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STEVE
Railroad Bull who pulled us off of
a train on 7/15. Noticed your siz-
able bulge. Want to go for a ride
sometime? When: Friday,
July 15, 2011. Where: On
the Q-PWRV.. You: Man.
Me: Man. ☎ #902162
DOWNTOWN PLEASANTRIES
TRUE PISCES
paleolithic
goddess,true
Pisces,foot in both worlds,
smart,practical, esoteric, cre-
ative, sensuous, funny, prefer
good conversation & coffee,
dreamer& doer, seeking man for
good times, not commitment,
work in progress. paleolithic-
goddess, 62, #106418
SWEET SOUL SEEKING
True Companion. 44yrs, bit chub-
by thoughtful open minded
sweetheart looking for a nice
guy. Looking to love in a big
way, share the highs/lows, laugh
and learn about life together.
smiles321,
44,
☎,
#106352
WHERE’S THE SUN?
Curious to see who is out there
that I wouldn’t normally bump
into. djncru, 25, #102795
BORED IN OREGON:]
‘Ello:] I moved here from Utah
and can’t find a place to really
chill. I’d like to meet some new
friends and possibly find a rela-
tionship:}. rainbowladybug,
18, g , #106227
Six pm, Thursday 7/14. Eugene
City Brewery alley. You seemed
to know me. You had shorter
brown hair a blue and white
dress. I was the big guy with
glasses. When: Thursday,
July 14, 2011. Where:
downtown. You: Woman.
Me: Man. #902161
VINTAGE SIMPLICITY
I’m back in town for the sumer
and I’m looking for a girl to
spend some time with. I love
biking, singing, climbing trees,
and making a fool of myself.
Capillarybeauty,
20,
#106339
LET’S ENJOY LIFE
I would describe myself as a
woman with integrity. I’m looking
for a woman who loves the out-
doors, hates drama, loves to
make love, and loves to laugh.
Time2Live, 49, #101037
A CHARMING POLYGON
SAGANAKI AND BLOWTORCH.
SALTY SEXY SAILOR
I love Bob Dylan and Nicki Minaj.
I like to cook, dance and bike to
Trader Joe’s. My dream is to live
in a house with tons of flowers.
patty, 20, ☎, g , #105932
nice guy next door at day. crazy
raver by night thats down for
anything. scotty411, 21, g ,
#106433
BLONDE AND INTELLIGENT
I am a very open minded inquisi-
tive generous ..adventurous
thoughtful..i know what i want..
..independent.....a spiritual eso-
teric..with just enough sensual
hedonist to make me interesting
lets grab it. shinhei, 61, ☎,
g , #106428
I’m a confident person who loves
to be with other people. I try to
be nice to the people around me.
I like to do random things, and
find
a d ve n t u re s.
kelandry4157, 19, g ,
#105724
I BELIEVE
THAT’S MY CUPCAKE!
I love going to the movies, going
out for dinner and drinks. Going
to baseball games. I enjoy paint-
ing, reading a good book or just
listening to some good music.
VintageLakeHouse, 26,
g , #106088
I’m an intelligent hillbilly. Born
and raised in Kentucky. Love the
outdoors, exploring, and my cup
is always half full. Enjoy cooking
for any occasion.I am open to
new experiences. Fit48, 48,
g , #106426
Born and Raised. I’m a Eugene
Native,Single mother looking for
someone to just hang out with
and get to know on an intellec-
tual level, not someone who just
wants sex. Brat, 30, g ,
#106201
FUN IN EUGENE
CRAZY SEXY COOL
im easy goin fun lovin dude that
love to have fun i have a beauti-
ful 3 year old daughter that i
have full custody of Yes im a
single dad. jeffbrah, 24, g ,
#106436
I’m looking to meet with some-
one to chat with over a few beers
and talk absolute nonsense -
nothing long-term at all - open
to most everything but just com-
panionship. peter42, 41, g ,
#106422
Free Will Astrology
Every delicious kind of cake you could imagine was there: carrot cake,
strawberry cheesecake, gooey butter cake, rich chocolate cake with
four layers of cherries and whipped cream, birthday cakes that must
have been baked in paradise. Sadly, there was a problem: You weren’t
allowed to buy anything, even though you had enough money. A big
sign on the wall said, simply, “Absolutely no cakes available for Aries.”
What do you think my dream means? More importantly, what are you
going to do about the situation? I suggest that in my next dream, you
get a friend to buy a cake for you. Either that, or go to a different cake
store. One way or another, the astrological omens say it’s high time for
you get the cake you want.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Fill in the blanks, Taurus. Don’t let
the blanks remain vacant and barren any longer. Don’t allow them to
keep screaming at you with their accusatory silence. Just fi ll in the
freaking blanks with whatever you’ve got to fi ll them with — with your
best guesses, with borrowed mojo, with any miscellaneous material
you have at hand. I realize you may be tempted to wait around for a
supposedly more ideal moment. But I’m here to tell you that this is as
ideal as it gets. So please express the hell out of yourself in the empty
spaces, my dear; create yourself anew in the void — however improvi-
sational or inexact it might feel.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Do you know how to resolve an unre-
solvable paradox?” asked a Facebook friend named Pi. He answered
his own question: “You fi gure out the ‘error’ in the initial premise or
assumption.” And that’s my prescription for you this week, Gemini.
