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5A THE DAILY ASTORIAN • WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 7, 2015 Absurd wonders of peninsula life highlighted by 911 summary By NATALIE ST. JOHN EO Media Group PACIFIC COUNTY, Wash. — In 2014, some Pacif- ic County callers didn’t let the absence of an actual emergen- cy stop them from asking po- bus in Nahcotta, an alleged- ly intoxicated woman “just peed” in a yard and then lied down for a rest. April 25 — In Seaview, a man allegedly threw a drink into a car whose passengers had asked him to move from the middle of the road. The same day, a man who was driving a mobility scoot- help them deal with minor in- conveniences, petty disputes, and silly or bizarre situations. It is possible that some of these situations turned out to be serious, and emergency managers say that when in doubt, it’s generally better to call 911. But if you know your situation is not an urgent mat- managers urge you to use the non-emergency dispatch line: 360-642-9397. Dispatch Reports are one of the most popular features in the Chinook Observer, even meriting a story in The New York Times years ago. This annual summary of the most eye-catching items isn’t meant to make light of situ- ations that callers may have found genuinely upsetting. That’s not illegal Some citizens asked police to deal with issues that, while perfectly legal, had offend- ed their sensibilities. These included a “suspicious” car with fogged-up windows, a stinking manhole, a man who and a neighbor who raked leaves at 2:30 in the morning. Jan. 6 — While investi- gating a report that an Ilwaco driver was stealing mail, a termined that the “thief” was actually a mail carrier work- Feb. 12 — A possibly in- toxicated Ocean Park wom- an told 911 dispatchers that there was a “murderer in her house.” Further questioning revealed that he was only kill- ing his liver — the woman explained that the man “drank all her beers” and wouldn’t leave. Feb. 20 — In Ocean Park, a man reported that once again, someone “was burning smut magazines,” which were according to a dispatcher’s re- port. In an effort to help with the investigation, the caller saved some of crispy calendar girls. May 22 — An Ocean Park caller complained that “for weeks now someone has been playing the same three musi- cal notes.” June 25 — A Long Beach caller said there is a band playing and “they aren’t that good.” Observer file photo Pacific County law officers see a little bit of everything, as revealed by an annual review of 911 dispatch reports. Aug. 4 — A caller com- plained that a shirtless Seaview pedestrian was “overweight and bald, acting strange.” Sept. 9 — A Long Beach a resident reported “terrorist activities,” saying that mu- sic blaring from the radios of passing vehicles had the pow- er to “vibrate him out of bed and pierce his inner being.” Animal problems Rural residents frequently reported escaped livestock, neighbors who neglected their horses, and aggressive dogs who bit their kids — or their chickens. Jan 30 — In Menlo, a “vi- cious Chihuahua” tried to bite the tires on the caller’s bicy- cle. Feb. 2 — A woman re- ported that someone stole two pythons from her Oysterville home. Feb. 21 — A Seaview call- er requested help freeing their wayward cat from the chim- ney where it had been stuck, possibly for two days. May 1 — A woman asked if police could help her deal her Ilwaco home, but later called them off, after her cat killed the bat. May 7 — After killing all the chickens, two dogs in Ocean Park reportedly got stuck inside the coop. May 21 — Nachotta resi- dents reported a dispute over a missing ferret. The ferret was later recovered. Aug. 22 — An Ocean park Navy considers more sonobuoys off coast PORTLAND (AP) — The U.S. Navy could number of sonobuoys it plans to deploy off the Pa- School. You kids get off my lawn! While people in the unin- corporated areas the county had problems with loud, badly behaved or neglected animals, people in Long Beach and Il- waco had the same types of complaints about kids. Dis- about rowdy teens, the par- ents who yelled at them, and the ever-present menace of skateboarding youths. March 13 — Four teen- agers at the Ilwaco Library were reportedly “trashing the place.” April 26 — A Smith Creek caller reported a “barn full of drunken teenagers.” May 11 — A young girl on a skateboard and riding down the middle of the road. No location given. July 25 — According to a Long Beach caller, a “herd of skateboarders” were “bother- ing” people. Aug. 7 — An 11-year-old- boy allegedly stole a skate- board with a “voluptuous” In- dian woman on it. The report did not specify whether the Indian woman was a passen- ger, or a decoration. Aug. 11 — An Ilwaco call- er complained that three kids were engaged in a “marsh- Police in Oregon draft policy for dealing with mentally ill PORTLAND (AP) — Port- land police have drafted a new policy for dealing with men- tally ill people that says some- surveillance devices are used in anti-submarine vironmental assessment for Northwest training and testing, the Navy in- creased the number of planned sonobuoys from 20 to 720. They would be in areas at least 12 miles offshore from Alaska, Washington, Oregon and Northern Cal- ifornia. The Navy acknowledg- es that deploying more of them is likely to harm en- dangered leatherneck tur- tles. It’s accepting public comments until Feb. 2. In addition to more buoys, the document also details additional “mari- time security operations” that weren’t reviewed in the earlier environmental assessment, possibly in- cluding escorts for subma- woman called 911 to ask if it was legal to shoot