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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 15, 1883)
r NIGHT. The pla mil illrnt night a. i ri-t bfr maiille o'er Ibe burning weii, iid Hilled ll" tumuli of the wutld of light piep Iuto rel. . On dark and letdn r,lnmee, ,h. tiu!it dr.m athrt tno cioalng ikjr, tml lu in gih"H' wl'd "' ut glooiai A" ller ktiKduMTn lie. And frnra tba mltly Urand. t'io ziphy" 8 ,,tlu 1 "T '"r"? " driven An (Lie veil. where dim and ilUUnt, sleud m Ibe bills ol heaven. And, bwaklng from rcpote, Tho dawD QUI"'1"! through the dsikj tcrot'O. .... , illume liio bi-erone of the eli y cloie " ,'llbl!lltlM(, VltbRtUen luitredlm, Thecrenceot nio.w li hovering ou high. ii..r iale light lrir lug tl .wly v et the rim ' Of ibu oiue kjr. Btnealh the bounding rch, 1 wati'hed lb glowing ryili-ain.)j run, All oa-alng I" agraud triinrihal march, y To unci tbu tuu. And o I wait alone rntll the glorv of 'he nlnht lnn. nrawd, An J the red exg'e mouutt hi bl i.ug ihroue lu Ibe far law. -Edward C. Hill. HUTU'S ritOFLSSOR. Hillsbcro pooplo wero very musical. Thev took short trips to Boston very of ten.to attend conoe'r's nud oporas, and when the teachers catue out to Hillsboro they wero always buio to obtain a good class. professor Buhr held a two weeks' con vention, und meant to wind up with an entertainment at the First Church (no mutter what the denomination was) in which all the leading singers were to tako parts. Now thereongbtto beharony among ihe musicians; but there isn't always. There wasn't in Iiillbboro just at pres ent. Miss Lucy Slemnious had been the leading soprano for several yoars. Not betauae she deserved to be.but because, like a good many other peoplo in this coucoited little world, site has assumod the place herself and wouldn't be put down. Professor Buhr, with his quiet Ger man manner, and his shurp, far-seeing German eyo, saw through Miss Slem mons directly, and bore with her arro gant ways very patiently all through the convention. It was true that several timeB.whon he wantod a difficult passage interpreted, he called sweet, brown-eyed Ruthie Gor don to the piano to sing it, and never op peared to notice that Miss Slemmons sulked the rest of the evening and would not sing. , Still he gavo her quite place and at tentions enough to sutisfy any reasona ble woman. But Miss Lucy wasn't rea sonable and wouldn't be satisfied. Sho was mad enough to tear Ruthio's pretty brown hair out; but she meant totally to eclipse her on the night of the grand concert, and so now, when tho salky fit was over, sho could afford to smile ana be gracious. "I do hope to goodness Professor Buhr will put Ruth in first soprano, and leave Lu Slemmons clear out, ' said tho lead ing alto, when thoy were discussing the probabilities on rehearsal night. "So say I, Miss Clement," remarked tho best basso. "But don't believe he'll do it. The Slemmons is too strong to be put down," returned tho tenor. "Strong she muv be sweet sho isn't," said the basso. "And I think I know what Professor Bahr will do." "Well, we shall soon see," remarked Miss Clement, as they were called to or der. What Professor Bahr did do, was to assign Miss Slemmons two or three parts, but not tho best ones. When he came to thorn he said in his odd way: "Mees Gordon, you vill singde aria in 'Angels ever bright and fair,' and you vill sing 'Who's ot try window?' Mr. Braun vill play de accompaniment. Mees Slemmons you vill sing do solo in de nest chorus, and de second soprano in do 'Greeting.'" Miss Slemmons bridled ond her black eyes snapped. "I'll do no such thing," she said. "I ve been used to the leading parts." Professor Buhr fixed her with his quiet gil'Z'Who is do leader of dis class?" he asked. "I supposo you are," retorted Miss Lucy, insolently. "Den you vill obey my orders, or yon vill leave de class; it matters not to me," said the professor. Ruth, who sat silent and blushing, tried to speak, to say she did not care for her parts; but the professor marched grimly on to the next row and gave her no chance, whilo Miss Lucy, who had no idea of being put clear out, snbsidod. But inwardly she was furious, and watched for "a chance to revenge her solf on Ruth and the professor, too. After the rehearsal was over, Ruth went lip to the piano where Professor Bahr was arranging his books, and said: "Professor," please let Miss Slemmons siug my solos, won't you? I don't care about