Do not be tempted to bang your head against the wall so as to shake
loose a non-existent answer to the wrong question. Instead, stop
yourself in the middle of your angst and think: “What would be a more
productive way to formulate the riddle I need to untangle?”
CANCER (June 21-July 22): An innovative job-seeker named Travis
Broyles put an ad on Craigslist in Atlanta. Among the tasks he said
he would perform for money were the following: draw your face on
a balloon; email you a list of 250 things he likes about you; build you
a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive it;
change his political leanings; rename your Pokemon; or provide you
with star treatment for a month, hiding in the bushes like a paparazzi
and taking candid photos of you. I recommend that you come up with
your own version of a list like this, Cancerian. It will help stimulate
your imagination about what gifts you have to offer the world, which
is exactly what the astrological omens are suggesting.
(July 23-Aug. 22): As I ponder your immediate future, I’m
reminded of a scene from the animated TV show The Simpsons. Here’s
the situation: While visiting the home of a colleague, the superin-
34 JULY 21, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY
ARTISTIC, BLONDE, GAMER
I’m very shy, but open up easily
once I know you. I’m sweet and
caring, fairly picky about who I
date but I’m very open-minded
as well. BoolahBee, 19, g ,
#106292
Im a metalhead nerd who is look-
ing a for girl to hang with,who
likes metal and going to metal
shows with me so we can head-
bang and mosh. Deth21, 20,
#106217
LAUGHING AND LISTENING
i like watching the simpsons and
playing guitar. wayler_zero,
27, g , #106421
GRUNGE MUFFIN.
6’2, Blond, blue eyes, Germanic,
Irish, British and Spanish decent,
taking the term off to find work
(Hahaha!... it’ll be a while). Moved
out, made friends, living the life.
g ,
NotCobain,
21,
#106398
NEED A FRIEND
Fighting the mid-life crisis n los-
ing the battle,don’t plan on going
down easy or alone,need a part-
ner in crime to get me into trou-
ble or get me out of trouble.
fishguy, 54, #105589
My girls are engaged! I’m so
proud of you and I love you and
you’re awesome and...yeah, yeah
with the mushy Mama crap
right? Hey world, MY GIRLS ARE
ENGAGED! When: Monday,
July 11, 2011. Where:
North
Jetty.
You:
Woman. Me: Woman.
#902160
JEFFY ON WINK
YOU are adorable! and perhaps
equally as witty/ intriguing? i’d
love to chat and find out for sure.
When: Monday, July 18,
2011. Where: WINK. You:
Man.
Me:
Woman.
#902166
REBEL SUSHI
Me in black jeep, I didn’t see you
on your bike. You were pretty
pissed. My sincerest apologies. I
will pay more attention. No harm
was intended. Forgive me. Peace.
When: Friday, July 15,
2011.
Where:
W
Broadway and Van
Buren. You: Man. Me:
Woman. #902165
CUB LOOKING COUGAR
I am trying to find a cowgirl to
ride into the night. Im a man on
a mission trying to put my key in
the ignition. When: Sunday,
July 17, 2011. Where:
eugene weekly. You:
Woman.
Me:
Man.
#902164
BROOKLYN!!!
I miss you! Can I come home? syd
When: Friday, July 1,
2011. Where: Glenwood
trailer
park.
You:
Woman. Me: Woman.
#902158
SCHMERICA
Rain leads to rainbows, so keep
your chin up. Some of us think
you’re pretty neat. When:
Monday, July 11, 2011.
Where: under the sky.
You: Woman. Me: Man.
#902157
ANGRY TOASTER
When I saw your face, it hit me in
the face. I know its wrong but I
cant help but fantasizing over
you and your drawings of angry
toasters. When: Friday,
July 8, 2011. Where:
Sam Bonds. You: Man.
Me: Man. #902156
Love
Your Pet?
TELL THEM IN A PERSONAL AD
BURNING MAN BABE
june... water fountain at the
country fair lets share a beer
and talk more if you are open to
it..i liked your dress and your
eyes..who knows T When:
Saturday, July 9, 2011.
Where: country fair. You:
Woman.
Me:
Man.
#902163
EW’s Annual Pets Issue
JULY 28,2011
email your pets personal by July 25th
jennifer@eugeneweekly.com or call 541-484-0519
BY ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I dreamed you were in a cake store.
LEO
BiF; BBW; I like to sing, I like v.
games, RPG, Nature, strange
humor & reading I.S.O. Karaoker-
lunchmate-rpger; someone less-
than normal, a good sense of
humour. Someone to have
420-adventures
with!
