The new age. (Portland, Or.) 1896-1905, January 25, 1902, Image 2

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The new age., January 25, 1902, Image 2

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Newspaper Page TextV THE NEW AGE, POIt'J,LAJm OREGON. J TOPICS OF 77 77WES. The University of Chicago continues to ha a HtrotiK favorite of the boas giinta CluiiH. When u limn KtiL'HHUH ho can knock nnothur man down he usually makes u rough estimate. If a quarrelsome limn has two Ideas In his head they would probably fall out with each other. Necessity Is said to he the mother of Invention -hut as to the father thereof history Is painfully silent. The biggest hold-ups are tho fcllowH who make a daylight Job of It, llrst having stolen your conlldence. Mve complained that she had nothing to wear and her daughters have been -working the same old plaint ever since. A dispatch says that Helen Gould Is Annoyed by a crank who keeps send ing her great bunches of American lleauty roses. Isn't it awful? It has been said that King 1-Mward looks perfectly at home In whatever he w.ears. This is a glad assurance that his crown will be ipiUc becoming. At a sale of relics of Kdwln Ilnoth In New York two letters to thu actor from a woman who asked for "but one glance of your eye" brought good prices. Perhaps her husband Vas there when the binding started. Heportlug a shortage of over ?.'1,000, 000, the great Buffalo exposition can not be said to "pan out well" Iluaucial ly. Hut. the loss Is distributed among ho many stockholders, and thu honcllts of thu fair have been so far-reaching, that "failure" Is the last word to couple with It. "Ho long as there Is wood to saw In the world, 1 need no gymnasium," re marked a cynic, listening to it discus hIoii as to whuru exercise was neces mirj for grown men. In the sumo spirit one might coucludu that so long as there are Intellectual problems to tackle, one needs no game of skill. Doubtless thu realities shutild havu precedence. A Iloston physician, who recently treated a street car conductor for an In fectious dlseasu contracted by holding impcr money In his mouth while mak ing change, warns people against this habit and thu practice of wetting tho lingers In the mouth while counting money. Ho remarks upon thu swift ness nnil certainty with which paper handled by Infected persons may trans mit disease. "It Is u matter of common experience," ho says, "that thu bank bill passes more rapidly out of one's IMissesslon that any other known arti cle." Kveti thoso who scoff at sanitary precautious must admit that this Is nadly, painfully true. Hitherto It has been possible for tho world-weary person to escapu from thu sight and hoiiiuI of busy mankind by boarding n'shlp for anywhere. He could for six days or six mouths, ac cording to his destination null his ship, bo entirely free from all knowledgo of thu facts and rumors which trouble thu ear ashore. Mr. Marconi has chang ed all that. Under thu wireless sys tem It Is Impossible to get beyond thu reach of tho dally Interests of mankind. Eventually, perhaps, no ship will leave port without an apparatus for receiv ing Wall street quotations and bulle tins of thu events In uvery part of thu world. Nothing will bu left for the vic tim of nervous exhaustion but to enter a cave until soiuu pestilent scientist shall discover an X-ray which will car ry suuud through opaque substances. Thu dean of thu women's department of one of our great universities du dares that shu no longer anticipates dltllcultles, but