them." "What, you naughty too? No, I vill not let Mees Slemmons sing dem. Her voice is not good. You vill do dem. May I 6ee vou home, Mees Gordon?" "If yon please," said Ruth, blushing hotly and retreating quickly for her cloak and books. It wasn't the first time Professor Bahr had walked home with Ruth, or paid her many trifling at tentions. But as they passed Miss SlemmonB, she smiled oddly. Perhaps her revenge was not far sff. They rel sarsod nighily, the week of the concert, the class duties in the day time, haviilg given place to Christmas festivities. For two or three nights Miss Slem mons was friendly and cordial to Miss Gordon, praised her singing, and be haved wonderfully well. Wednesday niaht she came very early and had a ht tle"chat with Ruthie about a certain piece they were drilling upon, and was very kind and pleasant. Presently she said: "Ruthie, I'm an old friend, yon know. May I venture the least bit of advice?' "Why, certainlv," said Ruth. "Then I wouldn't, if I were yon, let Professor Bahr walk home with you so much. Of course there'a no harm in it; but when a man has a wife, yon know U Ruthie turned white, then scarlet, and said bruskily: "A wife! Professor Bahr is not mar ried !" "Why, didn't yon know it, Ruthie? I supposed every one knew it. Ho was murried five years ago in Burton. It's a positive fact, ond I can prove it." But Ruth had recovered hersolf now. "It does not matter to me at all," she said, proudly. "Of courto he mount no harm by mere politeness. I thank you for your caution, Lucy. I shall not in vite gossip." She- walkod away, and Miss Lucy smiled again. Her work was well done, she thought. She wondered if Ruth would be so distressed she could not sing. But no indeed! Never had Ruth sang cleat or or sweeter. Professor Bahr was proud of her. llo meant to tell her so after rehearsal; but when he looked tor her she was gone. And he walked homo ulone with a clouded brow. Whilo Ruthie, hastily bidding good night to tho friends who were with her, ran in lioni'i and fluw up to her chamber to give vent, alouo, to tho shame and agony which wcro wringing her heart. She could not doubt what sho had heard. Lucy s.iid that everybody knew it, ond it could be proven. And that being true, Professor Buhr was why ho was a vil lain, that was ull. But ho shouldn't break her heart. Thank goodness, after the concert he would go away, and she need never see him any more; and until then she could treat him so ho would uovcr guess she cared. She met him tho next day and was very coldly polite; and at rehearsal sho brought her father with her, and left be foro it was fairly over. Professor Bahr mot her again on the day before the oonccrt, but she was still cold. He meant to speak to her, but she slipped away from him again. "She does not sing one noto till I know vat dish means!" growled tho pro fessor as ho strode away. Ho wag not able to spare a momont ot go to her; but fortune favorod him. The singers were to meet in the small library, back of the main room where the stage had been erected for tho per formers. Professor Bahr was thero first.running over a lint of pieces to bo given as en cores. In a moment Ruthie camo in, leaving her escort at tho door. She would gladly have retreated, but it was too lute. Professor Buhr called her and asked her some questions regarding her first solo. She answered him, and threw off her cloak and hood, wishing some one else wonld come in. Tho professor Btood and looked silently at her for a mo ment. Her cost n me was a cardinal satin skirt, with white satin polonaise, looped at one sido with cardinal ribbons, a sec ond cluster of ribbons fulling from her loft shoulder; rich soft lace puffings filled tho square neck and full to the long white gloves which hid the whiteness of her dimpled arms, while a singlo cluster of cardinal flowers rested in her brown braids. Tho bloom of youth and beauty lit cheek, lips and soft bright eyes, and it was no wonder the stern German heart was moved ns the professor looked at her. One iustant then ho strodo to her Bide. "Mess Gordon, tell me why it is you haf run away from me?" "I havo I?" stammered Ruthie, flushing hotly. "You know you haf! I have not de ceived you! I vill know what I haf done dat you treat me so !" His look and tone compolled obedi ence. In spite of herself Ruth an ewered: "Why did you not tell me that you had a wife?" "Because I have not!" When Professor Bahr was