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About Spilyay tymoo. (Warm Springs, Or.) 1976-current | View Entire Issue (May 18, 1990)
Spilyay Tymoo Warm Springs, Oregon May 18, 1990 PAGE 7 Be sure the punishment fits the crime My object all sublime Ithall achieve In time To make the punishment fit the crime, The punishment fit the crime. Gilbert and Sullivan, The Mikado No one ii perfect. During your childhood, chancel are you told a ttory that wasnt true or helped yourself to something that wasn't yours or used language that made your parents' hair stand on end. Yet, yoii probably turned out OK. Most children do. Sometimes, though, lying and other misbehavior goes beyond the usual childhood mischief. When this happens, many parents are shocked. Like detectives, they sniff out the evidence. They put children through the third degree. They search for "a punishment to fit the crime." But this is not the best way to deal with problem behavior. Some of this behavior is just a normal part of growing up, and usually disappears as children learn what's expected of them. They must be discouraged, but by overreacting you can make the problem worse. Vou may even create a problem where none exists. Children's misbehavior may mean they are still learning the dif ference between right and wrong. It could mean they are testing lim its or looking for ways to reach out to others. On the other hand, misbehavior can be a sign that a child is having trouble. Consider, for example, these typical problems: Lying: It's often hard for young children to separate what's "real" from what's "pretend." During the early years, it's perfectly normal for children to tell tall talcs. But by the time children are five or six, they should be able to tell the difference between reality anc fantasy. When children of this ag( lie a lot, something may be wrong. Stealing: In the preschool years, it's not unusual for children to walk off with things that aren't theirs. They just don't know any better. They see something, want it, and take. But by the age of five or six years, children usually have more self-control. Even then, lapses aren't uncommon. The time for concern is when children steal often or develop a pattern for stealing. Agresslve behavior: It's not easy for yourg children to control their feelings. They tend to hit or punch when they're upset, because they dont know a better way to get what they want. But most children slowly learn better ways to express angry feel ings. If children continue to use their fists and feet as they get older, they may need special help. It's hard to list A, B, and Cas the ways to deal with problem bchuv ior. You can, however, follow these guidlines when your children's be havior concerns you' Make sure a problem really exists. Let children know what the ground rules are. Look for the causes behind problem behaviors. Deal with the new causes. Results will not always appear right away. They may even get worse before they get better. But by trying to get to the bottom of things, you can bring behavior under control before it gets out of control. All behavior has a purpose. If children can't meet their needs in approved ways, they'll try other ways to get what they want. Search for the cause of a problem behavior by asking yourself what the child is getting from the behavior. Observe when and how often it occurs. Think carefully about what's going ' on in your child's lite. And look for answers to questions such as: OSU Extension Planting Seminar Wednesday, May 23 at 2 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. at the Extension Office at 1134 Paiute Street Learn simple Ideas on how to beautify your home, selection, location, space, how to plant and care after planting. Do I expect too little or too much from my children? Do I let them know how much I love them? Do 1 lake time tocxplainwhut I expect of them and why? Are my methods of discipline too harsh? Do my children feel free to express their feelings? Here are some common reasons why children develop problem be haviors. To get praise or attention. Robin feels neglected. She believes her parents dont listen to her or notice her very much. She's found that the only way she can get theirattcntion is to have a temper tantrum. To express anger. Randy thinks his parents like his older sistei more than him. He resents this verj much. So, whenever his mother 01 father praise Wendy, Randy swears. He knows that annoys them. To live up to parents' expecta tions. Nancy knows it's very im portant to her parents that she do well in school. They were very upset when she got a C on her last test. On the next test, Nancy cheats by