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Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site
(Charges may apply)
O.O 0.0 ^_^
Mainly looking for guys 21 to 30
to hang out with here in
Corvallis/nearby, specifically gay
males. Nice and laid-back? Drop
me a line. Into old movies a plus.
ragemanchoo, 29, ☎,g,
#101557
WHERE’S THE SUN?
Curious to see who is out there
that I wouldn’t normally bump
into. djncru, 25, #102795
SEEKING BIG FISH
I seek a man like me: active, fit,
intellectual, accomplished, a
stimulating conversationalist,
sensual, playful, musical, kind,
open-hearted and generous. In
the right light I’m a knockout.
You be beau? belleoftheball,
52,g, #106283
BORED IN OREGON:]
‘Ello:] I moved here from Utah
and can’t find a place to really
chill. I’d like to meet some new
friends and possibly find a rela-
tionship:}. rainbowladybug,
18,g, #106227
QUIRKY HIGH ENERGY
Born and Raised. I’m a Eugene
Native,Single mother looking for
someone to just hang out with
and get to know on an intellec-
tual level, not someone who just
wants sex. Brat, 30,g,
#106201
WORLD TRAVELER
Sweet and honest person look-
ing for the right, honest compan-
ion and friend to share life’s
experiences and pleasures. I
love books, garage sales, NPR,
the Ducks, football, track and
traveling.
loulou,
62,
#101279
VINTAGE SIMPLICITY
FRIENDLY FRIENDLY MARKET
I’m back in town for the sumer
and I’m looking for a girl to
spend some time with. I love
biking, singing, climbing trees,
and making a fool of myself.
Capillarybeauty, 20,g,
#106339
LOVELIFE.
Looking for some fun in Eugene
for the summer. Love hiking,
scuba diving, and having an
afternoon drink with friends.
Loyal, passionate, and quirky.
Lexingtonbear, 23,g,
#103446
SOMETHING INTERESTING
Married woman looking for a
woman. captainbolo, 35,
#106213
MUSICFINATIC
Moved here 4rm da east coast. I
LOVE GURLS. Basically I do wat I
want wateva dat is lol. Im new 2
da area & ready have fun!!
magic2701,
20,g ,
#106093
TRIPPY-CONVERSATIONS,
THREESOMES
SOUTHERNBELLE TREEHUG-
GER HOPELESSROMANTIC
justmoved here fromTN.im laid
back.downtoearth lovemusic.art.
goodbeer.goodbud.lookin to
make new friends.meet new
people.lovemusic!lovefestivals n
shows.i am my own person.tat-
toos.piercings.people whocan
keep up with me.witty.outspo-
ken.lil wild.like to party.if u wan-
naknow morejust lemmeknow.
southern_charmer89,
22,g, #106033
A CHARMING POLYGON
I love Bob Dylan and Nicki Minaj.
I like to cook, dance and bike to
Trader Joe’s. My dream is to live
in a house with tons of flowers.
patty, 20, ☎,g, #105932
We’re a solid, fun-loving, healthy,
fit, drama- and STD-free, poly
couple, looking for a female
friend with benefits. Emphasis
on friend. She’s 20, he’s 26. 420
and nerd friendly! two_sexy,
20,g, #106083
HORSES, GARDENS,
SUNRISES
Country lady looking for her
male counterpart- I have 2 hors-
es and love to ride, need a part-
ner! Would prefer someone with
his own horse, please be single!
goddess2,
60,g ,
#106091
MUSIC, OUTDOORS, FUN
Play in a band and have a job.
Making music with friends is
what I love to do. I also love
camping, a good movie, coffee,
cooking and good people.
musicman815, 26,g,
#106332
THAT’S MY CUPCAKE!
I love going to the movies, going
out for dinner and drinks. Going
to baseball games. I enjoy paint-
ing, reading a good book or just
listening to some good music.
VintageLakeHouse ,
26,g, #106088
SEEKING NICE LADY.
I am looking for a nice lady
around 48-55 to share my life &
my home with, in a live-together
type relationship, with marriage
optional. BBW & OMMP friendly.
Blonde1959, 52, #106313
LAIDBACK HUMOROUS CHAP
Want meet some new people.
Open to do just about anything.
Looking for folk that don’t mind
a kid, like to laugh, have a beer
and kick back. Why not? stop-
s4pennies,
33,g ,
#106232
SNOWBOARDING RAGER/
EX-YUMMER!
I like the outdoors. I’m a blazer. I
like music. I’m distracted easily. I
like to travel. I like to organize. I
love food. I like to Rage.
BusBoy186,
20,g ,
#105839
HELLO IM HOT
GLENN BECK SUCKS
Im a 30 yr old man who works
and goes to school fulltime. i just
need to meet up with new people
and start dating again, any que-
tions just ask. danacorp81,
29, #106312
Kind caring and loving good guy.
Looking for that special some-
one. I always like to have fun
especially with friends and fami-
ly. DaveRN69, 42,g,
#106304
TRAVELER BACK HOME
Looking for a lady to spoil while
I’m summering in the Willamette
Valley. jnettle11, 71,g,
#106166
HELLO
Hi I preffer you ask me.