coyotes that were climbing onto her back porch. Nov. 27 — A sea lion reportedly showed up on the walk away if a confrontation could jeopardize a suspect or other people. The policy follows a settle- ment last summer between the city and the U.S. Justice Depart- had a pattern of excessive force against people who have, or seem to have, mental illness, The Oregonian reported Monday. The policy stresses the im- Peter Ellis via en.wikipedia The AN/SSQ-47B is an ‘active’ (pinger) or rang- er (range measuring) so- nar sonobuoy. rines, search-and-seizure exercises, and anti-piracy missions. characteristics of mental illness and requires them to avoid un- necessary violence and poten- tial civil liability. Portland’s move comes as other big-city police depart- ments change their policies on dealing with the mentally ill. The Milwaukee Police Department is stepping up training so that all police of- Various states of undress Stupid human tricks A handful of citizens re- ported bizarre situations that arose as a result of their own folly. These included a man who said that he lost his pick- up after jumping out of it during a “wreck,” and a wom- an who believed she had “ac- cidentally pulled her mother’s March 12 — A Grayland man said his car had been had “loaned it to a gal to get beer” and she hadn’t re- turned. March 17 — A Seaview resident accused a woman of fraud, saying that she had falsely claimed to be dead. April 13 — A woman in a jacket with “JESUS” written across the back suffered an apparent lapse of Christian behavior — a caller report- ed that she had been seen casing an Ocean Park home. The same day, a man who was hauling a small build- ing through Ocean Park got tangled in some low-hanging power lines and told dispatch- ers he planned to sue the pow- er company. April 27 — After a failed shoplifting attempt, a woman allegedly retreated to the re- stroom of an Ilwaco business and smeared feces on the wall. July 26 — A caller at an people were “trapped in a shed.” fully trained to deal with the mentally ill by 2018, the may- or announced in December, months after a Milwaukee phrenic man at a park. In deciding how to respond to a call involving a person suf- fering a mental health crisis, of- risk to themselves, the person who is the subject of the calls and others, the policy says. They’re also to evaluate if Other callers reported citi- thereof — seemed to signal trouble. These included calls about naked pedestrians, a mother who refused to wear anything but a blanket, and multiple reports of an agitated man in a long green cape. Dec. 30, 2013 — a caller at a Seaview business report- ed a woman who was “un- dressing” and cursing at other customers. Jan. 3 — a caller in Long Beach reported that a man who had been smoking meth was “running around” in his birthday suit. Sept. 4 — According to an Ocean Park caller, a long- haired man in checkered pa- jama pants “pulled a gun” on a family’s dog while riding a bike around their property. Sept. 22 — A “completely nude man was walking a dog” in Menlo. Grownups behaving badly Many people asked for aid when someone seemed out of control. During May, June and August, 911 callers report- ed three separate incidents involving machete-wielding men. In a separate incident, a disturbed man injured a neighbor while brandishing a sword. In other cases though, call- ers appeared to be using 911 as a sort of tattling-hotline. Feb. 3 — A caller said that shortly after getting off of the police involvement is necessary given that many people with mental illness or in crisis ar- en’t dangerous or may behave dangerously only under certain circumstances. “Non-engagement or disen- gagement are tactics that can be used if the member determines that contact or continued con- tact with the person will result in an undue safety risk to the person, the public and/or mem- bers,” the new policy reads. Of- at another person as he was passing by. May 23 — Around 2 a.m., two possibly intoxicated call- ers threatened each other. According to the dispatcher’s report, the caller said he had a squirt gun. Sept. 22 — A concerned citizen in Long Beach told dispatchers that a woman on a motorized shopping cart had a “baby in one arm and anoth- er small child strapped to her leg.” Oct. 6 — A caller reported that people in a big red truck were “tossing couches into the ocean.” Unsolved mysteries Finally, some callers re- ported suspicious incidents so bizarre that they couldn’t be explained — or ignored. They described weird noises, ob- jects that disappeared, only to reappear just as mysteriously, and visitors who tried to harm them in unusual ways — real or imagined. June 13 — An Ocean Park resident reported a suspicious situation involving a garage door that kept “mysteriously opening.” Date missing — A woman said she had heard something on her porch three different times. Each time she went to investigate, the front porch light was out. Every time she replaced the bulb, someone took it. Aug. 31 — A man said he had found a binder at a work site in Ocean Park that was cluding an ID card for a Rus- sian woman and a map with “Bone yard” circled on it. Dec. 19 — A Long Beach woman called 911 because her She believed someone had stolen her TV remote. A few minutes later, she called to let dispatchers knows that an ambulance — she found her remote. that decision in a report. Among the other options is delaying taking a person into custody if police can return at a safer time. Also under the new policy, “mental illness” in the police database will be purged 10 years after their last known law enforcement contact. 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