thu unexpected helps which will remove dllllcultles. Timid by nature, shu used to say that shu could never survlvu thu shuck of Had ing a burglar In her room. Onu night recently shu awoke, conscious that aoinu one was fumbling at her desk. Thu room was quite dark; the clock i truck one. Shu lay there considering what to do, not at all frightened, but very Indignant at being robbed. Many minutes passed; the burglar still moved Mtcalthlly about. Meanwhile thu dean hud formulated a plan. Calling her youthful veutrlloqulstlu skill Into ser vice, shu said In a dee)) voice, seeming ly at the burglar's elbow, "Hodle, light thu gas." Her maid In thu next room, thus called by her last name, shot out of bed ami thu burglar shot out of the window. Investigation proved that thu man's search had not yet reached thu drawer containing the valuables, "Ho robbed mu only of what I could well spare," the dean laughed "my fears." Thusu who are wont to shako their beads over thu extravagances of this Ago give au extra shake when they contemplate thu amount of Ingenuity that goes to thu making of and thu Amount of money that goes to the pur chase of moderu toys. There Is hardly Any article that grown up people use, either In the way of work or play, that Is not reproduced In thu toy world, Thu luxuries of thu ballroom, thu utilities of thu kitchen, and wardrobes of tho wealthy are all to be had In miniature, nd to visit a playroom Is to seo our selves ns tho toymaker sees us, Tho child of three decades ago was content .with u hairless rocking horso and a Noah's nrk In which the goats were scarcely to bo distinguished from the lambs; but now the modern hoy de mands that tho horse shall have hnlr nnd n gait of Its own, and that the maker of toy arks shall vie with na ture In the creation of nnlmnls. As for dolls, when one remembers the creature of rags and tags which llrst Issued out of tlint doll chaos, the fam ily rag hag, nnd compares her with, the llnlshed wax maiden of to-day, who lacks nothing but n soul, nnd does not differ In this respect from human pro totypes, one Is convinced that this Is Indeed n world of progress. Of courso dissolution arrives to the Inhabitants of toyland more quickly than It does to thoso who llvo In the real world, nnd It Is a question whether It Is worth while spending much money on what Is destined to bo so speedily destroyed. Hut, Judging from the growing variety of toys and tho Increasing number of buyers, this question seems to bo an swered In the nlllrmutlve. Much Is being said these days 01 "manifest destiny." One authority on destiny Is seldom heard now-ndays. Josh Hillings Is In his gravo but In his time he had something to say about this mattet'.asuotuthefollowlng: "Man ifest destiny Is the science ov going tew bust, or enny other place, before yu git thare. I may he roug In this centl ment, but that Iz the way It strikes mo. Tho tru way that mnnlfess destiny had better be sot down Iz, the exact dis tance that a frog kau Jump down bill with a striped suaku after him. 1 don't kno hut I tuny bu rung oust more; but, If thu frog don't git ketched, tho des tiny I. Just what ho Iz looking for. When a man falls Into the bottom ov a well, and makes up hlz mind tow stay thare, that ain't maulfess destiny enny more than having yure hair cut short Iz; but, If he almost gits out, mid then fulls down iiglu sixteen foot deeper, and brakes off his neck twice In thu same plasc, and dies and Iz burled thare at low water, that Iz mau lfess destiny on thu square. Ml