looking at the paper of the girl next to her. To avoid punishment. Whenever George does anything wrong, his father sends him to his room for the rest of the day. When George accidentally broke his father's bowl ing trophy he lied, "The cat knocked it over." To gain friendship. Betsy isn't very sure of herself. She thinks other children will like her only if she gives them things. So she steals money form her mother's purse to buy candy for the other children. To follow parents' example. Herbie's parents fight a lot and they always spank Herbie when they are angry at him. Herbie tends to pick fights with the other chidlren in the neighborhood. He also hits and kicks whenever he wants something. Information Provided By: OSU Warm Springs Extension 1134 Paiute Street PO Box 430 Warm Springs, OR 97761 (503) 553-32383239 Parenting can tire you Sometimes we're too tired to cope with the constant demands or dawdling of children. Many young parents hardly ever get enough sleep. If you think you're getting pretty edgy, it might be time for an extra nap. We can't live and not experience frustration, hurt or anger. Some times we release these feelings by yelling at our children. It's some thing no one really wants to do. Those who do yell at their children usually regret it later. Many adults have not learned the tricks of keeping themselves cool rather than childishly letting loose as youngsters are apt to do. Adult-acting parents can learn to manage their responses to children. We recognize that it's a rare parent who hasn't been trapped into child-like yelling and screaming in the course of family ups and downs. Why do we yell at children when we know it is detrimental to the self-image of the child and ourselves? Often, parental frust ration results from unrealistic, expectations of a childs response or behavior. As a matter of information 'no' is a natural response for a three-year-old and hurrying isn't within their grasp cither. Children fall short of what we think they should be and we mistakenly think we can jar them to attention. Most parents know children respond best to quiet directions from an adult acting parent. Some parents say they can't stop yelling at their kids because they dont listen. What would happen if we did remain cool and spoke in normal tones? It takes courage to change a habit, but surprisingly children do pay better attention. Some facts offered OSU mini-college set Many fruit-containing cereals actually have little fruit in them. For a premium priice, some of them give you only an ounce or two of fruit in the entire box. Try adding your own dried fruit or, even better, fresh fruit. The typical 40-year-old man who doesn't exercise, doesn't wear a seat belt, smokes two packs a day and is 30 percent overweight costs his employer $ 1 ,282 a year in medi- June 1, 1990 is the deadline for registering for classes in OSU's Mini-College that will be held in Corvallis on the OSU campus June 17-20. Classes will be filled on a first come, first served basis. The sooner you register, the better the chances you'll be placed in the classes you request. More than 40 different classes, ranging from how to start a home- Instead of money, use... Using money substitutes is one secret of spending less. Practice stretching your dollars by using the money substitutes of time, ability, knowledge, possessions, and pub lic goods and services. Here are some ideas: Planfamily "fun projects"for mak ing things or providing services instead of buying them. What are some "money substitute" projects your family mighty choose to reduce spending for: eating out, convenience foods, transportation, clothing, furnishings, household maintenance, recreation, and gifts? Barter. The idea is to exchange goods and services without using money. This can be 111 trade you tomatoes for apples" or "111 trade you a suit for an oil change." it will take some thinking and planning to determine what your talents are and who would need them. Read magazines and books from the library. Cancel book club memberships, magazines, and news paper subscriptions, especially those which remain unread for a long time. Share the magazines and news papers you do buy with another family. based business to historical sites in Corvallis to writing will be offered , this year. Teachers are drawn from the OSU faculty and from the ranks of other professionals and skilled volunteers who are expert in the field they will be teaching. A special feature of Mini-College will be a general assembly featur ing Lynn Tylczak, Albany home-, maker and founder of the Poison Proof Project. Title of her talk will be "Making the World Change." Cost of