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About Spilyay tymoo. (Warm Springs, Or.) 1976-current | View Entire Issue (April 20, 1990)
Spilyay Tymoo Warm Springs, Oregon April 20, 1990 PAGE 7 Both stepparents, stepchildren may feel anxiety Did you know that in the United States, one out of every three mar riages is a remarriage? And in one third of these marriages, both spouses have children from a former marriage? That means that not only are there as many stepchildren, but more and more stepparents are dealing with common family mat ters and facing special concerns as well. They go shopping, clean the house, and pay taxes. But unlike most couples, they have to care for a whole family from the first day. The stepchildren and stepparents have to learn to accept each other and get along. Furthermore, the new family has to blend together. Unfortunately, this is not an easy process. Good days, bad days At first, both stepchildren and stepparents may feel uncertain and anxious as well as happy and excited. A stepchild has conflicting emo tions. He or she may be: uncertain about how to act toward a steppar ent; worried that liking a steppar ent means betraying a birth parent; jealous of the stepparent for shar ing the parent's attention; upset because the household "pecking order," habits, and rules have changes, but he or she may also be glad to have two parents like other children and excited about the new family setting. A stepparent, too, has different feelings. He or she may be: unsure of a stepparent's responsibilities; unhappy because he or she does not love the stepchild instantly; resentful of the stepchild for de manding so much of the spouse's attention; hurt because the stechild does not show love and apprecia tion right away, but; elated to be happily married; and, happy to feel the family growing together. There are good reasons for the merging family's high hopes. The parents may be better prepared for this relationship. They may be bet ter husbands and wive hpranse Grandparents You know the type. The grand parent who proudly pulls out all the pictures and regales you with grandchild stories. Grandparenting is fun, but it's more than that. Planting seminars scheduled Simple Ideas to beautify Shrubs, bushes and trees Wendesday, May 2, 2-6:30 p.m. Warm Springs Extension Ofice 1134 Paiute Street Perennial flowers and plants Wednesday, May 9, 2-6:30 p.m. Warm Springs Extension Office Annual flowers and plants Wednesday, May 23, 2-6:30 p.m. Warm Springs Extension Office Questions will be answered on how to plant, and care after planting. Co-sponsored by the Warm Springs Housing Department and the OSU Extension Service Supervisors can motivate employees through w nen a supervisor says, lwisni i. ask ior periormance. ues- 2. Use lots of positive reinforce could motivate John," that usually cribe how the job is being done ment and personalize it. Don't means "I wish I could get John to now, and how you want it to be. take acceptable work for granted. do his job better." Here are six keys to doing exactly that "Spin-a-sound" recalled The Johnson and Johnson Baby Products Company of Skillman, New Jersey is voluntarily recalling its "Spin-A-Sound" infant toy. Al though no injuries have been re ported, the firm has learned that over time the red end caps on the toy may become loose, causing the toy to come apart. This could ex- Looking for adventure? Making new friends is easy for 4-H camp counselors. Camp couselors must be in the ninth grade or above and must attend camp counselor trainings May 18 and 19 and June 12. Counselors are re sponsible for 5-10 campers who are in grades 4-6. Applications are due May 4 for camp counselor posi tions at Crystal Springs 4-H Camp, June 23-29. Information and applica tions are available at the Warm Springs Extension Office. For more information call 553-3433. they have learned about themselves and the needs of a spouse from their former experiences. 1 1 opefully, they have found a spouse who is right for them. Maybeshe has mar ried a man who will truly be a good father to her children. Maybe he has found a woman who will bring out the best in him. On the other hand, it isn't sur prising that there is tension. Old hurts left from death or divorce may strain the marriage. Misun derstandings about the death or divorce may make it hard for child ren to accept a stepparent. They may resent the stepparent, step brothers, or stepsisters for causing changes in their way of life. At the same time, stepparents may feel awkward about living with other people's children. They may feel pressure to love the child ren. They may be anxious about whther the children will love them. Despite all hopes and dreams, most stepparents and stepchildren don't love one another instantly. Nor do they automatically know how to behave toward each other. It takes time to trust, feel part of the group, and learn to work together. Putting it all together There are many things parents can do to bring the new family together. They can: Prepare each family member before the