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WINK Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013 • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le (Charges may apply) STEVE Railroad Bull who pulled us off of a train on 7/15. Noticed your siz- able bulge. Want to go for a ride sometime? When: Friday, July 15, 2011. Where: On the Q-PWRV.. You: Man. Me: Man. ☎ #902162 DOWNTOWN PLEASANTRIES TRUE PISCES paleolithic goddess,true Pisces,foot in both worlds, smart,practical, esoteric, cre- ative, sensuous, funny, prefer good conversation & coffee, dreamer& doer, seeking man for good times, not commitment, work in progress. paleolithic- goddess, 62, #106418 SWEET SOUL SEEKING True Companion. 44yrs, bit chub- by thoughtful open minded sweetheart looking for a nice guy. Looking to love in a big way, share the highs/lows, laugh and learn about life together. smiles321, 44, ☎, #106352 WHERE’S THE SUN? Curious to see who is out there that I wouldn’t normally bump into. djncru, 25, #102795 BORED IN OREGON:] ‘Ello:] I moved here from Utah and can’t find a place to really chill. I’d like to meet some new friends and possibly find a rela- tionship:}. rainbowladybug, 18, g , #106227 Six pm, Thursday 7/14. Eugene City Brewery alley. You seemed to know me. You had shorter brown hair a blue and white dress. I was the big guy with glasses. When: Thursday, July 14, 2011. Where: downtown. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902161 VINTAGE SIMPLICITY I’m back in town for the sumer and I’m looking for a girl to spend some time with. I love biking, singing, climbing trees, and making a fool of myself. Capillarybeauty, 20, #106339 LET’S ENJOY LIFE I would describe myself as a woman with integrity. I’m looking for a woman who loves the out- doors, hates drama, loves to make love, and loves to laugh. Time2Live, 49, #101037 A CHARMING POLYGON SAGANAKI AND BLOWTORCH. SALTY SEXY SAILOR I love Bob Dylan and Nicki Minaj. I like to cook, dance and bike to Trader Joe’s. My dream is to live in a house with tons of flowers. patty, 20, ☎, g , #105932 nice guy next door at day. crazy raver by night thats down for anything. scotty411, 21, g , #106433 BLONDE AND INTELLIGENT I am a very open minded inquisi- tive generous ..adventurous thoughtful..i know what i want.. ..independent.....a spiritual eso- teric..with just enough sensual hedonist to make me interesting lets grab it. shinhei, 61, ☎, g , #106428 I’m a confident person who loves to be with other people. I try to be nice to the people around me. I like to do random things, and find a d ve n t u re s. kelandry4157, 19, g , #105724 I BELIEVE THAT’S MY CUPCAKE! I love going to the movies, going out for dinner and drinks. Going to baseball games. I enjoy paint- ing, reading a good book or just listening to some good music. VintageLakeHouse, 26, g , #106088 I’m an intelligent hillbilly. Born and raised in Kentucky. Love the outdoors, exploring, and my cup is always half full. Enjoy cooking for any occasion.I am open to new experiences. Fit48, 48, g , #106426 Born and Raised. I’m a Eugene Native,Single mother looking for someone to just hang out with and get to know on an intellec- tual level, not someone who just wants sex. Brat, 30, g , #106201 FUN IN EUGENE CRAZY SEXY COOL im easy goin fun lovin dude that love to have fun i have a beauti- ful 3 year old daughter that i have full custody of Yes im a single dad. jeffbrah, 24, g , #106436 I’m looking to meet with some- one to chat with over a few beers and talk absolute nonsense - nothing long-term at all - open to most everything but just com- panionship. peter42, 41, g , #106422 Free Will Astrology Every delicious kind of cake you could imagine was there: carrot cake, strawberry cheesecake, gooey butter cake, rich chocolate cake with four layers of cherries and whipped cream, birthday cakes that must have been baked in paradise. Sadly, there was a problem: You weren’t allowed to buy anything, even though you had enough money. A big sign on the wall said, simply, “Absolutely no cakes available for Aries.” What do you think my dream means? More importantly, what are you going to do about the situation? I suggest that in my next dream, you get a friend to buy a cake for you. Either that, or go to a different cake store. One way or another, the astrological omens say it’s high time for you get the cake you want. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Fill in the blanks, Taurus. Don’t let the blanks remain vacant and barren any longer. Don’t allow them to keep screaming at you with their accusatory silence. Just fi ll in the freaking blanks with whatever you’ve got to fi ll them with — with your best guesses, with borrowed mojo, with any miscellaneous material you have at hand. I realize you may be tempted to wait around for a supposedly more ideal moment. But I’m here to tell you that this is as ideal as it gets. So please express the hell out of yourself in the empty spaces, my dear; create yourself anew in the void — however improvi- sational or inexact it might feel. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Do you know how to resolve an unre- solvable paradox?” asked a Facebook friend named Pi. He answered his own question: “You fi gure out the ‘error’ in the initial premise or assumption.” And that’s my prescription for you this week, Gemini. Do not be tempted to bang your head against the wall so as to shake loose a non-existent answer to the wrong question. Instead, stop yourself in the middle of your angst and think: “What would be a more productive way to formulate the riddle I need to untangle?” CANCER (June 21-July 22): An innovative job-seeker named Travis Broyles put an ad on Craigslist in Atlanta. Among the tasks he said he would perform for money were the following: draw your face on a balloon; email you a list of 250 things he likes about you; build you a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive it; change his political leanings; rename your Pokemon; or provide you with star treatment for a month, hiding in the bushes like a paparazzi and taking candid photos of you. I recommend that you come up with your own version of a list like this, Cancerian. It will help stimulate your imagination about what gifts you have to offer the world, which is exactly what the astrological omens are suggesting. (July 23-Aug. 22): As I ponder your immediate future, I’m reminded of a scene from the animated TV show The Simpsons. Here’s the situation: While visiting the home of a colleague, the superin- 34 JULY 21, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY ARTISTIC, BLONDE, GAMER I’m very shy, but open up easily once I know you. I’m sweet and caring, fairly picky about who I date but I’m very open-minded as well. BoolahBee, 19, g , #106292 Im a metalhead nerd who is look- ing a for girl to hang with,who likes metal and going to metal shows with me so we can head- bang and mosh. Deth21, 20, #106217 LAUGHING AND LISTENING i like watching the simpsons and playing guitar. wayler_zero, 27, g , #106421 GRUNGE MUFFIN. 6’2, Blond, blue eyes, Germanic, Irish, British and Spanish decent, taking the term off to find work (Hahaha!... it’ll be a while). Moved out, made friends, living the life. g , NotCobain, 21, #106398 NEED A FRIEND Fighting the mid-life crisis n los- ing the battle,don’t plan on going down easy or alone,need a part- ner in crime to get me into trou- ble or get me out of trouble. fishguy, 54, #105589 My girls are engaged! I’m so proud of you and I love you and you’re awesome and...yeah, yeah with the mushy Mama crap right? Hey world, MY GIRLS ARE ENGAGED! When: Monday, July 11, 2011. Where: North Jetty. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902160 JEFFY ON WINK YOU are adorable! and perhaps equally as witty/ intriguing? i’d love to chat and find out for sure. When: Monday, July 18, 2011. Where: WINK. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902166 REBEL SUSHI Me in black jeep, I didn’t see you on your bike. You were pretty pissed. My sincerest apologies. I will pay more attention. No harm was intended. Forgive me. Peace. When: Friday, July 15, 2011. Where: W Broadway and Van Buren. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902165 CUB LOOKING COUGAR I am trying to find a cowgirl to ride into the night. Im a man on a mission trying to put my key in the ignition. When: Sunday, July 17, 2011. Where: eugene weekly. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902164 BROOKLYN!!! I miss you! Can I come home? syd When: Friday, July 1, 2011. Where: Glenwood trailer park. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902158 SCHMERICA Rain leads to rainbows, so keep your chin up. Some of us think you’re pretty neat. When: Monday, July 11, 2011. Where: under the sky. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902157 ANGRY TOASTER When I saw your face, it hit me in the face. I know its wrong but I cant help but fantasizing over you and your drawings of angry toasters. When: Friday, July 8, 2011. Where: Sam Bonds. You: Man. Me: Man. #902156 Love Your Pet? TELL THEM IN A PERSONAL AD BURNING MAN BABE june... water fountain at the country fair lets share a beer and talk more if you are open to it..i liked your dress and your eyes..who knows T When: Saturday, July 9, 2011. Where: country fair. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902163 EW’s Annual Pets Issue JULY 28,2011 email your pets personal by July 25th jennifer@eugeneweekly.com or call 541-484-0519 BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): I dreamed you were in a cake store. LEO BiF; BBW; I like to sing, I like v. games, RPG, Nature, strange humor & reading I.S.O. Karaoker- lunchmate-rpger; someone less- than normal, a good sense of humour. Someone to have 420-adventures with! Leelamb, 20, ☎, g , #103840 METAL,ANIME,COMICS, NERDY,GUITAR INTELLIGNET HILLBILLY QUIRKY HIGH ENERGY AMANDA AND PAIGE SARCASTIC BUBBLY KARA- OKE-MASTER But since the sky opened up and dropped grey bombs on us, why not grab some sullen and deep joy. Yes. seltzer_fiend, 36, g , #106434 THIRD TIMES CHARMING? Hey Travis, Trav......TRA-VIS! Do you see me now? Huh? How ‘bout this time? Whats a girl gotta do to flirt around here? Jeesh! Beep beep beeeeeeep When: Thursday, July 14, 2011. Where: with your nose in a book. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902159 tendent of schools is surprised to witness an anomalous outbreak of spectacular light. “Aurora Borealis?” he exclaims. “At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized en- tirely within your kitchen?” “Yes,” replies the colleague. I suspect that you will soon enjoy a metaphorically comparable visitation, Leo. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My astrological colleague Antero Alli praises the value of anxiety. He says that when you feel that unsettling emotion, it’s because you’re experiencing more uncertainty than you like to — and that can be a good thing. It could mean you’re about to experience the fertility that comes from wading into the unknown. An outbreak of novelty may be imminent, giving you the chance to wel- come interesting surprises into your life. In fact, says Alli, the anxiety that comes from unpredictable mysteries may herald the arrival of an infl ux of creativity. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The I Ching counsels that if we are associating with others who are not our true peers,” says astrologer Caroline Casey, “our real allies cannot fi nd us.” Please apply this test to yourself, Libra. If, after taking inventory, you fi nd that your circle is largely composed of cohorts and comrades who match your levels of vitality and intelligence, that will be excellent news; it will signal an opportunity to begin working on an upgraded version of your social life that will increase your access to synergy and symbiosis even further. But if your survey reveals that you’re hanging out too much with people whose energy doesn’t match yours, it will be time for a metamorphosis. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There’s a lot of graffi ti scrawled in a variety of languages on St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City. A fairly re- cent arrival is a plea, in English, to resuscitate a defunct American TV sitcom. “God, Bring back Arrested Development,” the guerrilla prayer reads. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Scorpio, now would be a good time for you to be equally cheeky in promoting one of your pet causes. Consider the possibility of taking your case to a higher authority. To fi ght for what’s right, you may have to make your mark in a place whose sphere of infl uence is bigger than yours. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A Facebook friend posted a quote by seminal psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud: “Being entirely honest with oneself is a worthwhile exercise.” In response, another Facebooker named Dean Robinson disagreed: “Oh, I say let yourself have a little denial, and touch base with reality on a need-to-know basis.” Another respondent named Paulie Cerra took that sentiment one step further: “Reality and I have an understanding. I don’t mess with it and it doesn’t mess with me.” Which of those three approaches are you in- clined to pursue, Capricorn? In light of the current astrological omens, I suggest you try the fi rst one for at least the next two weeks. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You really need to tell your stories. It’s not just a good idea; it’s downright urgent. There’s a backlog of unexpressed narratives clogging up your depths. It’s like you have be- come too big of a secret to the world. The unvented pressure is build- ing up, threatening to implode. So please fi nd a graceful way to share the narratives that are smoldering inside you — with the emphasis on the word “graceful.” I don’t want your tales to suddenly erupt like a volcano all over everything at the wrong time and place. You need a receptive audience and the proper setting. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Piscean actor Javier Bardem said this to Parade magazine: “I don’t know if I’ll get to heaven. I’m a bad boy. Heaven must be nice, but is it too boring? Maybe you can get an apartment there and then go to hell for the weekends.” I caution all you other Pisceans against pursuing this line of thought in the coming weeks. You may imagine that you can get away with sneaking away to hell for just a couple of days a week, but I don’t share that optimism. My advice is to rack your brains to drum up as much adventure as pos- sible in safety zones and sanctuaries where you know for sure you’ll stay healthy and sane. HOMEWORK: Don’t get back to where you once belonged. Go forward to where you’ve got to belong in the future. Testify at Freewil- lastrology.com. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you stare for hours every day into little screens like those on smart phones, computer monitors, and TVs? If so, I recommend that you tear your gaze away from them more than usual in the coming week. A change in your brain chemistry needs to happen, and one good way to accomplish it will be to feast your eyes on vast panoramas and expansive natural scenes. Doing so will invigorate your thinking about the design and contours of your own destiny, and that would be in sweet alignment with the astrologi- cal omens. So catch regular views of the big picture, Sagittarius. Treat clouds and birds and stars as if they were restorative messages from the wide-open future. Gaze lovingly at the big sky. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
