lO
THE SUNDAY OREGONIAX, PORTLAND, MARCH 22, 1908.
i ru.ll.rL V : n N M
Some Moss-Grown Precepts of Moss
Back Pedagogues
BY JIM NASiyM.-
CHILDHOOD is the time of life when
the man Is either made or marred.
It Is the, Springtime of life when the
seeds are sown which later yield a har
vest of ripened grain or only a crop of
ragweeds.
There in much truth in the old saw
that "as the twin is bent the tree is In
clined." and from the way some trees
are inclined 1 should imagine, that as a
twig they were trained up a crokscrew
or an old augur bit. Yet when it comes
right down to cases it cannot be denied
that a lot of trees that are sticking up
around over the landscape would cast a
blamed sigljt more welcome shade on
the earth and afford more relief to the
weary plugger along life's highway, if
they weren't quite so stiff and straight
and didn't rear their heads so high.
The crooked, knotty old lump of a tree
may not provide the best timber with
which to slap a gable end onto your liv
ing room, but I've often noticed that it
la' the most comfortable to hang around
when you're all in and want rest.
It's the straight tree that always gets
the ax from the lumberjack, while the
crooked one is passed up and goes right
ahead beautifying the landscape and
breeding vermin afid green mould. This
probably accounts for the few straight
specimens left standing. Outside of the
magnificent tree that is sighing cut these
sweet notes to the whispering winds. I
don't suppose there are a dozen good
Btraight ones in this neck of the woods.
This pernicious habit of cutting down
the straight trees Is only a verification
of the saying that "the good die young."
In the days of my tender budding child
hood I heard this saying repeated so
much that if at any time I happened to
discover that I was being exceptionally
good I usually went out and perpe
trated some awful crime as an act of
self-preservation. I say If I happened
to discover that I was exceptionally good.
This didn't often occur, however, as I
early acquired the habit of pulling oft
the self-preservation stunt In advance in
order to make sure of It.
To the care and attention which I gave
to this Important detail in l..y early life
I probably owe my present great age
and term of usefulness, as I managed to
avoid early danger of being too good
to such an exeent that I am not dead
yet. This may or may not be a great
misfortune to the rest of the world, but
I am too modest to give my own views
on the matter, so will leave it for a
grateful army of readers to decide for
themselves.
Outside of my own living manifesta
tion of the truth of this old saying that
"the good die 5'oung." I should say that
Good StoriesTold of Prominent People
"Is Generals Brave?"
g?g?TTHE late Bishop Coleman," said a
I Wilmington divine, "used to take
every Summer, a long, solitary walking
trip, lie wore rough clothes anil slept
In farmhouses. Sometimes the people took
him for an aged trump. Always he had
interesting experiences.
STORY about Reginald De Kovcn,
served the bishop in his sermons. Thus,
once, in a sermon on peace, he said that
if they who made the wars had actually
to go out and tight them fight them as
the common soldier does, without honor,
without hope, without anything desira
blewarfare would speedily be abolished.
"One evening," he went on, "on a Vir
ginia farm, a little farm boy said to him;
" Ms generals brave?'
" 'Yes, to be sure.' the bishop answered.
Why do you ask?'
" 'Because,' said the little boy. 'if they
are brave, I don't understand why, when
the artists make pictures of a battle, the
generals is always on a hill, four miles
away, watching the fighting through an
opci a glass.' "
When Greek Meets Greek. (
William 11. Langdon. the lawyer
through whose ekill the San Francisco
grafters wero convicted, talked, at a re
cent dinner at the Hotel Astor, in New
York, about municipal corruption.
"Yes." he said, smiling hie conclusion
was a humorous one "to defeat munici
pal corruption we must be very, very as
tute: the right Is. then Greek against
Greek,: It is the Jockey against the horse
doctor.
"Perhaps you have heard the story?
No? Well. then, give ear.
- "A gentleman at a country fair saw a
jockey and a horse doctor haggling
dreadfully over the sale of a mare. It
Interested him to see two such tricky
and shrewd character? opposed, and at
the end of the sale he approached the
jockey and asked him how he had made
out.
" 'I sold her.' said the man, and he
held up t K note.
" 'But is that all you got for her?"
asked the gentleman.
" 'It's enough,' was the repiy. 'She's
dead lame.'
"Chuckling to himself, the gentleman
sought out the horse doctor.
" 'See here, friend.' Mid he. 'do you
know you have given ii for a hopelessly
lame mare?"
"The horse doctor wr ged his thin
gray beard.
" '1-amo she Is. I grant you.' he said.
But hopelessly lame, no. In fact, she is
as sound as I am. She's badly shod,
that's all that is the matter with her. I
saw it at a glance.'
"The gentleman whistled at this news.
He went back to the Jockey and told him
what the horse doctor had said.
"But the Jockey, with a wink of the
eye, explained:
" 'That marc is as lame as a one
legged veteran. I had her shod badly on
purpose to take some sucker in.'
"At this the gentleman laughed loud
and long. Hurrying back to tho horse
doctor again, he said:
" 'My dear sir. with ail your cunning,
that Jockey has proved, too much for
you. The mare is Incurably lame. He
had her shod badly on purpose to take
you in.'
"On receipt of this news the old horse
doctor shook his head gravely.
'Well, anyway,' ho said, 'it was a
counterfeit $o note.' "
The Strop-Hanger.
Sir Clifton Robinson, the head of the
Ixmrion tramway service, says that I.on
donem now desire to be strap-hangers.
The tiiglish law forbids cars or 'buses
to rarry more passengers than there are
seats for. so the Rngllshman. waiting on
his corner while full 'bus after full 'bus
goes by. loses many valuable minutes.
"Yes," said Sir Clifton Robinson at a
recent dinner in New York, "they want
to ptrap-hang In London now. They
don't realise that strap-hanging, too, has
its annoyances.
v-'l rode on a Broadway car the other
day. A. tall Westerner hung on a strap
near inc. He was the only strap-hanger.
there Is a great deal of solid truth in It
from the amount of vitality displayed
by a number of people who reside im
mediately contiguous to my own holdout.
BREAK YOUR
FACE-
SMASH A PLATE-GLASS WINDOW
C'Ol'LD BE
and whom I have been trying to kill oft
ever since that gloomy day in the mellow
past when they first butted into the full
glare of my distinguished presence. -The
mortality among the growing good chil
dren in this neighborhood must have been
and he kept looking hopefully, at every '
corner, for some one to get off and give
him a seat.
"But we were all stayers as you say
over here aboard that car. Block after
block we traveled, and still the tired
Westerner hung to his strap.
"His look became angrier and angrier,
and finally he blurted out:
" 'Say, ain't none o' you people got
homes?" "
A Patriotic Swindle.
"It is not often," said General F. D.
Grant, at a dinner in New York, "that a
man can perform at the same time a
swindle and an act of- patriotfsm. Yet
this happened during the war.
"A New York sharper then conducted
a swindle at which even Washington
would have smiled approvingly.
"It was at the time when we stood in
the greatest nerd of soldiers. This man
inserted in the papers everywhere an ad
vertisement that read as follows:
'Notice For Jl I will give any per
son positive information whereby he may
avoid the conscription.'
"Replies came fast. They came at the
rate of 600 a day, and dollars accompa
nied them.
"Then an enraged dupe, beside himself
at having lost a dollar, took the adver
tiser to court, where the entire transac
tion was patriotically declared to be quite
legal.
The answer that had been sent out by
the sharper was:
." 'Enlist.' "
Drawing It Too Mild.
Vice-President Fairbanks, at his recent
annual reception in Washington, said of a
certain deplorable condition:
"We don't need new laws to correct
this condition. We simply need the old
laws' proper enforcement.
"The old laws have been construed too
mildly. It Is like the state of things in
the Benedictine monks' new convent In
Tarragone.
"An Indianapolis friend of mine, 'Win
tering In Spain, lunched at the monastery
of the Benedictines.. After lunch he took
out his cigar-case.
" 'I don't suppose you object to smoking
here?' he said to the white-clad monk at
tendant. "Yes, sir, we do.' the monk answered.
'There is a law against smoking in the
refectory.'
" 'Then where.' said my friend, 'do all
the cigar and cigarette stubs come from
that I see about me?'
" 'From gentlemen who didn't ask about
the law," the monk replied mildly.
A Specious Excuse.
Bishop Paddock, of Eastern Oregon, de
clared recently that wealth was God-gtv-en.
that same men were "called" to make
money.
"Bishop Paddock," said a New York
clergyman the other day, "Is always say
ing wuc. true, memorable things. There
is no living speaker who is more .interest
ing and more Instructive.
"I remember one of his attacks on- a
wrong that had been speciously defended.
He said no amount of talking could make
a wrong a right, and he compared the
culprits to a boy he knew.
"He said this boy's mother found him
playing one Sunday morning in the nur
sery. " 'Ob, Johnny,' .she said. I told you not
to play with your tin soldiers on Sun
day.' "The boy looked up, surprised and ag
grieved. " 'But on Sunday.' he said, 'I call 'era
the Salvation Army.' "
Too Light.
"Booker T. Washington is a wonderful
man." said a Southerner at the Tuske
gee meeting In Carnegie Hall last month.
"There is no orator in America to equal
him.
"He's full of fun. too. Once, when Tus
kegee's future looked very dismal, he de
clared to me that the great school was
bound to pull through, that you never
could te'.l from appearance what the fu
ture held In store. '
" 'Why.' he said, mentioning a famous
colored poet, 'in his boyhood that chap
was universally despised, even by his
, I X I
V
frightful, judging from the remnants
that succeeded in attaining their full
growth. And if there is any truth in
the saying that "it is a poor rule that
doesn't work both ways." this remaining
portion of the population out my way
bids fair to smash Methusaieh's age
.record all to smithereens, judging from
present indications.
As we go to press, there is only one
good boy left In my neighborhood, and
he is the kid who has had the benefit of
my fatherly advice and lambastings since
1 CANNOT TELL
PiROKEYOUR
WINDOW-
JUST -TO SHOW HOW HONEST I
ABOUT IT. ,
the day when the stork dropped him in
my household. But even he is now in
bed suffering with the mumps, and a
phone message from his mother this morn
ing stated that he is also showing symp
toms of the measles and the whooping
own mother. Even his own mother used
to say of him that "she guessed Jilt wus
down in the books he gwine ter be
hanged, and she nebber .could bear dat
brat, anyways, 'kase he show dirt so
easy.' "
Not Hard Work.
Professor William Frear, of the
Pennsylvania State College, discussed in
Harrisburg the 83 kinds of breakfast
foods that he recently tested for the Gov
ernment. "Most of them were very good," said
Professor Frear. "The taste test, In most
cases, w pleasure rather than work. TO
make' work out of it would be to act like
a little boy I know in Bellcfonte.
"This little boy's mother went, last
Washington's Birthday, to a' reception,
leaving the baby in Jimmy's care. With
an injured look Jimmy said on her re
turn: " Mamma. wish you wouldn't make
me mind baby again. He was so bad
that I had to eat two mince pies and half
the fruit-cake to amuse him."
Pulled Vp Short.
Professor Charles Zeublin, of the Uni
versity of Chicago, was reiterating at a
dinner his belief that most American phil
anthropy failed TDf Its object.
"Many a philanthropist, his heart beat
ing with love of his fellow man, would
be pulled up with a round turn,'" said
Professor Zeublin, "if he knew what
really became of the last hundred or the
last thousand that he gave to charity.
"Yes, he would be taken as completely
aback as the young man who said proud
ly to his girl in the moonlight:
" 'Tell me, my own, when did you first
discover that you loved me?"
" 'When I found myself getting angry
every time any one called you a fool,"
she replied.
These Married Men.
"That excellent' actress, Clara Blood
good, sat beside me one night at a din
ner," said a Philadelphia playwright,
"and with the fish some one began to
talk about wifely extravagance.
"Mrs. Bloodgood listened to tale after
tale of the rulnou- extravagance of
wives, and finally she eaid:
" 'Wives' extravagance oh, yes. Tou
men are all alike. You are all like the
broker who. at midnight, in his club, hic
coughed, wiped his eyes and said bro
kenly: " 'This is the sixth bottle of champagne
Tve drunk today, all through my wife
making me lose my temper. It is terri
ble what a, lot of money that woman
costs me.' "
A Hard Hit.
Martin "W. Littleton, the eminent New
Tork lawyer, is noted for his trenchant
wit.
"At the beginning of his career," said
an Albany Judge the other day, "Lit
tleton had an elderly, prosy, long-winded
lawyer for an opponent in an assault
case.
"The elderly lawyer in his concluding
address spoke for six hours an Intermin
able, foggy, stupid speech. Then Little
ton rose. He smiled slightly, looked at
judge and Jury, and said:
" 'Your honor. I will follow the ex
ample of my learned friend who has just
concluded, and submit the case without
argument.' "
An Ail-Around Man.
William V. McManus. the ne presi
dent of the Letter-Carriers' Association
of New York, had been discussing the
ideal letter-carrier.
With a laugh he ended:
"Yes, the Ideal letter-carrier needs to
be as all-round, as many-sided, as di
vinely gifted, as the man a Cincinnati
suburbanite advertised for last month.
"The advertisement ran:
" 'Wanted A man able to teach Span
ish, water-color painting and the violin,
and to look after a bull.' "
These International Matches.
Congressman McGavin, at a dinner in
Washington, discussed the . proposed 2S
per cent duty on the dowries of American
girls who marry foreigners.
Congressman McGavin spoke with bit
cough, together with indications of spinal
meningitis, cirrhosis of the liver and the
pip. When I go home tonight I am
going to send him out to blow open a
vault in the- cemetery and steal the sil
ver handles off the coffins, in order to
make certain his ultimate recovery.
In the mellow days of childhood we
have so many old saws and epigrams
drilled through the spongy partition of
our youthful thinktanks that it isn't much
wonder we feel inclined to sled along in
the track broken by our forefathers. We
plug along through the old red school
house days, copying these moss-grown old
precepts in our copybook till we get the
writer's cramp, then we diagram them,
parse them and curse them all through
high school. Then when we go out to stab
the world in the face we attempt to apply
them to some practical purpose In dealing
with existing conditions, and the chances
are that we get slammed through the
ropes by some fellow who isn't quite so
well versed in, epigrams and maxims, but
uses some common sense and originality.
I remember away back in the dim,
misty days of the long ago how the long
faced pedagogues kept drilling It Into us
to "when angry count ten before you
speak; when very angry count a hun
dred." They printed this in my reader,
in my grammar, in my blue-back copy
book, and I suppose if there had been any
way to reduce it to figures they would
have had it In the arithmetic and the al
gebra. I am naturally peaceably Inclined
and reserved in speech and don't get an
gry very easily, but when I do get angry I
am mad all through, and I want to go on
record asjsaying that as often as I have
tried to apply this ancient precept of my
school days to some practical use I have
never yet been opposed to -a man who
would let me count more than four op
five, Ihave frequently been angry enough
to have counted a million, according to
the deduction of the ancient precept, but
I have been unfortunate in that the other
fellow was always an illiterate cuss, who
didn't know anything about this rule and
got perniciously active before I haej time
to reach the ten notch. I have now
adopted the wiser plan of leaving the
counting of ten up to the referee.
Ringing down through the grooves of
change out of the halcyon days of the
mellow past, those dear old trustful days
when I had faith in all mankind and
thought that all writers of books were
standing on the same pinnacle of intel
lectual ability and truthfulness which I
have now attained, there come to me the
distinct memory of the sweet little stories
which were printed In our school books
and our Sunday school papers.
As . boy I hungered for instruction,
and was ambitious to become a shining
light in the world. I wanted to so daz
zle people with my brilliancy that they
would have to wear green goggles when
they came under the full glare of my
presence. I read so many of these lit
tle school book stories which point out
the lesson that the boy who is honest
and upright and thorough in his duties
will always cop the job ahead of the
ter scorn of the title foreign bridegroom,
whose, sole claim to distinction consisted
in a monocle and an expression of -idiotic
vacuity. He denounced "that form of in-'
ternatlonal trade wherein soiled and
frayed nobility was exchanged for Amer
can dollars, wrung from the lambs of
Wall street, with a woman thrown in."
"But take Count Dash," some one In
terrupted. "Count Dash' can trace his
family back S00 years."
"Ah!" said Congressman - McGavin.
"Through the bankruptcy court records,
I suppose."
Often True.
"The late Edmund Clarence Stedman,
the banker poet," said a magazine editor,
"was really a better critic than poet. He
had a high opinion of the critic's func
tions. Attacks on the value of criticism
always angered him.
"He used to tell about a typical attack
of this kind. He heard it at a supper aft--er
the theater. It came from an unsuc
cessful actor.
"Mr. Stedman was replying to the toast,
'Our American Critics.' He began with
the query, uttered in a ringing voice:
" 'What is a critic?'
"The unsuccessful actor, in the ensuing
pause, answered from the bottom of the
table:
" 'A man who doesn't know a good
thing when he sees it." "
They Must Be Hardy.
Secretary Wilson, of the Department of
Agriculture, referred at a recent dinner
In Washington to the amateur florists
who spring up in the suburbs at this
season by thousands.
"More florists, perhaps, than flowers,
apning up." he said.
"In a seed shop the other day I heard
one of these amateurs complain about the
last batch of seeds he had bought. After
he had ended his complaint he began to
ask floral questions.
" 'Oh, by the way,' he said, 'what is a
hardy rose?'
" 'It is one,' growled the dealer, 'that
doesn't mind your wife pulling it up by
the roots every day to see if it has begun
to grow yet.' '
The Best Kleptomania Cure.
"When Justice Brewer," said a Kansas'
lawyer, "was on the Leavenworth circuit
as a criminal Judge, he had no patience
with the pleas of hypnotism and such
like, new-fangled notions that then were
coming to the fore.
"Once, I remember, a man was being
tried before him for shoplifting.
"A witness said he thought the prisoner
had kleptomania.
" 'I presume. Judge," he added, "you
know what kleptomania is. eh?
" 'Yes,' said the judee, "I do. It is a
disease that I am sent here to cure.' "
An Odd Will.
R. W. Hebberd. New Tork's Commis
sioner of Charities, showed with a
luminous Illustration, in the course of a
recent address, the harmful effect of in
discriminate charity.
"An old woman in Utica," he said, "had
been given a pint of milk and a loaf of
bread daily for eight or nine years by a
rich young matron.
"Well, the old woman died the other
week, and ft was found that she had left
a will. In this brief statement she cooly
bequeathed her daily bread and milk to
her nephew."
A Good Sign.
At a dinner given In Washington in
honor of Admiral Dewey's 70th birthday,
the famous sailor, after drinking from a
loving-cup that had belonged to George
Washington, said:
"This wine is superb. It is as fine in its
way as the sign that I once saw over an
inn door in Germany. The sign said:
" 'Good beer sold here, but don't take
my - word for it. Hans Schwartz, Pro
prietor.' " ,
The Prosperity Convention -
Upon the morning after
You always tell your wife
In point of fact you never
Felt better in your life.
With the engagement broken.
The luckless he or she
Will say they are aa happy
As any one can be.
The cottager suburban
Has never any woe:
He says he will not sell it.
He loves the country so.
And thus we hold convention
And make a mighty fuss
To say to all creation
That we are prosperous.
-AlcLandbura; Wilson ia New York Sun. '
kid who is there with the goods, but
somewhat shy on conscientious scruples
when the money drawer is left ouen, that
I finally began to neglect my studies and
concentrate my entire attention to becom
ing honest and studying the art of look
ing people straight in the face and tell
ing the truth. I used to practice these
stunts in front of the mirror, and it never
worried me any more when my arithmetic
and spelling reports tumbled nown till
WOULD NEVER LET ME COUNT
they were quoted on the open market at
"23," because I remembered that when I
had killed Miss Jones' pet pig with a
slingshot I had walked bravely up to her
front door and told her the truth about
FOUR. ( THAT FUR )
I FIVE.- J YOUR 5-; J
Heredity Is of Paramount Human Interest
The Human Soul, From First to Jjast, the Offspring of God, the Spirit Man.
BY R. M. BRERBTON.
MAY not the many anomalies ap
parent in human nature on earth
be due to our very imperfect un
derstanding of humanism, and to our
common habit of. viewing and judging it
solely from a purely physical standpoint?
To the thoughtful, beneficent and lib
eral mind of today there is no phenom
enon in nature more profound than the
relation between the human soul and
its earthly body when awake or asleep.
If we view Mother Nature as the meta
physical principle of every form of earth
life, and as the art of the Creator, we
may realize the fact .that the human
soul Is as much a natural immaterial
entity as- is its material earthly body.
Nature being the Creator's artificial
.agent in all that man can possibly con
ceive and know about creation embraces
the entire perceptible and imperceptible
spiritual and material universe.
