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About Portland observer. (Portland, Or.) 1970-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 3, 2016)
Page 6 February 3, 2016 Family’s Lifetime Bond C ontinued from f ront life. “I can’t tell you what was going through his head, or why he did it, but we were heartbro- ken to see him fall back into that life and have him die so pointlessly,” she says. Like many sisters, wives, and mothers, Olive-Beltran was tasked with picking up the pieces surrounding her broth- er’s death. The light at the end of the tunnel, she says, was seeing the life her brother man- aged to save. “When we got to know the other family, and met the man who had Bobby’s heart, it was like my brother had been giv- en a chance to do something right,” she says. “It was like he managed to leave a gift for the world.” Merill’s family grew close to hers. For years, they wrote to each other and remembered the heart that tied them inextri- cably together. Olive-Beltran recalls the night her brother passed away at Emanuel Hos- pital, when her family irst Bobby Olive heard of Merill. Doctors asked her mother if the family would be willing to donate her son’s organs, specif- ically his heart. “They said there was one man who would not survive much longer but that Bobby’s heart could help him live,” his mother told media at the time. “I appreciate life, Bobby ap- preciated life, and we as a fam- ily believe in life,” she said in a statement back then. Today, that generosity is Virginia Merrill, the wife of Oregon’s irst heart transplant recipient, visits with Martha Van Arsdale during a family reunion a few years ago. Van Arsdale was the Portland mother of Bobby Olive who in 1986 made a fateful decision to medically donate her son’s heart after his untimely death, starting a new era for what was possible in preserving life. inspiration for Olive-Beltran as she embarks on a quest to get more people to sign up as transplant donors. “If my brother, a troubled young man who was hurting so much, could donate his or- gans, I believe anyone who can should,” she says, holding on to a picture of her brother. In the photo, he remains young. His eyes are distant and he is thin, dressed in a suit that portends a future he would never see. “My brother wanted to grow,” she says. “He struggled so much and he apol- ogized for disappointing us or hurting us, and I wish he could see our lives now. “ In 2012, Olive-Beltran’s mother passed away as well. Belinda however carries on the family friendships and looks back at how that decision to give her brother’s heart away was a natural act of love. “I do remember my moth- er stating when you lose your child it’s one of the most dif- icult losses you could possi- bly experience,” she explains. “When they asked her if she would donate Bobby’s heart, at irst she said she had to ask her Father, by which she meant she had to pray. She came back right away and said ‘yes.’ She came back and said ‘Take what you need; I just want to meet the recipient, if that’s okay.’ And I understand now, she wanted to follow her son’s heart and know where that life and strug- gle would go, and support that family so that no matter what heartbreak we went through, neither of us would have to go through it alone. Now that she’s gone, now that the recipi- ent is gone, the surviving fam- ilies have each other to lean on and I understand her request so much more now.” Olive-Beltran asks that peo- ple who hear her brother’s sto- ry consider signing up to be a donor themselves. “Ask yourself, what can do you do to help your fellow man? What if your child or spouse was the one who need- ed the heart? Wouldn’t you want someone to have that gift for you?” she says. “I know the happiness we gave Merrill’s family and that connection has lasted for more than a genera- tion – and I hope other people have the chance to share their sorrows too, instead of bearing them alone, and consider do- nating while they’re alive and well to make that decision, and that they tell their relatives as well.” Olive-Beltran and her fami- ly are spreading the word about their brother’s last gift and their family’s long healing process for Black History Month by throwing a fundraiser to help others with lifesaving trans- plants on Saturday, Feb. 13 at Aspire, 2601 S.E. 160th Ave. The event will take place from 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. and all donations will go to Donate Life Northwest. To sign up to be a donor, contact Donate Life Northwest at 1-800-452-1369 or visit do- natelifenw.org.
