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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (March 22, 1908)
lO THE SUNDAY OREGONIAX, PORTLAND, MARCH 22, 1908. i ru.ll.rL V : n N M Some Moss-Grown Precepts of Moss Back Pedagogues BY JIM NASiyM.- CHILDHOOD is the time of life when the man Is either made or marred. It Is the, Springtime of life when the seeds are sown which later yield a har vest of ripened grain or only a crop of ragweeds. There in much truth in the old saw that "as the twin is bent the tree is In clined." and from the way some trees are inclined 1 should imagine, that as a twig they were trained up a crokscrew or an old augur bit. Yet when it comes right down to cases it cannot be denied that a lot of trees that are sticking up around over the landscape would cast a blamed sigljt more welcome shade on the earth and afford more relief to the weary plugger along life's highway, if they weren't quite so stiff and straight and didn't rear their heads so high. The crooked, knotty old lump of a tree may not provide the best timber with which to slap a gable end onto your liv ing room, but I've often noticed that it la' the most comfortable to hang around when you're all in and want rest. It's the straight tree that always gets the ax from the lumberjack, while the crooked one is passed up and goes right ahead beautifying the landscape and breeding vermin afid green mould. This probably accounts for the few straight specimens left standing. Outside of the magnificent tree that is sighing cut these sweet notes to the whispering winds. I don't suppose there are a dozen good Btraight ones in this neck of the woods. This pernicious habit of cutting down the straight trees Is only a verification of the saying that "the good die young." In the days of my tender budding child hood I heard this saying repeated so much that if at any time I happened to discover that I was being exceptionally good I usually went out and perpe trated some awful crime as an act of self-preservation. I say If I happened to discover that I was exceptionally good. This didn't often occur, however, as I early acquired the habit of pulling oft the self-preservation stunt In advance in order to make sure of It. To the care and attention which I gave to this Important detail in l..y early life I probably owe my present great age and term of usefulness, as I managed to avoid early danger of being too good to such an exeent that I am not dead yet. This may or may not be a great misfortune to the rest of the world, but I am too modest to give my own views on the matter, so will leave it for a grateful army of readers to decide for themselves. Outside of my own living manifesta tion of the truth of this old saying that "the good die 5'oung." I should say that Good StoriesTold of Prominent People "Is Generals Brave?" g?g?TTHE late Bishop Coleman," said a I Wilmington divine, "used to take every Summer, a long, solitary walking trip, lie wore rough clothes anil slept In farmhouses. Sometimes the people took him for an aged trump. Always he had interesting experiences. STORY about Reginald De Kovcn, served the bishop in his sermons. Thus, once, in a sermon on peace, he said that if they who made the wars had actually to go out and tight them fight them as the common soldier does, without honor, without hope, without anything desira blewarfare would speedily be abolished. "One evening," he went on, "on a Vir ginia farm, a little farm boy said to him; " Ms generals brave?' " 'Yes, to be sure.' the bishop answered. Why do you ask?' " 'Because,' said the little boy. 'if they are brave, I don't understand why, when the artists make pictures of a battle, the generals is always on a hill, four miles away, watching the fighting through an opci a glass.' " When Greek Meets Greek. ( William 11. Langdon. the lawyer through whose ekill the San Francisco grafters wero convicted, talked, at a re cent dinner at the Hotel Astor, in New York, about municipal corruption. "Yes." he said, smiling hie conclusion was a humorous one "to defeat munici pal corruption we must be very, very as tute: the right Is. then Greek against Greek,: It is the Jockey against the horse doctor. "Perhaps you have heard the story? No? Well. then, give ear. - "A gentleman at a country fair saw a jockey and a horse doctor haggling dreadfully over the sale of a mare. It Interested him to see two such tricky and shrewd character? opposed, and at the end of the sale he approached the jockey and asked him how he had made out. " 'I sold her.' said the man, and he held up t K note. " 'But is that all you got for her?" asked the gentleman. " 'It's enough,' was the repiy. 'She's dead lame.' "Chuckling to himself, the gentleman sought out the horse doctor. " 'See here, friend.' Mid he. 'do you know you have given ii for a hopelessly lame mare?" "The horse doctor wr ged his thin gray beard. " '1-amo she Is. I grant you.' he said. But hopelessly lame, no. In fact, she is as sound as I am. She's badly shod, that's all that is the matter with her. I saw it at a glance.' "The gentleman whistled at this news. He went back to the Jockey and told him what the horse doctor had said. "But the Jockey, with a wink of the eye, explained: " 'That marc is as lame as a one legged veteran. I had her shod badly on purpose to take some sucker in.' "At this the gentleman laughed loud and long. Hurrying back to tho horse doctor again, he said: " 'My dear sir. with ail your cunning, that Jockey has proved, too much for you. The mare is Incurably lame. He had her shod badly on purpose to take you in.' "On receipt of this news the old horse doctor shook his head gravely. 'Well, anyway,' ho said, 'it was a counterfeit $o note.' " The Strop-Hanger. Sir Clifton Robinson, the head of the Ixmrion tramway service, says that I.on donem now desire to be strap-hangers. The tiiglish law forbids cars or 'buses to rarry more passengers than there are seats for. so the Rngllshman. waiting on his corner while full 'bus after full 'bus goes by. loses many valuable minutes. "Yes," said Sir Clifton Robinson at a recent dinner in New York, "they want to ptrap-hang In London now. They don't realise that strap-hanging, too, has its annoyances. v-'l rode on a Broadway car the other day. A. tall Westerner hung on a strap near inc. He was the only strap-hanger. there Is a great deal of solid truth in It from the amount of vitality displayed by a number of people who reside im mediately contiguous to my own holdout. BREAK YOUR FACE- SMASH A PLATE-GLASS WINDOW C'Ol'LD BE and whom I have been trying to kill oft ever since that gloomy day in the mellow past when they first butted into the full glare of my distinguished presence. -The mortality among the growing good chil dren in this neighborhood must have been and he kept looking hopefully, at every ' corner, for some one to get off and give him a seat. "But we were all stayers as you say over here aboard that car. Block after block we traveled, and still the tired Westerner hung to his strap. "His look became angrier and angrier, and finally he blurted out: " 'Say, ain't none o' you people got homes?" " A Patriotic Swindle. "It is not often," said General F. D. Grant, at a dinner in New York, "that a man can perform at the same time a swindle and an act of- patriotfsm. Yet this happened during the war. "A New York sharper then conducted a swindle at which even Washington would have smiled approvingly. "It was at the time when we stood in the greatest nerd of soldiers. This man inserted in the papers everywhere an ad vertisement that read as follows: 'Notice For Jl I will give any per son positive information whereby he may avoid the conscription.' "Replies came fast. They came at the rate of 600 a day, and dollars accompa nied them. "Then an enraged dupe, beside himself at having lost a dollar, took the adver tiser to court, where the entire transac tion was patriotically declared to be quite legal. The answer that had been sent out by the sharper was: ." 'Enlist.' " Drawing It Too Mild. Vice-President Fairbanks, at his recent annual reception in Washington, said of a certain deplorable condition: "We don't need new laws to correct this condition. We simply need the old laws' proper enforcement. "The old laws have been construed too mildly. It Is like the state of things in the Benedictine monks' new convent In Tarragone. "An Indianapolis friend of mine, 'Win tering In Spain, lunched at the monastery of the Benedictines.. After lunch he took out his cigar-case. " 'I don't suppose you object to smoking here?' he said to the white-clad monk at tendant. "Yes, sir, we do.' the monk answered. 'There is a law against smoking in the refectory.' " 'Then where.' said my friend, 'do all the cigar and cigarette stubs come from that I see about me?' " 'From gentlemen who didn't ask about the law," the monk replied mildly. A Specious Excuse. Bishop Paddock, of Eastern Oregon, de clared recently that wealth was God-gtv-en. that same men were "called" to make money. "Bishop Paddock," said a New York clergyman the other day, "Is always say ing wuc. true, memorable things. There is no living speaker who is more .interest ing and more Instructive. "I remember one of his attacks on- a wrong that had been speciously defended. He said no amount of talking could make a wrong a right, and he compared the culprits to a boy he knew. "He said this boy's mother found him playing one Sunday morning in the nur sery. " 'Ob, Johnny,' .she said. I told you not to play with your tin soldiers on Sun day.' "The boy looked up, surprised and ag grieved. " 'But on Sunday.' he said, 'I call 'era the Salvation Army.' " Too Light. "Booker T. Washington is a wonderful man." said a Southerner at the Tuske gee meeting In Carnegie Hall last month. "There is no orator in America to equal him. "He's full of fun. too. Once, when Tus kegee's future looked very dismal, he de clared to me that the great school was bound to pull through, that you never could te'.l from appearance what the fu ture held In store. ' " 'Why.' he said, mentioning a famous colored poet, 'in his boyhood that chap was universally despised, even by his , I X I V frightful, judging from the remnants that succeeded in attaining their full growth. And if there is any truth in the saying that "it is a poor rule that doesn't work both ways." this remaining portion of the population out my way bids fair to smash Methusaieh's age .record all to smithereens, judging from present indications. As we go to press, there is only one good boy left In my neighborhood, and he is the kid who has had the benefit of my fatherly advice and lambastings since 1 CANNOT TELL PiROKEYOUR WINDOW- JUST -TO SHOW HOW HONEST I ABOUT IT. , the day when the stork dropped him in my household. But even he is now in bed suffering with the mumps, and a phone message from his mother this morn ing stated that he is also showing symp toms of the measles and the whooping own mother. Even his own mother used to say of him that "she guessed Jilt wus down in the books he gwine ter be hanged, and she nebber .could bear dat brat, anyways, 'kase he show dirt so easy.' " Not Hard Work. Professor William Frear, of the Pennsylvania State College, discussed in Harrisburg the 83 kinds of breakfast foods that he recently tested for the Gov ernment. "Most of them were very good," said Professor Frear. "The taste test, In most cases, w pleasure rather than work. TO make' work out of it would be to act like a little boy I know in Bellcfonte. "This little boy's mother went, last Washington's Birthday, to a' reception, leaving the baby in Jimmy's care. With an injured look Jimmy said on her re turn: " Mamma. wish you wouldn't make me mind baby again. He was so bad that I had to eat two mince pies and half the fruit-cake to amuse him." Pulled Vp Short. Professor Charles Zeublin, of the Uni versity of Chicago, was reiterating at a dinner his belief that most American phil anthropy failed TDf Its object. "Many a philanthropist, his heart beat ing with love of his fellow man, would be pulled up with a round turn,'" said Professor Zeublin, "if he knew what really became of the last hundred or the last thousand that he gave to charity. "Yes, he would be taken as completely aback as the young man who said proud ly to his girl in the moonlight: " 'Tell me, my own, when did you first discover that you loved me?" " 'When I found myself getting angry every time any one called you a fool," she replied. These Married Men. "That excellent' actress, Clara Blood good, sat beside me one night at a din ner," said a Philadelphia playwright, "and with the fish some one began to talk about wifely extravagance. "Mrs. Bloodgood listened to tale after tale of the rulnou- extravagance of wives, and finally she eaid: " 'Wives' extravagance oh, yes. Tou men are all alike. You are all like the broker who. at midnight, in his club, hic coughed, wiped his eyes and said bro kenly: " 'This is the sixth bottle of champagne Tve drunk today, all through my wife making me lose my temper. It is terri ble what a, lot of money that woman costs me.' " A Hard Hit. Martin "W. Littleton, the eminent New Tork lawyer, is noted for his trenchant wit. "At the beginning of his career," said an Albany Judge the other day, "Lit tleton had an elderly, prosy, long-winded lawyer for an opponent in an assault case. "The elderly lawyer in his concluding address spoke for six hours an Intermin able, foggy, stupid speech. Then Little ton rose. He smiled slightly, looked at judge and Jury, and said: " 'Your honor. I will follow the ex ample of my learned friend who has just concluded, and submit the case without argument.' " An Ail-Around Man. William V. McManus. the ne presi dent of the Letter-Carriers' Association of New York, had been discussing the ideal letter-carrier. With a laugh he ended: "Yes, the Ideal letter-carrier needs to be as all-round, as many-sided, as di vinely gifted, as the man a Cincinnati suburbanite advertised for last month. "The advertisement ran: " 'Wanted A man able to teach Span ish, water-color painting and the violin, and to look after a bull.' " These International Matches. Congressman McGavin, at a dinner in Washington, discussed the . proposed 2S per cent duty on the dowries of American girls who marry foreigners. Congressman McGavin spoke with bit cough, together with indications of spinal meningitis, cirrhosis of the liver and the pip. When I go home tonight I am going to send him out to blow open a vault in the- cemetery and steal the sil ver handles off the coffins, in order to make certain his ultimate recovery. In the mellow days of childhood we have so many old saws and epigrams drilled through the spongy partition of our youthful thinktanks that it isn't much wonder we feel inclined to sled along in the track broken by our forefathers. We plug along through the old red school house days, copying these moss-grown old precepts in our copybook till we get the writer's cramp, then we diagram them, parse them and curse them all through high school. Then when we go out to stab the world in the face we attempt to apply them to some practical purpose In dealing with existing conditions, and the chances are that we get slammed through the ropes by some fellow who isn't quite so well versed in, epigrams and maxims, but uses some common sense and originality. I remember away back in the dim, misty days of the long ago how the long faced pedagogues kept drilling It Into us to "when angry count ten before you speak; when very angry count a hun dred." They printed this in my reader, in my grammar, in my blue-back copy book, and I suppose if there had been any way to reduce it to figures they would have had it In the arithmetic and the al gebra. I am naturally peaceably Inclined and reserved in speech and don't get an gry very easily, but when I do get angry I am mad all through, and I want to go on record asjsaying that as often as I have tried to apply this ancient precept of my school days to some practical use I have never yet been opposed to -a man who would let me count more than four op five, Ihave frequently been angry enough to have counted a million, according to the deduction of the ancient precept, but I have been unfortunate in that the other fellow was always an illiterate cuss, who didn't know anything about this rule and got perniciously active before I haej time to reach the ten notch. I have now adopted the wiser plan of leaving the counting of ten up to the referee. Ringing down through the grooves of change out of the halcyon days of the mellow past, those dear old trustful days when I had faith in all mankind and thought that all writers of books were standing on the same pinnacle of intel lectual ability and truthfulness which I have now attained, there come to me the distinct memory of the sweet little stories which were printed In our school books and our Sunday school papers. As . boy I hungered for instruction, and was ambitious to become a shining light in the world. I wanted to so daz zle people with my brilliancy that they would have to wear green goggles when they came under the full glare of my presence. I read so many of these lit tle school book stories which point out the lesson that the boy who is honest and upright and thorough in his duties will always cop the job ahead of the ter scorn of the title foreign bridegroom, whose, sole claim to distinction consisted in a monocle and an expression of -idiotic vacuity. He denounced "that form of in-' ternatlonal trade wherein soiled and frayed nobility was exchanged for Amer can dollars, wrung from the lambs of Wall street, with a woman thrown in." "But take Count Dash," some one In terrupted. "Count Dash' can trace his family back S00 years." "Ah!" said Congressman - McGavin. "Through the bankruptcy court records, I suppose." Often True. "The late Edmund Clarence Stedman, the banker poet," said a magazine editor, "was really a better critic than poet. He had a high opinion of the critic's func tions. Attacks on the value of criticism always angered him. "He used to tell about a typical attack of this kind. He heard it at a supper aft--er the theater. It came from an unsuc cessful actor. "Mr. Stedman was replying to the toast, 'Our American Critics.' He began with the query, uttered in a ringing voice: " 'What is a critic?' "The unsuccessful actor, in the ensuing pause, answered from the bottom of the table: " 'A man who doesn't know a good thing when he sees it." " They Must Be Hardy. Secretary Wilson, of the Department of Agriculture, referred at a recent dinner In Washington to the amateur florists who spring up in the suburbs at this season by thousands. "More florists, perhaps, than flowers, apning up." he said. "In a seed shop the other day I heard one of these amateurs complain about the last batch of seeds he had bought. After he had ended his complaint he began to ask floral questions. " 'Oh, by the way,' he said, 'what is a hardy rose?' " 'It is one,' growled the dealer, 'that doesn't mind your wife pulling it up by the roots every day to see if it has begun to grow yet.' ' The Best Kleptomania Cure. "When Justice Brewer," said a Kansas' lawyer, "was on the Leavenworth circuit as a criminal Judge, he had no patience with the pleas of hypnotism and such like, new-fangled notions that then were coming to the fore. "Once, I remember, a man was being tried before him for shoplifting. "A witness said he thought the prisoner had kleptomania. " 'I presume. Judge," he added, "you know what kleptomania is. eh? " 'Yes,' said the judee, "I do. It is a disease that I am sent here to cure.' " An Odd Will. R. W. Hebberd. New Tork's Commis sioner of Charities, showed with a luminous Illustration, in the course of a recent address, the harmful effect of in discriminate charity. "An old woman in Utica," he said, "had been given a pint of milk and a loaf of bread daily for eight or nine years by a rich young matron. "Well, the old woman died the other week, and ft was found that she had left a will. In this brief statement she cooly bequeathed her daily bread and milk to her nephew." A Good Sign. At a dinner given In Washington in honor of Admiral Dewey's 70th birthday, the famous sailor, after drinking from a loving-cup that had belonged to George Washington, said: "This wine is superb. It is as fine in its way as the sign that I once saw over an inn door in Germany. The sign said: " 'Good beer sold here, but don't take my - word for it. Hans Schwartz, Pro prietor.' " , The Prosperity Convention - Upon the morning after You always tell your wife In point of fact you never Felt better in your life. With the engagement broken. The luckless he or she Will say they are aa happy As any one can be. The cottager suburban Has never any woe: He says he will not sell it. He loves the country so. And thus we hold convention And make a mighty fuss To say to all creation That we are prosperous. -AlcLandbura; Wilson ia New York Sun. ' kid who is there with the goods, but somewhat shy on conscientious scruples when the money drawer is left ouen, that I finally began to neglect my studies and concentrate my entire attention to becom ing honest and studying the art of look ing people straight in the face and tell ing the truth. I used to practice these stunts in front of the mirror, and it never worried me any more when my arithmetic and spelling reports tumbled nown till WOULD NEVER LET ME COUNT they were quoted on the open market at "23," because I remembered that when I had killed Miss Jones' pet pig with a slingshot I had walked bravely up to her front door and told her the truth about FOUR. ( THAT FUR ) I FIVE.- J YOUR 5-; J Heredity Is of Paramount Human Interest The Human Soul, From First to Jjast, the Offspring of God, the Spirit Man. BY R. M. BRERBTON. MAY not the many anomalies ap parent in human nature on earth be due to our very imperfect un derstanding of humanism, and to our common habit of. viewing and judging it solely from a purely physical standpoint? To the thoughtful, beneficent and lib eral mind of today there is no phenom enon in nature more profound than the relation between the human soul and its earthly body when awake or asleep. If we view Mother Nature as the meta physical principle of every form of earth life, and as the art of the Creator, we may realize the fact .that the human soul Is as much a natural immaterial entity as- is its material earthly body. Nature being the Creator's artificial .agent in all that man can possibly con ceive and know about creation embraces the entire perceptible and imperceptible spiritual and material universe. Her laws of cause and effect form the sole basis of absolute science. These, as yet, in their multiplicity of relation ship, have been fathomed to but a lim ited degree by the highest human In tellect. The late Lord Kelvin, the greatest English investigator of physical phe nomena, said at his Jubilee in Glasgow: "One word characterizes the most stren uous of efforts for the advancement of science that I have made perseverlngly during 55 years. That word is failure. I know no more of electric and magnetic force, of the relation between ether, elec tricity, and ponderable matter, or of chemical affinity than I knew and tried to teach my students of natural phil osophy 50 years ago in my first session as professor." But though he spelled failure in such researches, he ended by saying: "What splendid compensations for philosophical failures we have had in the admirable discoveries by observa tion and experiment on the properties of matter, and in the exquisitely benefi cent applications of science to the use of mankind, with which, these 50 years have so abounded." Nature has not given to man on earth to know the ultimate limits of spiritual and material creation, or. of their multi form relationship, or of the ultra fineness of material substance, or of the capacity of chemical affinity and change. Man's sensory perceptions and intellectual facul ties are altogether too coarse a!nd Imper fect for such comprehensive and Infinite analysis, or for solving the differential and the Integral calculus of the spiritual and physical affinities in human nature. The true borderland between spirit and matter we may never intellectually dis cover In earth-life; perhaps not even In the next. St. Paul's argument was "If there is a natural (physical) body there is also a spiritual body." The reasoning of the old-time Hebrew mind, from A to Z on heredity, which the Christian world has mainly followed, evolved this prin ciple, that the human soul Is primarily "the offspring'.' of God or Spirit-Man. "Begotten, not made, of one substance with Father-God," is the definition of the son of man by the creed of the English Episcopal Church. Procreation is purely a physical conception of the mind of man; It can have no meaning In the spirit world. If Christ's doctrine Is correct, "In heaven they neither marry, nor are given in marriage." The creator being eternal, his artificial agent, nature, is the ceaseless exponent of all life in its evolutionary forms of ascending progression in both spiritual and physical existences. Thus we realize that nature's work is never finished: is never fully perfected: it is ever ascending in fore-ordained stages; it is never found In miraculous leaps and bounds. Conscience. On earth, man's only field for observa tion and test, we find in humanism every stage of the consciousness of right and wrong; a.nd we do well to remember this important fact, that the conscience is man's only measure of his moral code. This measure ranges from the highest moral code of Christ to the lowest one, of the brutish Hottentot. This exhibition on earth of evolutionary progression in humanism, through the development of It voluntarily, and this meant much more to my future success than mere figures or spelling. I got so enthusiastic along this line of instruction that I would fre quently go out and smash a plate-glass window just to get an opportunity to show how honest and truthful I could be about it. ( By the time I was ripe for stabbing the ! world In the face' I had reached the point where I could not tell a lie. I had BIO BE THAN FOUR OR FIVE. also reached the point where I could not do much of anything else. After a few Ineffectual attempts to hold down jjbs on my honesty and triple-plated integrity alone, I awoke to the fact that the eujty the conscience, has ever been, and prob ably ever will be. existant as long as the earth offers suitable conditions for human Incarnation and physical existence. It may bp said with logical reasoning that if man or angel could evolve psycholog ically and ethically during eternity, so" as to be as perfect as their spirit-iatner. his supremacy or tineness in nature would be lost. Who then would be the sole righteous judge of each still progressing human soul's conscience? It is well for Jew and Christian to have faith in the old-time doctrine that the origin of man is of the highest spiritual source-, and that it contains that divine : principle of the Christhood; however low in stature and in moral development n Is everywhere observable In every race of man on earth. We probably greatly err in thinking or believing that this nat ural growth of spiritual and ethical de velopment Is subject at any time to a miraculous outcome. A highly civilized and humane nation was never born in. a day. Heredity shows that there has never been found in Nature any perfect equality in life on earth. It would seem that the monotony of equality was as abhorrent to Nature as is a vacuum. The only ideal equality in humanism lies In the true conception of the meaning of the brotherhood of man and of the fatherhood of God. Even in this democratic country of America we appreciate the sentiment of equality and liberty in social and business life in the abstract only. In practice how strongly Is the love for exclusiveness and limitation dis played In our social life. As there Is a natural segregation in occupations, so is there the same in society and in religious and political associations." Conditions of living and environment serve to uphold these social and sec tarian segregations of humanity throughout the world. As the social, domestic, political, industrial and com mercial life of civilized mankind Is not classless, there is no true social equality. Where can be found equal ity among the masses in mental and physical capacity? Even in the spirit world of the Creator if we accept for illustration the Bible teachings we are told that classless society does not ex ist; for therein angels and archangels are defined; also Satan and his satel lites; also evil and good activities. In the abstract, mankind on earth differ in nationality, in class, in mental and physical capacity, in wealth, in social, political and religious views, and in the practice of the highest ethical rules: "Thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself; Thou shalt not steal." So, to the thoughtful and experienced mind it seems that Socialism has a hard road to travel in order to overcome these many hereditary differential ob stacles. Year in and year out, we see that the exercise of justice, in the enforce ment and punishment under the laws of the moral code. Is not on an equality in the United States. The criminal poor in purse gets convicted and punished quickly; the wealthy and influential criminal obtains long; delaj-s through appeals from court to court after In dictment; and meanwhile escapes con finement In the penitentiary through the ball system. The Inequality of the human conscience is shown to prevail as much in the most civilized communi ties as it is in the uncivilized. Man in the physical world appears every where as naturally Imbued with pre dacious Instincts. History from earli est date and up-to-date evidence prove him to be a robber, a pirate, and a selfish thief by nature, hereditarily, from generation to generation. The evidence of this persistent evil among the highest educated, refined and hu mane people is furnished in every line of business. As a rule of everyday business, "a man's word is not ae good as his bond"; so a bond or outside security is exacted from everyone who may be a borrower, or who Is holding a public fiduciary position under Gov ernment, state or city, in which mone tary responsibility is centered. In this we cannot fall to perceive there exists in America today a popu old world was too busy dealing with ex istirig conditions to waste any time on sentimental theories. The trouble with the writers of these school book yarns Is that they are soar- ins; up among the clouds of idealism, and the kid who goes out into the world to . win his way like the hero of these school book yarns is mighty apt to find himself backed up in a corner and facing con ditions which he is not prepared to meet. There Is urgent need of a great reform movement In the system of public schiiol education. Ae Mr. Roosevelt is probably too busy throwing the hooks into predsyr lory wealth and revWfng the footbafr rules, some of these days when I feel that the great world of letters can plus along for awhile without these glittering gems of mine, I am goinc 1 take a few days of and throw my great, shining1 Intellect into the breach. I am going to sit down some evening after supper while my wife Is washing the dishes, and I am going to grind out a few volumes of school books that will make those musty old tales of our school days but a memory of a dead past. Thel "Jim Naslum First Reader", may not be slopping over with Idealism, but it! will certainly put the kids next to what) they will be up against when they go out to stab the world In the face. I, ami going to educate the rising generation! along sensible lines. These old schools' book stories would do all right if the kid were going to look for a job along thel golden streets of the New Jerusalemj but they are apt to put them at a dlsadJ vantage when they hit Park Row or Wll Street. The "Jim Naslum School Books" wilt show the studious boy that the kid who) gets there with both feet is the one who) has the ability and originality to deal with all possible conditions, and Isn't so particular whether he goes to Sunday school every day in the week. My stories will deal with existing conditions,! and show the employer does not give a brass-mounted continental about the boy who cannot tell a lie. He hires the kid who is there with the goods and will work his head off, and then he keep his