wedding; Spend time strengthening the mar riage; Talk about the relationship between the stepparent and step children; Help the children con tinue their relationship with the birth parent; Encourage all family members to share their feelings. As years go by, many families with stepchildren become closeknit. As with any family, they will prob ably have tensions and problems. However, they also will have much joy and happiness. They can learn how to work together as a family. A step ahead Before a family with stepchild ren starts living together, all its provide special relationship Grandparents provide a special relationship for grandchildren that parents can't. Parents are involved in the everyday struggles of family life. Grandparents are usually above the discipline the worry about spe- your home landscape selection, location and space, Then ask the employee to do it that way. ... . , , anothercold oreven irritated. So pose the children o the end caps, find out what works with each of an inges tible small part, and the your peopei and use it metal axle with a sharp point. Johnson and Johnson is asking 3. Build relationships. This does consumers who have this toy to n t mean be buddy-buddy with return it for a $10 refund to cover vour employees. But it does mean the purchase price and return post- vou should treat your people like age. Enclose your name, address, rea' ''ve human beings. That's approximate date of purchase and wnat tneY are' a"d they will respond mail the toy to: Spin-A-Sound Dest when you actions show you Recall, PO Box 1 1460, Des Moines, respect their individuality and trust IA 50381-1460. If you have any their intentions. questions, or to receive a mailer for returning the toy, call 1-800-448-8371. Add color to Inject some instant spring color into the home landscape with annuals. Now that April has arrived, many nursery and garden stores have large stocks of annual flowers on display. Annual flowers are ornamentals used for a garden effect in a single season. Examples include marigolds, petunias, snapdragons, pansies, summer dahlias and candytufts. Annualls are ideal in beds and borders, or set among newly planted shrubs. They can also be grown in window boxes, outdoor planters, patio tubs and hanging baskets. Although flowering annuals can be trom seed, most people buy members are likely to have ques tions and fears such as the following: The child's questions. The child will have questions such as these: Will wc move to a new house? Will I have to share my room? What should 1 call my step mother? Will mommy still love me after she marries him? Will daddy stop loving me if I love my stepfather? Will my stepmother be nicer to her children than to me? Will my stepfather leave us too? If he and mommy have a baby, will they still love me? If I'm mean to my stepfather, will he leave so my real daddy can come back? The parent's questions. A parent will have questions, too, such as: What kind of father will he be to my children? How can I help her feel less jealous toward my ex-wife? Will he understand the amount of time i need to give to my children? Will he feel awkward living with my teenage daughters? Will my ex-husband make life miserable for us? Will his children and my child ren get along? Will she be willing to adopt my religion? Will she be willing to adopt my religion? Will my children ever accept her? Farm machinery use In the American Journal of Pub lic Health, it is suggested that farm children would benefit from using ear plugs. The consequence of not wearing ear plugs could be a more substantial hearing impairment as an adult. In Central Wisconsin, a study involving 872 vocational agricul ture students revealed that between cifics. They just love, no matter what. During family crises, such as financial, illness, separation, or . divorce, grandparents can be a sta ble port in the storm. Sometimes grandparents hang back, not want ing to intrude. But for grand childrenmore phone calls, more letters, more visits can be a real help. Grandparents also provide a special perspective because of their life experiences. When a teen has a problem, for example, a visit with grandpa can help the teen think about the situation in a new way. "This gift of acceptance and love is a very special link for grandpar ents and youth." Trimming fat is easy Trimming away excess body tat is easier than you might think. The best way is through periods of non stop exercise but at a moderate level of exertion, or 60 percent to 70 percent of your maximum heart rate. More intense workouts are not necessary, and actually are less effective for burning bodv fat. thank people tor people tor it. And praise them every time they improve. Remember, though, that while everyone likes to be recognized, what motivates one mav leave 4. Understand your employees' point of view. Make a habit of lis- landscape with annuals them as bedding plants from local nurseries. When buying plants, look for sturdy, clean and well-branched specimens. Pansies are already in bloom when they go on sale. But with other