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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (June 14, 1903)
THE SUNDAY OKEGONIAN, POETLA2-7D, JUNE 14, 1903.
TIMELU TOPICS e7VRT007N 1STS HAVE FOUrtT AVAILABLE
HANDS UP, BOYS! ,
From the Indianapolis News.
a game: op hold-up.
GLEAEING THE PRESIDENTIAL WAY
.a,-. .. From the Indianapolis News.
'SENATOR HANXA ROLLS BrG:BOULDER: OFF- THE 'TRACKS !:
. , ..'j " "..'',"!' From the St. Paul "PIoneer,'press. ,
UNCLE MARK 'AfesvMXGOT,'EIbBCKBX AND rSBrGLADTOU GOT II.'
ON THE BOARDS FOR THIRTY DAYS
. ft '
From the St. Paul Pioneer Press.
SOMETHING OF A PIONEER HIMSELF
' ' '' ' ' '" Across the'contlnent cams the ox-drawn, white-topped wacons bearlnff the pioneer,
. who entered Into this country to possess it. President Roosevelt's "speech at Port
land, Or. " "
. .-Frdm the Detroit Free Presii
' ; , - . . A;
ll GUILE, OF A MAN WITH A MOON FACE Di'd WiTw5f-ra
Jfew York. Sun.
HE next time I play moon-face for
a hanky-pank the kind that runs
to see -where the are Is every time
tho village gong sounds I Tvant somebody
to present me with, freedom of the nut
factory on a Trodden platter," disgustedly
remarked in his hour of relaxation not
to say of collapse the -wire-tapper who
cever tapped a wire.
He was screwed -up in an alcove scat In
one of tho Upper Broadway hotel cafes,
nd there was a baleful light in his beady,
bloodshot eyes as he told a pair of his pals
"It's getting so in this business," he
went on, "that- the ones -that look the
softest are tho kind you've. go to turn
b. sandblast on and then pound on tho
head with a riveter's mallet. They won't
pay 40 cents for a gold dollar with a suit
of clothes and a naphtha launch thrown
In. But that's rjot the worst of it the
way these new suckers refuse to let go.
They've got a sting working.
"We spiked this moon-face-Jlm and
me, that I started to tell you about, four
Says ago. He was buying his Juico for;
oimseji in me oar 01 one ot tnose leather
wd lace Importers' hotels down tire way
oelow Fourteenth, and Jim and me .both
pot the flash at his leather at the same
minute. It was about as long as a. bath
mat, and the centuries and five hundreds
tnd papers with M In the corner were
popping out of ever' pocket of It.
" 'Just look at our money Jim whis
pered to me when we got the peek at that
pent-up stack of saffron cracklers, and I
telt every bit as gay as Jim did about tho
moon-face and the bundle he was tempo
rarily packing around with him.
"Ho had a map on him like a Hallowe'en
pun'kin a big, tallowy-haired jell, he was,
tnd he looked so soft that Jim warned me
tot to poke him In the ribs in handing him
In argument for fear I might punch a hole
(n him with my finger. He had lamps of
the color of bluing in the stationary tuo
Sf a Monday morning, and, although he
tvas togged all right, he just looked Che
nango County and nothing else.
"The butt-in was easy. J -pretended
lhat I had . half-euds, gave him a wallop
on the back and called hira Bill, and he
fell to the good cheer without a contort.
Then I let Jim In and it was the three of
us for a cab and a knock-around up thia
way, me doing my share of the buying,
but letting the moon-faco dig for a quart
now and then. Just so Jim and me could
enjoy the flash of our money which this
stiff with the Luna mush was carrying
"Jim and me didn't begin to patter any
horse until after we figured that the large
yellow perch was in shape to give the
woozy eye to any kind of a hook we'd bait
up. and then we began to waltz him
' 'Ever play em?" I asked him, and then
I had to stand for about 15 minutes of
his reminiscences of the trotters in" the
2:59 class that he'd seen gp at the county
fairs he said.
" 'Well, there's only one way to beat
em and that's to just know.' I told him.
"Not the one to play nobody knows that
but know the one that- has won; and then
get tho duff down good and hard.
"His mazarine .windows opened up some
at this, and 3, thought It was the greedy
" 'I can.only get the results of the West
ern races 15 minutes before the poolrooms'
can get them: that's all only 15 min
utes.' I went on then." 'Maybe you per
ceive that that would help some 15 min
utes, you know.'
"He gave a gulp and a grin, and I gave
Jinx a kick on the leg under the table that
meant, 'Ain't it a shame to take the
"Then I told him that Red Riding Hood
about my pal, the chief operator down at
tho Western Union office, who for his cut
of tho yank-down passed me the names
of the winners and then held off from
sending 'em into the poolrooms- for a quar
ter of an hour to give me tho chance to
get the stuff down, and the moon-map
began to rock around 1n his chair, he
seemed to feel so good about it.
