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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 19, 2016)
6A FEATURES Dad’s inconsistent visits Dear Annie: My now-ex-hus- weekend. When I told him this, he band and I got married and had a said he just doesn’t have the time baby right after high school. We and can’t commit to every Saturday had a beautiful baby girl, “Sophia.” or even every other Saturday. I hate to see her so disappointed Caring for a newborn while all my friends were going off to college each Saturday when I have to tell her was challenging, but I would not that Daddy won’t make it today. His inconsistency is breaking trade the experience for the DEAR her heart. I have allowed world. Sophia is my light him to come and go as he and love. ANNIE pleases because I don’t The problem is with her want her to have zero rela- father. tionship with her father. Is He felt a great deal of this type of inconsistency resentment at having to OK for a child, or should care for a baby when he I just cut him off entirely? was only 19. He preferred — Confused Mom going out with the guys to Lane Dear Confused: This spending time at home with Annie Creators Syndicate Inc. man is giving you only Sophia and me. The tension crumbs while you and your and resentment built until one day, he left us, saying it was too daughter deserve the whole cake. much for him. He said he would be What he’s doing to Sophia — and going to community college to start to you — is terrible and selfish, and over. I was devastated. He didn’t no, this kind of inconsistency is not want any major responsibilities, so OK for a child. It’s time to sit him down for I was awarded sole custody. Now Sophia is 5 years old. As a long, serious heart-to-heart and hard as it is for me, I know that he lay it all out. Express your con- is her father, so I allow him to see cerns about the effect his unpredict- her when he has time. Last week, ability is having on your daughter. he picked her up to go to the mov- Ask him whether he could pledge ies. She came back with stars in to see Sophia for one Saturday a her eyes from getting to spend the month without any ifs, ands or buts. afternoon with Daddy. The problem That commitment should be small is that she wants to see him every enough even for his stunted sense of responsibility, and your daugh- ter would at least have one Saturday a month that she could safely look forward to. But also let him know upfront that if he were to stand her up even once, that would be it. Sophia’s lit- tle heart deserves to be treasured, not broken. Dear Annie: I have just read the letter from “Appalled,” who is dis- gusted by men wearing hats while indoors, along with your response. I strongly suggest that you educate yourselves. My husband is a Viet- nam veteran, and like many of those who served in Vietnam, he has pho- tophobia (severe light sensitivity), a condition that increases in severity with age. The jury is still out, after decades, as to whether this condi- tion is caused by exposure to Agent Orange; it is most definitely known to be a symptom of traumatic brain injury. He wears a baseball cap indoors at all times; the only other option is to keep his eyes closed. If your reader and you are so dis- gusted and appalled by his indoor hat, my suggestion is simple: Don’t look at him. — Donna Dear Donna: You’re on the mark. I hadn’t considered the medi- cal reasons for why someone might wear a hat indoors. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2016 TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). “Why?” is a question for rookies. You know better. You’re a pro. Pros don’t ask why; they just go in and fix it. You’ll spend most of the day in this mode: Go in. Fix it. Repeat. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re ready to know more. You’ll ask the good questions. “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing; drink deep or taste not the Castalian spring.” — Alexander Pope TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ve danced around it, they have, too, but the bottom line is that you need someone, and this person needs you. Realizing the situation and talking it out will be the best (and bravest) thing you both do. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). There is no need for friction. The world is big. There will be plenty of room for everyone to do what he or she needs to do. Spread out. Claim an independent space. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Much will center on the idea of time wasting. What’s a waste, and what isn’t? Your decision about this will shape your days and your character, too. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Some people just like being angry. Too bad for them, though, because your calm communication and diplomacy will allow you to work most problems out before anyone even has a chance to get too frustrated. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s said that you shouldn’t give a party if you’re the most inter- esting person there. Of course that is totally absurd. You’re such an interesting person that, if you followed that rule, you’d never have a party. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your best intentions, well, that counts for something even when intentions aren’t enough to get the outcome you were hoping for. However it works out for you today, it can still lead somewhere good. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll be putting your life to a good soundtrack, and that will make everything about it a little bit better. Choosing the songs that make you happy will be a very specific kind of process. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You won’t be able to totally please them, so you may as well totally please someone: How about you? It’s as fair as anyone else you could choose today. You can always try compro- mising again tomorrow. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your instinct will be to entertain. Sometimes it’s done by making things up — fanciful stories, exaggerated ideas — but none of that is necessary now. The small plain truth is the most engaging entertainment there is. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Experience has taught you what to do, and you could automatically slip into the next step. Hit the pause. This way will work, but another way will work better. Call on your higher powers of reason. TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 20). Your commitment to a goal will be steadfast, and by March you’ll have it in your hot hand. You and a love will be bonded in victory in Jan- uary. Relationships take a lot more work in February but it’s worth the effort. A big sale will happen May. Work takes a new trajectory with training you get over the summer. Aquarius and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 3, 44, 28, 32 and 11.
