiments we
seek to even up things.—New York
Press.
Men and Women In Sleeping Carl.
“It would surprise you to know that
n heavy per cent of the persons who
travel on sleeping cars make no effort
to disrobe before they retire,” said
a conductor who runs between New
Orleans and Chicago. "They simply
roll In witli boots, spurs and all. They
do not seem to know that a berth on n
sleeping car is just the same as a bed
In a private home except in size. Some
of them will pull off their coats and
collars. Some of them will slip their
slioes iroiii tl.eir feet. There are many,
of course, who are used to traveling
and who go in for a good night's sleep.
"With women It is different. You
can never catch u woman so Indifferent
to comfort and cleanliness In this re
spect. She will pull her shoes off ev
ery time.”—New Orleans Times-Demo-
crat.
______________
Her View ot It.
"With the aid of this little book,”
said tlie canvasser as he produced a
“Mother’s Guide” for the inspection of
his victim, "you will be able to bring
up your children properly.”
She took the book and weighed it
thoughtfully in her hand. Then sb"
caught it by the edge mid brought It
down on the palm of her hand as if to
see if it could be handled with ease and
dexterity.
“Oh, I don't know,” she said nt last.
"I can't see that it's any better for that
purpose than a slipper.”—Brooklyn Ea
gle.
_ _____
An Unnnuul Contribution.
A number of years ago Mr. and Mra
Leland Stanford were traveling through
tlie middle west incognito. They hap
pened to lie in Bloomington, Ind., one
Sunday and. pursuant to their usual
custom, went to church. They attend
ed the Christian church of Blooming
ton. tlien largely in the hands of Amzl
Atwater. When tlie plate was passed
for tlie collection, Mrs. Stanford drop
ped in a ten dollar goldpicce. Mr. At
water was the deacon in charge of the
collection taking. It was noticed that
tlie ushers held a hurried conference
witli him when the money was taken
forward.
At its conclusion Mr. Atwater said.
“Ladles and gentlemen, there has evi
dently been a mistake. Some one has
dropped a ten dollar goidplece into the
collection. If lie will pass up after the
services, we will lie glad to allow him
to exchange it for the amount he in
tended to give.”
It is. of course, needless to say that
Mrs. Stanford did not take advantage
of the opportunity.
Flrat Fruit*.
Kindergartner—Children, this morn
ing I have a surprise for you. I have
brought a lovely big rubber plant for
us to have in our room, nnd every day
we will water it and—
Grade—Oh. Miss H., can i I have tlie
first pair of rubber«?—Chicago Trib
une.
—————————--- —
,
The Meiiencer Boy,
“Why Is It that one can never got a
bright, reliable and speedy messen
ger?”
“De company don't pay dat kind of
wages, ma'am.”— Indianapolis News.