annuals, look for those just coming into bud. They will bloom about a week after they are planted. Be sure to keep the roots of bed ding plants damp until they are planted. Protect bedding plants from the wind both before and after planting. If they are put in a windy spot, give them protection for a week after thev are planted. The stepparent's questions. A step parent will have questions like: Do the children like me? Will they accept me? What kind of discipline are they used to? How much time will they spend with their birth parent? How will I introduce my step children to other people? Will he have to send a lot of money to his ex-wife? Should I takeajoborstay home to get to know my stepchildrend? Will his children have to spend every vacation with us? Will the children get upset if I redecorate the house? Is it OK to tell her that her child gets on my nerves? If stepparents, birth parents and children discuss these concerns, anti cipate problems, and plan for changes before the wedding, it may be easier to adjust afterwards. Some discuss such issues the first time all members of the new family get together. Others plan a casual out ing such as a hike or picnic first and discuss plans later. In addition, birth parents and children talk among themselves. Making physical changes making a place mat for a stepfather, find ing a bed for a stepbrother, or let ting the child choose the color of his or her room in the new house often helps children feel more pre pared and able to deal with changes ahead. 71 percent and 74 percent of the students had hearing loss in at least one ear. Most of the students with hearing loss were males who lived and worked on the farm. Of those Learn to can salmon Come learn the ABC's of can ning salmon. Also, two canned salmon recipes will be made for you to taste. Enrollment is limited to the first 10 people who sien up. Stress affects Here are a few things you, as an adult, can do to help youngsters cope with stress. Help them plan their projects. Too often, young people put things off until the last minute. Help them focus their efforts on things that they can change. Some young people use up too much energy on things they do not have control over. Listen to youngsters when they talk. Help them understand that time often helps more than any- according to latest research. Try to exercise aerobically every other day for at least 25 minutes. Longer sessions, up to 60 minutes, will burn more calories and speed up fat metabolism. Training heart rate 220 minus your age, minus your resting pulse, times .60 (or .70), plus your resting pulse. reinforcement, tening to your people and asking their opinion before you give direc tions or offer advice. If you listen first, and listen with an open mind, people are much more likely to cooperate when you decide some thing has to be done differently. 5. Model what you want. Approach your own work with a sense of urgency, use your time efficiently, and meet the goals you set. Show employees, by your actions, that the job really does matter, that quality is important, and that dead lines are real. Recipes provide flavorful, low Strawberry banana shake I Pkg. (10 oz.) frozen sweetened sliced strawberries (thawed slightly) I ripe banana, cut up VAC. milk Fertilize the soil at planting time with a fertilizer containing phos phorus, preferably a 5-10-5 formu lation. Additional light applica tions of fertilizer can be sprinkled around each plant at five- to six week intervals through the early summer and watered in. As the annuals bloom, the flow ers can be cut for bouquets, or simply enjoyed on the plant. How ever, as the flowers begin to fade, they should be removed from the plant to encourage new flowering. If the old flowers are not removed, they will set seed and the plant will stop blooming altogether. Use potpourri pots safely To use potpourri pots safely some important things must be rem embered: The Bowl contains water and spices. Keep water in pot while in use. Do not let it burn dry. Clean outside of unit before or after every use. Do not allow sool to accumulate above or around candle flame. Keep candle clean of debris and candle wick material. When replacing candle, use pro per si?e and type candle to avoid How much credit is too much How much credit can you attord? Some experts suggest that your consumer debt level should not exceed 20 percent of your income. There is a more accurate method of computing an acceptable amount of credit debt. Try reviewing your household's budget to determine how much money you have each month that could go toward a credit obligation. The overuse of credit can lead to financial problems. Your use of credit may be out of requires earplugs who weren't exposed to farm mach inery, 46 percent suffered hearing loss to some degree. Most hearing loss occurred at high frequencies. For this reason, If you have any questions, please call us at our new office, 553-3238, 1 1 34 Paiute St. Workshop is Monday, April 30 at 6:30 p.m. at the 4-H Center. Sign up now! children too thing else when depression