THE SUNDAY OKEGONIAN, POETLA2-7D, JUNE 14, 1903. TIMELU TOPICS e7VRT007N 1STS HAVE FOUrtT AVAILABLE HANDS UP, BOYS! , dm .urn v: , From the Indianapolis News. a game: op hold-up. GLEAEING THE PRESIDENTIAL WAY OPPOSlTiOf .a,-. .. From the Indianapolis News. 'SENATOR HANXA ROLLS BrG:BOULDER: OFF- THE 'TRACKS !: . , ..'j " "..'',"!' From the St. Paul "PIoneer,'press. , UNCLE MARK 'AfesvMXGOT,'EIbBCKBX AND rSBrGLADTOU GOT II.' ON THE BOARDS FOR THIRTY DAYS . ft ' ' l From the St. Paul Pioneer Press. SOMETHING OF A PIONEER HIMSELF ' ' '' ' ' '" Across the'contlnent cams the ox-drawn, white-topped wacons bearlnff the pioneer, . who entered Into this country to possess it. President Roosevelt's "speech at Port land, Or. " " . .-Frdm the Detroit Free Presii ' ; , - . . A; ll GUILE, OF A MAN WITH A MOON FACE Di'd WiTw5f-ra Jfew York. Sun. HE next time I play moon-face for a hanky-pank the kind that runs to see -where the are Is every time tho village gong sounds I Tvant somebody to present me with, freedom of the nut factory on a Trodden platter," disgustedly remarked in his hour of relaxation not to say of collapse the -wire-tapper who cever tapped a wire. He was screwed -up in an alcove scat In one of tho Upper Broadway hotel cafes, nd there was a baleful light in his beady, bloodshot eyes as he told a pair of his pals ibout it. "It's getting so in this business," he went on, "that- the ones -that look the softest are tho kind you've. go to turn b. sandblast on and then pound on tho head with a riveter's mallet. They won't pay 40 cents for a gold dollar with a suit of clothes and a naphtha launch thrown In. But that's rjot the worst of it the way these new suckers refuse to let go. They've got a sting working. "We spiked this moon-face-Jlm and me, that I started to tell you about, four Says ago. He was buying his Juico for; oimseji in me oar 01 one ot tnose leather wd lace Importers' hotels down tire way oelow Fourteenth, and Jim and me .both pot the flash at his leather at the same minute. It was about as long as a. bath mat, and the centuries and five hundreds tnd papers with M In the corner were popping out of ever' pocket of It. " 'Just look at our money Jim whis pered to me when we got the peek at that pent-up stack of saffron cracklers, and I telt every bit as gay as Jim did about tho moon-face and the bundle he was tempo rarily packing around with him. "Ho had a map on him like a Hallowe'en pun'kin a big, tallowy-haired jell, he was, tnd he looked so soft that Jim warned me tot to poke him In the ribs in handing him In argument for fear I might punch a hole (n him with my finger. He had lamps of the color of bluing in the stationary tuo Sf a Monday morning, and, although he tvas togged all right, he just looked Che nango County and nothing else. "The butt-in was easy. J -pretended lhat I had . half-euds, gave him a wallop on the back and called hira Bill, and he fell to the good cheer without a contort. Then I let Jim In and it was the three of us for a cab and a knock-around up thia way, me doing my share of the buying, but letting the moon-faco dig for a quart now and then. Just so Jim and me could enjoy the flash of our money which this stiff with the Luna mush was carrying around. "Jim and me didn't begin to patter any horse until after we figured that the large yellow perch was in shape to give the woozy eye to any kind of a hook we'd bait up. and then we began to waltz him around. ' 'Ever play em?" I asked him, and then I had to stand for about 15 minutes of his reminiscences of the trotters in" the 2:59 class that he'd seen gp at the county fairs he said. " 'Well, there's only one way to beat em and that's to just know.' I told him. "Not the one to play nobody knows that but know the one that- has won; and then get tho duff down good and hard. "His mazarine .windows opened up some at this, and 3, thought It was the greedy glint " 'I can.only get the results of the West ern races 15 minutes before the poolrooms' can get them: that's all only 15 min utes.' I went on then." 'Maybe you per ceive that that would help some 15 min utes, you know.' "He gave a gulp and a grin, and I gave Jinx a kick on the leg under the table that meant, 'Ain't it a shame to take the money?" "Then I told him that Red Riding Hood about my pal, the chief operator down at tho Western Union office, who for his cut of tho yank-down passed me the names of the winners and then held off from sending 'em into the poolrooms- for a quar ter of an hour to give me tho chance to get the stuff down, and the moon-map began to rock around 1n his chair, he seemed to feel so good about it. " 'When can I have a talk with that man?" says he. meaning my chief operator down at the Western Union building.