Spilyay Tymoo
Warm Springs, Oregon
May 18, 1990 PAGE 7
Be sure the punishment fits the crime
My object all sublime
Ithall achieve In time
To make the punishment fit the
crime,
The punishment fit the crime.
Gilbert and Sullivan, The Mikado
No one ii perfect.
During your childhood, chancel
are you told a ttory that wasnt true
or helped yourself to something
that wasn't yours or used language
that made your parents' hair stand
on end. Yet, yoii probably turned
out OK. Most children do.
Sometimes, though, lying and
other misbehavior goes beyond the
usual childhood mischief. When
this happens, many parents are
shocked. Like detectives, they sniff
out the evidence. They put children
through the third degree. They
search for "a punishment to fit the
crime."
But this is not the best way to
deal with problem behavior. Some
of this behavior is just a normal
part of growing up, and usually
disappears as children learn what's
expected of them. They must be
discouraged, but by overreacting
you can make the problem worse.
Vou may even create a problem
where none exists.
Children's misbehavior may
mean they are still learning the dif
ference between right and wrong.
It could mean they are testing lim
its or looking for ways to reach out
to others.
On the other hand, misbehavior
can be a sign that a child is having
trouble. Consider, for example,
these typical problems:
Lying: It's often hard for young
children to separate what's "real"
from what's "pretend." During the
early years, it's perfectly normal
for children to tell tall talcs.
But by the time children are five
or six, they should be able to tell
the difference between reality anc
fantasy. When children of this ag(
lie a lot, something may be wrong.
Stealing: In the preschool years,
it's not unusual for children to
walk off with things that aren't
theirs. They just don't know any
better. They see something, want
it, and take.
But by the age of five or six
years, children usually have more
self-control. Even then, lapses aren't
uncommon. The time for concern
is when children steal often or
develop a pattern for stealing.
Agresslve behavior: It's not easy
for yourg children to control their
feelings. They tend to hit or punch
when they're upset, because they
dont know a better way to get
what they want.
But most children slowly learn
better ways to express angry feel
ings. If children continue to use
their fists and feet as they get older,
they may need special help.
It's hard to list A, B, and Cas the
ways to deal with problem bchuv
ior. You can, however, follow these
guidlines when your children's be
havior concerns you'
Make sure a problem really
exists.
Let children know what the
ground rules are.
Look for the causes behind
problem behaviors.
Deal with the new causes.
Results will not always appear
right away. They may even get
worse before they get better. But by
trying to get to the bottom of
things, you can bring behavior
under control before it gets out of
control.
All behavior has a purpose. If
children can't meet their needs in
approved ways, they'll try other
ways to get what they want. Search
for the cause of a problem behavior
by asking yourself what the child is
getting from the behavior. Observe
when and how often it occurs.
Think carefully about what's going '
on in your child's lite. And look for
answers to questions such as:
OSU Extension Planting Seminar
Wednesday, May 23 at 2 p.m. and 6:30 p.m.
at the Extension Office at 1134 Paiute Street
Learn simple Ideas on how to beautify your home, selection,
location, space, how to plant and care after planting.
Do I expect too little or too
much from my children?
Do I let them know how much
I love them?
Do 1 lake time tocxplainwhut
I expect of them and why?
Are my methods of discipline
too harsh?
Do my children feel free to
express their feelings?
Here are some common reasons
why children develop problem be
haviors. To get praise or attention. Robin
feels neglected. She believes her
parents dont listen to her or notice
her very much. She's found that the
only way she can get theirattcntion
is to have a temper tantrum.
To express anger. Randy thinks
his parents like his older sistei
more than him. He resents this verj
much. So, whenever his mother 01
father praise Wendy, Randy swears.
He knows that annoys them.
To live up to parents' expecta
tions. Nancy knows it's very im
portant to her parents that she do
well in school. They were very
upset when she got a C on her last
test. On the next test, Nancy cheats
by looking at the paper of the girl
next to her.
To avoid punishment. Whenever
George does anything wrong, his
father sends him to his room for
the rest of the day. When George
accidentally broke his father's bowl
ing trophy he lied, "The cat knocked
it over."
To gain friendship. Betsy isn't
very sure of herself. She thinks
other children will like her only if
she gives them things. So she steals
money form her mother's purse to
buy candy for the other children.
