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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (June 23, 2011)
WINK Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013 • Browse local postings • Post your own profi le Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site (Charges may apply) O.O 0.0 ^_^ Mainly looking for guys 21 to 30 to hang out with here in Corvallis/nearby, specifically gay males. Nice and laid-back? Drop me a line. Into old movies a plus. ragemanchoo, 29, ☎,g, #101557 WHERE’S THE SUN? Curious to see who is out there that I wouldn’t normally bump into. djncru, 25, #102795 SEEKING BIG FISH I seek a man like me: active, fit, intellectual, accomplished, a stimulating conversationalist, sensual, playful, musical, kind, open-hearted and generous. In the right light I’m a knockout. You be beau? belleoftheball, 52,g, #106283 BORED IN OREGON:] ‘Ello:] I moved here from Utah and can’t find a place to really chill. I’d like to meet some new friends and possibly find a rela- tionship:}. rainbowladybug, 18,g, #106227 QUIRKY HIGH ENERGY Born and Raised. I’m a Eugene Native,Single mother looking for someone to just hang out with and get to know on an intellec- tual level, not someone who just wants sex. Brat, 30,g, #106201 WORLD TRAVELER Sweet and honest person look- ing for the right, honest compan- ion and friend to share life’s experiences and pleasures. I love books, garage sales, NPR, the Ducks, football, track and traveling. loulou, 62, #101279 VINTAGE SIMPLICITY FRIENDLY FRIENDLY MARKET I’m back in town for the sumer and I’m looking for a girl to spend some time with. I love biking, singing, climbing trees, and making a fool of myself. Capillarybeauty, 20,g, #106339 LOVELIFE. Looking for some fun in Eugene for the summer. Love hiking, scuba diving, and having an afternoon drink with friends. Loyal, passionate, and quirky. Lexingtonbear, 23,g, #103446 SOMETHING INTERESTING Married woman looking for a woman. captainbolo, 35, #106213 MUSICFINATIC Moved here 4rm da east coast. I LOVE GURLS. Basically I do wat I want wateva dat is lol. Im new 2 da area & ready have fun!! magic2701, 20,g , #106093 TRIPPY-CONVERSATIONS, THREESOMES SOUTHERNBELLE TREEHUG- GER HOPELESSROMANTIC justmoved here fromTN.im laid back.downtoearth lovemusic.art. goodbeer.goodbud.lookin to make new friends.meet new people.lovemusic!lovefestivals n shows.i am my own person.tat- toos.piercings.people whocan keep up with me.witty.outspo- ken.lil wild.like to party.if u wan- naknow morejust lemmeknow. southern_charmer89, 22,g, #106033 A CHARMING POLYGON I love Bob Dylan and Nicki Minaj. I like to cook, dance and bike to Trader Joe’s. My dream is to live in a house with tons of flowers. patty, 20, ☎,g, #105932 We’re a solid, fun-loving, healthy, fit, drama- and STD-free, poly couple, looking for a female friend with benefits. Emphasis on friend. She’s 20, he’s 26. 420 and nerd friendly! two_sexy, 20,g, #106083 HORSES, GARDENS, SUNRISES Country lady looking for her male counterpart- I have 2 hors- es and love to ride, need a part- ner! Would prefer someone with his own horse, please be single! goddess2, 60,g , #106091 MUSIC, OUTDOORS, FUN Play in a band and have a job. Making music with friends is what I love to do. I also love camping, a good movie, coffee, cooking and good people. musicman815, 26,g, #106332 THAT’S MY CUPCAKE! I love going to the movies, going out for dinner and drinks. Going to baseball games. I enjoy paint- ing, reading a good book or just listening to some good music. VintageLakeHouse , 26,g, #106088 SEEKING NICE LADY. I am looking for a nice lady around 48-55 to share my life & my home with, in a live-together type relationship, with marriage optional. BBW & OMMP friendly. Blonde1959, 52, #106313 LAIDBACK HUMOROUS CHAP Want meet some new people. Open to do just about anything. Looking for folk that don’t mind a kid, like to laugh, have a beer and kick back. Why not? stop- s4pennies, 33,g , #106232 SNOWBOARDING RAGER/ EX-YUMMER! I like the outdoors. I’m a blazer. I like music. I’m distracted easily. I like to travel. I like to organize. I love food. I like to Rage. BusBoy186, 20,g , #105839 HELLO IM HOT GLENN BECK SUCKS Im a 30 yr old man who works and goes to school fulltime. i just need to meet up with new people and start dating again, any que- tions just ask. danacorp81, 29, #106312 Kind caring and loving good guy. Looking for that special some- one. I always like to have fun especially with friends and fami- ly. DaveRN69, 42,g, #106304 TRAVELER BACK HOME Looking for a lady to spoil while I’m summering in the Willamette Valley. jnettle11, 71,g, #106166 HELLO Hi I preffer you ask me. Jaydeb, 22, #106246 VA POUR G‚TEAU? Music history student at LCC. I like cooking, hanging out, and drinking coffee. I have no prefer- ence to kinks, as I am willing to try most things. Tehfuzzycrab, 23,g, #106199 Quirky gay boy, scientific mind, well kept and hygienic. Enjoys cuddling under the stars, good music, and Dan Savage’s column. Nonsmoker, 18, tall, open minded, passionate. viriproviri, 18,g, #105543 CONTRADICTIONS ARE FUN. I’m a budding academic who is really disinterested in the pro- fession. I’m also an astrologer. And agnostic. And funny. And sour. And sharp. And soft. Confused? It’s