strongly ex cited ho dropped tho slight ucccnt which clung to him. "You have!" said Ruthie, clearly. "Miss Sleninions told me you were mar ried in Boston, five years ago, and sho could prove it, for she know well!" A strange light camo into tho profes sor's face. "Ah, is that all? That is quite true what sho told you. But why did she not tell you that my wife died in less than one year? Sho knew that well, too! I supposed vou knew I was and am a widower.'' "Oh, no,I " but Ruthie broke down here. Somehow Professor Buhr hod tho little white-gloved hand fast in his. "I shall always be unless you premise to be my wifo oud go to Boston with me. You know I lovo you. I have enough to keepyou in comfort. My little liebchon, say yes." "Yes," whispered Ruthie. "0 let me go! Souio one is coming!" She snatched away her hands, and when the group of fingers, who hod ar rived, came in, Ruthie was very busy with hor musio, and Profoasor Bahr was tuning liis violin industriously. But Ruthio's face was so bright and happy, and she sang so gloriously that Miss Slemmons saw her little plot had fuiled somehow, and was ready to bite herself with vexation. But she couldn't afford to spoil her own voice, therefore she controlled herself. The New Year's concert was a grand success, and pretty Ruth Gordon the star of the occasion. And ofter it was over Professor Bahr walked up to Ruth, right at Miss Slemmons' side, drew her hand through his arm and walked away home with her, haopy as a king. About Rattlesnakes. Mr. Cill, of Barnum'g museum, re cently discoursed to a reporter upon the subject of rattlesnakes, os follows: When a rattlesnake first comes into a show his fangs are pulled out, and most all of them think that after that there can be no danger in handling him. That is a mistake. The fangs will grow again unless they ore cut out by the roots, ond I have known of cases where a rattle snake bit atd poisoned his handler less than three weeks after his fangs hod been pulled. The rattlesnakes fangs bend in ward, and are sharper th.n a fine needle at the end. When the showmen want to destroy tbem, they raise the rage of the snake by flaunting a silk handkerchief in front of him. In his nnreasoning rage he seizes the handkerchief, and a clever jerk pulls out his fangs. Jack Draper, who was with Gardiner's circus ten or twelve years ago, got badly bitten fancru had been recent ly pulled out. He took nine fall glasses of whisky at once ana went to sieep, ana mnnn na ri wnka tjd he drank six more. He says the whisky did not intox icate him, ana that be nau a auu numu nui nf thu .rm and a ceneral feeling rrloi n,l drnwsinoai that fright ened bim. Tbanka to the whisky he re covered in two or three days. The rattles of a anuke are not a sure indication of its age, as the naturalists tell us. They say he gets a rattlo every year. Now, I have had snakes that grew three rattles in a year, and some that did not havo one in less than a year and a half. Florida rattle snakes ofton get two iu a year. I think thoy make more rattles when they are well fed and in a warm place. Rattlesnakes in captivity nro not as voracious as other snakes. Fifteen mice will fee l a good sized snake for a month, but if you tempt him he will eat double that number. Iu his natural state he lives ou his fat in the winter, and in captivity a snake h is been kuown to live more than a your without food. Fungless snakes caunot kill their game, aud I have put them in a cugo with a snake witli fangs and havo seen them strike their gamo for them. If I hud killed the mouse or rut nothing would have prevailed upon the snako to eat it. Did you ever know thut rattlesnakes commit suicide? Well, they do. When we catch them we use a crotched ttick und aim to fit the crotch just behind tho head. Sometimes wo we get it too fur back, aud that gives tho suuko u chance to bite himself. When ho sees that he has no chance to escape he bites himself and is dead within half au hour. If ho gets bitten by auolher snako he glidos off at full spued to a niardh, where ho will find a certain weed a sure antidote. The toads know of this remedy also, and often use it after being bitten. Wo aro apt to despise those lowly reptiles, but thoy have good pluck aud often foil tho rattlesnakes. Are rattlesnakes good to cat? Well, their flesh tastes like sucking pig and is porfoctly transparent. I nover made a practice of eating it, but I havo tasted it