To follow parents' example.
Herbie's parents fight a lot and
they always spank Herbie when
they are angry at him. Herbie tends
to pick fights with the other chidlren
in the neighborhood. He also hits
and kicks whenever he wants something.
Information Provided By:
OSU Warm Springs Extension
1134 Paiute Street
PO Box 430
Warm Springs, OR 97761
(503) 553-32383239
Parenting can tire you
Sometimes we're too tired to
cope with the constant demands or
dawdling of children. Many young
parents hardly ever get enough
sleep. If you think you're getting
pretty edgy, it might be time for an
extra nap.
We can't live and not experience
frustration, hurt or anger. Some
times we release these feelings by
yelling at our children. It's some
thing no one really wants to do.
Those who do yell at their children
usually regret it later.
Many adults have not learned
the tricks of keeping themselves
cool rather than childishly letting
loose as youngsters are apt to do.
Adult-acting parents can learn
to manage their responses to
children. We recognize that it's a
rare parent who hasn't been
trapped into child-like yelling and
screaming in the course of family
ups and downs.
Why do we yell at children when
we know it is detrimental to the
self-image of the child and
ourselves? Often, parental frust
ration results from unrealistic,
expectations of a childs response
or behavior.
As a matter of information 'no'
is a natural response for a three-year-old
and hurrying isn't within
their grasp cither. Children fall
short of what we think they should
be and we mistakenly think we can
jar them to attention. Most parents
know children respond best to
quiet directions from an adult
acting parent.
Some parents say they can't stop
yelling at their kids because they
dont listen. What would happen if
we did remain cool and spoke in
normal tones? It takes courage to
change a habit, but surprisingly
children do pay better attention.
Some facts offered
OSU mini-college set
Many fruit-containing cereals
actually have little fruit in them.
For a premium priice, some of
them give you only an ounce or two
of fruit in the entire box. Try
adding your own dried fruit or,
even better, fresh fruit.
The typical 40-year-old man who
doesn't exercise, doesn't wear a
seat belt, smokes two packs a day
and is 30 percent overweight costs
his employer $ 1 ,282 a year in medi-
June 1, 1990 is the deadline for
registering for classes in OSU's
Mini-College that will be held in
Corvallis on the OSU campus June
17-20. Classes will be filled on a
first come, first served basis. The
sooner you register, the better the
chances you'll be placed in the
classes you request.
More than 40 different classes,
ranging from how to start a home-
Instead of
money, use...
Using money substitutes is one
secret of spending less. Practice
stretching your dollars by using the
money substitutes of time, ability,
knowledge, possessions, and pub
lic goods and services. Here are
some ideas:
Planfamily "fun projects"for mak
ing things or providing services
instead of buying them. What are
some "money substitute" projects
your family mighty choose to
reduce spending for: eating out,
convenience foods, transportation,
clothing, furnishings, household
maintenance, recreation, and gifts?
Barter. The idea is to exchange
goods and services without using
money. This can be 111 trade you
tomatoes for apples" or "111 trade
you a suit for an oil change." it will
take some thinking and planning
to determine what your talents are
and who would need them.
Read magazines and books from
the library. Cancel book club
memberships, magazines, and news
paper subscriptions, especially those
which remain unread for a long
time. Share the magazines and news
papers you do buy with another
family.
based business to historical sites
in Corvallis to writing will be offered ,
this year. Teachers are drawn from
the OSU faculty and from the
ranks of other professionals and
skilled volunteers who are expert
in the field they will be teaching.
A special feature of Mini-College
will be a general assembly featur
ing Lynn Tylczak, Albany home-,
maker and founder of the Poison
Proof Project. Title of her talk will
be "Making the World Change."
Cost of the Mini-College for
full-time participants will be SI 35,
including meals and room. Day-by-day
registration is available at a
reduced cost. Complete copies of
the program, which contains a reg
istration form, is available from
the Warm Springs Extension office,
or call 553-3238.
Help your child understand money
Four- and five-years-olds can
understand that parents work and
usually are interested in what that
work is. A visit to the workplace
helps children know what you do
and why you have to be away from
home. Be sure to check with your
boss before your child visits.
