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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 18, 2016)
FEATURES 6A Tomorrow’s horoscope Trying to make amends Dear Annie: My daughter and I have not spoken in over 12 years. I am now getting up in age (I am 82) and don’t know what to do to even say hello to her. She has told me over and over again that she does not love me or want anything to do with me. She is still my daughter, and I do still love her. My grandson got married last year, and I was not allowed to go to the wedding. My grandson and I keep in touch, but I don’t want him to get in the middle of all this, nor do I want my other two children to get involved. My two sons don’t really like their sister and do not see her that often or speak to her. My daughters- in-law have tried to be her friends, but she will not call them, either. We were never really that close, even though I have tried in the past to be there for her. She is a very strong- willed person and feels she doesn’t need anybody but her husband, her son and now her daughter-in-law in her life. This is a real shame. I don’t know how many more years God has for me, and I just want to let her know that I’ve always loved her. Friends have told me to move on and know that I have done every- thing one can do. All these years, I have been deeply depressed because Dear Annie By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate Inc. of this situation. What can I do? — Missing Her Dear Missing: I am a irm believer in trying to mend family relationships whenever you can. Your friends hate seeing you get hurt by your daughter, and there is wis- dom in their advice for you to move on. It certainly isn’t your responsi- bility to keep trying or your fault if she never wants to reconcile. She seems quick to burn bridges rather than repair them. But if you’re just in this to have some contact with your daughter, I think you should continue reach- ing out as much as you’d like. Just make sure you’re wearing the proper emotional armor when you do — i.e., have realistic expecta- tions and accept that she may never reciprocate. Dear Annie: This is in response to the letter from “Crushed in Cali- fornia.” Shame on you for giving her such bad advice. You should have told her to make a beeline to an attor- ney who specializes in family law. After 24 years of marriage, her husband has decided he wants a divorce and ordered her to move out, as if she were a mere tenant, with- out making any inancial arrange- ments. Most states apply more or less the same procedures and guide- lines. What typically happens in a long-term marriage is the husband is ordered to leave the home (although in rare cases, a judge allows both of them to live in the same house but sleep in different rooms) and pay his wife about 50 percent of his income (according to established legal guidelines) for the support of the children and her. The children are typically allowed to live with their mother in the family home, and the husband is given reasonable visita- tion rights. At a later time, the sup- port order is adjusted. The judge takes into account the earnings of the wife, outstanding inancial obli- gations, the needs of the children, etc. No court in the world would ever allow the scenario described by Crushed in California. — Attorney THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2016 By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). You’re sol- id. You know what’s right for your life and what’s not. You can and will keep the neg- ative forces at a distance, not with anger but with dignity. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Things are not black and white for you — or for any- one, really. That’s why this will be a day in which you will choose not to judge, and not to throw your attention away on neg- ativity. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Money might not be able to buy true love or devotion or anything that’s really important, but money can still solve a lot of problems. You’ll solve problems with your money today. CANCER (June 22-July 22). You will be offered what you wanted and deserved several months ago. You can afford to take time with your response. Also, don’t rush to grant acceptance — but do accept. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It’s wonderful when they really get you. It’s also not so bad when they don’t. There’s a lot of inner life that is sparked by the flint of that. Your mind starts spinning when it’s mad! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). All those mild perks — you need to appreciate them. Don’t compare. This is a time to home in on what’s good. Keep your pas- sion alive. Only you can set the limit to your potential. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You can crush up the tension in a room by just speaking. The words you use are not as important as how you use them. Your use of this talent will further your aims. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). The de- cision seems big. You could deliberate, FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE make your pros and cons list, call your mother, etc., but that would be pageant- ry. You already know what to do. You’ve known for a while now. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). This group you need to be a part of now — there’s a certain rhythm to it, and you’ll click right in, as long as you don’t hesitate or doubt yourself. “Strong and wrong”: Make that your creed. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Here’s how to get into this group: Listen; pay at- tention; figure out the needs and wants of all involved. You won’t have answers, and you don’t need to. Your eye contact alone is a healing balm. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The ef- fort to be known — that’s a theme today. You know who your friends are, and they’ll make sure you don’t forget about them. All that you have you’ll put into your perfor- mance tonight. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Network. Acquaintances on the social scene are prime sources of employment and love opportunities, if not for yourself then for a close friend. Make a point of chatting up everyone you know. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 19). Your dreams will bloom like a microwaved popcorn situation: Sit on the outside, lis- ten, and count. Your good fortune will be delicious, especially when several friends are involved. There’s a highlight in Decem- ber and another big income boom in Jan- uary. If you want to make more, you’ll have to learn more. Gemini and Virgo adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 3, 2, 22, 13 and 29.
