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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 6, 2017)
6A FEATURES Traumatized over male nurse Dear Annie: I would like settings seems to be that a male your opinion on a very distress- nurse is entitled to tell me what he ing problem that I — along with can do with or to my body. Fortunately, I was given a a lot of other females, I’m sure — have. It concerns my desire to female nurse after I spoke with have control over who sees my a supervisor and convinced her body while in a nonemergency that I would leave the hospital and die before allowing this medical situation. DEAR strange man to take care I recently was con- of me. It’s not as if the fined to a hospital bed ANNIE majority of nurses aren’t for four days because of women and readily avail- a nonemergency situa- able anyway. Please help tion. While there, a male by putting out the word nurse tried to pressure me of how much damage into letting him conduct can be done to people very private and intrusive like me. — Tortured in exams and procedures on Lane New York me. He became almost Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. Dear Tortured: belligerent in trying to Health care provid- make me believe that he had “every right” to do what he ers should put each individual wanted simply because he was a patient’s needs front and center. When you made clear that you trained nurse. Annie, I was sexually abused were uncomfortable with this in the past and am traumatized nurse’s touching you, he should at the mere thought of a strange have stopped, even if he was just man — even if he is a nurse — trying to administer care. After touching me. Please don’t write all, it’s not “care” if it’s unwanted me off as just some kook who and distressing. Though hospi- doesn’t want to be hassled; it goes tals aren’t required to give female so much deeper than that, and nurses to female patients, many unless people have been through will try to accommodate such what I’ve been through, they requests, especially if the patient can’t understand. The philosophy has been a victim of abuse in the of a lot of hospitals and medical past. The next time you’re sched- uling a visit to the hospital or doc- tor’s office, let the staff know your needs upfront. Additionally, this might be a good time to revisit counseling to address the trauma of your abuse. If you need help finding a coun- selor, you can call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Ser- vices Administration’s National Helpline at 800-662-4357. Dear Annie: I suspect that most millennials do not even read newspapers, but here is my mes- sage for them. If you are planning a wed- ding, find someone to advise you on wedding protocols, including writing proper thank-you notes. Do not use the Internet to thank gift givers. Your generation seems to be focused on making wed- dings big affairs — yet often with- out the level of expertise or man- ners that should accompany such an event. Keep it small, gracious and welcoming for the folks giv- ing you their best wishes. — Dis- gusted in Florida Dear Disgusted: I agree that modest weddings are wonder- ful weddings. Social media have contributed to the “go big or go home” attitude many people seem to have toward wedding planning. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2017 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Once trust is bro- ken, it’s hard for a relationship to gain traction. Forward movement usually depends on mutual agreement. If you can’t trust the other person to uphold an agreement, mutuality doesn’t exist. certain person’s warmth, and you’d like to get more of it, if possible. Don’t even worry about ingratiating yourself to this person. Instead use the warmth to grow the seeds of greatness inside yourself. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ll need to educate someone, which is of course best done politely, quietly and one-on-one. Even if you do everything right, your subject may resist learning. Rest assured, you will have an impact; it just may be a delayed one. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). It seems silly to have to make a game out of giving of yourself just to keep your audience on the line. But people only value what they earn. You didn’t make the rules of human interaction, but ignore them at your own peril. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). It’s easy to respect someone you agree with, though it’s more im- portant to respect those you don’t agree with, because that’s the respect that’s going to bring the world together. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Experts at taking an interview know that it’s better to an- swer the question you wish you’d been asked than the one that’s actually asked. If your an- swer is good enough, most people won’t even remember what they were asking. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Building on your strengths isn’t egotistical, though people threatened by your potential greatness may try to make you feel as though it’s wrong to invest in your own improvement. Just ignore them. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s never too late to start over. The timing may seem awkward, inconvenient or a bit ridiculous, but that doesn’t make it impossible. Remembering this may help you feel freer in today’s circumstance. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). It’s easier when people agree with you, but it could be more helpful today when they don’t. Intelligent and interesting debate will lead to understanding and improvement. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Remember when you thought of the perfect thing to say after the situation was already over? Well, your wit is getting quicker and your timing is improving, as evidenced by today’s snappy response. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You appreciate a FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Know when to cut your losses. Now is probably a good time. Unless you’re thinking that yesterday would have been better: In that case, now is the only time! PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). When you state your preferences, wishes and directives, give a reason. People crave reasons. They don’t even care that much (or remember, half the time) what the reason is; they just relax when they know you have one. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 7). Your mix of boldness and good taste will net you amorous attention and new opportunities. Your need to use your talents and be creative will drive a change of work before this year is over. November shows a fast deal and windfall. At the start of 2017 you’ll invest in things that will further your education, skills and future. Leo and Pisces adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 8, 19, 3, 30 and 44.