- " 'Sot until 11 o'clock tomorrow morn ing, seeing that It's after, -midnight now,' I said, and then he began. to ask mo a whole plenty, of questions about the scheme was I sure to get tho winners in time to get tho coin down, was the chief operator a man to be depended upon, wasn't he afraid of losing his place, and how could he afford to take such chances, how hig a bet on a race would the pool rooms take, what would happen If the winner was disqualified after the money went down, what part of the rake-oft would Jim and I expect, and how much did the chief operator on my staff ask for his part of tho frame-up And so on, until Jim had to stoop over and pretend xo vick up something from the flooi iso's he could hide his blushes, it looked so much like the goods already crated and .shipped. "When the moon-face, after all of these ensilage and alfalfa questions, remarked that he had a little matter of $5000 lying around loose that he wouldn't mind turn ing over that's the way he said it. 'turn ing over Jim just couldn't stand it any longer. He had to go out and take the air. "I arranged with the walking gelatinous mass to meet him at 10 o'clock on tho next morning and take him down to the Western Union office to meet the chief operator, and then I saw him to the feath er and lace importers' hotel down the line and tucked him away. Jim was with me. " T can't do It, said Jim to me, crushing my hat over my eyes, after we had put the moon-facp away. 'It's a shame. It's a -sin. It's scandalous. Damn it, I couldn't spend tno money after getting It co easy,' and Jim wallowed around and hugged himself over the Idea of It. It's like pinching a little girl's sldecombs on her way to school. It's Ilka swiping an orange off Blind Mary's stand. It's like standing Tony up for a shine. I'll have to donate my bit of the dough to the mis sionary society for a sure thing It ud hurt me too much to spend such child ish mazoom. "And, -as a matter of fact. It did look every bit as good as Jim put It. We couldn't go to bed for spending the silk threaded yellows In. that mdonmap's" pock et Gladstone. "We excavated him from his little white bunkette in-the morning, and took 'Kim right down, to see the chief operator. I'd tipped Big Ned off to do that stall for me. "He just happened to be going through tho corridor on the operating .floor, in his shirtsleeves and with a pen behind his ear, and looking too busy to scratch his nose, when Jim and me and the moon-face got there. Big. Ned put up the portly and haughty bluff about its being hi busy minute. " "This gentleman is all right.' I passed to him In the regular stage wnlsper, while the moonface looked happy and self-conscious, and then Big Ned said that he would have to see us around the corner in about half an hour. " 'We went, to the place around .the cor ner, and within 30 minutes Big ifed , he'd given a kid a dime tov hold his coat for him at one end of the hall, see! came around and joined us. He threw it pretty curvy about the chances he was taking with his billet that tho superin tendent acted like he was next, and all that, and the big Jell gaped at him open mouthed. " 'This Isn't working for a bank, roll.'' Jim whispered to me. ';Th!s is .Juet. cork ing off on a lawri under the. appfe' blos soms and letting your best doll light your cigarettes, for; you.' " 'Are you going, to get a bunch .down today?" Inquired Big; Ned. my chief oper ator, rising in his businesslike way as If preparing to go back to his duties in the Western Union building. . " 'That's what,' butted In our come-on, and then Big Ned nodded to me, as much as to say that he'd have the win ners ready for jne and keep back the re sults until I notified him that I had the kirtish planted in the poolroom. " "We'll be uptown, I told him, 'and you'd better call me up on the 'phone and give me the winners the minute they come in.' " 'Sure thing,' said Big Ned, and then he drilled. Well, we brought the moon-mush right up here and planted him in a corner, and his lanterns were sticking out with an ticipation of the-dust he was going to pan out of the tundra before the afternoon was over we though L n " - ' 'How much can we win 'today"?'' he asked me, without ary' & wrinkle oa his chart, and then Jim had to pretend to fool with the free-lunch cat, and I thought for a sure thing that his chuckle would put the come-on next. " That,' I replied! 'depends upon how much you are willing to put up.' "'Oh, he said, eagerly, 'I'll put up a thousand dollars the first time, and if you show me that the thing is all right, why, I'll put up the rest f my five thousand I've got five thousand with me, you know on the next few races. That will be all right, won't it?" '"Well, they'll be fair bets. said I, and then Jim had to pretend that he was missing a dog fight or a runaway out in front or something so that -he could, bust out of the room. t "A , little before 5 o'clock,, when the first- J31" at Memphis was due, I put on that husy look. " "We'll be setting that first winner in a few minutes,' I said to the moan-face, 'and as the poolroom is a block and a half .away, maybe you'd better be passing me the nrst-bet duff.' "He