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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 31, 2017)
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2017 FEATURES Sons’s opinion upsets mom Dear Annie: Just the other forted me about the situation. day, my son, “Ben,” was talking All I could do was cry. I never to his stepdad, and he said some knew my kids felt that way about hurtful things about me — that their mom. Please give me some I’m all about me, that it’s always advice. — Devastated Mom my way or the highway. I took Dear Devastated Mom: that very personally. It made me Slow down and take a deep cry. I never expected my breath. This is a whirl- DEAR eldest son to say some- wind, but it seems that at thing or feel that way the center of it all is your ANNIE about me. I took it as him feeling of abandonment. trying to hurt my feel- I reckon that’s caused ings. He needs to under- you to lash out in ways you might not recognize stand that with the kids as lashing out — with all out of the house now, guilt trips, for instance. I do often feel that it is all If you’ve been trying about me. The house is Lane to get your kids to pay empty; my two elder kids Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. attention to you by mak- don’t even call me to see ing them feel bad, that whether I’m OK or sick, and I think that if I ever become has backfired. It’s time to stop sick, I will keep it to myself and catastrophizing and start com- not inform them. Am I wrong for municating. Talk to your chil- dren. Tell them you didn’t real- that? Now I don’t feel comfortable ize how negatively they felt even asking to see my grand- about your behavior. Ask what children, because I fear it’s been you could do to be a bigger part embedded in their minds that of their lives. And for everyone’s Grandma is all about her and no sake, please stop posting about it on Facebook. one else. Dear Annie: I know that some I posted about this situation on Facebook to see how every- people complain about “older” one would respond and what trick-or-treaters in their neigh- advice people might offer. A borhoods and that some people co-worker came to me and com- even refuse to hand out candy to kids who look older than 13. In my view, it’s a fine line between child and teen, and it’s a difficult adjustment for most. Teens still love some kids activ- ities, yet they want to appear grown-up. When we get older kids ringing our doorbell on Hal- loween, we always give them double the candy and tell them so. We also tell them that we’re proud of them for choosing to have fun. They are delighted with our response, and you can see the appreciation in their eyes. Lighten up, people! They have the rest of their lives to be adults. Let them hang on to some parts of their childhood a bit lon- ger. And let the parents do the parenting; it’s not our business. Our grown children let their own children know when it was time to quit trick-or-treating. It also doesn’t matter how much, if any, care was put into a costume. It’s rare when they’re not in costume, though. Teens are quite creative and enjoy our noticing a costume. We love the night. It’s fun! — Marie Dear Marie: I’m printing this just in time for Halloween. May we all embrace such a fun-loving spirit. 5A TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Notice who takes your feelings into consideration. Notice who has your back. Notice who shows up, who offers first, who laughs at your jokes. You deserve a supportive team. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). The fever of a retail crush, flirtation, love affair or seductive business deal is not a good state of mind for decision-making. The wanting makes you think irrationally. Cool down first. Come back to it tomorrow. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). If you’re hesitant about sharing things about yourself because you think it might be too boring or you might be opening yourself to judgment, it’s a sign that you could use some more relatable friends in your life. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Family will require more tending than usual. It’s a good thing, because they need you and you need to give, so all will feel better for it. Warmth is your specialty. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Of course, memory never tells the whole story. When looking back, people get fuzzy on the details of interacting with one another. What they tend to remember is how you made them feel. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It’s impossible to be permanently excited. Excitement is the top of an arc of energy. Without the low of boredom or normalcy, there would be no high of excitement. You’ll ride out an unevent- ful period. A higher energetic state is coming. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s a day of many tones and feelings. You’ll pass through numerous states of mind — twice as many as you usually would in the course of a day. It’s a kind of workout for your feelings. You’ll FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE gain strength and balance. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). A good story is a family heirloom. A good storyteller is the custodian of that treasure. Your heart and mind are open. You’ll understand where the story is in the seemingly everyday events of you and yours. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). There’s too much at stake to leave an interaction to chance. Decide before going in what impression and message you want to relay. Get clear about what’s in it for you and what you’re willing to give in return. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). As for those who monopolize the conversation, steamroll you when you’re trying to express yourself and don’t ask for your thoughts and ideas on the matter — well, it’s more than selfishness. It’s a warning sign. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You’re not in the most sensible mood, but there are some things that are better accomplished from an irrational state. If you’re applying yourself to the right endeavor, it will all work out perfectly. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Don’t get too disillusioned. When the beautiful picture starts to crack as falsities are revealed, think of it as another phase. Keep looking. Get in closer until it’s lovely again. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 1). Your birthday will turn on a light in a far-reaching corner of your mind. If you’ve been fulfilling someone else’s dreams instead of your own, that stops this year. In January, keep studying or trying until you get your break- through. Leo and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 17, 4, 21, 19 and 42.