fried and have no hesitation iu saving that it was delicious. (iot tho Wrong Man. Few men aro better known in the dry goods district thau J. E. Pluck, who has for years been New York resident buyor for a largo Western firm, yet might be mistaken for a countryman. On Tuesday he w approached near the City Hull park ty a "Blick young man," as he af terwards described him, whoso faco was unfamiliar, but who grasped his hand with great warmth, saying: "Why, Mr. Emerson, I am glad to see you; how long have you been in the city?" "Sinco Saturday,"answored Mr.Pluck ; "but really, you hove tho advantage of me, I don't remember your face." "Well, I am a little surprised ot that," said tho stranger,with a hurt expression. "I used to live in the second house from yon in Greenville." "Sho! Why, so you did," said Mr. Pluck. "Why, yes, certainly. Why, that was before Uncle Josh ili.'d and left mo his, farm out on tho turupiko road. You remember Uncle Josh, don't you? Middle agod man with crooked teoth. Never got marriod you know, ond never had no one but mo to leave the farm to. Reckon he wouldu't ha' left it to mo if he had had. Ho was dreadful crabbed, you remember?" "Yes," said the sleek young man, who was beginniug to look a littlo wild. "Yes, ho was dreadfully crabbed," continued Mr.Pluck, talking aud walk ing rapidly. "You remember how ho busted up tho Buellin' match that night you aud Nath Galo was a bavin' of it nip on' tuck, you don't?" "Yes, certa"iuly,"said the young inon, with a somewhat nervous laugh. "But what brings you to tho city? You dou'i comevery often, do you?" "No," said Mr. Piuek, "I hain't been down before for ton year como tho week afore Christmas, but I bad to como now, right in hayin' time, too." "How was that?" with a great show of interest. "Why you remomber that team I used to drive, don't you? The cream colored mule an' tho old sjrrel mare?" "Ob, yes." "Well, I lost my mule, ou' I've come down to see if I can't get another one." "That's lucky," said tho young man, very briskly, "for I've got a friend that's got a mule he want's to soil; may he you can trade." "Like as not," said Mr. Tluck, "Jot's go see him." They turned into Reade street, and as they walked the young man asked, "How did you loso your mule?" "Broke his back," said Mr. Pluck, shortly. "Woll, that was rather remarkable. How did be break it?" "Trying to scratch his tail with his ear. Good morning," said Mr. Pluck, and without turning his head be walked iuto a large dry goods store. New York Herald. reregrlnallon In Fevers. The premonitory stage of yellow fever is chatacterized by an intense longing for refrigoration fresh water, cold wa ter, cooling fruits, or fruit extracts. Tho fever dreams of an aguo patient are crowded with visions of tree shado and brooks. Even chills ore occompanied often by a burning thirst, and during the cold stage of on intermittent fever, the temperature of the system is actually higher than during the sweating stage according to Dr. Francis Home, re spectively 104 and 90 degroes. In tho first place, remove tho patient to tho airiest available room in the house. The art of houso cooling seems to have been lost with the ancient civilization of Southern Europe. There is not a room in the narrowest alley of the Naples Jew quarter where open windows and ten cents' worth of Ice would fail to lower the lower the temperature from twenty to thirty degrees below the outer at mosphere. Create a draught and if it is possible, a cross-draught, without fear that the admission of air from a sun blistered court yard would make the room equally uncomfortable. The ther mal contrast itself will create an air cur rent, and that draught will be cooler to feeling than the stagnant air of an ac tually lower temperature. The shade of a leafy tree is never more grateful than when the surrounding trees tremble under the rays of a vertical sun. The evaporation of ice water, or even of com mon cistern water, will greatly aid the good work. Pour it into flat bosins.tubs, eto.. and place tbem in the center of the room, or get a wheelbarrow fall of glazed bricks, that can bj procured at any pottery, put them close together on the floor, and sprinkle them from time to time with cold water. The water will sink into the porous mass and ovapor orate more r.ipidly thau from an imper vious surface. A bundle of bathing sponges, or a sheaf of bulrushes, sun ponded from die ceiling and spriukled