hauled, out that- big" black leather; and snapped- open the- compartment' con-. rtaining the" five-hundred yellbw boys and. X-I . could 6e at a glance that he had. a whole 'lot more' than any $5000 In that dough bag. Sort o' slyly, as if to keep Jim and me from seeing how much he had, he sifted' two of the five-hundred-dollar bills out of the compartment and passed them over to me. His hand seemed to shake as he did so. " 'I couldn't afford to lose all that money, you know,' he said to xae, 'while Jim blew his nose a heap. "Thed the waiter that I'd fixed .came a-lopln' along and told me that I was wanted at" the 'phone. " There's" winner number one,' said I to the moon-map, and I slid into the tele phone booth and held an Imaginary talk with nobody. "Then I hustled back to where the come-on and Jim were sitting, got Jim, and out we dashed to get the thousand down on the -winner when you have.heen moklng and doing your own cooking- all night, that is. Jim and I went -to a little plant a block or so away, and assembled 'our two waSS.' They made an. even thousand, "After the proper length of time we went a-busting back to where the moon face sat, and the way the phosphorus showed in his lamps when we appeared was a pinny-poppy ehow. " You win.' I said to him, in that real matter-of-fact way of mine when talk ing of big money to a sucker, 'but Glen don, the horse that copped -the first at Memphis, was only an even-money shot,' and I shoved him over the two thousand his two five-hundred ochre-tinted babes and the hundreds and fifties that Jim and me bad gone through ourselves and tapped ourselves to get to make the game look right to the come-on so's we could squeeze the rest of his leather-full, out oC him " 4 '""By-jinks', but that's an easily earned thousand dollars, isn't it? said the moon face. 'I certainly am much obliged ta you gentlemen for showing me how this thing is done. Now, how much shall I let you bet for me now?"' " Up to you,' says I, 'but you might as well make a tap of it no user-waiting for another day.' " 'Weil,' said he, 'supposing X" let you: "Set iouf thousand on the next winner, why, you can't' bet it all "iri one place, can youT "Oh, that end of It's all right, said L There are two of us Jim, here, and myself and there are a couple of rooms in this, neighborhood, and each of us could get two thousand down that part of it's pie. " 'By jrminetty, jihen, here's four thou sand,' be said, and I thought that Jim. was going to fall down where ha stood. "The moon-chart pulled hi3 .leather out again, and this time he opened wide the pocket where the sepla-hued five hundred boys were kept. He fumbled out six. of them, and added them to the two that he had given me in the first place and that I had brought back to him with the thousand Jim and me had made up. ""Supposing the winner is as much as 5 to 1? he asked me, kind o' haltingly and doubtfully, before he passed me the money. " -Oh, nothing, except that you win twenty . thousand,! said I,, and. .then, he looked like' a' kid with' a new" teething zing. , "Just thea the waiter hopped in again with word that I was wanted at the 'phone. I conversed with myself again, rushed out. handed Jim four of the bills' so that the moon-face could see me do itand away wtTwent. "We were hiking up- to" the flat so as to get a place where we could, gloat right, Jim and me, when we met a fly cop that we know. " "Hello, mates,' said the fly cop to Jim and me. 'How you cutting it nowa days?' " 'So-so.' we told him, feeling of those cracklers in our clothes. - " 'See you're mixing it with the1 shov ers these days, hey?1" said the' Ay cop. " 'Shovers? said Jim and me. together. ' Tep, said the fly cop. 'Saw you eat ing suds and enjoying yourself around the white light country last night with Swede Sam, tho champeen shover of Chicago and the whole West, for that matter,' and the fly cop passed his way. "I saw Jim getting chalky, and I felt myself getting- that way. We didn't say a word, but we rushed for a back roonu where we could take, a peek at that inbney the moon-face. had given us. Well, that's- alL Phony? Yes; the; best bogus papers I .ever1, had the feel of but bogus. Jim was so stunned that he cooked and smoked 36 pills in a row. "We were passing by a lobster Joint last night Jim and me wondering how we could shore up a bank roll, for a flash to work with, when, sitting-, under the lights in the main window, we saw Swede Sam and a doll a queen. He saw U3 standing out on the curb, said something to the doll, and they raised their glasses to us and smirked and nodded hang hlmV Papa's Part la the Play. Atchison Kansas Globe. In this country it is not respectable for a man's ' wife and daughters to .work, but the harder the old man works the more he is admired. They tell cheerful stories about the old man; his little children say "Papa is too busy, to , die." but that is 'about-' all fie gets out of life in. the way; of distinction.