the Mini-College for full-time participants will be SI 35, including meals and room. Day-by-day registration is available at a reduced cost. Complete copies of the program, which contains a reg istration form, is available from the Warm Springs Extension office, or call 553-3238. Help your child understand money Four- and five-years-olds can understand that parents work and usually are interested in what that work is. A visit to the workplace helps children know what you do and why you have to be away from home. Be sure to check with your boss before your child visits. If you are a homemaker, you work at home. Don't tell children you don't work. Share with them what you do and how it contributes to the family. Shopping experiences. The pre- I CAN STAND WHAT I KNOW. IT'S WHAT I DON'T KNOW THAT FRIGHTENS ME. Francis Newton Recipes offer variety Chill Cheesesklns 1 pkg.(10oz.) frozen baked potato skins ltbsp. chili powder Vi c. shredded cheddar cheese (6 oz.) c. sliced tomato Preheat oven at 425. Line 8 or 9 inch cake pan with foil. Add potato skins, skin side down. Bake until crisp, about 12 minutes. Remove from oven and sprinkle with chili powder. Fill skins with cheddar cheese, then top with tomato. Bake until cheese is melted, about 5 minutes. If desired, served topped with sour cream. Yield: 4 portions, Per portion: 333 mg calcium. Summer camps secheduled Summer Camp 1990 Camp Counselor training at Crys tal Springs in Priveville, OR June 23-29. Crystal Springs 4-H Camp June 24-26, 1990 Challenge Camp Counselor Training July 13 through 15 at the High Lakes 9-12 gr. Challenge Camp at Trout Lake August 12-16 Sunday through Thursday for a fun-filled time. Jefferson County 6,' 7 and 8 Gerentology workshop set OSU Extension is presenting a Training for Professionals, free of charge, May 22, 1990 from 9:00 am to 1:00 pm (lunch provided), at the Warm Springs 4-H Center. The Training will be presented by Vicki Schmall, OSU Gerontology Spe cialist, a study of aging and prob lems of the aged. Vicki will present three new pro grams she has developed. Each program has a slide set, video tape and guide. Topics of her programs are: "Depression and Seniors," "Multiple losses and Grief and Seniors," "Alcohol abuse and Seniors." Each program is: de signed to use with seniors or their families. suoerb, available from OSU Extension offices for check out. Vicki Schmall is a national authority on aging issues. Vicki is a wonderful presenter and has pres ented workshops in Warm Springs and Jefferson County several times. You will enjoy your time with her. Professionals from Warm Springs and Jefferson County have been invited. Youll have a chance to visit and exchange ideas with Vicki and other professionals dur ing lunch. If you are a professional who works with seniors or their families this workshop is for you!! Sunny Sirloin Steak 1 lb. beef top sirloin steak, cut 1 !4' thick lA cup fresh orange juice 14 cup light soy sauce 2 Tbsp. dry sherry 1 clove garlic, minced 2 dashes ground cloves. Combine orange juice, soy sauce, sherry, garlic and cloves. Place steak in plastic bag; add marinade, turning to coat. Tie bag securely and marinate in refrigerator two to four hours, turning at least once. Drain marinade from steak. Place steak on rack in broiler pan so sur face of meat is three to four inches from heat. Broil eight to nine min utes, turn and broil second side of steak eight to nine minutes to de sired doneness (rare to medium). Carve into thin slices. Four servings. Steak Diane with Mushrooms 4 well-trimmed beef top loin steaks, cut XA inch thick (about one pound) 2 cloves garlic, minced 2 Tbsp., butter 1 cup quartered fresh mushrooms 2 Tbsp. finely chopped onions Freshly ground pepper !4 cup each brandy and dry sherry 2 tsp. Dijon-style mustard lA tsp. Worcestershire sauce 1 tsp. snipped parsley ' Cook garlic in butter in large non-stick frying pan over medium high heat one to two minutes. Add mushrooms and onions and con tinue cookiing two to three min utes. Remove from frying pan to small bowl; reserve. Quickly cook steaks in same frying pan over high heat I 'A minutes on eacch side, or to doneness desired. Season with pepper. Remove to warm platter. Add brandy, sherry, mustard, Wor cestershire sauce and reserved mushroom mixture to pan, stirring to combine. Bring to a boil, cook and stir until slightly thickened, about one to two minutes. Spoon sauce over steaks and sprinkle with parsley. Four servings. schooler who shops with mom or dad has many opportunities to learn about money. Give preschoolers money at the checkout counter to pay for a par ticular item that is for them. Pay ing the clerk and