simple, really. thethinker, 21, #105442 SARCASTIC BUBBLY KARA- OKE-MASTER BiF; BBW; I like to sing, I like v. games, RPG, Nature, strange humor & reading I.S.O. Karaoker- lunchmate-rpger; someone less- than normal, a good sense of humour. Someone to have 420-adventures with! Leelamb, 20, ☎,g, #103840 ARTISTIC, BLONDE, GAMER I’m very shy, but open up easily once I know you. I’m sweet and caring, fairly picky about who I date but I’m very open-minded as well. BoolahBee, 19,g, #106292 CURIOUS SOCIAL OREGONIAN For living in Eugene, its been hard to find open-minded peo- ple. I would like to fill my life with a wealth of well-rounded per- sons who like having a good time. bexasaur, 18, #106284 FRIENDS + MUSIC seeking band-mates who are in love with sound and are not very grouchy, to make fun songs, interesting songs, lovely songs, and songs that have to do with weather. and_jellyfish, 27,g, #105559 VOODOO MAGIC CAVE. I see you almost every morning the pink glow illuminates my heart, I can smell your sweet- ness from blocks away. The magic is in the hole. When: Saturday, December 17, 2011. Where: With Doughnuts. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902128 MELINDA@HOT MAMA’S WINGS Haven’t seen you in years. Saw you at open mic on Monday. Will never be able to forget that win- ning smile! Find me at Good Times any given Friday night. When: Monday, June 13, 2011. Where: Hot mama’s wings open mic. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902127 DECKER THE WRECKER There once was an artist/design- er who couldn’t be radder or finer. She brought us a Daisy, is nice when we’re crazy, and her ice cream is fucking sublimer. When: Every Working Day. Where: Down there to the old office. You: Woman. Us: In awe. BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Golden orb spiders of Madagascar spin robust webs. Their silk is stronger than steel yet able to bend and ex- pand when struck by insects. Here’s an equally amazing facet of their work: Each morning they eat what remains of yesterday’s web and spend an hour or so weaving a fresh one. I’m thinking that your task in the coming weeks has some similarities to the orb spider’s, Aries: creating rugged but fl exible structures to gather what you need, and being ready to continually shed what has outlived its usefulness so as to build what your changing circumstances require. (Thanks to the California Academy of Sciences for the info on orb spiders.) TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The year is almost half over, Taurus. Shall we sum up the fi rst part of 2011 and speculate about the ad- ventures that may lie ahead of you in the next six months? The way I see it, you’ve been going through a boisterous process of purifi cation since last January. Some of it has rattled your soul’s bones, while some of it has freed you from your mind-forged manacles. In a few short months, you have overseen more climaxes and shed more emo- tional baggage than you had in the past three years combined. Now you’re all clean and clear and fresh, and ready for a less exhausting, more cheerful kind of fun. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Advertisements are often designed to make you feel inadequate about the life you’re actually living so you will be motivated to “improve” your lot by buying what they’re selling. In this short horoscope, I don’t have room to express how much soul sickness this wreaks upon us all. Recently HBO unleashed an especial- ly nefarious attack. Promoting its new streaming service, it informed us that “The story you could be watching is better than the one you’re in.” Fortunately, Gemini, you won’t be tempted to swallow that vicious propaganda anytime in the coming weeks. Your personal story will be profoundly more interesting and meaningful than the narratives that HBO or any other entertainment source might offer. CANCER (June 21-July 22): A company that manufactures processed food made a promotional offer: If you purchased 10 of its products, it would give you 500 frequent fl yer miles. An American man named David Philips took maximum advantage. He bought 12,150 pudding cups for $3,000, earning himself more than a million frequent fl yer miles — enough to fl y to Europe and back 31 times. This is the kind of legal trick you’re now in a good position to pull off, Cancerian. So brainstorm freely, please: How could you play the system, outwit the matrix, rage against the machine, or subvert the Man? No need to break any laws; the best gambit will be an ethical one. (July 23-Aug. 22): While watching fast-talking politicians talk on TV, my Polish grand-uncle would sometimes mutter, Zlotem pisal, a gownem zapieczetowal. I only learned what those words meant when 34 JUNE 23, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE Newly single Shy guy, looking for the right one, gonna take my time deciding. SinglySHY, 31,g, #106236 OUT TO PLAY? Free Will Astrology LEO LOW KEY I’m an east coast transplant, liv- ing in the moment. I get enjoy- ment from mildly deep conversa- tion, with intermittent sarcasm. Hiking, camping, kayaking, bicy- cling, and goofing off keep me busy. GraceBeatsKarma, 26, #106316 you turned to me with a bright smile. eyes met. brief conversa- tion about bananas, prosecco + picnics. i should have invited you. sunset, wildflowers, alpine meadow. would love to meet. When: Friday, June 17, 2011. Where: friendly street market. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902129 I turned 18 and he decided I was old enough to know the translation: “written in gold and sealed with crap.” One of your interesting as- signments in the coming weeks, Leo, will be to identify anything that fi ts that description in your own life. Once you’ve done that, you can get started on the next task, which should be rather fun: Expose the discrepancy, and clean up the mess. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Years ago I did a book tour that brought me to Eugene, Ore., where my sister and her husband and their daugh- ter live. They came to my reading at Tsunami, a Eugene bookstore. My Virgo niece Jasper was 7 years old at the time. I was surprised and delighted when she heckled me several times during my talk, always with funny and good-natured comments that added to the convivial- ity of the moment and entertained everyone in attendance. Who said Virgos are well-behaved to a fault? Your assignment this week is to be inspired by my niece: With wit and compassion, disrupt the orderly fl ow of any events that could use some smart agitation. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on,” wrote author Samuel Butler. Ain’t that the truth! You may be practicing as diligently as you can, gradually trying to master your complex instrument, but in the meantime your lack of expertise is plainly visible to anyone who’s paying close attention. Luckily, not too many people pay really close attention, which gives you a signifi cant amount of slack. Now and then, too, you have growth spurts — phases when your skills suddenly leap to a higher octave. The coming weeks should be one of these times for you, Libra. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In August and September, millions of seabirds known as Sooty Shearwaters leave their homes in New Zea- land and travel thousands of miles to the Gulf of the Farallones, just off the coast of San Francisco. Why do they do it? The feeding is fi rst- class; the tasty fi sh and squid they like are available in abundance. I suggest you consider a Sooty Shearwater-type quest in the coming weeks, Scorpio. The very best samples of the goodies you crave are located at a distance, either in a literal or metaphorical sense. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A few years ago, Eve Ensler took her famous play The Vagina Monologues to Pakistan. She and a group of local Muslim actresses wowed a crowd in Islamabad with dis- courses on vibrators, menstruation, and “triple orgasms.” I invite and encourage you to try something equally brave in the coming weeks, Capricorn. Give your spiel to a new audience; take your shtick to a wild frontier; show who you really are to important people who don’t know the truth yet. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When my “macho feminist” memoir The Televisionary Oracle was published in 2000, I suffered from comical delusions about its chances for mainstream acceptance. For example, I tried to get a review in The New York Times. As I know now, that had as much likelihood of happening as me traveling to the moon in a rainbow canoe carried by magical fl ying mermaids. But in lieu of that kind of recognition, others arrived. One of my favorites: My book went along for the ride with a group of goddess-worshipers on a spiritual tour to the ancient matriarchal city of Catal Huyuk in Turkey. They read my writing aloud to each other, amused and entertained. I suspect you will soon have a similar experience, Aquarius: having to “settle for” a soulful acknowledgment that’s different from what your ego thought it wanted. Take it from me: That’s actually better. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My favorite plant food for my African violets is a natural fertilizer called Big Bloom. One of its key ingredi- ents — the stuff that makes it so effective — is bat guano. I’d like to suggest that you’re about due to embark on the Big Blooming phase of your own cycle, Pisces. And it’s more likely to reach its deserved pinnacle of fertility if you’re willing to summon just a hint of bat-shit craziness from the depths of your subconscious mind. But remember: just a dollop, not a giant heap. HOMEWORK: To check out my expanded audio forecast of your destiny for the second half of 2011, go to http://bit.ly/LookForward SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I really thought I’d understand sex better by now. After all these years of doing it and studying it and thinking about it and talking about it, I still can’t regard myself as a master of the subject. The kundalini’s uncanny behavior continues to surprise me, perplex me, and thrill me with ever-new revelations. Just when I imagine I’ve fi gured out how it all works, I’m delivered to some fresh mystery. How about you, Sagittarius? Judging by the current astrological omens, I’m guessing you’re due for a round of novel rev- elations about the nature of eros. As long as you keep an open mind, open heart, and open libido, it should all be pretty interesting. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM
