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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (May 24, 1908)
THE SUNDAY OREGOMAX, TORTLAXD, MAY 24, 1908. 9 f99 xxr z&zr AND THEN HE) HIS here anti-immigration bus I Iness they talk so much about," began the House Detective of the St. Reckless, "it's a new thing, ain't St?" "Not ft alV said the Hotel Clerk. "It'a one of the oldest things we've got. As far back as 300 years ago the old settlers of this section were tak ing a decided stand against the Influx of raw, unskilled Europeans of the lower classes. And before that, so I've been given to understand, the mound dwellers were very strongly opposed to the unchecked importation of the Indians and showed it In a variety of ways. And before that, no doubt, the cavedwellers found fault with the mounddwellers who'd come in by steer age, bringing with them absurd no tions in regard to gents' tailoring and architecture. And before that, the - l ilnasaurus, better known among friends as Miss Dinah, opposed the letting down of the bars to the Thun der Lizard, commonly called in those days Big Liz. And before that well, anyway, it's no new thing in this coun try. "But so far as the official records show, it was the Indians who really put the anti-immigration movement on an organized basis. Right from the first they decided that immigration was a bad thing for a country that was already so crowded a traveler butted into a separate tribe every two or three hundred miles. So steps were taken by King Phillip and Powhattan and Mon tezuma and the other old families to curb the rush to these shores of nar dy adventurers wearing coal scuttle boots and wash boiler waistcoats. But the newcomer had the advantage in repartee. Larry. A gun with a muzzle on it like a slide trombone that could only be fired In clear weather with aid of a skllllt full of live coals, was a purty bum affair, measured by the standard of weapons that they turn out nowadays up in Christian New Eng land; but even so it was highly effect ive as opposed to the activities of an Indian flitting about among the sumac, dressed ud in nothing; at all but a bow and arrow, like a roan-colored cupid. Tou know what happened, Larry. That anti-Immigration movement failed and as a result the original inhabitant has retired a - considerable distance from the ' Eastern seaboard, except when working for the Bill show or the Shagwah Medicine troupe. "But suppose they'd won out? Just stop to think where you and me would THE beautiful month of May 1s house cleaning time in One Store City. While great moving vans In the cities are transporting a large portion of the population to newly-papered flats. In dustrious housewives In One Store City are energetically plying whitewash and scrubbing brushes to long-neglected cor ners, and the entire village is redolent of soapsuds. For 15 years Grandma Peters had thus cleaned house in One Store City, and the utmost confusion of mind naturally re sulted when one day, in the midst of the annual upheaval. Grandpa came from the pontofflce with the startling announce ment that they no longer had a house to clean. "But I've already took up the settin'1 room carpet," walled Grandma. "Ye jest's well leave 'er up, then, ma." the old man returned gently, "an' 'twill save the trouble o" doln it all over agin. We got only thirty days to git out." Grandma seized her Bible and pulling her low rocker to the window, endeavored to find a reason for the incredible thing which had happened to them, while Grandpa lit his cob pipe and leaned up against the kitchen wall. But It was all to little purpose that he smoked and thought. His pension, added to the small sums he was able to earn at gardening, when his rheumatism per mitted, kept them from actual starvation, but remained a serious problem where the money was to come from for house rent. For 15 years they had lived rent-free through the bounty of an ex-Captain in the Army, whose friendship for Grandpa dated from ante-bellum days. Having achieved riches for himself, he had vir tually made the childless old couple a present of this little home, but suddenly he having died intestate, his heirs sold It without more ado, and sent the Peters word to that effect. The news was crush Ing. Grandpa's hands trembled so he could scarcely replace the letter in Its envelope, and he staggered out of the postoflice door into the bright May sun shine like one suddenly stricken with blindness. "How shall I ever tell mar' he kept repeating, "an' her lookln for'ard to all thet garden sass that's come up so fine." Miss Bryson. the postmistress, missed grandpa's cherry voice In the waiting- room that day, where he dally lingered to greet each comer with a laugh and a joke, and, presently seeing him totter so neipussly across the street, she ituessed at once that his letter had brought him Daa news. Therefore, when free from her duties. she slipped quietly over to the Peters cottage, a cup-custard in one hand and a plate of sponge cake in the other. Dear, gentle Miss Bryson! Was there ever a sorrow in One-Store City that he did not share: a pain that she did not help to bear; or a death, the bitter ness of which her sweet presence did not assauge? It was quite In the nat ural order of things that she should find out all about the oki folks' trouble and be the first bearer of sympathy. "It la moving time anyway." she smilingly told them. The people in One-Store have grown out of the habit. but you will set the fashion, and nobody