Leelamb, 20, ☎, g ,
#103840
METAL,ANIME,COMICS,
NERDY,GUITAR
INTELLIGNET HILLBILLY
QUIRKY HIGH ENERGY
AMANDA AND PAIGE
SARCASTIC BUBBLY KARA-
OKE-MASTER
But since the sky opened up and
dropped grey bombs on us, why
not grab some sullen and deep
joy. Yes. seltzer_fiend, 36,
g , #106434
THIRD TIMES CHARMING?
Hey Travis, Trav......TRA-VIS! Do
you see me now? Huh? How
‘bout this time? Whats a girl
gotta do to flirt around here?
Jeesh! Beep beep beeeeeeep
When: Thursday, July
14, 2011. Where: with
your nose in a book. You:
Man.
Me:
Woman.
#902159
tendent of schools is surprised to witness an anomalous outbreak
of spectacular light. “Aurora Borealis?” he exclaims. “At this time of
year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized en-
tirely within your kitchen?” “Yes,” replies the colleague. I suspect that
you will soon enjoy a metaphorically comparable visitation, Leo.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My astrological colleague Antero Alli
praises the value of anxiety. He says that when you feel that unsettling
emotion, it’s because you’re experiencing more uncertainty than you
like to — and that can be a good thing. It could mean you’re about to
experience the fertility that comes from wading into the unknown. An
outbreak of novelty may be imminent, giving you the chance to wel-
come interesting surprises into your life. In fact, says Alli, the anxiety
that comes from unpredictable mysteries may herald the arrival of an
infl ux of creativity.
LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The I Ching counsels that if we are
associating with others who are not our true peers,” says astrologer
Caroline Casey, “our real allies cannot fi nd us.” Please apply this test
to yourself, Libra. If, after taking inventory, you fi nd that your circle
is largely composed of cohorts and comrades who match your levels
of vitality and intelligence, that will be excellent news; it will signal an
opportunity to begin working on an upgraded version of your social
life that will increase your access to synergy and symbiosis even
further. But if your survey reveals that you’re hanging out too much
with people whose energy doesn’t match yours, it will be time for a
metamorphosis.
SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There’s a lot of graffi ti scrawled in
a variety of languages on St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City. A fairly re-
cent arrival is a plea, in English, to resuscitate a defunct American TV
sitcom. “God, Bring back Arrested Development,” the guerrilla prayer
reads. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Scorpio,
now would be a good time for you to be equally cheeky in promoting
one of your pet causes. Consider the possibility of taking your case
to a higher authority. To fi ght for what’s right, you may have to make
your mark in a place whose sphere of infl uence is bigger than yours.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A Facebook friend posted a quote
by seminal psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud: “Being entirely honest with
oneself is a worthwhile exercise.” In response, another Facebooker
named Dean Robinson disagreed: “Oh, I say let yourself have a little
denial, and touch base with reality on a need-to-know basis.” Another
respondent named Paulie Cerra took that sentiment one step further:
“Reality and I have an understanding. I don’t mess with it and it
doesn’t mess with me.” Which of those three approaches are you in-
clined to pursue, Capricorn? In light of the current astrological omens,
I suggest you try the fi rst one for at least the next two weeks.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You really need to tell your stories.
It’s not just a good idea; it’s downright urgent. There’s a backlog of
unexpressed narratives clogging up your depths. It’s like you have be-
come too big of a secret to the world. The unvented pressure is build-
ing up, threatening to implode. So please fi nd a graceful way to share
the narratives that are smoldering inside you — with the emphasis on
the word “graceful.” I don’t want your tales to suddenly erupt like a
volcano all over everything at the wrong time and place. You need a
receptive audience and the proper setting.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Piscean actor Javier Bardem said
this to Parade magazine: “I don’t know if I’ll get to heaven. I’m a bad
boy. Heaven must be nice, but is it too boring? Maybe you can get an
apartment there and then go to hell for the weekends.” I caution all
you other Pisceans against pursuing this line of thought in the coming
weeks. You may imagine that you can get away with sneaking away to
hell for just a couple of days a week, but I don’t share that optimism.
My advice is to rack your brains to drum up as much adventure as pos-
sible in safety zones and sanctuaries where you know for sure you’ll
stay healthy and sane.
HOMEWORK: Don’t get back to where you once belonged. Go
forward to where you’ve got to belong in the future. Testify at Freewil-
lastrology.com.
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you stare for hours every
day into little screens like those on smart phones, computer monitors,
and TVs? If so, I recommend that you tear your gaze away from them
more than usual in the coming week. A change in your brain chemistry
needs to happen, and one good way to accomplish it will be to feast
your eyes on vast panoramas and expansive natural scenes. Doing so
will invigorate your thinking about the design and contours of your
own destiny, and that would be in sweet alignment with the astrologi-
cal omens. So catch regular views of the big picture, Sagittarius. Treat
clouds and birds and stars as if they were restorative messages from
the wide-open future. Gaze lovingly at the big sky.
Go to RealAstrology.com
to check out Rob Brezsny's
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