dear reader, don't beleave In maulfess des tiny until you seo It. Thare Is such a thing as maulfess destiny; but when It occurs It Iz like thu number ov rings on tho rakoou's tale ov no great con sequence onla for ornament. Man w'au't made for a machine; If he waz, It waz a locomntlff machine, and maul fess destiny must git oph from thu trak when the bell rings, or git knocked higher than thu price ov gold. Maulfess destiny Iz a dlsseaze, but It Iz' easy tew heal; I havu seen It In Its wust tages cured hi sawing a cord ov (hi hickory wood." POOR HEN WORKED OVERTIME. Hut All Her Kflorta to Hutch the Kick Were In Vain. A group of suburbanites congregated In the reading terminal, awaiting thu opening of the train gate, a few diiys ago, were indulging In small talk, when a remark made by one of them caused u fcllow-suburlmulto to say: "That Just reminds mo. Speaking of Jokes, I think I am as good-natured us any one when I get caught, but n little more than a mouth ago some of the men at the otllce played onu on mu that gives mo Just cause for exaspera tion, especially as I discovered only last week that the Jokers had mo for their victim. "One of my hens had gone 'broody' and a chicken fancier whom I knew well presented mu with thirteen eggs from onu of his prize hens, all done up neatly In a box. At lunch tlmu while I was out the deed was perpetrated. In nocently I gave those eggs to my boy, with special Instructions for Betting tho hen. That fowl worked faithfully with those eggs, even putting In overtime on some days. Finally when thu three weeks were up she began to grow Im patient and would cluck about that nest In a most disturbed fashion, eying the eggs suspiciously. She would, however, get on the nest again and patiently await results. "Several days ago I went to tho hen house to Investigate," continued tho suburbanite, according to thu Phila delphia Itecord, "and a morn bewilder ed fowl than that hen was I never did see. jho had as a last resort, and prob ably"ln anger, pecked every one of those thirteen eggs. Thu whole lot had been hard-boiled by my fresh otllce as sociates, which fact Immediately made clear to me why they were all so much Interested In that particular hatching." IMploniHoy of the President. Tho velvety-voiced politicians who go to thu White House get some Jolts from President Itoosuvelt. When tho execu tive meets thu callers In the morning he has them rounded up In tho reception-room, and sometimes there arc a score In the room at ouee. Mr. Itoosu velt bustles In and ropes at 'thu tlrst shorthorn he sees, tlntshes with him In short onler and goes down tho lino In the Hume brisk manner. No contldencvs aru exchanged. Tho sly politician grasps thu President by the lapel, puts his lips closo to thu executive ear and whispers his little tale. Thu President replies In a voice audible throughout tho room, gives tho wholo snap uwny, not only revealing the object of thu vis itor's call but disclosing his action. In thu case of a "turn-down" this Is very painful, Washington Star. Flrat Htrt'ot Hallway. Tho tlrst street railroad was laid In Now York In 183:!, between the City Hall and 14th street. Warning to professional visitors; When a woman discovers it bedbug shu traces It to tho last guest who slept at her house. Some peoplu can absorb Just so much Information, nnd, after they have reached their limit, never learu uugr-thing. 