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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 17, 1908)
1 WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 16 THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. a Colonel Can't Forget the Good , Old Days of Duello. RECALLS MANY HARD FIGHTS. Hit Treuble With Captain Qlldsrs, Wall at Othara, Came About Ovar Imple Matter, but Honor Had to 0a Prsssrvsd. i" tCopyrlfht, lvm, by T. a MoC1ure.J "If I should any to you. mill," began Colonel liuukor a lie got u rest for bis teat on tlio railing of tlio veraoda ' "If I should any to you tbat It waa a " cloudy da and you aliould reply that ' tbe. heavens were wltliout t cloud, we Should soon be calling each other liar ad Indulging in a vulgar squabble. That's tbe difference between tbeaa days and the good old daya of tba then or raaorttng to fisticuffs, Tba ; popular Idea la thnt man fought be . " "(.QUlNMi UCNKCR, IT IS MOWMKD." cause tU-y were euuuile aud thirsted (or each oilu-r'a blood. Never waa tbure greater uilatake. "I wu recalling toy elxty-!ght duela lut night, vub, and 1 found tbat forty tlx of then came about through sim ple mlaunderatandlnga and because of bo enmity whatever. For Instance, ' acme years after the war I waa relat ing bow I put myself at tbe bead of ; my regiment and charged at GotQ burg. What I aald to my men waa; Now, then, gnllnnt men, follow ma.' Uajah Baacomb waa one of my audi ' nce, and ba. at once took exception! to my language. He contended that I hould have aald, 'Now, gentlemen, If you please, we will now charge.' I - stuck for my point and be fur bla, and tbe result waa that be called me out Wo chatted and laughed on the field, and aa I ran blm through tbe ahoulder I waa never lu better nature In my life. "I waa sitting on a hotel veranda one day' with Judge O'Connor. Tbe Judge and I lived next door to each other and bad been friends for year. Aa we talked away be observed that 'ow ing to a combatlna,tlon of circum stances' to and so bad resulted. He , meant 'combination,' of cose, and I took the liberty of correcting hlra.' " 'Colonel Bunker, I aald "combatlna tlon,' " he said aa be turned to me. "'You did, Judga, but you meant "combination.' ' 11 ;' M'I Insist that I was right In the word.' " 'And 1 Insist tbat you were wrong.' Mat the Judge at Sunrise, , "The Judgo challenged me, and we mot at aunrise next morning. 1 wound ed blm In tbe thigh, and he pricked me la the arm, all In the best of good nature, sub. That evening we were sitting together In tbe same old chum my way. That first duel led to a sec ond. Five years after we bad fought be stopped me on the street one day to say: , ' "'Colonel Bunker, I wish to apolo gize to you.' "For what, pray?' " 'I was wrong about that word, and you were right.' ' '1 knew you were, judge.' 'Then, auh, I challenge you.' ' 'But for whatr - 'For knowing that you were right!' "And we went out and fought, auh, and this time I gave the Judge the point so strongly that he was laid up for alx weeks. There was tbe case of Senator Sloane. We were hunting to gether in the fields one day when be Temnrked how singular It was tbat a rabbit's fore legs were the longest. " 'You mean hind legs, senator,' I corrected. '"Fore legs, suh.' "Hind legs;' , " 'Colonel Bunker, I will send a friend to you this evening.' Fought Like Qentltmen. 