" 'When can I have a talk with that
man?" says he. meaning my chief operator
down at the Western Union building.-
" 'Sot until 11 o'clock tomorrow morn
ing, seeing that It's after, -midnight now,'
I said, and then he began. to ask mo a
whole plenty, of questions about the
scheme was I sure to get tho winners in
time to get tho coin down, was the chief
operator a man to be depended upon,
wasn't he afraid of losing his place, and
how could he afford to take such chances,
how hig a bet on a race would the pool
rooms take, what would happen If the
winner was disqualified after the money
went down, what part of the rake-oft
would Jim and I expect, and how much
did the chief operator on my staff ask
for his part of tho frame-up And so on,
until Jim had to stoop over and pretend
xo vick up something from the flooi iso's
he could hide his blushes, it looked so
much like the goods already crated and
"When the moon-face, after all of these
ensilage and alfalfa questions, remarked
that he had a little matter of $5000 lying
around loose that he wouldn't mind turn
ing over that's the way he said it. 'turn
ing over Jim just couldn't stand it any
longer. He had to go out and take the
"I arranged with the walking gelatinous
mass to meet him at 10 o'clock on tho
next morning and take him down to the
Western Union office to meet the chief
operator, and then I saw him to the feath
er and lace importers' hotel down the
line and tucked him away. Jim was with
" T can't do It, said Jim to me, crushing
my hat over my eyes, after we had put
the moon-facp away. 'It's a shame. It's
a -sin. It's scandalous. Damn it, I
couldn't spend tno money after getting It
co easy,' and Jim wallowed around and
hugged himself over the Idea of It. It's
like pinching a little girl's sldecombs on
her way to school. It's Ilka swiping an
orange off Blind Mary's stand. It's like
standing Tony up for a shine. I'll have
to donate my bit of the dough to the mis
sionary society for a sure thing It ud
hurt me too much to spend such child
"And, -as a matter of fact. It did look
every bit as good as Jim put It. We
couldn't go to bed for spending the silk
threaded yellows In. that mdonmap's" pock
"We excavated him from his little white
bunkette in-the morning, and took 'Kim
right down, to see the chief operator. I'd
tipped Big Ned off to do that stall for
"He just happened to be going through
tho corridor on the operating .floor, in his
shirtsleeves and with a pen behind his
ear, and looking too busy to scratch his
nose, when Jim and me and the moon-face
got there. Big. Ned put up the portly
and haughty bluff about its being hi busy
" "This gentleman is all right.' I passed
to him In the regular stage wnlsper, while
the moonface looked happy and self-conscious,
and then Big Ned said that he
would have to see us around the corner
in about half an hour.
" 'We went, to the place around .the cor
ner, and within 30 minutes Big ifed ,
he'd given a kid a dime tov hold his coat
for him at one end of the hall, see!
came around and joined us. He threw it
pretty curvy about the chances he was
taking with his billet that tho superin
tendent acted like he was next, and all
that, and the big Jell gaped at him open
mouthed. " 'This Isn't working for a bank, roll.''
Jim whispered to me. ';Th!s is .Juet. cork
ing off on a lawri under the. appfe' blos
soms and letting your best doll light your
cigarettes, for; you.'
" 'Are you going, to get a bunch .down
today?" Inquired Big; Ned. my chief oper
ator, rising in his businesslike way as
If preparing to go back to his duties in
the Western Union building. .
" 'That's what,' butted In our come-on,
and then Big Ned nodded to me, as
much as to say that he'd have the win
ners ready for jne and keep back the re
sults until I notified him that I had the
kirtish planted in the poolroom.
" "We'll be uptown, I told him, 'and
you'd better call me up on the 'phone and
give me the winners the minute they
" 'Sure thing,' said Big Ned, and then
Well, we brought the moon-mush right
up here and planted him in a corner, and
his lanterns were sticking out with an
ticipation of the-dust he was going to pan
out of the tundra before the afternoon
was over we though L n " -
' 'How much can we win 'today"?'' he
asked me, without ary' & wrinkle oa his
chart, and then Jim had to pretend to
fool with the free-lunch cat, and I
thought for a sure thing that his chuckle
would put the come-on next.
" That,' I replied! 'depends upon how
much you are willing to put up.'
"'Oh, he said, eagerly, 'I'll put up a
thousand dollars the first time, and if
you show me that the thing is all right,
why, I'll put up the rest f my five
thousand I've got five thousand with me,
you know on the next few races. That
will be all right, won't it?"
'"Well, they'll be fair bets. said I,
and then Jim had to pretend that he
was missing a dog fight or a runaway
out in front or something so that -he
could, bust out of the room. t
"A , little before 5 o'clock,, when the
first- J31" at Memphis was due, I put on
that husy look.
" "We'll be setting that first winner in
a few minutes,' I said to the moan-face,
'and as the poolroom is a block and a half
.away, maybe you'd better be passing me
the nrst-bet duff.'