01 T HE CELEBRATED COLUMBIA BREWERY AUOTBT BUCHLER,.Prop. Thl well-known brewery In now turning out the bent Ileer nnil Portcrcast of tho Cascades. The latest appliances tor the manufacture nf good healthful lleer hare been Introduced, and only tho tint-class artlclo will be placed on tha market. East Second Street THE DALLES, OR. Z. F. MOODY THE DALLES, OR. General Forwarding Commission Merchant. Offices and Warehouses at RAILROAD AND STEAAIER DEPOTS Wool handling nnr specialty. Grain bought and sold. The Regulator Line The Dalles, Portland S Astoria ... NAVIGATION COMPANY ... Through Freight Passenger Line Dally Line of Sttamtrs Between Portland', Vancouver, Cascade Locks, Hood River and All Points on the Washington Side. The Steamers Dalles City and Regulator leave Portland every morning (except Sunday) at 7 and Tho Dalles hi 8 A. M arriving at destina tion In ample time (or outgoing trains. Frmlmht Hat mm Ormmtly Kmm'ummm'. W. C. ALLAWAY, (ten. Agent, Foot ot Court Street, Th Dalles, Or. Columbia Brewery Thm OmtmbrmtmrnJ AUOtlST BUCHLER, Propr. Ot the product ol this well-known brewery, the United States Health Reports lor June at, 1900, says; "A more superior brew never entered the labratoryot the United States Health Re ports. It Is absolutely devoid of the lightest trace of adulteration, but on the other hand Is composed o( the best of malt and choicest of nops. jisionioquaimes are 01 tne nignrsi.ann u can oe usea wun tno greatest neneni satisfaction br old and vounr. Ita uaa earl cieullouslr b urworlbOd ,br tha nhfalll w with the certainty that a better, purer orVm wholesome beverage could not possibly JVI1UU. Cmmt JsjetMNf at., THE DALLES, OH. Willi Willi, Wash., Advertising. McBride Bros. LIVERY STABLE. Rubber Tired Hacks a Specialty. Baggage 'Wagons. WALLA WALLA, WASH. Telephone 66. 124 E. Main St. HOTEL DACRES S. SIMON, Proprietor. Formerly Simon HoUSC Ratest $2.50 to $3.00. WALLA WALLA, WASH. GILBERT HUNT CO. Machine Shop and Foundry Willi Willi, Washington. Manufacturers ol PRIDE OF WASHING TON Threshers, Self Feeders, Drap- . ers and Machine Eztires of Every Description. REPAIR WORK A SPECIALTY. Catalogue Free. City Chop House and Restaurant A. A. HAFLKNQEIl A CO., Props, Open day and night. Private Rooms for Lad Its. Luuchea put up lor Travelers. 11 Third St. North, bet. Ankeny and Burnsldt. PORTLAND. OKKGOK. Flt FinlsM Rhms RifrtstaiBts - Cuba Cafe - ROBERT SCHULZE, Propr. ID. WHITEHEAD, Mgr. MMM FmuHh Mtrmt, Opp. Chamber ol Commerce, PORTLAND OB MOHTMI UVEDTISEMENTS. CLOTHES THAT WEAR and arc fit to wear, bear our label, Barbers' Coats, Walters' Jackets and! Aprons Cans & Klein, HELENA AND BUTTE, MONTANA. HERRMANN A CO. Furniture and Carpets, 201-203 Bromdwm'y. Undertakers and Embalmers, 129 Bromttwmy, Telephone 340. HKLKNA, MONT. Kessler Brewery... BREWERS AND BOTTLERS Of Hlgh-Grado Beer, Holona, - - Montana CAM. AT TIIK Keller Studio ! fine Photographs roit your We havo all the latest styles In Mount. Bring your Kodak work nnd get prices. ICI I CD 137U N- Mnln 8trr.it, rvCLLCK) Opp. 1'. O. Helena, Mont. WEST COAST OYSTER CO. Importers, Planters A Dealers In .Eastern and Paoifio Coast Oysters. 