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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (July 19, 1908)
THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAX, PORTLAND. JULY 19, 190S. IfL i6lSKE'' "aid th HoUEe Detective. I hat there'g a lot of talk lately about the old soldiers on both Bides holdin" their next meetin" to gether somewhere. D'ye s'pose they could get along with one another for a whole week without fallin' out and bustln' up in a row?" "For a whole week?" echoed the Ho tel Clerk. "Why. LaTry, those old boys could get along with one another for a whole season. They kept airly steady company for four years once on a stretch, and parted with mutual reluc tance even then. In from one to seven minutes after that reunion started Majah Culporter Hlghtower, of the Georgia Jtangers, ' would make the pleasing discovery that Colonel Pea body Qulncy, of the Fourth Massachu setts, knew considerable regarding the proper usage of the fragrant weed called mint, and had Just as much reticence about eaying 'when.' while another gentleman was doing the mix ing, as If he had been born and raised In Bourbon County, Ky. And Colonel Qulncy would learn that a stranger wearing the button of the Loyal Legion In plain view c,ould actually walk through the residential section of Charleston, S. C, without being am bushed with a double-barreled shotgun or a copy of Hardee's Tactics from the i upper bedroom windows of one of the old families. And tbey'd reach an agreement that what happened at the second Bull Run just about balanced off what happened at the first Bull Run, so what was the use of saying anything more about it, anyway? The Boston Ancients and Honorables would be swapping recipes for making punch with the Richmond Howitzers, and test- lng name as they went along. The surviving officers of Morgan's Cavalry would come pouring In I use that I word pour advisedly, Larry come i pouring in from the Blue Grass coun I try with a few epare demijohns dis- posed about the baggage-car, and then 1 they'd opn proceedings 'open' Is an other good word In this connection and In half an hour there wouldn't be a dry eye or a corkscrew In the hall. Anybody who went snooping around looking for the dividing line between JVorth and South would And It in the neighborhood of the tonsils. Get along together? "Why, a sotting of eggs would ho a riotous and disorderly as semblage alongside that bunch of old vets." "Well, wuzn't the breach healed more'n 40 years ago, anyway?" said the House Detective. "Larry, I've been hearing about the healing of that breach ever since I was a small boy," said the Hotel Clerk. "They healed it every time the Gov ernor of a Northern State went down South to dedicate a battlefield monu ment, and it would stay nice and healed until he could get back home and tell his own people that while the South erners appeared to be well-meaning, and had many of the customs of civil ized nations, still their vaunted hospi tality would come with much better grace if so blamed many of them wasn't plzcn Democrats or words to that effect, and we could never hope to have a-truly united country until the, strong arm of the Government at Washington had been Invoked around election time to the end that we might once more enjoy the glorious blessings of a few of those dear old time Rxither ford B: Hayes majorities in the Black Belt: only he wouldn't say Black he'd say Afro-American-Colored Repub lican Belt. And it would be healed some more by the prize speaker from the -yellow-pine section at the annual BY JIM NAStL'M. ' WKt.U dad,' he pluiike the seat Kt.L, dad," said the Kid as nked down heavily in heslde the "Old Pporl." I see. the Kvenlng Express says that I'm to be shipped back to the minors for another year's seasoning. I guess the icuy who ground out that dope can't ee that I've been playing rings around a lot of those old stiffs In the big leagues who are hanplng onto their Jobs with their past reputations." "Now, KM, don't jump your governor belt." replied the Old Sport. "Take it from Inf. success in tills old dump of a world is simply failure kicked to pieces by hard work and persistent plugging, whether you aspire to be the chief head light among baseball stars, grand divi sion superintendent of the financial world or a champion prize fiehtcr. You can take my tip that the guy who js splat tering so much brilliancy around the map that the rest of the world has to wear smoked glasses when they come into the full glare of his presence is a jewel that has been polished by friction on a rough surface. Men are a thundering lot like diamonds; you can't polish out the flaws and show up their true brilliancy with a soft sponge; it takes grinding and rouch usage. "Take il from me. Kid. you can't score a succeiis in this world by cutting bases. And the guy who has missed any bags on his way to the glad goal had a blamed sight belter take the back track and hang up there till he' batted in than take any chances on a putout. In the game of life every run Is an earned run, . and the guy who scores on a fluke will be forgotten when the official averages eome out. I know that when a guy gets to the top the world hands out the slush that his career has been a sort of continual performance of suc cesses, but you can take my tip that a thundering lot of those successes are made-over failures. And let me tell you. Kid. the success that has been ham mered out of a failure will outwear any thing on the market. "President Grant's life was a monu mental failure