knows what beautiful thing may come of It. As for the poor farm, please never mention that again. We just couldn't spare either of you. ' I'd like to know who would tend the gardens If Grandpa left, or who would help us piece the quilts if Grandma were gone. Now, don't yon worry, for I have a feeling that everything's going to turn out all right." And this was a most -comforting assurance for anybody who knew Miss Bryson. She had been allowed to read the fatal letter, and recalled the man who had bought the house as a former resident SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT be at this moment. Instead of sitting here on a divan in this large, uncom fortable caravansary, enjoying our selves, we'd be bowing down before some small, bored-looking party, wear ing a crown and an ermine tippet, and saying to him, "Your Highness is very good." when all the time we'd know blamed well he wasn't good, but, on the contrary, far from -it. But no mat ter what we thought, we'd nave to say It. If we didn't, it would be less majeste." "Wot's less majesty?" asked the House Detective. "That's it," said the Hotel Clerk. "Your pronunciation of It amply cov ers the case. But as I was saying, it was because our ancestors succeeded I no ve rc omlng the objections of the of One-Store City. She knew him well, and as he now lived in El Dorado, she determined to go and see him at the earliest opportunity. A few days later, while shopping In El Dorado, she visited the new owner of the little home, but found him most un sympathetic. He declared It his Inten tion to repaint and paper the cottage, and then in the event of a buyer not ap pearing at once, to rent it to some re sponsible party, "but," emphatically, 'not to a couple of paupers who haven t paid a cent of rent for 15 years." 'But If I should guarantee the rent each month and should pay for a month In advance right now, would the pres ent tenants be any more desirable?" Miss Bryson asked, and the important gentleman agreed that that was another matter, and so they settled it at once. Miss Bryson talked It over with her friends and neighbors that week at prayer meeting, and. Inspired by her convictions, they agreed that it would be a disgrace to them all to allow the Peters to go to the poor farm. Mrs. Smith straightway announced her in tention of asking the Ladies' Aid to give a strawberry "sociable"he com-, ing week to raise the money for that first month's rent. "I will pay the rent for two months myself." volunteered rich Farmer Ben nett, whereupon everybody vied with everybody else in generosity, until It was doubtful If Mrs. Smith's straw berry plan was necessary after all. Miss Bryson suggested that they keep their plans a secret from the old folks awhile, and Farmer Bennett and his good wife volunteered to take them into the country for a fortnight's visit until everything was arranged satis factorily. "When you return. Grandma. I hope we will have decided what to do." Miss Bryson said, while assisting the old lady Into the big green and red farm wagon. There s that little place by the old mill that could really be made quite comfortable for the Summer months, and there's the Bett'a cottage to be vacant next month." The thought of the last-named place actually made Grandma feel faint, as she remembered the two dingy rooms at the edge of town known as the Betts cottage. She knew tbere was not even a tree or a shrub, or even a spear of grass in the yard to make it seem homelike, but she bore up brave ly, for Grandpa's sake. None knew bet ter than she of the love and pride with which she had labored to beautify their lost paradise, or of the fortitude it re quired of him not to break down and sob outright at the thought of tts pass ing out of their hands forever. When they had gone the painters came to brighten the outside of the lit tle home and the paperhangers to brighten the Inside. And then, in a fine frenzy of nelghborllness. or for the reason that she did not wish to be out done, Mrs. Smith declared they must all fall to and finish the housecleanlng Grandma had started. So the white washing of the cellar and fence was completed by Cyrus Barker; the win dows were washed by Beulah Baxter: dainty new sash curtains for the bed room windows were made and contrib. uted by Laura Prentiss, and a goodly store of groceries by Mr. Hobby, who did not forget Grandpa's favorite smoking tobacco. The furniture, which had all been parked and stored in the kitchen ready, to move at a moment's notice, was again set into place: the kitchen stove was polished, and every thing made ready for the bomecoming of the homeless pair. Indeed, the re vival of affection for Grandma and Grandpa Peters came in the form of a wave that swept the little town com pletely. In the midst of all these happy prep arations there was but one disturbing thought to Miss Bryson the fear that one day a buyer for the little home would appear, and that the dear old couple would be left comfortless. It can be readily understood, therefore how Farmer Bennett-endeared himself to her heart for all time when he came Into the postoffice one day and an BY LOVISS lyDXlSfCrTQN: BY parties holding the rst lease on the premises that you and I are now en abled to reside in a country that Is free, or would be, if it wasn't for the police force." "Weil, if you're askln" me I think there's too blame many of them furrin ers pourln In," said the House Detec tive. "I was talkln yistlddy to Schmalz. the head porter, about it, and he feels the same way I do." "Yes, I suppose he does," said the Hotel Clerk. "And the day after he gets his final naturalization papers, I expect to read in the papers that Schmalz, the fiery American, has gone down to Ellis Island and committed a brutal attack on a friendless Finn. It hasn't been such a great while ago that our patriotic friend, Schmalz, was having his shoes made for nounced the fact of having been to Eldorado and bought the property him self. "It'd been jest like that pesky Garner to sell it the first chance he got, g'gosh, an' then the old folks'd have to git up an' git after all,' he told her, and added: "They're too old to change an sence they've been out there with us my wife an me can jest see that their old hearts are teetotally sot on that one leetle spot; an my wife an' me have decided they shall have 1 to the end of their days an" the rent don't matter much, one way or t'other." Then it was that Miss Bryson came GUESS WE " THIS ilRYIN him on a turning lathe, and thought the Constitution of the United States was something that could be worked up into a sausage. But now he wants to shut out the raw hordes pouring in from Europe. Some of our most violent Americans, Larry, are our newest ones. . Their Amer icanism pervades like a pet civit cat in a steam-heated flat." "There's a lot of people feel like I do," argued the House Detective. "Maybe, so." said the Hotel Clerk. "Families who Import all their domestic servants from England would like to put up the fences, I suppose, against all for eign pauper labor, with the exception of Dukes and Counties. Parties who have to get their help from the employment agencies are more conservative. They'd let in a few of those handy girls who from behind the little delivery win dow and with tears streaming down her face took the man's rough hand in her own and exclaimed earnestly, "May God bless you." After preparations were all com pleted, Mr. Hobby with his horse and buggy went after the old folks one evening; Just at dusk, and to their eager Inquiries as to whether Miss Bryson had succeeded In finding a place for them he reported that she had, but did not like to decide until she had their approval. He stated that they were to be his guests until they had decided, which was all true enough. He also told them that they might go at once and view the Inside of the house, .though it would be too dark to get a satisfactory survey of the out side even with his lantern. And while he talked he drove straight through the town and stopped at their own gate, with neither of them the wiser. They were both silent and sad-hearted and homesick, and reminded Mr. Hobby of two lost children ho had once picked up and taken home. At the first click of the latch, lights CAN PULL ENOUGH RE DISHES FER HERE ANTI-IMMIGRATION ;S. COBB 1 vM are willing to do general housework for $8 a month without any afternoon a week out, and sleep in the basement, but they'd shut out all the others. "As for me, Larry, I decline to get stirred up over the prospect that the European Invasion is going to swamp us. We may get our Black Hands from Eu rope, but we get our hired girls from there, too, and most of our policemen. As long as we can keep a cook at the flat I feel that I can stand the Black Hand. The same ship that brings us the anarchist, brings us also the sun kissed lad that's willing to take a shovel and a dollar and a quarter a day and g'et out -in all sorts of weather, and build a right of way In order that you and I may later go on a Sunday excursion and have our names printed near the head suddenly flared out from every window, the door was flung wide open and it seemed to the astonished old people that everybody in One Store City was there to bid them welcome. Grandma was completely overcome. Seizing the nearest dishtowel at hand she began sobbing Into it violently; while Grandpa, after shak ing hands all around and cracking some of his favorite Jokes, suddenly disap peared out the back door and was not seen again until the guests had departed. Then to Grandma's call of, "Where be ye, Pa?" came the answer from the farthest corner of the fence, where grandma could see the flickering, gleam of his. lantern: Here I be, ma! Do come out here an' see the garden. I swan to goodness I never see things grow so! I b'lieve I'll Just weed out these rawsberries a little, right now. and I guess we could pull enough reddlshes fer breakfus'." If He Is Truthful. Full many a hunter, on my word. Will boast, but should you ask. He'll say he never hits a bird, 'But often hits a flask. Sam S. stlnsoa In New York Times. BREAKFAST.' BUSINESS V of the first column through getting smashed1 up In one of those thorough and elaborate head-end collisions that we pull off so frequently during the sea son. "This country of ours is, in some ways, like an ostrich, Larry. Almost anything It can swallow It can digest. And you may have noticed that the children of some of the immigrants turn out very well. There was one named Andrew Jackson that attracted some little atten tion here a while back, and there's one named Johnson out in Minnesota who has been mentioned in print every once in a while lately. "We're a progressive people, Larry, con siderlng everything. The first generation over builds a railroad, the second rides on it and the third owns it. It's frequent- Pride of the Muddy Missouri Some of the Ways and Some of the Things You Can lo With a Catfish THE catfish. Now I wonder who named the catfish after a cat and why he did so. If there Is any one thing in animate nature that would not be suggestive of a name for such a thing as the catfish it is the cat. The two have nothing at all in common. Neither has any particular attribute of the other. They are unlike in looks, manners, habits, vocal and dumb expression. There is nothing feline, slinking: or un certain, about the catfish. It Is plain, even ugly, to look upon. It grabs what it wants and swallows down for the sole purpose of satisfying its inner self and goes on about its business. The cat is prim, dainty, caring much about its looks, while the catfish is matter of fact, would wear stained overalls If' it were human and does not care a cent about its looks. If it did it would be perpet ually mortified. The catfish is steady and regular in Its habits and attends strictly to its own individual business of living. The cat is an irregular, inconstant, un certain feline and always mixing in and interfering with the affairs of other cats. To crown every difference, the catfish is good for mankind to eat, while the best authority says the cat is not. The only thing that possibly could be suggestive of the cat in the catfish Is that the one Is as different .from the other as it is possible for two things to be. There is a tradition that the cat fish was so named because the flexible feelers" that grow from its frontispiece look something like the so-called whis kers on the cat's face. It is a mighty far cry to any resemblance. The cat fish feelers look just as much like the face whiskers on a dog, a rat, a squir rel or a horse as those on a cat. Facially there are persons I have seen that look a good deal more like a catfish than does a cat. In truth, however, the catfish resembles nothing else on or within the earth but its own self, and it ought to have an independent, " nonprejudice making name of its own. 1 Probably the first man who ever caught a catfish and cooked and ate it he was either a very recklessly brave man or a hungry one, or both was surprised to find It so good to eat despite its look and gave it a name so that none else would want to eat catfish and he would have a never-ending plenty for himself. Any such deism long ago failed, so far as we of Central Missouri are concerned. Certainly with its looks and its name there are grounds for suspicion among the ignorant. The catfish is not the only thing good to eat that does not look thatway. It ranks In looks with the lob ster, the soft-shell crab, the diamond back terrapin, the shrimp and the eel. There are some of us who have eaten catfish and also alt those other things, and we rank the properly prepared cat fish as ft toothsome edible with anything, however ugly or however handsome it may be. Down In Central Missouri the unhand some catfish Is the standard, the staple and the standby among the food fishes. The people there, especially the native born, know where, when and how to catch catfish, how to dress them and how to cook them. And when you find anyone scornful of catfish you can' put it surely down that such a one is to be pitied for the' ignorance and prejudice that keeps him from knowing and enjoying so fine a thing. To Missourians of the middle counties all catfish are divided Into two kinds frying size and too-big-to-fry-whole. First as to the frying size, that run from a finger length to a foot or a little more and from a few ounces to a pound in weight. The yellow mudcats of the creeks are, the non pareils for the frying pan. The catfish of the ponds or dead water is never equal in quality to those of the streams. It is not every kind of day, any weather or any stage or kind of water that one can catch the yellow mudcat in sufficient numbers to reasonably fill a frying pan. One must wait for wet weather, slow, warm rains, a season of drizzle and moisture that makes the roads soft, raises the creeks to a stage midway between low water and bank full, muddles the water, makes the going underfoot soggy, slippery and tiresome and the woods damp and drippy. Then take your 5-cent fish line and your nickel's worth of addi tional small hooks to replace possible snagged and broken ones; go down V "ly about two short jumps from a union card to a family crest. And owing to the uniform excellence of the climate, or something, there are a few of our rich families who didn't come Into their wealth until after the Civil War, who've turned out In less than 40 years a group of mush headed descendants who will wmntr: fa vorably wit nything In the way of idiots 'hat the aristocracy of the older country has been able to produce In more than 400 years of sustained effort." "Yes. but we sln't gittln' the class of furriners we used to git," Insisted the House Detective. "They tell that a couple of hundred years ago" "I don't know so much about the kind we got a couple of hundred years ago." said the Hotel Clerk. "I wasn't here at the time. But I've been told that our best old families never began to brag about their Cavalier ancestors until after the ancestors had been suitably planted so long that people had forgotten whether the late Cavaliers were tanners, or house painters or horseshoers by trade. They may have been Cavaliers when they hit these shores, but if so, the voyage certain ly had a most refining effect, for when they departed from the other side, they were mainly runaway apprentices, or gen tlemen who had too many wives, or not enough wives, or parties who owed debts and wanted to- give the creditors a neat surprise. I'll bet the day after the May flower sailed, the dock was fairly cluttered up with Sheriff's officers and bailiffs that hadn't been able to run any better than place and show. "New blood don't do, livestock any real harm, and 1 guess maybe it's not so bad for a country. When the pallid, pale green son of a millionaire marries the Irish housemaid who nursed him through his first attack of the D. T.'s, or a lead ing society girl elopes with a stalwart Swede coachman, It may cause pangs in the present generation of the family, but there's apt to be rejoicing In the next. And besides, Larry, we've still got a lot of country that's not yet as thickly set tled as a sheet of fly paper in a saloon window on a warm day in August. Or chard street is beginning to look sort of compact, but Montana has quite a few stretches left where a man can find a nice, quiet, open place when he wants to beat his wife. And then there's Texas, which is a good deal larger than It looks on a school geography. Somebody has estimated that thirty million people, or three hundred million, or around there somewhere, could settle in Texas without causing any women to faint in the crush. But then I'm afraid there'll never be that many people from this section willing to settle in Texas." "Why not?" asked the House Detective. "Texas is voting in local option," said . the Hotel Clerk. back of the barn, turn over a big rock or a log and dig- from the loose, damp soil some fishing worms. Put the worms with some dirt in a can, like you used to when a boy, and then gV UUVV1I till VUgll IIIC 1 11 IV, It. VVVUVat) T r whara 4-Via praAlr rilno There you are sure to find a hole where there is a rack-heap of freshet driven logs and tangled and twisted brush. In the water below and above and under the yellow catfish lie In wait for things coming1 down stream. Above the rack heap Is a scum of light debris held back by the obstruction and that is your place to throw In.. Cut a pole from' the growth on the bank. There is plenty of material there and no use to cut a pole sooner, for "totin" a long sapling through thick woods and brush is vexatious and destructive of that placidity of mind so essential to real flshin. See that the point of the hook Is. covered up with the worm, spit on the bait and cast in just above the scum. The slight current takes the cork down to a stand in the thick of it. Rest easy. Fix your pole firm on the bank, light your pipe and sit down on a log. The art of catching sizable yellow mudcats is to keep calm, unworrying and unex citcd. Soon out of sight dives that cork; the line stretches taut, the pole bends. Don't get fractious even now. r.ow l-irtlrl nf tliat no 1a hPMVA firmlv and hoist your yellow, flopping and mildly astonished fish well up on the bank. He has taken worm, hook and . 9s much line as he can swallow into his farthest 'Innards, and you've got to "project around' considerably with your thumb and forefinger far down to recover your tackle. String the captive on a willow or buck bush fork, one prong- two feet long, the other six inches. Do not cut your fork before you have caught a fish. It Is a hoodoo of the worst kind. Put your fish In shallow water with the stringer well anchored to the bank with a big rock or a heavy chunk of wood. Readjust your bait or put on a new worm, cast in the same place again, and in about five minutes out you hoist another fish. You keep on doing this. It sounds monotonous, but there is n mighty joyful thrill and a de licious calm excitement to this "fishin." Keep this thing up three or four hours, and you have some 15 to 20 fat, golden yellow, frylng-size fellows, and have caught perhaps a score more too small to fry which you throw back if you have been well raised. , 'If you have been out In the afternoon and get back In time to have those flsh for supper, you have a good mess for half a dozen people. The right kind of a cook will put a pinch of salt Inside each fish and lay them in clear, fresh water until time for frying. Then she (the best cooks are of that sex) will roll each fish in corn meal until It Is well coated, put them In a frying pan with plenty of pure lard, let them splutter, spat, pop and crackle, turning each fish over two or three times with a fork, until the meal coating Is well browned. Then those fish are ready for the table. And there is no more toothsome, deli cately flavored moreel anywhere u.an a mouthful of the well-cooked white meat of them. While the baking U progressing, keep watch over It, and every now and then when the top of the fish looks dry, with big spoon or ladle pour over the fish the liquid in the pan bottom. Add occasionally a pinch of salt and pepper. When ready to serve, as it will be by dinner time, lay the baked fish on a big dish. Cut two or three lemons in slices ana pi&ce xnese arouna on the dish edge. While these lemon slices are ornamental. If you do not take two or three of them to squeeze over your fish portion you have been poorly educated. -Put the pan liquid in a bow by itself and let the head of the table, the master of these sol emn ceremonies, add a spoonful or two of It to each diner's portion as served. Great gravy! Long live the Miesourl catfish. May he never die save by hook or cook. Kansas City Star. The death has occurred at Sonneriham. England, of Mn. Holdlrh. in her joint year. She wa born in that village on January 11, 1&08. and up to the aire of 18 was so deli cate that her parents feared he would never crow to womanhood.