142 lOtli St., Opposlto Exposition Dldg. . . Ilrnnch of Darbco A Immcl Oyster Co,, Union Square Market, flan Kralicl-co, Oil. Oyster lied. Pun Francisco Hay and Oyslcrvllte.Hlionl water liny. Origon I'hono Botitli -tali Colum bia Phone 01 H. i-'reo Delivery. ..THE BROOKE DRUG CO.. Prescriptions Accurately and Care fully Compounded. Telephones Columbia 7C0, Oregon Itcil 1&04 Prescription - Druggists 67 North Third Street PORTLAND - - OREGON PRANGER'S ARCADE 30, 3a, 34 North Sixth Street, Corner Couch. ...BILLIARDS AND POOL... Ladies' and dents' Reading Room E. H. SPRANOGR, Prop. Oregon I'lioiio Mnln 754. Columbia I'honu 754 Portland, Oregon. Baggage and Omnibus Transfer ...COMPANY... Office 8. W. Cor. Fourth and mark Bts. Telephone 639. t'OHTI.ANl), OltKtiON. Exchange Your Checks With Messenger on Trains and Order Carriages or Coupes. Unpgiij;o checked at real tleucu to uny deatlnatioii. Drench Offices: Hotel Portland; United Carriage Co., fttventh and Taylor. L. H. ADAMS, Mgr. "THE PINE fp 266 Pine Street, Between Third and Fourth... CHAS. BAUMQARTEN, Prop. Choice Wines, Liquors and Cigars Family Rooms. Arthur Dm Marshall. Rmmt Emtmtm and Mortgage Loan Farme and Tlmher Land. AauNffeaf tmr rMmntB. mai-aTtilMim. jftaWlMef, Onmmmm. Ask Your Dealer For " THAMC jj y USA MARK. II MttTEamrcs BY RAIX AHD WATBrt. A STQRU & COLUMBII "WW Im SUM Pflsssei ins Dolli WITH THROUGH PARLOR CAR nKTWLKN Portland, Astoria Seaside Leaves Union Depot Portland For Mavgers. tlaln lef.Clatskanlc Wcitport, Clifton, Astoria, Warren ton, Klavel, Gear hart Park and Sea side. Astoria & Bcathore Express Dully, Astoria Express Dally. Arrives Union Depot rortiana 8:00 a. tn. 11:10 a.m. t:40p. m. 6:Mp.m. (2:30 p.m. Dully except Saturday. (Saturday only. Ticket office, 25S Morrison street, and Union depot, Portland. J. C. MAYO, Ocn. Pass. Agent, Astoria, Or. SHAVER TRANSPORTATION CO. STEAMER GEO. W. SHAVER, Will leave Portland, foot ot Washington St.. Btinclay, Tuesday and Thursday evening at S o'clock, (or sauvlcs Island, Ht. Helens, Canles, Deer fslnnd, Martins, Kalama, Ncer City, Hauler, Mt. Ooflln, Mayger, rJtclla, Oak Point, Krcematia, Maiuanlllo,tilaUkanie and all way landing. "BEST OF EVERYTHING" In a word this tells ol the pas senger scrvlco via THE NORTHWESTERN LINE 5ght Trains Dally between St. Paul and Chicago, comprising The Latest I'litlmnii Hlrwpcrs, Peerlxss Dining Cars, Library anil Obsarvntlon Care, free lteollnlns; Ulialr Cars. TIIK TWENTIKTH CENTURY THAIN "THE NORTHWESTERN LIMITED" Runs Every Day ot the. Year. The Finest Train in the World Electric Lighted Steam Heated TO CHICAGO BY DAYUOHT. The Dadger State Express, the finest Day Train r.unnlng Iletween Bt. Paul and Chicago via the tihort Line. Connection from the .West made via. The Northern PaclGc, Great Northern and Canadian Pacific Railways This Is also th best line between Omaha, St Paul and Minneapolis. All Agents sell Tickets via "The Northwest ern Line." ( W. M. MEAD, Oencral Agent. H. L. SISLGR, T. A. B48 AlderStreet, 1'ortland, Or. 4 BEST UIINE TO St. Paul, Minneapolis, Dnlntb, Chicago, AND ALL POINTS EAST. Through Palace and Tourist Sleepers, Dining Cars (meals a la carte), lliiffet, Smoklug, Library Cars. For ticket and full Information regarding Eastern trip, call at city ticket riffle, Vii Third street. A a. U. DENNISTON, City Pass, and Ticket Agent, ..THE REGULATOR LINE.. The Dalle.. Portland Astoria Navigation 0o COLUMBIA RIVER SCENERY. STEAMERS Dalles Glty anal Regulator "ft" COLUMBIA RIVER tt BCTWECH Portland, Cascade Locks, Hood River and The Dalles, For Information call on or address M. V. HARRISON, Agent, Oak Htreet Dock, IMIHTLAM), OK. Oregon Pone tit. Col, Fone 493. Or V. C ALLAWAY, Gcnl. Agt Tha Dalits, Or. K. J. SMITH, Trav. Am BARR HOTEL European and American Plan. Furnished in First-Class Style. Newhoat, newly famished, two blocks frors Onion depot Jill tha modern Improvements, re-proof, hot and cold watar, centrally la ta ted. latM, 91 and $1.25 a Day. MeakMc, Batata. Cat. Slztk aat