until after he had passed the meridian, and the business and finan cial world is splattered with failures built over Into successes. And getting down Into your own particular line of work. Kid. some of the biggest successes In the game are failures made over. The world's champion Chicago Cubs are made up of a bunch of discards from othei1 teams, some of whom had been shipped convention of the Wholesale Lumber Dealers of North America, who'd do so with tears In his accents, except that along toward the last he'd feel con strained to add, in justice to his be loved Southland, that if there was with in the sound of his voice any black rad ical eawmill operator from Minnesota or somewhere up there, who felt In clined to defend Ben Butler's outrag eous conduct at New Orleans in the Spring of 1864, he could get an argu ment on the proposition with any tools he might select, from damage suits to coast artillery, biting and gouging per mitted. (Loud cheers and hisses.) "And that was the way it went, Larry. We closed the breach for the war with Spain and on many other occasions, and reopened it slightly, from time to time, if somebody wanted to pull a force bill through Congress or a dispassionate lady historian from Northern New Hampshire felt like writing a magazine article on Andersonville. All true patriots from all sections felt it their duty to heal the breach, but every properly-taught South ern household subscribed to a non-partisan publication printed at Nashville, Tenn., that ran the proceedings of the Confederate Congress as a serial and had a cover design showing a Confederate cavalryman nine feet high, with Charles E. Hughes whiskers and gauntlet gloves and hip boots and a drawn sword and a plume in his hat, leaning gracefully up against an - art noveau design of dead Yankees arranged In tiers, while In the background U. S. Grant might be ob served climbing a tree in a state of great disorder. "At the .same time in the parlor of every well organized country residence from Cairo, 111., to all points north, you could find over the mantelpiece, flanked by the photograph of Uncle Lish in his annual collar and the plaster of Paris fruit piece, a large rich chromo entitled ''Chickamauga," which depicted three he roic Union privates, two white and one colored with bloody bandages around their heads and arms. In the act of chasing sev eral regiments of unpleasant ruffians in gray coats down a steep mountain. "I guess you could still find quite a few of those works of art if you traveled down the rural free delivery routes hunting for 'em, Larry. But it wasn't the old boys themselves that went around all these long years picking the stitches out of the breach every time some silver-tongued orator who was thinking about running for office had deftly sewed it up. That was a lady's job, and tney mostly left it to the ladies. I shudder to think where we'd all be now if the Civil War had been fought by the ladies on both sides, espe cially those of them that were born sub sequent to the close of hostilities. It'd still be going on I guess. And some of the young fellows that came into the world after Lee's surrender have also been per fect fire brands. You could go to a state convention of the Veterans and find some old fellow with a gimpy leg telling the other comrades how he swapped coffee for chewing tobacco with a mighty nice fellow that crawled over from the trenches In front of Petersburg, but if you stepped around to where the Sons of Veterans were in session you stood a chance of hav ing the eyebrows soared off your defense less face by the burning denunciations laimed at the late Jeff Davis by some bright young warrior who hoped to be elected County Attorney as soon as he was old enough, ?Vou see, Larry, the boys who went to the front back yond in 1S61 or there abouts were the first to discover that the Impetuous commander who started out ,to march from Washington City to Pensa cola, Fla., without stopping, was liable to be unavoidably detained on the way; also that It was frequently quite hard for one Southerner to lick five Northerners unless some few of them happened to be hack to the mirrors, and on every team In the big leagues you'll find stars who have been labeled N. G. and sent back to the grass by some team, and they've kicked their failures Into splinters and built It over Into a success. "Hans Lohert, the bow-legged Dutch man that every team in the National League has been trying to buy from Cin cinnati, was tin-canned by Chicago and nobody wanted to take a chance on him. George McQuillan, the sensation of the National League pitching force this sea son, was shipped back to the minors as unripe for the Phillies last year. He is back with the Phillies this year clean ing them all up. toy Thomas was hand ed his unconditional release by the Phil lies as all in. and since being picked from among the discards by Pittsburg he has made a pennant possibility of a team that bad been wised around as being out of the race. Charley Hickman has been tin-canned by nearly every team on the baseball map. and he Is now back win ning games for Cleveland with his long hits, and the Cleveland team is a pen nant contender with 12 men in the bunch who have been picked from the discards of others. Cy Seymour. Spike Shannon, Orvll Overall. Otto Heps. Bill Donovan, Otto Knahe, Fred Beebe, Jimmy Sheck ard. Patsy Flaherty, Cy Berger, Andy Coakley, Bill Hlnchman, Josh Clarke. I could keep right on till the cows come home naming you baseball stars of today who