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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 21, 2016)
FEATURES THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2016 Dad needs to focus on kids Dear Annie: My husband is a sales- man and is constantly working, regard- less of time of day or whether we’re on vacation. He wears a Bluetooth earpiece, so I can never tell whether he is on the phone. And regardless of whether he’s on a phone call, he is always engaged in his email. If I ask him a question, he will usually answer but rarely look up and make eye contact. I worry this sets a bad precedent for our children. I wish he could discon- nect and focus on our family when he is home. I’ve read many studies that discuss the importance of engaging directly with children, and I fear that’s he not able to effectively connect. I also am skeptical he’s always working and think he may secretly be listening to music or podcasts, check- ing fantasy football results, etc. I understand that we all need a distrac- tion on occasion, but it is unaccept- able to do this around our kids. And I would appreciate it if he didn’t do this around me. When I ask him to limit his attach- ment to his phone and email around the kids, he tells me he has to work. Is there a better way for me to approach him? — Crackberry Wife Dear Crackberry: Let’s start with a silver lining: If your husband is able to spend time with the kids during work, that’s a big plus. Many salesmen travel Dear Annie By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate Inc. all week and rarely see their children. Ask your husband to spend 30 or 60 minutes with the children every day, during which he unplugs and connects. He may eat a meal with them, help with homework or play a sport or a board game. You’re correct that children do best with undivided attention, but it’s also great that they can learn from your husband’s work ethic. A lot of time with work and a little time with the kids will go a long way for everyone and still allow your husband to peek at his fantasy football results on occasion. Dear Annie: My sister “Clarabel” lives on the West Coast, and I live in the middle of the heartland about 10 min- utes from our mom. My mom and Clar- abel go back and forth between getting along and not speaking to each other. The problem is they try to use me as a messenger. When I visit my mom, she’ll go on and on about why she is angry with Clarabel. I tell my mom that I want to spend our time visit- ing and talking about other things and she needs to talk to Clarabel on her own, that I am not relaying the mes- sage. Despite my repeated attempts to change the subject, my mother contin- ues to rant. I cut my visits short. When Clarabel calls, she wants to know what Mom said about her. I tell Clarabel that she needs to call Mom and talk to her. I feel that if I shared what the other says, I’d be adding to the drama and being used. Clarabel gets upset with me and says I should tell her. Annie, am I wrong for wanting to stay out of their ights? — In the Middle Dear Middle: You are so smart to stay out of the middle of their ights, and they shouldn’t be trying to put you there in the irst place. Point out to your mom that because of her ranting and complaining about your sister, you are cutting your visits short. Say that in effect, she is distancing herself from both of her children. No one wants to be around someone who is complain- ing about another person, especially when it comes to loved ones. Point out to them that the constant ighting is tak- ing a toll on you and your whole fam- ily as a unit. If they keep up their kvetching, at least try to distance yourself emotion- ally from it so it doesn’t bring you down. FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE 5A Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Unsettled? Stay flexible. The fact that you don’t know what’s going to come up next is a good thing. This new path also has many desir- able options to please you. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Business cards, shopping lists, party plans, requests to friends, tokens, coupons, prayers — consider it all your research. This will piece together to form something beautiful, artis- tic and unique. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). People say that you can’t make someone love you. Privately you think, “Well maybe (SET ITAL) they (END ITAL) can’t, but I can.” And you may very well be right. You certainly have your secret charms today. CANCER (June 22-July 22). They don’t know you well, but they do know you a little. They have a one-dimensional ver- sion of you at best. Today the relationship will progress, allowing for more insight all around. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). They are lis- tening to you, but they really aren’t under- standing what you’re saying. The interpre- tations will vary wildly. This will amuse or annoy you accordingly. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You have no idea the value of your support. A kind word, a prop, a leg up — when you are able to give this at the perfect moment, it will mean more to your people than they’ll ever be able to articulate. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The small dif- ferences between you and a loved one will melt away. You have a more mature way of handling your relationship now, which, oddly enough, includes a lot of playfulness. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). So many people don’t have a clue about what they really want. You do know, and this is your moment. Stay focused. Visualize the smooth and swift attainment of your goal. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). So- cializing is a lot more fun when you bring your own crew with you. Your nearest and dearest make an excellent entourage, so bring them and increase your comfort zone. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). What has stopped you from meeting face to face? It’s still the best way, and it also takes a lot more guts. It’s time to put yourself in the mix again in real time. Don’t let those social skills die a digital death. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Some of your friendships have been more abiding and central to your life than even the most romantic of your ties. This is the perfect day to acknowledge that, either out loud or in your heart. Both ways will count. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). What you do to honor and maintain your friendships will not infringe upon your romantic life in the least. What you do for one friend will enhance every friendship you have. THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 22). This year you’ll do a lot of visualizing. You’ll see yourself getting and holding what you want. You’ll mentally walk yourself through the process. If you feel yourself trying too hard, back up and get grounded. You’re enough as you are right now. November and May represent financial highs. You’ll travel in June. Cancer and Taurus adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 40, 33, 28, 31 and 19.