GllMa, Portluic. JBsTI rftv skMPH H Ity KAIL AND WATKB. ssBBsaw g,1,M,w jjfc earnm OREGON Shot line and union Pacific TIME SCHEDULES Portlind, O Dkfsbt AKRIVI Chicago Portland Special D'.uOa. m. via Huntington. Ealt Lake. Denver, Ft. Worth.Omaha, Kansai City, Ht. Louls.Chlcagonnd East. 4p.ra, At'antlo Express 8:to p.m. via Huntington. Walla Walla Iwls toii.Hptikatie.Mln. neapolls.Ht. Paul, Diiluth. tlllwan kee.ChlcagoJiKasI a, 10 a.m. St. Paul Fot Mall Ctlo p. in. via Epokano Belt Lake. Denver, Ft. Worth.Omaha, Kansas City, Ht. lxiuls,Ciilcngoaud East. 7:00a, m. OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE KllOM PORTLAND. 1:1)0 p.m. All railing latci subjvet to change For Kan Franclaco ball every 6 day a 4:N p. m. Dally P.x. Monday ftl0uti.ni. taturdny lu:W) p. in. Columbla niter Sttsmsrs. To Astoria and Way Landings. 4,n p. in. Kx. Buudsy CitAa.tn. Mon., Wed, and Frl. Wlllsmtlla mtr. Water permitting, Oregon City. New. 4iS0p. in. Kx.Hunday berg. Huleiii. lnilc pcudence, Cnrval. lis and Way Land ings 7:00 a. in. Tucs., Th u r. and Hut. Willamette and Ysm hill Hltsrs. Water permitting. Oregon City, Uny. Inn, .fa May Laud ll'K. 3;X p. in. Hon., Wed. and Frl. Lv. Klparla 4:05 a. tn. Snike Rer. Klparla lo Lewlston I.V.IOWlltOB 7:iKi a. m. Daily except Monday. Dally except Monuay A. L. CRAIG, General Passenger Agent. Portland, Or. V. A. ECIIII.I.INO. City Ticket Agent. Third and Washington Utroets. SOUTH AND EAST VIA SOUTHERN PACIFIC CO. Shasta Route. Train leave Drain for Portland and way stations at I'.'iUt p. m, and 1:23 a. in. Leave Portland 8:30"a7xl" 8:30 lW. Drali 3:4(1 P.M. 2:63 A, M Arrtte Ashland 1!;MA,H, 12:35 P.JM. HHcrxmcnto 6:10 P. M, 6:oo a, M " fan Francisco 7:45 P. M. 8:43 A. M. Arrive Ogdeu 4:55 A.M. 7:00 A, Ml " Denver wUfclA. It. 9:15 P.M. Kmikas City 7:'J5A. M. 7:25 A. M. Chicago 7M2 A. XI. 8:30 P. M. Arrhe Los AngelFs 2:Uflr.M, 8:05 a. M. F.I Pan 6:00 P. M. 6:00 P. M. " Fort Worth. .. :3ii a. . 6:30 A.M. ' city of Mexlco...ll:S0A, M. ll:30A,M. ' llonaton .....7:WA.M. 7:ooa. M. " New Orleans 6:30 p. M. e:30 P. M. " Washlngto 6:42 A, M. 6:42 a. M. " New York 12:10P.M. 12:10 P.M. Pullman and Tourlit cars on both trains. Chair cars bacraineiitn to Ogden and Kl Paso, and Tourlkt cars to Chicago, 61. Lonis, Now Orleans and Washington. Connecting at San Francisco with the several steainshlplines for Honolulu, Japan, China, Philippines, Central and South America. Bee agent at Drain station or address R, B. MILLER. G. P. A., Portland, Oregon. WHITE COLLAR LINE Portland -Astoria Route STEAMER "RAILEY OATZERT" Daily round trips except Sunday. Tlmm OmrmJ. Iave Portland. Leave Astoria. ...7 A. M -.7 P, M The Dalles-Portland Route STEAMER "TAHOMA." Between Portland, The Dalles and Way Points. Tlmm Oaxaf. Have Portland Tues. Thur. and Bat...... 7 A. XI m Arrive The Dalles, same day .6 P. M Uave The Dalles Bun. Wed. and FrU,... 7 A. M Arrive Portland, same day j. M 'This rnlitfi htt. lh.Mnrf..t ...i. ...... Undlng: Fopt of Alder St., Portland. Oregon. Both 'phonea Main 35L A.J.TAYLOR, Agt., Astoria. J. C. YATT, Act.. Vancouver. WOUOftD A WYKRo, Agts.. White Salmon. PRATHElt A UARNE&. Agu., Hood StVer. B. W. CUICHTON. AgC Portland. ' THE HOUSE FURNISHING GO. (Incorporated.) Manufacturers of Woven Wire Mattresses. rCU.,Port.le"' R,I" '" Curtains. Bhade. Furniture, Wall Paper, Picture Frame, Mattresses, Bedding. Untie rtaking and embalming a specialty Stores at Albany and Salem, Ore. Factory at Albany, Ore. Masonic Temple, Albaky, Orison. .&t'i. .iidf AJs- , JksaAaAtaaft