from timo to time, will serve tho sumo purpose; aud, whero ice is cheap, a dog's day sirocco can bo easily rod need to an April breeze. But the best time to be gin tho refrigeration cure is an hour after minuet. Ou this continent alone, the night air superstition cos's annually tho lives of about tiftecu thousand human beings; for at least ono-half of tho thirty thousand North Americans who succumb every year to yellow fever, aguo and cougestivo chills, could huvt saved themselves by opening their bed room windows. Dr. Felix Oswald, in Popular Soieueo Monthly for August. A New Orleuns Legend. ANoiv Orloaus correspondent of tho Nashville American writes as follows: There is no portion of Now Orleans so full of iuterest to strangor or resident as that which o stranger prettily called "tho New Orleans of tieorgo W. Cable." Its old red-tiled cottage-houses, somo with grout nveehanging roofs that servo as a sort of awning, w ith high balus trades of tiles set on end, forming on odd decorution around tho edgo of tho roof, are pretty to look upon. Timo has soft ened tho angularities iu these small houses, the winds of many years havo blown a rich soil upon thoir tops, as wit ness I passed a cottage on Bourbon street the other day, upon tao tilo I roof of which grow, in "luxurious profusion, golden rod, each stalk nt least four feet high. Far down upon the corner of Royal and another street stands a big square house built in old French style. It is five stories, ond although thero are great scars upon the great stono walls, ond the ornate carvings over the peaked tops of the small panod windows aro beginning to crumble off, it is a building whoso architectural features uttract tho atten tion of all tho Bight-hunting strangers. About fifty-five years ogo this house b donged to a wealthy old Frenchwoman w hom ono may call Mme. La-laurel. Sho owned many slaves, und whon sho went to live in hor Royal street rosidonco she furnished some of the rooms in grand Btylo. That the madame was a she dovil, who tortured her slaves, nil tho town was beginning to know. There was a deep well in the back yard, iu which it was said fche hung tho negroes, oven to the little babios, suspending thorn by the nrms so thut the blaok, cold, foul smelling water came up to their lips, and there thoy hung till almost dead. If thoy died in the wator, especially tho babios, who could not naturally endure much of such treatment, tho body was weighted, the rope cut, and tho poor, freed darkey sunk swiftly out of siglit. In a room ou tho lower floor of the houso Mme. La lanrol had built a sort of dungeon a brick room inside ot a brick room. It bus one window, with iron gratings across it, and is as black and awful looking ns any dungeon you can imagine. -The floors in this echoing old building aro full of murderous-looking stains; and to day, if water is thrown upou them, they come out blond-red. It was up in tho garret, though, thut the worst torturing was dono. Huro this blood-thirsty old woman, so they say, upou tho loast provoeution, used to tako her negroes, tio them to the walls or nail them by the hands down to the floors, and then amuse herself by cutting off their ears, touring out their uiiiis, and cutting out their tongues. Ono night thero came a hoarso roar blowing down the narrow length of Royal streot, ond toward midnight o black crowd of hu man beings that nwful result of an out raged community, a mob surrounded that Btately. grim building. Tho old French mistress listonod in scorn to tho storm-like clamor, until tho tumult of pooplo appnrontly oame to a halt under her own windows, ond sho heard hor own nanio cried out with throats for hor of tho torture. She sprang down the oakon stairway, across the marble hall, past tho dungeon, then full of fostering wrutchos, pust the well of wator thoy say tho reason 'tis so black to-duy is owing to tho littlo negro babies on the bottom and un loosing the heavily barred back gates, sho made her way to tho rivor sido. She dodged her pursuers aud crossed the river in a canoo. Finally she es caped to Franco, whoro sho afterward died. They Bay the mob, oftor freeing the negroos, fairly gutted the houso. Of course the place is haunted. By all the laws of sensationalism it could not but bo o place whoro black ghosts walk. The building wan once used as a public high school, but tho parents of the girls were superstitious aud would not allow their