gets them down. Let them know you care about them. Let them know when they're doing well. Young people just like anyone else love to hear words like, "I'm proud of you..." Believe it or not In a recent survey of 1 1,419 stu dents in 20 states, the Center of Disease Control found the follow ing concerning risky behavior among U.S. adolescents: One-half of the teens surveyed report using tobacco and alcohol. One-third of the teens have ser iously contemplated suicide. One-half of the teens do not wear seat belts regularly. One-third have ridden in a car in the last month with a driver who had used drugs or alcohol prior to driving. modeling 6. Refuse to accept poor perfor mance. Though textbooks on mot ivation seldom admit it, supervi sors do have to tell employees when their performance is not acceptable. Sometimes this means a reprimand. At other times you can handle it through coaching. But either way you're demonstrat ing that standards matter and that, in itself, is motivational. As the old saying has it, "It's better to aimfor'Excewllence'and hit 'Good' than it is to aim for'Good'and hit 'Average.' " I tsp. lemon juice Va C. nonfat dry milk In an electric blender combine straw berries, banana, milk, lemon juice and dry milk. Blend until smooth and thick. Serve immedicately in tall glasses. Yield: 3 glasses ( 10 oz. each) Per portion: 228 mg clacium Low-calorie strawberry cheesecake C. fine graham cracker crumbs 13 C. and 2 tsp. sugar 2 tbsp. butter, melted 1 lb I percent milkfat cottage cheese xh C. nonfat dry milk 3 eggs 2 tbsp. lemon juice 2 twp. pure vanilla extract Information Provided By: OSU Warm Springs Extension 1134 Paiute Street PO Box 430 Warm Springs, OR 97761 (503) 553-32383239 excessive soot build-up. Avoid using candle in metal cup. Place unit in a clear and open area free from drafts or flammable materials. Never leave a burning potpourri unit (or any burning candle) un attended. If the unit should flare-up, smother the flames with a wet cloth. Do not throw water on the flame. control when: You allow some bills to hold over to the next month because you don't have enough money. You pay only the minimum due on charge accounts. You have to charge purchases more than you like because of lack of cash. You take out a new loan before old ones are paid off. You cut back on necessities in order to pay installments. researchers from Marshfield Clinic in Marshfield, Wisconsin credited hearing loss at high frequencies to machinery noise. The ear most frequently affected among students living and working on the farm was the left ear. Pre vious studies have shown that "a tractor driver's left ear is most exposed to engine noise because he obvserves his work by looking over his (right) shoulder." Sound levels of tractors and other farm implements were found to have "emitted noise at levels above those set by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration. It is important to note that these stand ards are primarily meant to apply to adults, the report said, suggest ing that the high noise levels may be even more damaging to children." What can be done? Audiologist James Lankford, Northern Illinois University, suggest wearing ear plugs and having regular hearing tests. Also, "sealing sound leaks in tractor and combine cabs and shut ting doors and windows can reduce noise by 20 decibels, enough to prevent permanent hearing dam age." If you have any further ques tions James Lankford can be con tacted at (815) 753-6157. Try low-cal Sip on low-cal beverages. Try mineral water or tap water with a slice or two of lemon or lime or low-cal pop, ice tea or herbal tea. The liquid in your stomach will help keep you from feeling hungry. Water is an excellent food for the body water helps cleanse the body of waste products. If you overindulge at dinner, try to take a walk afterward. You'll burn up calories, speed up the metabolism and avoid indigestion. Donations needed Please Help Us! The new 4-H Garden Club is asking for dona tions to get our club started. This club will be for the summer Latch key children. We need: two hoses, four hoes, oscillating sprinkler, stakes, string, two shovels, four trowels, hose splicer, yard stick and rake. Deb Scott and Mollie Marsh will be the leaders. The club will be sharing the vegetables with our Senior Citizens. calorie treats 8 oz. vanilla lowfat yogurt I pt. fresh strawberries, hulled and halved Preheat oven to 325 F: Lightly but ter bottom and sides of a 9-inch pie pan. in a small bowl mix graham cracker crumbs, 2 tsp. sugar and butter. With the back of a large spoon press onto the bottom and sides of pie pan. Bake for 5 min utes. In electric blender place cot tage cheese, dry milk, 13 cup sugar, eggs, lemon juice and vanilla extract and blend until smooth. Pour into pie shell. Bake until firm about 30 minutes and remove from ven. Spread yogurt over top. Bake until yogurt is firm, 10 to 12 min utes. Cool. Cover and refrigerate. Just before serving top with straw berries. Yield: 3 glasses ( 10 oz. each) Per poi .on: 157 mg calcium 190 calories