If you are a homemaker, you
work at home. Don't tell children
you don't work. Share with them
what you do and how it contributes
to the family.
Shopping experiences. The pre-
I CAN STAND WHAT I KNOW.
IT'S WHAT I DON'T KNOW
THAT FRIGHTENS ME.
Francis Newton
Recipes offer variety
Chill Cheesesklns
1 pkg.(10oz.) frozen baked potato
skins
ltbsp. chili powder
Vi c. shredded cheddar cheese (6 oz.)
c. sliced tomato
Preheat oven at 425. Line 8 or 9
inch cake pan with foil. Add potato
skins, skin side down. Bake until
crisp, about 12 minutes. Remove
from oven and sprinkle with chili
powder. Fill skins with cheddar
cheese, then top with tomato. Bake
until cheese is melted, about 5
minutes. If desired, served topped
with sour cream.
Yield: 4 portions, Per portion: 333
mg calcium.
Summer camps secheduled
Summer Camp 1990
Camp Counselor training at Crys
tal Springs in Priveville, OR June
23-29.
Crystal Springs 4-H Camp
June 24-26, 1990
Challenge Camp Counselor Training
July 13 through 15 at the High
Lakes
9-12 gr.
Challenge Camp at Trout Lake
August 12-16
Sunday through Thursday for a
fun-filled time. Jefferson County 6,'
7 and 8
Gerentology workshop set
OSU Extension is presenting a
Training for Professionals, free of
charge, May 22, 1990 from 9:00 am
to 1:00 pm (lunch provided), at the
Warm Springs 4-H Center. The
Training will be presented by Vicki
Schmall, OSU Gerontology Spe
cialist, a study of aging and prob
lems of the aged.
Vicki will present three new pro
grams she has developed. Each
program has a slide set, video tape
and guide. Topics of her programs
are: "Depression and Seniors,"
"Multiple losses and Grief and
Seniors," "Alcohol abuse and
Seniors." Each program is: de
signed to use with seniors or their
families. suoerb, available from
OSU Extension offices for check
out.
Vicki Schmall is a national
authority on aging issues. Vicki is a
wonderful presenter and has pres
ented workshops in Warm Springs
and Jefferson County several
times. You will enjoy your time
with her.
Professionals from Warm
Springs and Jefferson County have
been invited. Youll have a chance
to visit and exchange ideas with
Vicki and other professionals dur
ing lunch.
If you are a professional who
works with seniors or their families
this workshop is for you!!
Sunny Sirloin Steak
1 lb. beef top sirloin steak, cut 1 !4'
thick
lA cup fresh orange juice
14 cup light soy sauce
2 Tbsp. dry sherry
1 clove garlic, minced
2 dashes ground cloves.
Combine orange juice, soy sauce,
sherry, garlic and cloves. Place
steak in plastic bag; add marinade,
turning to coat. Tie bag securely
and marinate in refrigerator two to
four hours, turning at least once.
Drain marinade from steak. Place
steak on rack in broiler pan so sur
face of meat is three to four inches
from heat. Broil eight to nine min
utes, turn and broil second side of
steak eight to nine minutes to de
sired doneness (rare to medium).
Carve into thin slices. Four servings.
Steak Diane with
Mushrooms
4 well-trimmed beef top loin steaks,
cut XA inch thick (about one pound)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbsp., butter
1 cup quartered fresh mushrooms
2 Tbsp. finely chopped onions
Freshly ground pepper
!4 cup each brandy and dry sherry
2 tsp. Dijon-style mustard
lA tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp. snipped parsley '
Cook garlic in butter in large
non-stick frying pan over medium
high heat one to two minutes. Add
mushrooms and onions and con
tinue cookiing two to three min
utes. Remove from frying pan to
small bowl; reserve. Quickly cook
steaks in same frying pan over high
heat I 'A minutes on eacch side, or
to doneness desired. Season with
pepper. Remove to warm platter.
Add brandy, sherry, mustard, Wor
cestershire sauce and reserved
mushroom mixture to pan, stirring
to combine. Bring to a boil, cook
and stir until slightly thickened,
about one to two minutes. Spoon
sauce over steaks and sprinkle with
parsley. Four servings.
schooler who shops with mom or
dad has many opportunities to
learn about money.