Her laws of cause and effect form the
sole basis of absolute science. These,
as yet, in their multiplicity of relation
ship, have been fathomed to but a lim
ited degree by the highest human In
tellect. The late Lord Kelvin, the greatest
English investigator of physical phe
nomena, said at his Jubilee in Glasgow:
"One word characterizes the most stren
uous of efforts for the advancement of
science that I have made perseverlngly
during 55 years. That word is failure.
I know no more of electric and magnetic
force, of the relation between ether, elec
tricity, and ponderable matter, or of
chemical affinity than I knew and tried
to teach my students of natural phil
osophy 50 years ago in my first session
as professor." But though he spelled
failure in such researches, he ended by
saying: "What splendid compensations
for philosophical failures we have had
in the admirable discoveries by observa
tion and experiment on the properties
of matter, and in the exquisitely benefi
cent applications of science to the use of
mankind, with which, these 50 years have
so abounded."
Nature has not given to man on earth
to know the ultimate limits of spiritual
and material creation, or. of their multi
form relationship, or of the ultra fineness
of material substance, or of the capacity
of chemical affinity and change. Man's
sensory perceptions and intellectual facul
ties are altogether too coarse a!nd Imper
fect for such comprehensive and Infinite
analysis, or for solving the differential
and the Integral calculus of the spiritual
and physical affinities in human nature.
The true borderland between spirit and
matter we may never intellectually dis
cover In earth-life; perhaps not even In
the next. St. Paul's argument was "If
there is a natural (physical) body there is
also a spiritual body." The reasoning of
the old-time Hebrew mind, from A to Z
on heredity, which the Christian world
has mainly followed, evolved this prin
ciple, that the human soul Is primarily
"the offspring'.' of God or Spirit-Man.
"Begotten, not made, of one substance
with Father-God," is the definition of the
son of man by the creed of the English
Episcopal Church. Procreation is purely
a physical conception of the mind of man;
It can have no meaning In the spirit
world. If Christ's doctrine Is correct,
"In heaven they neither marry, nor are
given in marriage."
The creator being eternal, his artificial
agent, nature, is the ceaseless exponent
of all life in its evolutionary forms of
ascending progression in both spiritual
and physical existences. Thus we realize
that nature's work is never finished: is
never fully perfected: it is ever ascending
in fore-ordained stages; it is never found
In miraculous leaps and bounds.
Conscience.
On earth, man's only field for observa
tion and test, we find in humanism every
stage of the consciousness of right and
wrong; a.nd we do well to remember this
important fact, that the conscience is
man's only measure of his moral code.
This measure ranges from the highest
moral code of Christ to the lowest one,
of the brutish Hottentot. This exhibition
on earth of evolutionary progression in
humanism, through the development of
It voluntarily, and this meant much more
to my future success than mere figures
or spelling. I got so enthusiastic along
this line of instruction that I would fre
quently go out and smash a plate-glass
window just to get an opportunity to
show how honest and truthful I could be
about it.
( By the time I was ripe for stabbing the
! world In the face' I had reached the
point where I could not tell a lie. I had
BIO BE THAN FOUR OR FIVE.
also reached the point where I could not
do much of anything else. After a few
Ineffectual attempts to hold down jjbs
on my honesty and triple-plated integrity
alone, I awoke to the fact that the eujty
the conscience, has ever been, and prob
ably ever will be. existant as long as the
earth offers suitable conditions for human
Incarnation and physical existence. It
may bp said with logical reasoning that
if man or angel could evolve psycholog
ically and ethically during eternity, so"
as to be as perfect as their spirit-iatner.
his supremacy or tineness in nature
would be lost. Who then would be the
sole righteous judge of each still
progressing human soul's conscience?
It is well for Jew and Christian to have
faith in the old-time doctrine that the
origin of man is of the highest spiritual
source-, and that it contains that divine
: principle of the Christhood; however low
in stature and in moral development n
Is everywhere observable In every race
of man on earth. We probably greatly
err in thinking or believing that this nat
ural growth of spiritual and ethical de
velopment Is subject at any time to a
miraculous outcome. A highly civilized
and humane nation was never born in. a
day.
