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About The daily Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1961-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 30, 2016)
FEATURES 8A Siblings argue about mom Dear Annie: I am the eldest of four children of our soon-to-be 88-year-old mother, who has been sent home to hospice care. She needs 24/7 care, and all four of us still work full time. A family meeting before her release produced a level of animosity and stress beyond imagination. I recommended a 90-day stay in a rehabilitation facility to get plans in order. The doctor stated that Mom no longer has the mental capacity to make her own decisions. A family vote was 3-1 in favor of taking Mom home. Of course, I voted for the facil- ity. It’s expensive, but money should not be a factor when it comes to her. All in favor of taking her home said that we could hire health care workers in addition to the hospice workers and that they themselves would ill in when needed. It’s become apparent to me that my siblings are primarily focused on saving their share of the inheritance. We’re pitching in about 20 hours of care a week. Mom needs more help. We have a wonderful caregiver who is being limited to 25 hours per week. She would gladly work 40 hours each week. We also need to hire week- end help, which is available. This is Mom’s money, not ours. We need to spend what it takes for quality care. Dear Annie By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate Inc. But my siblings want to use only Mom’s Social Security income to- ward her care. They are putting pres- sure on me to put in more hours I don’t want to become a workhorse to save their inheritance. I’m extremely disappointed in their actions. Annie, what advice do you have that might lessen the extreme stress and animosity of this situation? — Totally Disappointed in Indiana Dear Disappointed: When it comes to estate-related matters such as this, people often see sides of their loved ones they wish they hadn’t. Selishness is ugly. You’re absolutely right; it’s your mom’s money, and she’s still here. I’m sure she appreciates her golden child’s looking out for her. You may need to appeal to your siblings’ guilt to shake them out of their stinginess. Remind them how your mom took care of you all prac- tically her whole life. Now she’s depending on you. However tense things get, keep the lines of communication open. Perhaps you could sit down with an outside mediator to evaluate what your mom needs. Hang in there, and don’t neglect your own health. Dear Annie: I am an Adult Pro- tective Services investigator and disagree partially with your answer to “Defensive of Dad,” who wants his dad to stop giving money to a lady friend in her 50s. You stated that as long as his father is of sound mind, he has the right to make his own decisions. I would agree with that part of the answer. However, I do not think that your answer went far enough to protect his father. I, too, believe that this woman is bullying him. It is important that his children stay involved. I would further suggest that they call Adult Protective Services in their state to start an investigation into the mat- ter. In some states, they could make a report without the investigator’s revealing who the complainant was. Many children are afraid their involvement will continue to push the parent away, but children of elderly parents have an obligation to do all they can to protect them. THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, AUGUST 30, 2016 Tomorrow’s horoscope By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc. ARIES (March 21-April 19). Someone needs your agreement in order to move for- ward. The question is: Can you give it in good conscience? Politically it may help, but some- thing about this is setting off alarms for you, and you’d be wise to heed the warning. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You don’t have to be the best player on the scene to get in the game and have some fun. With your stellar at- titude and sincere respect for the game, you’ll do well. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Each environ- ment has its own language. There’s a benefit to using the same vernacular as those around you. This translates to dress, as well. Some de- gree of conformity is polite. Don’t worry; you’ll still be you. CANCER (June 22-July 22). By pursuing your wide array of influences and interests, you’ve enhanced your chances of striking up a fascinating conversation or connecting in some small but meaningful way with a strang- er. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There won’t be time to talk about what you’re going to do. Lead the way; do it. It will be obvious to you which actions will lead to health and prosperity and which are just superfluous nonsense, counter- productive or destructive. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Do not invest in the broad education of the “what” today, be- cause everything you need to know is in the details of “how.” The one who can give you specific help will open new opportunities for you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You revel in your Venus-ruled advantages but will also benefit from adopting some of Capricorn’s powerful at- tributes today — namely having to do with the FRANK AND ERNEST BLONDIE THATABABY SALLY FORTH PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN B.C. LOLA DILBERT SIX CHIX BIZARRO MUTTS NON SEQUITUR BABY BLUES WIZARD OF ID ZITS ROSE IS ROSE shrewd management of people and money. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Seeing clearly gives you the optimum advantage so you can quickly get where you want to go. Your cosmic gift of the day is excellent spiritual visibility that comes by way of a bright, nearly enlightened ally. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). That thoughtful gesture you received a time ago still sticks in your mind as one of the more special things that someone has ever done for you. You’ll get an idea today as to how to pay it for- ward. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). All couples are weird. People make each other happy for reasons often mystifying to everyone outside of the relationship. You’re in a position to either tolerate someone’s relationship or (futilely) ob- ject. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). True love is almost impossible to hide. Passion burns just like a mountain on fire: Don’t be surprised if people smell it and see it from miles and miles away. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). There will be a stall in the action. Sweet! This is your lucky break. It’s exactly the pause you needed to shift into a higher gear and take off rocket-style. Seize the day. WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 31). This year offers you more accurate and holistic ways to measure success, resulting in your exponentially escalating happiness. The next 10 weeks show you learning the intricacies of a new pursuit. You’ll sock money away in September and March. October is for trading promises. Adventure sets sail in June. Leo and Sagittarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 40, 3, 33 and 28.