'And he did, and when we met next mawnlng ho had the luck to, wound me Is the shoulder and to escape all liarni himself. I bore blm no more 111 will than before. : We had simply dif fered and fought It out like gentle men. ' "Another case. I was walking on the streets of my native town with Captalu Gliders. We had just had a nip together and were the best of friends. In 'calling my attention to the condition of the street he called a burdock a pigweed. Knowing that be bad misspoken himself, I should have let it pass, but I was foolish nough to correct blm. He at once ibent over the plant and said: " 'Colonel Bunker, it is a pigweed.' " 'Captain Gliders, it Is a burdock, " A pigweed, sub,' " 'A burdock, suh "Two hours later A friend of bis called upon a friend of mine, and next mawnlng there whs a duel. Aa near a I can .rucolloct, wu were both wounded, but It niitiie not the slightest difference with our friendship, "On an occasion, suh ou an occasion 1 was sitting lu front of tbe postoflke with Majuu Goodwin. A negro wo man passed us and went Into the of fice, 1 observed, tbat her shoes could not be over No. 2's, Tbe majab said they were fours If not larger. " 'But It can't be, mnjnh.' " 'But it surely is, colonel.' '"I say twos.' "And I aay fours or better.' ' "This time the challenge was from me, There was a covert sneer In the majab's tones, a sort of doubt of my Judgment of tbe size of a female foot, and I waa Irritated thereby. He was expecting my challenge and promptly accepted It, and next , morning be lodged a bullet In my leg. He Is llv Ing yet, and our 'friendship has con tinned unbroken. I may say in pasalng that tbe size of tbe negro woman's foot was No. ft , . "Almost one of my last duels wss fought with a merchant' who was a fellow paaaeogor In a South Carolina stage. In fact, we were the only ones. As we rode along in the dust and beat be fell asleep and snored. After be bad roused up I also fell aaleep, but whether I snored or not U a puzzle to this day. When a jolt bad awakened me tbe gentleman smiled aud aald; , " '8ub, you are a good snorer.' " 'Bub, you are the same,' I smilingly replied. " 'But I never snore.' "Neither do I.' " 'Sub. "'Subi' v "And at tbe next village, reached half an hour later, we descended from the coach, borrowed pistols and bad a couple of shots at each other. My bul let raked bis skull, and his wounded mo In the foot, and then we became the best of friends., Before we parted we tacitly admitted tbat under tbe cir cumstances we might possibly have been guilty of snoring. "As a last case, sub, I will mention tbat of Colonel Davis. As we were coming out of tbe cotehouse one day a dawg bit blm and ran way. "Dawggone a yellow dawg!" shout ed the coloned as he danced around. " 'But this was a brlndle dawg.' "'It was yellow.'. i "It waa brlndle.'.' "'Colonel Bunker, I Insist upon yel low.'. "'MaJnh Davis, I Insist upon brlndle.' "Of course he sent his friend, no could do no less. We met at sunriae, and botb were wounded, and the first thing we did after sheathing our ra piers was to shake hands no enmity, no thrist for blood, but Juat fighting to preserve our honah." M. QUAD. Grown Soareor. ' "People dou't seem to aee aa many sea serpents aa tbey used to," remark ed the guest , "No." answered the summer land lord. "I don't know whether to at tribute It to local option or tbe pure food law." Washington Star. . " The Excsptlona. "Your wife has occasional fits of bad temper, I'm told." "Oh, you've, been misinformed!" "Indeed!" "Yes. She has temloccaslonul fits of good teraper."-Cathollc Standard and Times. At the Blllvllle Danes. "Sal, will you dance tbla dance with me?" , "No, Blll I done promised Jim." "That's allMght, Sal. Jim's busy Jest now. Somebody stole bis razor an' spiked bla shotgun." Atlanta Con stitution. Appropriate Title. , New Arrival Why In the world does every one around this hotel address that man as "his nibs?" Is he some high mogul? Hotel Clerk-No. sir.- He Is a pen manufacturer.-Dctrolt Tribune. ; Kooning Up the Interest. Fuddy-Do you think there la any thing Immoral In dancing? Duddy No, I don't know that I do; but, then, somebody has to say there is now and then in order to keep dancing In fashion. Boston Transcript Different. ;,. ;. "Dawdler plays golf so well be ought to be a professional." ' "Yes, I suggested it to blm, but he says nothing would Induce blm to work so hard in hot weather." Detroit Free Press. .ty: ' " : '-' ' f"; After Big Game and Little, "Oh, Willie, wot yer goln" ter shoot;'. "Indians, of course! You didn't su;'' lose I was goto' out to'buut sparrows, did you ?"