Jaydeb, 22, #106246
VA POUR G‚TEAU?
Music history student at LCC. I
like cooking, hanging out, and
drinking coffee. I have no prefer-
ence to kinks, as I am willing to
try
most
things.
Tehfuzzycrab, 23,g,
#106199
Quirky gay boy, scientific mind,
well kept and hygienic. Enjoys
cuddling under the stars, good
music, and Dan Savage’s column.
Nonsmoker, 18, tall, open minded,
passionate.
viriproviri,
18,g, #105543
CONTRADICTIONS ARE FUN.
I’m a budding academic who is
really disinterested in the pro-
fession. I’m also an astrologer.
And agnostic. And funny. And
sour. And sharp. And soft.
Confused? It’s simple, really.
thethinker, 21, #105442
SARCASTIC BUBBLY KARA-
OKE-MASTER
BiF; BBW; I like to sing, I like v.
games, RPG, Nature, strange
humor & reading I.S.O. Karaoker-
lunchmate-rpger; someone less-
than normal, a good sense of
humour. Someone to have
420-adventures
with!
Leelamb, 20, ☎,g,
#103840
ARTISTIC, BLONDE, GAMER
I’m very shy, but open up easily
once I know you. I’m sweet and
caring, fairly picky about who I
date but I’m very open-minded
as well. BoolahBee, 19,g,
#106292
CURIOUS SOCIAL OREGONIAN
For living in Eugene, its been
hard to find open-minded peo-
ple. I would like to fill my life with
a wealth of well-rounded per-
sons who like having a good
time.
bexasaur,
18,
#106284
FRIENDS + MUSIC
seeking band-mates who are in
love with sound and are not very
grouchy, to make fun songs,
interesting songs, lovely songs,
and songs that have to do with
weather. and_jellyfish,
27,g, #105559
VOODOO MAGIC CAVE.
I see you almost every morning
the pink glow illuminates my
heart, I can smell your sweet-
ness from blocks away. The
magic is in the hole. When:
Saturday, December 17,
2011.
Where:
With
Doughnuts. You: Woman.
Me: Man. #902128
MELINDA@HOT MAMA’S
WINGS
Haven’t seen you in years. Saw
you at open mic on Monday. Will
never be able to forget that win-
ning smile! Find me at Good
Times any given Friday night.
When: Monday, June 13,
2011.
Where:
Hot
mama’s wings open mic.
You:
Woman.
Me:
Woman. #902127
DECKER THE WRECKER
There once was an artist/design-
er who couldn’t be radder or
finer. She brought us a Daisy, is
nice when we’re crazy, and her
ice cream is fucking sublimer.
When: Every Working
Day. Where: Down there
to the old office. You:
Woman. Us: In awe.
BY ROB BREZSNY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Golden orb spiders of Madagascar spin
robust webs. Their silk is stronger than steel yet able to bend and ex-
pand when struck by insects. Here’s an equally amazing facet of their
work: Each morning they eat what remains of yesterday’s web and
spend an hour or so weaving a fresh one. I’m thinking that your task
in the coming weeks has some similarities to the orb spider’s, Aries:
creating rugged but fl exible structures to gather what you need, and
being ready to continually shed what has outlived its usefulness so
as to build what your changing circumstances require. (Thanks to the
California Academy of Sciences for the info on orb spiders.)
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The year is almost half over, Taurus.
Shall we sum up the fi rst part of 2011 and speculate about the ad-
ventures that may lie ahead of you in the next six months? The way I
see it, you’ve been going through a boisterous process of purifi cation
since last January. Some of it has rattled your soul’s bones, while
some of it has freed you from your mind-forged manacles. In a few
short months, you have overseen more climaxes and shed more emo-
tional baggage than you had in the past three years combined. Now
you’re all clean and clear and fresh, and ready for a less exhausting,
more cheerful kind of fun.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Advertisements are often designed to
make you feel inadequate about the life you’re actually living so you
will be motivated to “improve” your lot by buying what they’re selling.
In this short horoscope, I don’t have room to express how much soul
sickness this wreaks upon us all. Recently HBO unleashed an especial-
ly nefarious attack. Promoting its new streaming service, it informed
us that “The story you could be watching is better than the one you’re
in.” Fortunately, Gemini, you won’t be tempted to swallow that vicious
propaganda anytime in the coming weeks. Your personal story will be
profoundly more interesting and meaningful than the narratives that
HBO or any other entertainment source might offer.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): A company that manufactures
processed food made a promotional offer: If you purchased 10 of its
products, it would give you 500 frequent fl yer miles. An American
man named David Philips took maximum advantage. He bought 12,150
pudding cups for $3,000, earning himself more than a million frequent
fl yer miles — enough to fl y to Europe and back 31 times. This is the
kind of legal trick you’re now in a good position to pull off, Cancerian.
So brainstorm freely, please: How could you play the system, outwit
the matrix, rage against the machine, or subvert the Man? No need to
break any laws; the best gambit will be an ethical one.