duughters to cross tho threshold of tho place, so it was abandoned. Au Engaged Seat. It was a day when everybody was tired and anxious to sit down that a large man, carrying a gripsack, boarded an eastern railroad train, and, after walk ing through several crowded cars, finally found a vacant Beat, and, seating him solf, placed tho bag on the oushion at his side. Just as the train was about to start, another man entered and made the same journey in search of a seat. As he stopped inquiringly before the large man, the latter said: "This seat is en gaged, sir; a man just stepped out, but will return in a moment; he left his bag gage here as a claim to tho soat." "Well," said the second traveler, frankly, "I'm protty tired, and. if you don't objoct, I'll just sit down here and hold his bag for him till be returns," and, without ceremony, this he proceeded todo. Then the large man, who was laaod for Lynn, earnest'y prayed within the inmost chambers of his little heart that his companion right get off at Somor villa, or Everett, or Chelsea, anywhere but Lynn or a station beyond. And the tired man thanked his stars for even a moment's rest, expecting every second to be ousted by the owner of tho grip sack. The train moved out from the station. In vain did the large man try to read, the stranger's ticket to see what his destina tion was. Somerville was reached, but the stranger sat quietly in his place, and the largo man grew nervous. The train stepped at Everett, and still the stranger still held fast to the bag, and never offered to stir. The agony of the large man was simply frightful, bat be saw that be could do nothing bat grin and boor it, and get out of the fix as best lie could. But thu stranger hud by this tini.t I ally gnspcil tlio situation ami though thankful for his seat, determined to pun ish the unaccommodating pig for his sol fish deception. H , when Lynn was reached, tho largo man put forth his hand for his bag, bt the stranger drew back tho nanio with an expression of sur prise, saying: "I beg your pardon, sir, but this is not your baggage." "But it isn't yours," stammered the owner, blushing. "To bo sure, Put I propoee to seo it returned to the proper person. IL're, conductor, here's a man w ho wants to run off with this huggago that doesn't belong to him. Somebody put it iu tho seat to soeuro a place, mid evidently got left at Boston, for ho hasn't claimed it, and now this man wants to run away with it," and ho gave tho conductor a wiuk, aud, us that ollleial know the stranger personally, ho understood the wink, aud promptly replied: "The only thing to do is to return the bag to Boston and storo it among tho un claimed baggage." "But," expostulated tho large man. "Hold on, there," said tho conductor, showing ii poli 'o badge; "none of this. What kind of a man ivus it who left the bug?" And thi n tho stranger and tho conduc tor aud ono or two sympathizing passen ger combined to oonfuso tho large man, and ho. bating to confess to his piggish ness, and knowing not what to do, pre cipitately tied, amid the frowns and sighs of tho observers ut his wickedness. But tho stranger, with a happy, contented smile, had the bug returned to Boston, where tho largo man had to cumo next day and identify it. The moral to this truo tale is obvious. Boston Globe. EbTCATIimi, XOTES. William Mather, of Manchester, Eug., is visiting this country for tho purpose of learning something of tho methods of instructiou iu voguo hero. The Hartshorn Memorial eollogo for young women, about to bo established ut Richmond, Vs., will aim at giving its pupils a biblical and moral training, as the fonndution of all true education. Tho Ann Arbor high school wantod a toucher of Euglish and elocution, but of tho 1400 students of Michigan university, which is itself at Ann Arbor, not ono could be found competent for tho situa tion. Kentucky is a great state. It is hope lessly domocratic, raises fast horses aud beautiful women, and has fertilo fields, but it only pays the beggarly sum of $1 40 por capita for the purpose of edu cation. In Jersey City thero are 50,000 chil dren between tho ages of flvo and eigh teen yoars, whoso education by low is mado compulsory. Tho public- sohools can only accommodate 14,000 pupils. About tho samo number ot children re ceive instruction in private sohools. Tho rest of the school population is nec essarily excluded from tho public sohools foi want of