"He hauled, out that- big" black leather;
and snapped- open the- compartment' con-.
rtaining the" five-hundred yellbw boys and.
X-I . could 6e at a glance that he had. a
whole 'lot more' than any $5000 In that
dough bag. Sort o' slyly, as if to keep
Jim and me from seeing how much he
had, he sifted' two of the five-hundred-dollar
bills out of the compartment and
passed them over to me. His hand seemed
to shake as he did so.
" 'I couldn't afford to lose all that
money, you know,' he said to xae, 'while
Jim blew his nose a heap.
"Thed the waiter that I'd fixed .came
a-lopln' along and told me that I was
wanted at" the 'phone.
" There's" winner number one,' said I to
the moon-map, and I slid into the tele
phone booth and held an Imaginary talk
"Then I hustled back to where the
come-on and Jim were sitting, got Jim,
and out we dashed to get the thousand
down on the -winner when you have.heen
moklng and doing your own cooking- all
night, that is. Jim and I went -to a little
plant a block or so away, and assembled
'our two waSS.' They made an. even thousand,
"After the proper length of time we
went a-busting back to where the moon
face sat, and the way the phosphorus
showed in his lamps when we appeared
was a pinny-poppy ehow.
" You win.' I said to him, in that real
matter-of-fact way of mine when talk
ing of big money to a sucker, 'but Glen
don, the horse that copped -the first at
Memphis, was only an even-money shot,'
and I shoved him over the two thousand
his two five-hundred ochre-tinted babes
and the hundreds and fifties that Jim
and me bad gone through ourselves and
tapped ourselves to get to make the game
look right to the come-on so's we could
squeeze the rest of his leather-full, out
oC him " 4
'""By-jinks', but that's an easily earned
thousand dollars, isn't it? said the moon
face. 'I certainly am much obliged ta
you gentlemen for showing me how this
thing is done. Now, how much shall I
let you bet for me now?"'
" Up to you,' says I, 'but you might as
well make a tap of it no user-waiting for
" 'Weil,' said he, 'supposing X" let you:
"Set iouf thousand on the next winner,
why, you can't' bet it all "iri one place,
"Oh, that end of It's all right, said
L There are two of us Jim, here, and
myself and there are a couple of rooms
in this, neighborhood, and each of us
could get two thousand down that part
of it's pie.
" 'By jrminetty, jihen, here's four thou
sand,' be said, and I thought that Jim.
was going to fall down where ha stood.
"The moon-chart pulled hi3 .leather out
again, and this time he opened wide the
pocket where the sepla-hued five hundred
boys were kept. He fumbled out six. of
them, and added them to the two that
he had given me in the first place and
that I had brought back to him with the
thousand Jim and me had made up.
""Supposing the winner is as much as
5 to 1? he asked me, kind o' haltingly
and doubtfully, before he passed me the
" -Oh, nothing, except that you win
twenty . thousand,! said I,, and. .then, he
looked like' a' kid with' a new" teething
"Just thea the waiter hopped in again
with word that I was wanted at the
'phone. I conversed with myself again,
rushed out. handed Jim four of the bills'
so that the moon-face could see me do
itand away wtTwent.
"We were hiking up- to" the flat so as to
get a place where we could, gloat right,
Jim and me, when we met a fly cop that
" "Hello, mates,' said the fly cop to
Jim and me. 'How you cutting it nowa
days?' " 'So-so.' we told him, feeling of those
cracklers in our clothes. -
" 'See you're mixing it with the1 shov
ers these days, hey?1" said the' Ay cop.
" 'Shovers? said Jim and me. together.
' Tep, said the fly cop. 'Saw you eat
ing suds and enjoying yourself around the
white light country last night with Swede
Sam, tho champeen shover of Chicago
and the whole West, for that matter,'
and the fly cop passed his way.
"I saw Jim getting chalky, and I felt
myself getting- that way. We didn't say
a word, but we rushed for a back roonu
where we could take, a peek at that
inbney the moon-face. had given us. Well,
that's- alL Phony? Yes; the; best bogus
papers I .ever1, had the feel of but bogus.
Jim was so stunned that he cooked and
smoked 36 pills in a row.
"We were passing by a lobster Joint
last night Jim and me wondering how
we could shore up a bank roll, for a flash
to work with, when, sitting-, under the
lights in the main window, we saw
Swede Sam and a doll a queen. He
saw U3 standing out on the curb, said
something to the doll, and they raised
their glasses to us and smirked and
nodded hang hlmV
Papa's Part la the Play.
Atchison Kansas Globe.
In this country it is not respectable for
a man's ' wife and daughters to .work,
but the harder the old man works the
more he is admired. They tell cheerful
stories about the old man; his little
children say "Papa is too busy, to , die."
but that is 'about-' all fie gets out of life
in. the way; of distinction.