Give preschoolers money at the
checkout counter to pay for a par
ticular item that is for them. Pay
ing the clerk and getting the item
introduces children to the idea that
money is exchanged for goods.
As children get older they are
ready to make choices. Five-year-olds
are able to choose between
two or three items. Give children
money but set guidelines. Perhaps
the money is for choosing and buy
ing one of three toys. Children
usually make this decision very
slowly, so do this on a day when
you are not in a hurry.
When you shop, avoid letting
children talk you into buying
things you don't need or want. If
you aren't buying an item a child
wants, say "no" and stick to it.
When you say no to children,
explain why.
Spending experiences. As child
ren start school they are ready to
spend some of their "own" money.
Around age six you might start an
allowance-a consistent amount of
money given at a regular time.
Children, who have older brothers
and sisters receiving an allowance,
will want one before age six. With
younger children, give the allow
ance close to the time money will
be spent, such as a day or two
before the shoppilng trip.
When children receive an allo
wance they should know what it is
for. An allowance usually includes
money for certain items and money
they may spend as they please.
T :y for the agreed upon
itei... is the costs of necessary
purchases, while the money a child
decides how to spend teaches decision-making.
Children under age six typically
spend money on candy, gum, ice
cream, small toys, books, paints
and crayons, church giving or gifts
for others.
You may say "I don't want my
child spending money on candy
and gum." If there are restrictions
on what your children can pur
chase, discuss it ahead of time. Be
sure you permit children to make
some choices because decision
making is important.
When you let children make cho
ices, they will sometimes make
what appears to be a bad decision.
Before you decide if a purchase was
a bad buy, discuss the decision with
your child. Perhaps it was a good
buy from the child's viewpoint. If it
was a poor choice, help the child
understand why. Poor choices are
also part of learning.
Perhaps you cannot afford to
give your children allowances.
Since you are buying items for
them, let them help in the selection
decisions. For example, let them
select and purchase some of their
clothes. The opportunity to make
and live with decisions is an impor
tant money management experi
ence. Giving and sharing experience.
Four-,five-, or six-year-olds can
learn about sharing and giving.
They can give to a church collec
tion or purchase small gifts on spe
cial occasions for family members
and friends. They may also be
ready to make cards or small gifts,
which teach that time and work
can be substituted for money.
cal bills, double the $631 spent on
someone the same age with health
ier habits, according to a study by
Control Data.
Nearly 65 percent of the 35 bil
lion pounds of potatoes grown in
the U.S. each year are made into
potato chips, dehydrated instant'
mixes and frozen items like french
fries.
There are no nutritional differ
ences between extra-virgin, virgin,
fine and ungraded olive oil. These
terms relate to differences in the
way thee oil is extracted from the
olives. Extra virgin oil, the most
expensive, comes from the first
pressing and is minimally processed.
Ammonia cleaners and dish
washing liquids containing ammo
nia (such as Joy, Dawn, Palmolive
and Ivory) should never be com
bined with chlorine bleach. Mixed
together, they give off a toxic gas
that's a severe respiratory irritant.
Add vitamin
C-rich foods
Adding a serving of vitamin C
rich foods to each meal can help
you absorb more iron from plant
foods.
Many women have difficulty get
ting enough iron in their diets even
though the Recommended Dietary
Allowance (RDA) for iron for
women has been lowered in the
new recommendations from the
National Research Council. Cut
ting back on red meat increases the
problem.
A recent study showed that the
borderline anemic women who
added vitamin C to each meal for
five-and-one-half weeks improved
in several tests for iron status.
Women who had a placebo did not
make the same improvement.
The best way to add vitamin C to
your meals is by eating a vitamin
C-rich food. Oranges, tomatoes,
strawberries, cantaloupe, broccoli,
potatoes, huckleberries and cab
bage are good sources of vitamin
C. Try orange juice, fruit salads,
vegetables or vegetable salads to
increase the use of the iron that is in
the breads, cereals and vegetbles
you eat.
4 ,. Ir- ii
) ;vy
A Ifreda S mith, member of the 4-H Embroidery Club, braids a brightly colored lacra rope. Materials were
donated by Warm Springs A pparel Industries.
m m,m mm i mm.jt m.mm.m,mm,m m m m mm mm.mj.