Page 6
February 3, 2016
Family’s Lifetime Bond
C ontinued from f ront
life.
“I can’t tell you what was
going through his head, or why
he did it, but we were heartbro-
ken to see him fall back into
that life and have him die so
pointlessly,” she says.
Like many sisters, wives,
and mothers, Olive-Beltran
was tasked with picking up the
pieces surrounding her broth-
er’s death. The light at the end
of the tunnel, she says, was
seeing the life her brother man-
aged to save.
“When we got to know the
other family, and met the man
who had Bobby’s heart, it was
like my brother had been giv-
en a chance to do something
right,” she says. “It was like he
managed to leave a gift for the
world.”
Merill’s family grew close
to hers. For years, they wrote
to each other and remembered
the heart that tied them inextri-
cably together. Olive-Beltran
recalls the night her brother
passed away at Emanuel Hos-
pital, when her family irst
Bobby Olive
heard of Merill.
Doctors asked her mother if
the family would be willing to
donate her son’s organs, specif-
ically his heart.
“They said there was one
man who would not survive
much longer but that Bobby’s
heart could help him live,” his
mother told media at the time.
“I appreciate life, Bobby ap-
preciated life, and we as a fam-
ily believe in life,” she said in a
statement back then.
Today, that generosity is
Virginia Merrill, the wife of Oregon’s irst heart transplant recipient, visits with Martha Van Arsdale
during a family reunion a few years ago. Van Arsdale was the Portland mother of Bobby Olive who in
1986 made a fateful decision to medically donate her son’s heart after his untimely death, starting a
new era for what was possible in preserving life.
inspiration for Olive-Beltran
as she embarks on a quest to
get more people to sign up as
transplant donors.
“If my brother, a troubled
young man who was hurting
so much, could donate his or-
gans, I believe anyone who can
should,” she says, holding on
to a picture of her brother.
In the photo, he remains
young. His eyes are distant
and he is thin, dressed in a
suit that portends a future he
would never see. “My brother
wanted to grow,” she says. “He
struggled so much and he apol-
ogized for disappointing us or
hurting us, and I wish he could
see our lives now. “
In 2012, Olive-Beltran’s
mother passed away as well.
Belinda however carries on the
family friendships and looks
back at how that decision to
give her brother’s heart away
was a natural act of love.
“I do remember my moth-
er stating when you lose your
child it’s one of the most dif-
icult losses you could possi-
bly experience,” she explains.
“When they asked her if she
would donate Bobby’s heart,
at irst she said she had to ask
her Father, by which she meant
she had to pray. She came back
right away and said ‘yes.’ She
came back and said ‘Take what
you need; I just want to meet the
recipient, if that’s okay.’ And I
understand now, she wanted
to follow her son’s heart and
know where that life and strug-
gle would go, and support that
family so that no matter what
heartbreak we went through,
neither of us would have to
go through it alone. Now that
she’s gone, now that the recipi-
ent is gone, the surviving fam-
ilies have each other to lean on
and I understand her request so
much more now.”
Olive-Beltran asks that peo-
ple who hear her brother’s sto-
ry consider signing up to be a
donor themselves.
“Ask yourself, what can
do you do to help your fellow
man? What if your child or
spouse was the one who need-
ed the heart? Wouldn’t you
want someone to have that gift
for you?” she says. “I know the
happiness we gave Merrill’s
family and that connection has
lasted for more than a genera-
tion – and I hope other people
have the chance to share their
sorrows too, instead of bearing
them alone, and consider do-
nating while they’re alive and
well to make that decision, and
that they tell their relatives as
well.”
Olive-Beltran and her fami-
ly are spreading the word about
their brother’s last gift and their
family’s long healing process
for Black History Month by
throwing a fundraiser to help
others with lifesaving trans-
plants on Saturday, Feb. 13 at
Aspire, 2601 S.E. 160th Ave.
The event will take place from
5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. and all
donations will go to Donate
Life Northwest.
To sign up to be a donor,
contact Donate Life Northwest
at 1-800-452-1369 or visit do-
natelifenw.org.