(July 23-Aug. 22): While watching fast-talking politicians talk on
TV, my Polish grand-uncle would sometimes mutter, Zlotem pisal, a
gownem zapieczetowal. I only learned what those words meant when
34 JUNE 23, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY
SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE
Newly single Shy guy, looking for
the right one, gonna take my
time deciding. SinglySHY,
31,g, #106236
OUT TO PLAY?
Free Will Astrology
LEO
LOW KEY
I’m an east coast transplant, liv-
ing in the moment. I get enjoy-
ment from mildly deep conversa-
tion, with intermittent sarcasm.
Hiking, camping, kayaking, bicy-
cling, and goofing off keep me
busy. GraceBeatsKarma,
26, #106316
you turned to me with a bright
smile. eyes met. brief conversa-
tion about bananas, prosecco +
picnics. i should have invited
you. sunset, wildflowers, alpine
meadow. would love to meet.
When: Friday, June 17,
2011. Where: friendly
street market. You: Man.
Me: Woman. #902129
I turned 18 and he decided I was old enough to know the translation:
“written in gold and sealed with crap.” One of your interesting as-
signments in the coming weeks, Leo, will be to identify anything that
fi ts that description in your own life. Once you’ve done that, you can
get started on the next task, which should be rather fun: Expose the
discrepancy, and clean up the mess.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Years ago I did a book tour that brought
me to Eugene, Ore., where my sister and her husband and their daugh-
ter live. They came to my reading at Tsunami, a Eugene bookstore. My
Virgo niece Jasper was 7 years old at the time. I was surprised and
delighted when she heckled me several times during my talk, always
with funny and good-natured comments that added to the convivial-
ity of the moment and entertained everyone in attendance. Who said
Virgos are well-behaved to a fault? Your assignment this week is to
be inspired by my niece: With wit and compassion, disrupt the orderly
fl ow of any events that could use some smart agitation.
LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Life is like playing a violin in public
and learning the instrument as one goes on,” wrote author Samuel
Butler. Ain’t that the truth! You may be practicing as diligently as you
can, gradually trying to master your complex instrument, but in the
meantime your lack of expertise is plainly visible to anyone who’s
paying close attention. Luckily, not too many people pay really close
attention, which gives you a signifi cant amount of slack. Now and
then, too, you have growth spurts — phases when your skills suddenly
leap to a higher octave. The coming weeks should be one of these
times for you, Libra.
SCORPIO
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In August and September, millions of
seabirds known as Sooty Shearwaters leave their homes in New Zea-
land and travel thousands of miles to the Gulf of the Farallones, just
off the coast of San Francisco. Why do they do it? The feeding is fi rst-
class; the tasty fi sh and squid they like are available in abundance. I
suggest you consider a Sooty Shearwater-type quest in the coming
weeks, Scorpio. The very best samples of the goodies you crave are
located at a distance, either in a literal or metaphorical sense.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A few years ago, Eve Ensler
took her famous play The Vagina Monologues to Pakistan. She and a
group of local Muslim actresses wowed a crowd in Islamabad with dis-
courses on vibrators, menstruation, and “triple orgasms.” I invite and
encourage you to try something equally brave in the coming weeks,
Capricorn. Give your spiel to a new audience; take your shtick to a wild
frontier; show who you really are to important people who don’t know
the truth yet.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When my “macho feminist” memoir
The Televisionary Oracle was published in 2000, I suffered from
comical delusions about its chances for mainstream acceptance. For
example, I tried to get a review in The New York Times. As I know now,
that had as much likelihood of happening as me traveling to the moon
in a rainbow canoe carried by magical fl ying mermaids. But in lieu
of that kind of recognition, others arrived. One of my favorites: My
book went along for the ride with a group of goddess-worshipers on a
spiritual tour to the ancient matriarchal city of Catal Huyuk in Turkey.
They read my writing aloud to each other, amused and entertained. I
suspect you will soon have a similar experience, Aquarius: having to
“settle for” a soulful acknowledgment that’s different from what your
ego thought it wanted. Take it from me: That’s actually better.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My favorite plant food for my African
violets is a natural fertilizer called Big Bloom. One of its key ingredi-
ents — the stuff that makes it so effective — is bat guano. I’d like to
suggest that you’re about due to embark on the Big Blooming phase
of your own cycle, Pisces. And it’s more likely to reach its deserved
pinnacle of fertility if you’re willing to summon just a hint of bat-shit
craziness from the depths of your subconscious mind. But remember:
just a dollop, not a giant heap.
HOMEWORK: To check out my expanded audio forecast of your
destiny for the second half of 2011, go to http://bit.ly/LookForward
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I really thought I’d understand
sex better by now. After all these years of doing it and studying it and
thinking about it and talking about it, I still can’t regard myself as a
master of the subject. The kundalini’s uncanny behavior continues to
surprise me, perplex me, and thrill me with ever-new revelations. Just
when I imagine I’ve fi gured out how it all works, I’m delivered to some
fresh mystery. How about you, Sagittarius? Judging by the current
astrological omens, I’m guessing you’re due for a round of novel rev-
elations about the nature of eros. As long as you keep an open mind,
open heart, and open libido, it should all be pretty interesting.
Go to RealAstrology.com
to check out Rob Brezsny's
EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES
and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at
1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
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