-New York World. ' ,' ' x ''.: . The "Bargain. ' Father How do you like your now mamma, Elsie? ( Elsie Well, I won't complain this time If you will let me choose the next one. Fliegende Blatter. A DRAGON HUNT. I Took Plaoe In Turkey and Wat e Groat Suoeett. "Yes, t wunst bunted dragons, and the hunt was successful, too," said a sailor,,: , ; . . ;v "It was In Eyoub, tbe native quarter of old Constantinople. I lived there with my wife, a Circassian gal, Fat mah by name, and, com In' borne from tbe calf one nlght"- , "Caifr - ':. "Sure! Calf. Don't you know what a calf Is? Kind of restaurant where you eat and drink and smoke. But where was IT ,"Iou were coming borne." "Wall, as we come borne from tbe calf Fatmab grabbed my arm, pointed to the moon and give a loud yell. Tbe full moon behind tbe domes and min arets waa goln' Into so eclipse. 1 laughed, but Fatmab aays: " 'A dragon, 0 my beloved,' sbe says, Is tryln' to devour the moon I sbe says. Tf tbe faithful slay it not, there will be no more moonlight,' says sbe- 'neverf "Then, by tar, begun tbe biggest racket I ever bear. AH Eyoub was on a dragon bunt From every housetop tbe faithful fired blunderbusses st tbe moon In tbe hope of klllln' tbe dragon. "When we got borne I tried to ex plain to Fatmab what so eclipse was. but sbe thought I was laughin' at ber. Bo I gave up my explanations, and, with a pistol, eacb of us joined in tbe bunt, bangln' away at tbe dragon from tbe winder turn and turn about "By crlnus,, we got bim! Tbe bunt was a success! The dead dragon dropped off tbe moon, and sbe floated round and silvery wunst more, above tbs palms and minarets standln' black agin the pale sky.. "Fatmab claimed It was ber shot what landed him, but I was always convinced It was my own." New Or leans Times-Democrat THE TREATY TREE. Whore Penn and the Delaware Chlofo Exchanged Tokens. The "treaty treo," the original Ameri can Hague, where our first peace con gress waa held, wltb William Penn on the one aide and tbe Delaware chiefs on the other, was a mighty elm tbat stood at Shackamaxon, on the banks of tbe Delaware river. Kensington, one of the suburbs of Philadelphia, now surrounds the spot As was customary on such occasions, tbe parties to tbe treaty exchanged belts of wampum, and the belt said to to have been given Penn on this occa sion Is now In tbe cdltectlon of tbe Pennsylvania Historical society. It consists ot eighteen strings of black and white beads, and In tbe center are two figures, representing a European and an Indian, with banda Joined In friendship. In exchanging tokens with the chiefs Penn said: "The friendship between you ' and me I will not compare to a chain, for that might rust, or tbe falling tree might break. We are the same as If one man's body were to be divided Into two parts. We are all one flesh and blood." When ' the Indians banded Penn the wampum belt of peace they said: - - "We will live la love and peace with William Penn as long as tbe sun and the moon shall endure." Tbe treaty tree waa blown down In a windstorm March 10, 1810. Its age, estimated by rings. Is 283 years. The William Penn society erected a marble column upon tbe site aa a permanent monument Kansas City Star. The Overtired Conductor. When tbe horse cars were In exist ence there was a greenhorn known aa John who conducted on the Thirteenth and Fifteenth street lines. lie boarded with bis two aunts, who lived on Cath arine street between Thirteenth and Broad. One day bis aunts thought they would take a ride with John and see how he was getting along, so they waited for bis car. Soon the car began to got crowded and passengers got off and on at every square. John began to get angry. At last he became ao exas perated at having to atop so often that when an old lady asked him to stop at Chestnut be bawled out: "I'm darned sick and tired , pulling the bell. It's nothing but atbp here and stop there, stop here and stop there. Away wltb youse all down to Catharine street wltb me aunts, and you get out in a bunch." Philadelphia Ledger. Two of a Kind. "Come, come." cried tbe brusque and bustling real estate man, "why do you pay rent when you might , own a homer 1 "I-I don't pay rent," replied the startled stranger. "Then you own a home?" "N-no." ; "That's . strange. May I ask your business?" . , , ' "I'm a real estate dealer." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Two of a Kind. "Oh, George," sighed the lovesick maiden, "I'm sure I'm not worthy to be your wife." "Well," replied George wearily, "I'm not ' worthy to be your . husband, so we're Just about evenly matched." Philadelphia Press. To the Btrlot Letter. . "Mary," said the lady of the house, "you didn't put any salt la this bread." "But." replied the new girl, "didn't the master say yesterday he wouldn't have nothing but fresh bread on his table, mum?" . The colors on the artist's palette make no show, but when tbey are spread on the canvas we aee their beauty, Geikle. MEN'S COSTUMES. fho Change That Came When Powder and Snuff Wont Out. ! The French revolution bad lu effect, upon tbe fashions of 1H00 as well a! upon matters of more weighty Import 1 tbe tendency being greatly to simplify costumes. Young men in England' adopted the short coat, light waist , coat and pantaloons Inaugurated In Paris by a certain aet who affected tc despise tbe old court fashion. ) Tbe use of powder, made more ex pensive by taxation, quite died out and short bair became universal. . Trousers and Wellington boots, at j first worn only by tbe military, were1 adopted by civilians about 1814, and' tbe dandy of the early Victorian era .wore his tightly strapped down. He also prided himself oo bis starched ' collar, which bad gone out of favor; under George IV, who preferred a black silk kerchief or stock. j . Tbe snuffbox vanished, and the cbar- acterlstlc ornament of tbe age was tbe , bunch of seals hanging from the watcb chain. Various modifications took , place from lime to time dnrlng Queen Victoria's long reign, but tbe form of men's dress practically remained un altered. " " ; Tbe knickerbockers and tweed suit of tbe country gentleman are of com paratively modern date, as well as tbe wide awake, the soft felt bat-English Illustrated Magazine. THE HYPNOTIC EYE. And the Man Who Likoo to Toot It on the Cirout 'Animals. Tbe man wbo wants to test tbe pow er of tbe human eye on savage beasts Is legion, and be affords no end of amuscmeut for tbe attendants at tbe circus, wbo are always on tbe lookout for blm. Often be may be detected standing before the cage of a Hon, gazing intently straight into tbe eyes of the dignified old beast who gazes back with Indifference and finally shifts bis eyes, not because be feels any mystic Influence, but because something else has attracted bis at tention. A story Is told of a man who tried tbe hypnotic trick on an .ostrich. At first the bird crouched down and flut tered his wings nervously, but made no other manifestation for some time. A few hours later tbe body of the man waa found, wltb tbe huge bird al ternately stamping and sitting on It Another Is told of a man who tried to outgaze a leopard, wltb tbe reault that the animal made a fierce charge against the bars of his cage and at the man, and the two created a disturb ance that brought the attendants hur rying to Investigate the trouble. Har riet Qulmby In Leslie's Weekly. - Hard Llnea For Bachelors., "Korea's tbe wrong place for bache lors," said a traveler. "Bachelors in Korea are considered, aa children and have only children's privileges. You. a -Korean bachelor, get thirsty. Ion enter a rest house and call for palm wine. The pretty little amber colored waitress says: - 'Marriedr "'No,' says you. "'Ileraus then,' says she, and out you go, unslaked. "You waut to vote, but they won't let you if you are not married. "You apply for a job somewhere. 