Heredity shows that there has never
been found in Nature any perfect
equality in life on earth. It would
seem that the monotony of equality
was as abhorrent to Nature as is a
vacuum. The only ideal equality in
humanism lies In the true conception
of the meaning of the brotherhood of
man and of the fatherhood of God.
Even in this democratic country of
America we appreciate the sentiment
of equality and liberty in social and
business life in the abstract only.
In practice how strongly Is the love
for exclusiveness and limitation dis
played In our social life. As there Is a
natural segregation in occupations, so
is there the same in society and in
religious and political associations."
Conditions of living and environment
serve to uphold these social and sec
tarian segregations of humanity
throughout the world. As the social,
domestic, political, industrial and com
mercial life of civilized mankind Is
not classless, there is no true social
equality. Where can be found equal
ity among the masses in mental and
physical capacity? Even in the spirit
world of the Creator if we accept for
illustration the Bible teachings we are
told that classless society does not ex
ist; for therein angels and archangels
are defined; also Satan and his satel
lites; also evil and good activities. In
the abstract, mankind on earth differ
in nationality, in class, in mental and
physical capacity, in wealth, in social,
political and religious views, and in
the practice of the highest ethical
rules: "Thou shall love thy neighbor
as thyself; Thou shalt not steal." So,
to the thoughtful and experienced mind
it seems that Socialism has a hard
road to travel in order to overcome
these many hereditary differential ob
stacles. Year in and year out, we see that
the exercise of justice, in the enforce
ment and punishment under the laws of
the moral code. Is not on an equality in
the United States. The criminal poor
in purse gets convicted and punished
quickly; the wealthy and influential
criminal obtains long; delaj-s through
appeals from court to court after In
dictment; and meanwhile escapes con
finement In the penitentiary through
the ball system. The Inequality of the
human conscience is shown to prevail
as much in the most civilized communi
ties as it is in the uncivilized. Man
in the physical world appears every
where as naturally Imbued with pre
dacious Instincts. History from earli
est date and up-to-date evidence prove
him to be a robber, a pirate, and a
selfish thief by nature, hereditarily,
from generation to generation. The
evidence of this persistent evil among
the highest educated, refined and hu
mane people is furnished in every line
of business. As a rule of everyday
business, "a man's word is not ae
good as his bond"; so a bond or outside
security is exacted from everyone who
may be a borrower, or who Is holding
a public fiduciary position under Gov
ernment, state or city, in which mone
tary responsibility is centered.
In this we cannot fall to perceive
there exists in America today a popu
old world was too busy dealing with ex
istirig conditions to waste any time on
sentimental theories.
The trouble with the writers of these
school book yarns Is that they are soar-
ins; up among the clouds of idealism, and
the kid who goes out into the world to .
win his way like the hero of these school
book yarns is mighty apt to find himself
backed up in a corner and facing con
ditions which he is not prepared to meet.
There Is urgent need of a great reform
movement In the system of public schiiol
education. Ae Mr. Roosevelt is probably
too busy throwing the hooks into predsyr
lory wealth and revWfng the footbafr
rules, some of these days when I feel
that the great world of letters can plus
along for awhile without these glittering
gems of mine, I am goinc 1 take a few
days of and throw my great, shining1
Intellect into the breach.
I am going to sit down some evening
after supper while my wife Is washing
the dishes, and I am going to grind out
a few volumes of school books that will
make those musty old tales of our school
days but a memory of a dead past. Thel
"Jim Naslum First Reader", may not
be slopping over with Idealism, but it!
will certainly put the kids next to what)
they will be up against when they go out
to stab the world In the face. I, ami
going to educate the rising generation!
along sensible lines. These old schools'
book stories would do all right if the kid
were going to look for a job along thel
golden streets of the New Jerusalemj
but they are apt to put them at a dlsadJ
vantage when they hit Park Row or Wll
Street.
