6A
FEATURES
Dad’s inconsistent visits
Dear Annie: My now-ex-hus- weekend. When I told him this, he
band and I got married and had a said he just doesn’t have the time
baby right after high school. We and can’t commit to every Saturday
had a beautiful baby girl, “Sophia.” or even every other Saturday.
I hate to see her so disappointed
Caring for a newborn while all my
friends were going off to college each Saturday when I have to tell her
was challenging, but I would not that Daddy won’t make it today. His
inconsistency is breaking
trade the experience for the
DEAR
her heart. I have allowed
world. Sophia is my light
him to come and go as he
and love.
ANNIE
pleases because I don’t
The problem is with her
want her to have zero rela-
father.
tionship with her father. Is
He felt a great deal of
this type of inconsistency
resentment at having to
OK for a child, or should
care for a baby when he
I just cut him off entirely?
was only 19. He preferred
— Confused Mom
going out with the guys to
Lane
Dear Confused: This
spending time at home with Annie
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
man is giving you only
Sophia and me. The tension
crumbs while you and your
and resentment built until
one day, he left us, saying it was too daughter deserve the whole cake.
much for him. He said he would be What he’s doing to Sophia — and
going to community college to start to you — is terrible and selfish, and
over. I was devastated. He didn’t no, this kind of inconsistency is not
want any major responsibilities, so OK for a child.
It’s time to sit him down for
I was awarded sole custody.
Now Sophia is 5 years old. As a long, serious heart-to-heart and
hard as it is for me, I know that he lay it all out. Express your con-
is her father, so I allow him to see cerns about the effect his unpredict-
her when he has time. Last week, ability is having on your daughter.
he picked her up to go to the mov- Ask him whether he could pledge
ies. She came back with stars in to see Sophia for one Saturday a
her eyes from getting to spend the month without any ifs, ands or buts.
afternoon with Daddy. The problem That commitment should be small
is that she wants to see him every enough even for his stunted sense
of responsibility, and your daugh-
ter would at least have one Saturday
a month that she could safely look
forward to.
But also let him know upfront
that if he were to stand her up even
once, that would be it. Sophia’s lit-
tle heart deserves to be treasured,
not broken.
Dear Annie: I have just read the
letter from “Appalled,” who is dis-
gusted by men wearing hats while
indoors, along with your response.
I strongly suggest that you educate
yourselves. My husband is a Viet-
nam veteran, and like many of those
who served in Vietnam, he has pho-
tophobia (severe light sensitivity), a
condition that increases in severity
with age. The jury is still out, after
decades, as to whether this condi-
tion is caused by exposure to Agent
Orange; it is most definitely known
to be a symptom of traumatic brain
injury. He wears a baseball cap
indoors at all times; the only other
option is to keep his eyes closed.
If your reader and you are so dis-
gusted and appalled by his indoor
hat, my suggestion is simple: Don’t
look at him. — Donna
Dear Donna: You’re on the
mark. I hadn’t considered the medi-
cal reasons for why someone might
wear a hat indoors.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • MONDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2016
TOMORROW’S HOROSCOPE
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). “Why?” is a
question for rookies. You know better. You’re
a pro. Pros don’t ask why; they just go in
and fix it. You’ll spend most of the day in this
mode: Go in. Fix it. Repeat.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re ready to
know more. You’ll ask the good questions. “A
little knowledge is a dangerous thing; drink
deep or taste not the Castalian spring.” —
Alexander Pope
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You’ve danced
around it, they have, too, but the bottom line
is that you need someone, and this person
needs you. Realizing the situation and
talking it out will be the best (and bravest)
thing you both do.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). There is
no need for friction. The world is big. There
will be plenty of room for everyone to do
what he or she needs to do. Spread out.
Claim an independent space.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Much will center
on the idea of time wasting. What’s a waste,
and what isn’t? Your decision about this will
shape your days and your character, too.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Some people
just like being angry. Too bad for them,
though, because your calm communication
and diplomacy will allow you to work most
problems out before anyone even has a
chance to get too frustrated.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s said that you
shouldn’t give a party if you’re the most inter-
esting person there. Of course that is totally
absurd. You’re such an interesting person
that, if you followed that rule, you’d never
have a party.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your best
intentions, well, that counts for something
even when intentions aren’t enough to get
the outcome you were hoping for. However
it works out for you today, it can still lead
somewhere good.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You’ll be putting
your life to a good soundtrack, and that will
make everything about it a little bit better.
Choosing the songs that make you happy
will be a very specific kind of process.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You won’t
be able to totally please them, so you may
as well totally please someone: How about
you? It’s as fair as anyone else you could
choose today. You can always try compro-
mising again tomorrow.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your instinct
will be to entertain. Sometimes it’s done
by making things up — fanciful stories,
exaggerated ideas — but none of that is
necessary now. The small plain truth is the
most engaging entertainment there is.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Experience
has taught you what to do, and you could
automatically slip into the next step. Hit the
pause. This way will work, but another way
will work better. Call on your higher powers
of reason.
TOMORROW’S BIRTHDAY (Dec. 20). Your
commitment to a goal will be steadfast, and
by March you’ll have it in your hot hand. You
and a love will be bonded in victory in Jan-
uary. Relationships take a lot more work in
February but it’s worth the effort. A big sale
will happen May. Work takes a new trajectory
with training you get over the summer.
Aquarius and Libra adore you. Your lucky
numbers are: 3, 44, 28, 32 and 11.