FEATURES
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2016
Dad needs to focus on kids
Dear Annie: My husband is a sales-
man and is constantly working, regard-
less of time of day or whether we’re
on vacation. He wears a Bluetooth
earpiece, so I can never tell whether
he is on the phone. And regardless
of whether he’s on a phone call, he is
always engaged in his email. If I ask
him a question, he will usually answer
but rarely look up and make eye contact.
I worry this sets a bad precedent for
our children. I wish he could discon-
nect and focus on our family when he
is home. I’ve read many studies that
discuss the importance of engaging
directly with children, and I fear that’s
he not able to effectively connect.
I also am skeptical he’s always
working and think he may secretly be
listening to music or podcasts, check-
ing fantasy football results, etc. I
understand that we all need a distrac-
tion on occasion, but it is unaccept-
able to do this around our kids. And I
would appreciate it if he didn’t do this
around me.
When I ask him to limit his attach-
ment to his phone and email around
the kids, he tells me he has to work. Is
there a better way for me to approach
him? — Crackberry Wife
Dear Crackberry: Let’s start with
a silver lining: If your husband is able to
spend time with the kids during work,
that’s a big plus. Many salesmen travel
Dear Annie
By
Annie
Lane
Creators
Syndicate Inc.
all week and rarely see their children.
Ask your husband to spend 30 or
60 minutes with the children every day,
during which he unplugs and connects.
He may eat a meal with them, help with
homework or play a sport or a board
game. You’re correct that children do
best with undivided attention, but it’s
also great that they can learn from your
husband’s work ethic. A lot of time
with work and a little time with the kids
will go a long way for everyone and
still allow your husband to peek at his
fantasy football results on occasion.
Dear Annie: My sister “Clarabel”
lives on the West Coast, and I live in the
middle of the heartland about 10 min-
utes from our mom. My mom and Clar-
abel go back and forth between getting
along and not speaking to each other.
The problem is they try to use me
as a messenger. When I visit my mom,
she’ll go on and on about why she is
angry with Clarabel. I tell my mom
that I want to spend our time visit-
ing and talking about other things and
she needs to talk to Clarabel on her
own, that I am not relaying the mes-
sage. Despite my repeated attempts to
change the subject, my mother contin-
ues to rant. I cut my visits short.
When Clarabel calls, she wants to
know what Mom said about her. I tell
Clarabel that she needs to call Mom
and talk to her. I feel that if I shared
what the other says, I’d be adding to the
drama and being used. Clarabel gets
upset with me and says I should tell her.
Annie, am I wrong for wanting to stay
out of their ights? — In the Middle
Dear Middle: You are so smart to
stay out of the middle of their ights,
and they shouldn’t be trying to put
you there in the irst place. Point out to
your mom that because of her ranting
and complaining about your sister, you
are cutting your visits short. Say that in
effect, she is distancing herself from
both of her children. No one wants to
be around someone who is complain-
ing about another person, especially
when it comes to loved ones. Point out
to them that the constant ighting is tak-
ing a toll on you and your whole fam-
ily as a unit.
If they keep up their kvetching, at
least try to distance yourself emotion-
ally from it so it doesn’t bring you down.
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
5A
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Unsettled?
Stay flexible. The fact that you don’t know
what’s going to come up next is a good
thing. This new path also has many desir-
able options to please you.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Business
cards, shopping lists, party plans, requests
to friends, tokens, coupons, prayers —
consider it all your research. This will piece
together to form something beautiful, artis-
tic and unique.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). People say
that you can’t make someone love you.
Privately you think, “Well maybe (SET
ITAL) they (END ITAL) can’t, but I can.” And
you may very well be right. You certainly
have your secret charms today.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). They don’t
know you well, but they do know you a
little. They have a one-dimensional ver-
sion of you at best. Today the relationship
will progress, allowing for more insight all
around.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). They are lis-
tening to you, but they really aren’t under-
standing what you’re saying. The interpre-
tations will vary wildly. This will amuse or
annoy you accordingly.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You have
no idea the value of your support. A kind
word, a prop, a leg up — when you are
able to give this at the perfect moment, it
will mean more to your people than they’ll
ever be able to articulate.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). The small dif-
ferences between you and a loved one will
melt away. You have a more mature way
of handling your relationship now, which,
oddly enough, includes a lot of playfulness.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). So many
people don’t have a clue about what they
really want. You do know, and this is your
moment. Stay focused. Visualize the
smooth and swift attainment of your goal.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). So-
cializing is a lot more fun when you bring
your own crew with you. Your nearest and
dearest make an excellent entourage, so
bring them and increase your comfort
zone.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). What
has stopped you from meeting face to
face? It’s still the best way, and it also takes
a lot more guts. It’s time to put yourself in
the mix again in real time. Don’t let those
social skills die a digital death.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Some of
your friendships have been more abiding
and central to your life than even the most
romantic of your ties. This is the perfect
day to acknowledge that, either out loud or
in your heart. Both ways will count.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). What you
do to honor and maintain your friendships
will not infringe upon your romantic life in
the least. What you do for one friend will
enhance every friendship you have.
THURSDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Sept. 22).
This year you’ll do a lot of visualizing. You’ll
see yourself getting and holding what you
want. You’ll mentally walk yourself through
the process. If you feel yourself trying too
hard, back up and get grounded. You’re
enough as you are right now. November
and May represent financial highs. You’ll
travel in June. Cancer and Taurus adore
you. Your lucky numbers are: 40, 33, 28,
31 and 19.