getting the item introduces children to the idea that money is exchanged for goods. As children get older they are ready to make choices. Five-year-olds are able to choose between two or three items. Give children money but set guidelines. Perhaps the money is for choosing and buy ing one of three toys. Children usually make this decision very slowly, so do this on a day when you are not in a hurry. When you shop, avoid letting children talk you into buying things you don't need or want. If you aren't buying an item a child wants, say "no" and stick to it. When you say no to children, explain why. Spending experiences. As child ren start school they are ready to spend some of their "own" money. Around age six you might start an allowance-a consistent amount of money given at a regular time. Children, who have older brothers and sisters receiving an allowance, will want one before age six. With younger children, give the allow ance close to the time money will be spent, such as a day or two before the shoppilng trip. When children receive an allo wance they should know what it is for. An allowance usually includes money for certain items and money they may spend as they please. T :y for the agreed upon itei... is the costs of necessary purchases, while the money a child decides how to spend teaches decision-making. Children under age six typically spend money on candy, gum, ice cream, small toys, books, paints and crayons, church giving or gifts for others. You may say "I don't want my child spending money on candy and gum." If there are restrictions on what your children can pur chase, discuss it ahead of time. Be sure you permit children to make some choices because decision making is important. When you let children make cho ices, they will sometimes make what appears to be a bad decision. Before you decide if a purchase was a bad buy, discuss the decision with your child. Perhaps it was a good buy from the child's viewpoint. If it was a poor choice, help the child understand why. Poor choices are also part of learning. Perhaps you cannot afford to give your children allowances. Since you are buying items for them, let them help in the selection decisions. For example, let them select and purchase some of their clothes. The opportunity to make and live with decisions is an impor tant money management experi ence. Giving and sharing experience. Four-,five-, or six-year-olds can learn about sharing and giving. They can give to a church collec tion or purchase small gifts on spe cial occasions for family members and friends. They may also be ready to make cards or small gifts, which teach that time and work can be substituted for money. cal bills, double the $631 spent on someone the same age with health ier habits, according to a study by Control Data. Nearly 65 percent of the 35 bil lion pounds of potatoes grown in the U.S. each year are made into potato chips, dehydrated instant' mixes and frozen items like french fries. There are no nutritional differ ences between extra-virgin, virgin, fine and ungraded olive oil. These terms relate to differences in the way thee oil is extracted from the olives. Extra virgin oil, the most expensive, comes from the first pressing and is minimally processed. Ammonia cleaners and dish washing liquids containing ammo nia (such as Joy, Dawn, Palmolive and Ivory) should never be com bined with chlorine bleach. Mixed together, they give off a toxic gas that's a severe respiratory irritant. Add vitamin C-rich foods Adding a serving of vitamin C rich foods to each meal can help you absorb more iron from plant foods. Many women have difficulty get ting enough iron in their diets even though the Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for iron for women has been lowered in the new recommendations from the National Research Council. Cut ting back on red meat increases the problem. A recent study showed that the borderline anemic women who added vitamin C to each meal for five-and-one-half weeks improved in several tests for iron status. Women who had a placebo did not make the same improvement. The best way to add vitamin C to your meals is by eating a vitamin C-rich food. Oranges, tomatoes, strawberries, cantaloupe, broccoli, potatoes, huckleberries and cab bage are good sources of vitamin C. Try orange juice, fruit salads, vegetables or vegetable salads to increase the use of the iron that is in the breads, cereals and vegetbles you eat. 4 ,. Ir- ii ) ;vy A Ifreda S mith, member of the 4-H Embroidery Club, braids a brightly colored lacra rope. Materials were donated by Warm Springs A pparel Industries. m m,m mm i mm.jt m.mm.m,mm,m m m m mm mm.mj.