room. The Foundation or tiiaraeler. The ground-work of nil manly charac ter is veracity. Thut virtue lies at the foundation of everything solid. How common it is to hear parents say: "I havo faith iu my child so long as ho speaks tho truth. Ho may havo muny faults, but I know ho will not deceive mo. I build on that confidence." They are right. It is lawful ond just ground to build upon. And that is a bountiful confidence. Whatever errors temptation may betray a child into, so long as bruve.open truth remains, thore is some thing to depend on, thero is anchor ground, thero is substance about tho center. Meu of tho world feel so about one another. They can bo tolerant and forbearing so long as thoir orriug brother is truo. It is tho fundamental virtue. Ordinary commcrco can hurdly proccod a step without a good measure of it. If wo cannot buliovo what others say to us, wo cannot act upon it, and to an im mense extent that is saying that we can not act at all. Truth is a common inter est. Whon we defend it, we defend tho basis of all social ordor. When we vin dicate it we vindicate our own foot-bold. When we pload for it, it is liko pleading for tho air of health we breutho. Whcu you nndortuke to benefit a lying man, it is liko putting your foot in tho mire. Worse than Ornsshoppcrs. Kansas and Nebraska havo raisod onor mouB crops of wheat this year, and will havo an immonso surplus to send to mar ket. Should tho Kansas and Nebraska coronl crop exceed the overage by 50 per cnnt.fthoir surplus for shipment will not fall short of 3,000,000 tons. Tho fact has been established that tho grain in bulk can bo sbippod from Kansas and Nebraska stations to tho Atlantic sea board for thirty cents a bushel, ot a largo profit to the rouds. But in view of the increased demand for transportation facilities, tho trunk linos have put their Leads together and- announood an in crease in grain rates to sixty cents por bushel. As the extra thirty cents steal must bo taken off tho prico of wheat and corn in tho west, it will take from the Kansas and Nebraska farmers 9 on every ton of grain thoy sell, making a total of $27,000,000. Now it is doubtful if tho grasshoppers, the renowned curse of Kansas, ever robbed that state during any one year of the amount of wealth which tho railroads propose to take from them nndor the protection of the law and the eye of congress and stato legisla tures. Chicago Express. PSALM UP LI Ft Life h real t Life la earned I Aod tbe grata l not Itt goal ; ul tboo art, to dux trturneat, Waa oolipskea of ibe euul. "Not ei Jiyment, and uol aorrow, It our ilrulntd cud or wajr, But to act. thai each to-mnow, loai u beuer ihao lo-dar. "Art la long, and time U fiaettcg-. And our berr, ibongb (tout and brafe. Bill), like mnflt-d druma. are bnatlof funeral marchee to Ibe grave. "In the world'a broad field of battle, In lha blrouae ot life. B not Ilka dumb drlren cattle, But be bcroa la tbe ttrlfa I "l.lTee of great Ben all remind oa W can make ur Urea nibllmr. And. departing, leave btblid na . foolprlnla ua the aanda of lime. "IjXom, then, be na and doing, , Wlin a heart for any fata, Bllll achieving. Mill puraulag. Leara le Ulxr and to wail." ALL SORTS. Newroadingof old advice: "My'son, get money; dishonestly, if you can but get money." Tho Rochester ExprcsH calls fr a now coin, valuo six cents, for the convenience of newspaper men sued for libel. Tho London sulvation army is 8100,000 out of pocket, which ootnoH of supply ing 'sulvution free." Lowell Courier. A boy says that in his composition that "onions aro a vegetablo thut moko you sick when you don't eat them your self." Presume you wroto to your wifo thut you went to church Sunday, just tho sumo us when sho was at home. Lowell Citizen. Don't forgot to purchase a return tick et when you go ou your vacation. It may como in handy to go buck with. Lowoll Citizen. 