were once sent back to the minors or labeled N. G., and handed the tin can. "But these stars. Kid. have all been guys who didn't keep their failure for a relic of what might have been, but kicked it to pieces to see what it was made of and get wise to the punk snots. The trouble with most kids In this world Is that when they get a jolt on the Jaw they cover up and stall . for the bell. In stead of plugging away to even uj the score. "Now, Kid, you may be right when you hand out the dope that you are playing rings around a lot of old guys: that Is. as far as the show before the public Is concerned. But let .me hand1 you the tip that these old boys have a blamed sight more goods stored behind the scenes than you have, and the public don't seem to be able to see them. But let me tell you that these goods stored In the loft of the veterans sometimes called has-beens by the Ignorant public, have a thundering lot to do with the success of a team. "They may be all In as far as mechan ical ability Is concerned, but their noodle makes them a valuable asset to a team IN WHICH HE SHOWS THAT SUCCESS IN THIS WORLD IS SIMPLY FAILURE KICKED T ; IKIN' S.COBB. raB rlA pi - mm m$MWM . WEED CALLED , -iV -. 4 WV I very young or else crippled up. The Vets had opportunity for observing these things that were unfortunately denied the chosen orator of the younger and I might say the fiercer generation, that we now see going around with his features ajar until he looks like a half portion of cantaloupe In the face, talking about the mistakes of Meade's campaign. "So it wouldn't be as much trouble for the old boys to get comfortable in one another's society as It might be for the members of the A. J. Beveridge and Gov ernor Vardaman rival schools of eloquence to mingle sociably. And anyway the old soldier shines out brightest at a re-union these times. It's-about, the only chance he's got left, to occupy the center of the stage now that so many of the young chaps who know how to organize a dis trict have succeeded in taking the prima ries away from the old gentlemen, who'd always been accustomed to running their political races on the legs they left at Gettysburg. "And these times when the country Is fast going to destruction right up until RIGHT "WUt TflrRD FUR 013 ".01S&. lonsr after their arms are planted In the i grave yard of. the has-beens. So don't get it into your knot jst because you i can cover a little more ground and whip I ! if rara-TYPi-oF-HrnoS' ' ' ' election day but recovering the day after, and when Socialism is rampant, especially among those newly-landed rampanters from Rampantica who haven't any votes yet and everything else unpleasant like them across the diamond better than some of the old boys that you've sot 'em chased off the boards. If you'll just look around and keep your eye peeled that, I kind of think. Larry, it would not be such an awful bad thing for all con cerned If we could see the old boys from both sides of that breach of ours stumping along side by side. But it wouldn't do you'll notice that it isn't these 'old stiffs as you call 'em, who are blowing up in the pinches. They've been In too many of 'em, and you know 'familiarity breeds contempt A kid may blow into the big leagues and play his head off on every chance that comes his way, and he'll make the rest of the team look as if they were tied to a post, and the gang in the stands will get to hugging the dope that he's the -whole show. But take It from-me, that the only thing that is required in baseball is to get your man, and the kid w:ho lets out all his speed and shines like a new tin pan on every chance may get the fans to thinking that he's a whole three-ringed circus and double hippodrome under one tent, but he's mighty apt to foozle in the pinches and 'he isn't half as valuable an orna meut to a team as the veteran with the candy arm 'who saves what little he has left for the pinches and times his speed so he just manages to nose out his man. "So, Kid, take my tip and beat It back to the grass, and don't get it into your knot that youjre shooting the chutes to the down-and-out club. If you rip that blue papering out of your garret you'll come back to fast company a wiser guy. There's one thing I want to stow away in your belfry, and that is that in this old dump of a world you've got to pull off a thundering lot of good deeds before they begin to be noticed, but one punk stunt Will stick out on your record like a mole on the sweet girl graduate's nose. It takes a thousand good deeds to balance one bad one. It's a cinch Job to make the world believe that a good man is a thief,- but you'll have a thundering hard job when you start to advertise a thief as a good man. It's human nature the world over, and It's the same in baseball. One costly error In a pinch will get more notice from the papers and the fans than a dozen good plays that preceded it. So it doesn't matter how much a kid shines, he's got to bo steadied in ' the school of experience before he's the real velvet goods. And while the manager Isn't giving his hand away, m put you next to the fact that he can see under the skin far enough to know that you've got the goods, and all you need is to get down in the cellar for a season and dust them off so you can put them in your show windows. "Now, Kid, while we are on the subject, I want to hand you another tip. You're a good natural hitter, as good as has butted Into fast company for many a season, but you're not showing it cause you're hitting with your hitting ability