The "Jim Naslum School Books" wilt
show the studious boy that the kid who)
gets there with both feet is the one who)
has the ability and originality to deal
with all possible conditions, and Isn't
so particular whether he goes to Sunday
school every day in the week. My
stories will deal with existing conditions,!
and show the employer does not
give a brass-mounted continental about
the boy who cannot tell a lie. He hires
the kid who is there with the goods and
will work his head off, and then he keep
his eye on the money drawer and takes
chance. "
-This will be a great work to round i
the brilliant career of man who fiad
won a world-wide reputation for truth-J
fulness. It will be a lasting monument to)
his name, an epitaph carved on the hearts!
of his fellow men. But it is not the ImJ
mortal fame which actuates me. NoJ
with my natural self-sacrificing way. It is)
but the uplifting of the riding generation
that I seek. If I can fold my icy limbs
and cross the River Jordan with thai
knowledge that these moss-grown old
tales which hand out the impression that
the qualities which "lay up treasures inj
Heaven" and the ones which put mones
in the bank are identical, if I can feel cerj
tain that these precepts have drifted bacM
into the mellow past, where they belongj
I will go with a smile on my features!
feeling that I have not lived in val
lar distrust of human nature in pe'
cunlary affairs. In this light a sej
curity-bond is really a stigmatic brand! . .
upon the conscience of -the individual
it serves to showvthat no confidence)
can be placed in the probity of the!
trustee-employe. 'It, therefore, constl-j
tutes a baneful slur on the word, oath)
and reputation of all who desire sucbj
fiduciary positions. National pride ma
well blush at the absolute necessity
for such outside security In this
twentieth century, as it displays Inj
business relations the continued belief
on the part of the community in the!
selfish, thievish hereditary instinct of
the human to be still paramount. ThS
daily newspapers and magazines In this
country afford a vast variety of this
shameful evidence which forces this
sad conviction on the public mind.
Heredity: Pride.
From his physical side man has1
hereditarily a natural desire for Na-
tlonal and family record and remin
iscence, in connection with his earth
life. Thus it is human to remember r'
to honor, and to beautify the- tombs,
graves and cemeteries of the departed
and so we have a Decoration day la
the year. It is human to possess aj
sentimental interest In tracing back:
Into past centuries National and fam-i
ily ancestry. It Is well to bear In mind)
that all such sentimental matters arej
purely earth-bound in their scope. Thew
can have no probable interest or profit)
for us when we return to the spirit)
side of life, in which earthly wealth) '
and social position can have neither
object nor use. In spirit world pediH
gree does not exist for sptrltJ
souls are not bred after thJ
manner of the flesh - body. There!
Is no intermediate parental reiaj
tiohship between each spirit soul ana
its spirit father. St. Paul Illustrates!
this highest conception of humanity, onj
the spiritual side, in his description of)
Melchizedec to his Hebrew convertsd
"Without father, without mother, wlthj
out pedigree; having neither beginnings
unto a Son of God." St. Luke, thai
painter-artist, the "beloved physlcian,"
traced, from the physical side, the pedlJ
gree of Jesus back from Joseph olj
Bethany to Adam, who he said was "thai
Son of God." Thus is shown the prM
miry and eternal spiritual sine, ana
the secondary, temporal and physical!
aide of man. Now, if we accept of this! -
definition of the primary origin of mattj
the insrlcal conclusion we reach is that)
our Creator and Father must be viewed
by us as the. Spirit -Man. In this sense
we may better appreciate why Jesus
preferred to call himself the Son of Man1
rather than the Son of God. Thus froml
both the Hebrew and the Christian
logical deduction, from A to Z of hered-j
ity, the human soul Is, from first to
last, the "offspring" of God, the Spirit
Man. So, If the Christian believes 'in'
the eternity of his Spirit Father, hel
must have faith in the eternity of his
own lifer for there can be no death orj
annihilation of the human soul If It Is
the "offspring" of God. In this splr-'
ltual sense, heredity is of paramount
interest to man in earth life.
Woodstock. Or.
Their New Relationship.
ChlcarQ News.
You'll at least be a sister to me?
Many thanks. You're exceedingly kind.
I have others: but that you won't mini.
Just at present their number is three.
I can take a magnanimous view
Of the matter. I won't be outdone.
Though I know you already bave one,
I'll atfleaat be a brother to you.
That my sisters do love me I know.
And I know their affections I prize.
I'm a pretty nice chap In ifcetreyes. -
Their regard they are willing to . show.
"Mr. Smithers" sounds awfully prim
When I'm calling you "Maggie," my dea
As my sister. It s perfectly clear
You can't get out of calling me "Jim."
And I'll hug all my sisters like this
And they always return the embrace.
There's no need of averting- your ace
I'm bestowing a brotherly kis