1'rcsideut Arthur has discovered that tho mouth of a Yellowstono trout is like tho question of ISSt. It is opon for de bute. Life. Tho notion of having your houso con nected witli tho church by telephone, is utterly absurd. How's your wifo to see bonnets by telephone? You can never know what will win tho rueo till after it is over unless you nro confidentially intimate with ono of the oursnien. Oil City Derrick. Oolden weddings seem to bo numerous now nil over tho United States. You must hurry up und have ouo, if yon wish to bo in style. Lowell Citizeu. The Now Orleans riosyune says that "tho man who puts money by for a rainy day can go out aud buy an um brella und gum coat whon tho day comes." I'ho sea serpent hasn't struck any of tho summer resorts this season. But the laudlords nro thero, so tho absence of the sea sorpent is not noticed. Burlington, Uuwkeyo. The St. Louis coopors' striko having ended, the barrel makers will now bring muttors to a head. Even a hoop will turn whon trodden on. N. Y. Commercial Advortisor. Whon the dovil goes to prayors he moans to cheat you, and whou the poli tician is especially anxious to save the oouutry, it means ho is after a fat gov ernment contract. A good deal of commout has been made becanso a Georgia man broke his back with a sneeze; but how much more wonderful it would have boon had be broken his knooi with his baok. Wo havo just roooiyed a sample copy of a new song, entitled, "Put your arms nround mo, dear." Any lady who do sires to try it eon do so by culling at our offloo we mean the song, of course Two hundrod aud four Now York youths under twenty yoars of age have bci u married within a year. It is sad to soo littlo children torn from their homes, but Now York young women kocp reach ing for husbands. "Confidonco," wo aro told, "is a plant of slow growth." Tho rapidity with which a man swallows tho bait of a bunko stoerer and thimble rigger is probably the exception which provos the rulo. Boston Transcript. Tho minuet is to be revived at fashion ablo dancing parties in Now Orloaus, and tho Picnyuno says it will then be propor for tho young lady who always must be dragged away to say: "O, ma, please lot me stay ono minuot longer?" Branches of trado ore to prone to got iuto a flurry) about small roattors. There is no occasion for a panio in the leatuor market whenever an Eastern bull begins to bellow or a Chicogo girl wears a holo in hor shoo. Cincinnati Commercial. Curious exoiso entry. AlexandorQun, ou excise ofllcor in Scotland, boing dis missed from his employment formisoon duct, on entry was mado in a book kept for the purposo, as follows: "A. Gun discharged lor making a fulso roport." Sulphur Springs, Colorado, is a health resort whore two weeks oi?o a mob took four men out and shot them. Tho idea of a health resort in Colorado is a place whore a man has never timo to got sick bofore he dies with his boots on. Hawk- eye. A Cincinnati man, caught in the bolt ing and whirlod around at tho rate of a mile in about two minutes, was resouod uninjured. Whou asked if he wasn't frightened, he answered: "No, I thought my wife had caught me and was running me out by the back of the neck." A Woonsocket man of Boston who went to hear Mark Twaiu, and by mis-1 tuke got in where Joseph Cook was lec turing, did not know the difference. "Was it funny?" asked his family on his return. "Wall, yes," was the reply, "it was funny, but it wasn't so darnod funny." At Nebraska City a livory man waa sued because the horse which he had let to a young oouplo ran away aod threw them out of the sleigh; but he proved by tho plaintiff's own tostimony that a struggle for a kiss was the cause of the uccidunt, and the jury acquitted the horse of all blame. - A New York gentleman rooently gave a theater party and supper, and among the delicacies of the table were straw Lorries at $2 apiece. The name of the gentloman is not given, but it is safe to wager that his salary is not nndor $'2000 a year unless he is a New Jersey bank oflicial.--Norristown Herald. Thero are but two cities in the Uuited States with more capital invested in manufactures than Cincinnati. They are Chicago and Brooklyn. The value) of the goods manufactured in Cincinnati during the past year tbe board of trade report will show an inorease of $8,000, 000 over that of the year previous. "These golden autumn days must b very enjoyable to yon," said Miss Fiti joy at tea last evening, "the beautiful coloring of the foliage, the bountiful harvests, tbe invigorating atmosphere all lend a charm to the life of a farmer, . do they not?" "Something so, ma'am," replied Farmer Robinson, "it is all very beautiful to folks who bava nothing to do but to look at it; bat lugging squash and apples and potatoes all day kinder takes the ege off the real enjoyment, ma'am, now it does, really. But, then, yon can eome and sit on the wall and look beautiful for Josh's benefits, eh?" and he chucked bis oldest son an awful chuck in the ribs. Boston Globe.