in stead of your brains. I know that a lot of guys hand out the slush that good hit Andy Carnegie's Society for the Promotion of Universal Peace aoy real good at that, when you come to think about It." "Why not?" asked the House Detective. "Because," said the Hotel Clerk, "every ters are like poets and are "born and not made and that the big stickers In the big leagues are guys who slammed the leather around the cinder dumps when they were kids, smashed the boards off the outfield fence In the minors, and kept right on lambasting the pitchers when they hit the big show. This is largely true, but take It from me there's a lot of guys who lost the ball on the cinder dumps and kept the groundkeepers in the minors working overtime on the outfield fences who quit hitting when stacked tip against the real performance. "The main trouble with these guys who hand out the slush that a hitter. is born and not made Is that they select their ex amples from the guys who prove their rule, and pass ip the ones who put a crimp in it. Take it from me. Kid. some hitters are born and some are made, and others are both born and made. You are of the latter type! you're a born hitter, but you'll also have to be made. Willie Keeler, Harry Davis, Hal Chase and a bunch of 'em are of the same type, so you pee ou are in good company. "Now, you've got a natural batting eye, which Is the only legacy necessary for a good hitter to bring into the world with him, but take it from me that there are a thundering lot of weak stickers who have good batting eyes. To hit good In fast company you've got to use the brains that lie behind that batting eye, and right there is where you and a great big bunch of other guys who are playing ball are shy. "Free hitters of the Hans "Wagner type are the born hitters, and they are as scarce as snow balls ac a Fourth of July celebration. Hans hits wild pitches over the palings just as easy as he does the balls that come in the groove. The Wil lie Keeler type, who chops them "where they aint, are the made hitters, and any guy with a good eye can do the same if he uses his noodle and works at it. "Now, you're getting in the same rut that is already overcrowded, by grabbing your stick at the end and laying back for a hard swing. You're hitting them hard, too, and you imagine that it is hard luck because they don't go safe. But let me tell you it is punk pelting. "You'll notice that hard hitters usually hit certain pitchers to the same field, and the fielders get onto him and lay for his swats and eat 'em up as fast as he reels 'em off. And that's what they're doing to your batting average right now in spite of this hard luck dope you're hug ging. If a lot of you guys who have been blessed by the Almighty sticking a good batting eye in your noodle would only choke your stick and drive the ball into the open spots you'd hit about .100 better. boy in America would be wanting to join the "army in the hope of getting Into a war that could turn out such a bunch of survivors as our old Blue and Gray fellows." "This free hitting is all right on the dumps where the fielders don't play for the batter, but you've got; to outguess the fielder when you hit fast company. And you can take it from me that if there was more place hitting in batting prar-tlce instead of the common practice of step ping up and slamming 'em out, there would be bigger batting averages and less howling about the foul strike rule. "So, Kid, if you're to go back to the primer class, just take my tip and prac tice playing ball with your head Instead of overworking your hands and feet, and take it from me when you hit the big show next season you'll stick. The guy who plays, with bis head will be winning games for his team long after his physical powers have gone into decay, while the kid who has nothing but mechanical abil- ity may be a star for a season or two. tnen his arm or his batting eye goes on the bum and he has to hunt up a job ten d i n g bar. Look over the 11 st and you'll see that the veterans who are stick ing in the game today while their com panions of the past are down and out are the guys who use their noodles. Go back to the grass. Kid, and get wlse.'t A Constant Reminder. He had Just presented her with a pug. "Oh, thank you, thank you. Algyf" she gushed. "It is so like you!" Wlzardr. New York Sun. The world holds many a wizard crw. Hidden in beauty, wreathed in flowers, But I'm (ure. of all you evr knew. There was never another Ilka this of ours. Sorrow, and shame, and want, and rin Th- will spread thm all before your vm: Tou will see where the murkv streams bgin. You will watch the rivers swell and rise. They will open the doors of the home of wealth Though you do not enter, your eye shall see; "Words spoken, deedj that are done by stealth Shall sweep through the citiesv unloosed and free. The marchingranks and the stately ships That guard the outposts and keep the land. The words that fall from the Statesman' Mps, They spread before you, at your command. They will bring the wheat fields to your door The stately wheat, with its golden spears; For you they will learn the country's lore. And count the cornfields' myriad ears. From far they repeat the forest's call And the dying sigh of the slaughtered pine; They bring the roar of the waterfall And the spell of the trout and the whirring . line. And now we will leavw their ipell with you Beware! you shall feel it ere you think; Fo this Is one of the wizard crew That dwell and hides In a drop of Ink. Ninette M. Lo water,