'How many children have you 7 Is the first question you're asked. And as soon aa you say you're unmarried they laugh in your face to think that yon should presume 'to apply for work any where." New York Press. The It. Pelm. In tbe moonlit garden overlooking tbe sea no sound waa to be beard save the petulant plaint of tbe mosquitoes, angry at being disturbed at their food. "Come," said the host, "let us go and sit under the lta palm. They won't bother us there." In comfort under the lta, be went on: "This tree Is from the Orlnoca delta, the home of the iWarau tribe.' Tbe Orlnoca delta Is Infested wltb mosqui toes to an Incredible degree. ' The Waraus, to escape them, live In a palm whose odor the mosquito can't put up wltb. . "This Is the palm-the Ita-whlcb makes the naked Warau's mosquito PXoot bed. , A bandy thing It Is among these salt marshes to have In a garden too." Cincinnati Enquirer. Basely Deceived. The Husband You want to know where I was so late last night? I was at the office balancing my books. Tb? Wife It seems to me tbst you balance your books very often. That excuse Is about threadbare. The H;-H'm! If you don't believe me, why don't you consult a fortune teller? The W. Not much. I consulted one once, and she told me a pack of lies. Tbe H.-Indeed! What did sbe tell you? . . . , Tbe W.-She told me I would get a rich, handsome, kind, attentive and truthful husband. Costly Eyeteeth. "I guess paw must have passed a lot of time at tbe dentist's when he was : in New York," said Johnny Green. I "Why do yon think so?" queried his i " 'Cause I heard him tell a man to-1 day that It cost him nearly $300 to gut ! his eyeteeth cut." replied Johnny. Chi-1 cago News. :v ?" , Inconsistent. "Dear me," said the poetess. "I do i't see why those horrid editors Insist on having manuscripts written on only one side of the sheet when they go and print their paper on botb sides." Path finder. .... Fisher Brothers Company SOLE AGENTS Marbour and Finlayion Salmon Twines and Netting McCormick Harvesting Machine Oliver Chilled Ploughs.: Sharpies Cream Separators ' . Raecolith Flooring Storrett's Tools Hardware, Groceries, Ship j Chandlery Tan Bark, Blue Stone, Muriatic Acid, Welch Coal, Tar, Ash Oars, Oak Lumber, Pipe and Fittings, Brass Goods, ' , Paints, Oils and Glass Fishermen's Pure Manilla Rope, Cotton Twine and Sin Web We Want Your trade : FISHER BROS. BOND STREET John Foi, Pres. P. L. Bishop, Sec. Astoria Savings Baa; Tress. Nelson Troytr, Vice-Pre. and Supt ASTORIA IRON WORKS DESIGNERS AND MANUFACTURERS , OF THE LATEST IMPROVED . . . Canning Machinery, Marine Engines -and Boilers COMPLETE CANNERY OUTFITS FURNISHED. Correspondence Solicited. - ' Foot of Foavtk Stmt A SUMMER MM Unfermented Grape Juice absolutely non-alcoholic Concord- ...5oc quart Catawba 6oc quart Welch's Grape Juice Nips.... 10c AMERICAN IMPORTINGCCO. f"ri"',- ' -v 589 Commercial Street tmilHHIHtlHHMHMMIMMMmnitH I THE TRENTON First-CIass Liquors andOCigars Corner Commercial and 14th. . ASTORIA, OREGON J IMilll4MsMllillsMI'lttt4M THE O'EM ; C. F. WISE, Prop. Choice Wines, Liquors andCigars Comer Eleventh ASTORIA, School And a Jfull line of supplies.Tablets, Composition Books, Pencils, Ink; everything that the pupil needs atjprices that will save .you money. We have hired Aplenty of EXTRA CLERKS. : YOU WON'T NEED TO WAIT. WHITMAN'S Free Rulers You want the best money can buy in food, clothing, home comforts, pleasures, etc., why not in education? Portland's Leading Business College offers such to you and at no greater cost than an inferior school. Owners practical teachers 1 More Calk than we can fill Teachers actual business men In session the entire year Positions guaranteed graduates " Catalogue "A for the asking I. M. WALKER, Pres. O. A. BOSSFP .Ml, Secy. VS2 Commercial Street and Commercial OREGON BOOK and Blotters Books STORE