eye on the money drawer and takes chance. " -This will be a great work to round i the brilliant career of man who fiad won a world-wide reputation for truth-J fulness. It will be a lasting monument to) his name, an epitaph carved on the hearts! of his fellow men. But it is not the ImJ mortal fame which actuates me. NoJ with my natural self-sacrificing way. It is) but the uplifting of the riding generation that I seek. If I can fold my icy limbs and cross the River Jordan with thai knowledge that these moss-grown old tales which hand out the impression that the qualities which "lay up treasures inj Heaven" and the ones which put mones in the bank are identical, if I can feel cerj tain that these precepts have drifted bacM into the mellow past, where they belongj I will go with a smile on my features! feeling that I have not lived in val lar distrust of human nature in pe' cunlary affairs. In this light a sej curity-bond is really a stigmatic brand! . . upon the conscience of -the individual it serves to showvthat no confidence) can be placed in the probity of the! trustee-employe. 'It, therefore, constl-j tutes a baneful slur on the word, oath) and reputation of all who desire sucbj fiduciary positions. National pride ma well blush at the absolute necessity for such outside security In this twentieth century, as it displays Inj business relations the continued belief on the part of the community in the! selfish, thievish hereditary instinct of the human to be still paramount. ThS daily newspapers and magazines In this country afford a vast variety of this shameful evidence which forces this sad conviction on the public mind. Heredity: Pride. From his physical side man has1 hereditarily a natural desire for Na- tlonal and family record and remin iscence, in connection with his earth life. Thus it is human to remember r' to honor, and to beautify the- tombs, graves and cemeteries of the departed and so we have a Decoration day la the year. It is human to possess aj sentimental interest In tracing back: Into past centuries National and fam-i ily ancestry. It Is well to bear In mind) that all such sentimental matters arej purely earth-bound in their scope. Thew can have no probable interest or profit) for us when we return to the spirit) side of life, in which earthly wealth) ' and social position can have neither object nor use. In spirit world pediH gree does not exist for sptrltJ souls are not bred after thJ manner of the flesh - body. There! Is no intermediate parental reiaj tiohship between each spirit soul ana its spirit father. St. Paul Illustrates! this highest conception of humanity, onj the spiritual side, in his description of) Melchizedec to his Hebrew convertsd "Without father, without mother, wlthj out pedigree; having neither beginnings unto a Son of God." St. Luke, thai painter-artist, the "beloved physlcian," traced, from the physical side, the pedlJ gree of Jesus back from Joseph olj Bethany to Adam, who he said was "thai Son of God." Thus is shown the prM miry and eternal spiritual sine, ana the secondary, temporal and physical! aide of man. Now, if we accept of this! - definition of the primary origin of mattj the insrlcal conclusion we reach is that) our Creator and Father must be viewed by us as the. Spirit -Man. In this sense we may better appreciate why Jesus preferred to call himself the Son of Man1 rather than the Son of God. Thus froml both the Hebrew and the Christian logical deduction, from A to Z of hered-j ity, the human soul Is, from first to last, the "offspring" of God, the Spirit Man. So, If the Christian believes 'in' the eternity of his Spirit Father, hel must have faith in the eternity of his own lifer for there can be no death orj annihilation of the human soul If It Is the "offspring" of God. In this splr-' ltual sense, heredity is of paramount interest to man in earth life. Woodstock. Or. Their New Relationship. ChlcarQ News. You'll at least be a sister to me? Many thanks. You're exceedingly kind. I have others: but that you won't mini. Just at present their number is three. I can take a magnanimous view Of the matter. I won't be outdone. Though I know you already bave one, I'll atfleaat be a brother to you. That my sisters do love me I know. And I know their affections I prize. I'm a pretty nice chap In ifcetreyes. - Their regard they are willing to . show. "Mr. Smithers" sounds awfully prim When I'm calling you "Maggie," my dea As my sister. It s perfectly clear You can't get out of calling me "Jim." And I'll hug all my sisters like this And they always return the embrace. There's no need of averting- your ace I'm bestowing a brotherly kis
