FEATURES
8A
Siblings argue about mom
Dear Annie: I am the eldest
of four children of our soon-to-be
88-year-old mother, who has been
sent home to hospice care.
She needs 24/7 care, and all four
of us still work full time. A family
meeting before her release produced
a level of animosity and stress beyond
imagination. I recommended a 90-day
stay in a rehabilitation facility to get
plans in order.
The doctor stated that Mom no
longer has the mental capacity to
make her own decisions. A family
vote was 3-1 in favor of taking Mom
home. Of course, I voted for the facil-
ity. It’s expensive, but money should
not be a factor when it comes to her.
All in favor of taking her home
said that we could hire health care
workers in addition to the hospice
workers and that they themselves
would ill in when needed.
It’s become apparent to me that
my siblings are primarily focused on
saving their share of the inheritance.
We’re pitching in about 20 hours of
care a week. Mom needs more help.
We have a wonderful caregiver who
is being limited to 25 hours per week.
She would gladly work 40 hours each
week. We also need to hire week-
end help, which is available. This is
Mom’s money, not ours. We need to
spend what it takes for quality care.
Dear Annie
By
Annie
Lane
Creators
Syndicate
Inc.
But my siblings want to use only
Mom’s Social Security income to-
ward her care. They are putting pres-
sure on me to put in more hours I
don’t want to become a workhorse to
save their inheritance. I’m extremely
disappointed in their actions.
Annie, what advice do you have
that might lessen the extreme stress
and animosity of this situation? —
Totally Disappointed in Indiana
Dear Disappointed: When
it comes to estate-related matters
such as this, people often see sides
of their loved ones they wish they
hadn’t. Selishness is ugly.
You’re absolutely right; it’s your
mom’s money, and she’s still here.
I’m sure she appreciates her golden
child’s looking out for her.
You may need to appeal to your
siblings’ guilt to shake them out of
their stinginess. Remind them how
your mom took care of you all prac-
tically her whole life. Now she’s
depending on you.
However tense things get, keep
the lines of communication open.
Perhaps you could sit down with an
outside mediator to evaluate what
your mom needs. Hang in there,
and don’t neglect your own health.
Dear Annie: I am an Adult Pro-
tective Services investigator and
disagree partially with your answer
to “Defensive of Dad,” who wants
his dad to stop giving money to a
lady friend in her 50s. You stated
that as long as his father is of sound
mind, he has the right to make his
own decisions. I would agree with
that part of the answer. However, I
do not think that your answer went
far enough to protect his father.
I, too, believe that this woman
is bullying him. It is important that
his children stay involved. I would
further suggest that they call Adult
Protective Services in their state to
start an investigation into the mat-
ter. In some states, they could make
a report without the investigator’s
revealing who the complainant
was. Many children are afraid their
involvement will continue to push
the parent away, but children of
elderly parents have an obligation
to do all they can to protect them.
THE DAILY ASTORIAN • TUESDAY, AUGUST 30, 2016
Tomorrow’s horoscope
By Holiday Mathis, Creators Syndicate Inc.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Someone
needs your agreement in order to move for-
ward. The question is: Can you give it in good
conscience? Politically it may help, but some-
thing about this is setting off alarms for you,
and you’d be wise to heed the warning.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You don’t have
to be the best player on the scene to get in the
game and have some fun. With your stellar at-
titude and sincere respect for the game, you’ll
do well.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Each environ-
ment has its own language. There’s a benefit
to using the same vernacular as those around
you. This translates to dress, as well. Some de-
gree of conformity is polite. Don’t worry; you’ll
still be you.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). By pursuing
your wide array of influences and interests,
you’ve enhanced your chances of striking up
a fascinating conversation or connecting in
some small but meaningful way with a strang-
er.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). There won’t be time
to talk about what you’re going to do. Lead
the way; do it. It will be obvious to you which
actions will lead to health and prosperity and
which are just superfluous nonsense, counter-
productive or destructive.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Do not invest in
the broad education of the “what” today, be-
cause everything you need to know is in the
details of “how.” The one who can give you
specific help will open new opportunities for
you.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You revel in your
Venus-ruled advantages but will also benefit
from adopting some of Capricorn’s powerful at-
tributes today — namely having to do with the
FRANK AND ERNEST
BLONDIE
THATABABY
SALLY FORTH
PHOEBE AND HER UNICORN
B.C.
LOLA
DILBERT
SIX CHIX
BIZARRO
MUTTS
NON SEQUITUR
BABY BLUES
WIZARD OF ID
ZITS
ROSE IS ROSE
shrewd management of people and money.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Seeing clearly
gives you the optimum advantage so you can
quickly get where you want to go. Your cosmic
gift of the day is excellent spiritual visibility that
comes by way of a bright, nearly enlightened
ally.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). That
thoughtful gesture you received a time ago still
sticks in your mind as one of the more special
things that someone has ever done for you.
You’ll get an idea today as to how to pay it for-
ward.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). All couples
are weird. People make each other happy for
reasons often mystifying to everyone outside
of the relationship. You’re in a position to either
tolerate someone’s relationship or (futilely) ob-
ject.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). True love is
almost impossible to hide. Passion burns just
like a mountain on fire: Don’t be surprised if
people smell it and see it from miles and miles
away.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). There will be
a stall in the action. Sweet! This is your lucky
break. It’s exactly the pause you needed to
shift into a higher gear and take off rocket-style.
Seize the day.
WEDNESDAY’S BIRTHDAY (Aug. 31). This
year offers you more accurate and holistic
ways to measure success, resulting in your
exponentially escalating happiness. The next
10 weeks show you learning the intricacies
of a new pursuit. You’ll sock money away in
September and March. October is for trading
promises. Adventure sets sail in June. Leo and
Sagittarius adore you. Your lucky numbers are:
5, 40, 3, 33 and 28.