Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current, June 16, 2011, Image 42

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Eugene weekly., June 16, 2011, Page 42, Image 42

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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (June 16, 2011)

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Newspaper Page TextWINK Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID Ads with a ☎ have Voice Mail Messages call 1-520-547-3013 • Browse local postings • Post your own proﬁ le Eugene Weekly’s Local Dating Site (Charges may apply) TG BLACK BARBIE TERI AT CHOPPER’S TRANSEXUAL BLACK GODDESS Serving Massages, Companionship, and Good times. Incall only Mornings, Noon, and Late nights. Call and or text:Leave Voicemail. Serious callers. TsAhmazin, 25, g , #106186 Oh Teri! You did an AMAZING job on Maia’s hair! Thank you for going above and beyond to make her happy. You’re a real, live HAIR SUPERHERO! Yes! When: Saturday, June 11, 2011. Where: Chopper’s Hair Salon. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902126 OUTDOORS, VEGGIE FOOD SARCASTIC BUBBLY KARA- OKE-MASTER 30, seeking nature, animal lover, builder/crafter. Love Eugene,local culture. 5’5 125... Dates? Meji, cuthbert. I like free box clothes and fancy food. No jaded hippies.... sun- shinesweetness, 30, g , #106329 WHERE’S THE SUN? SOMETHING INTERESTING Curious to see who is out there that I wouldn’t normally bump into. djncru, 25, #102795 Married woman looking for a woman. captainbolo, 35, #106213 SEEKING BIG FISH MUSICFINATIC I seek a man like me: active, fit, intellectual, accomplished, a stimulating conversationalist, sensual, playful, musical, kind, open-hearted and generous. In the right light I’m a knockout. You be beau? belleoftheball, 52, g , #106283 Moved here 4rm da east coast. I LOVE GURLS. Basically I do wat I want wateva dat is lol. Im new 2 da area & ready have fun!! magic2701, 20, g , #106093 BORED IN OREGON:] We’re a solid, fun-loving, healthy, fit, drama- and STD-free, poly couple, looking for a female friend with benefits. Emphasis on friend. She’s 20, he’s 26. 420 and nerd friendly! two_sexy, 20, g , #106083 ‘Ello:] I moved here from Utah and can’t find a place to really chill. I’d like to meet some new friends and possibly find a rela- tionship:}. rainbowladybug, 18, g , #106227 QUIRKY HIGH ENERGY Born and Raised. I’m a Eugene Native,Single mother looking for someone to just hang out with and get to know on an intellec- tual level, not someone who just wants sex. Brat, 30, g , #106201 WORLD TRAVELER Sweet and honest person look- ing for the right, honest compan- ion and friend to share life’s experiences and pleasures. I love books, garage sales, NPR, the Ducks, football, track and traveling. loulou, 62, #101279 TRIPPY-CONVERSATIONS, THREESOMES SOUTHERNBELLE TREEHUG- GER HOPELESSROMANTIC justmoved here fromTN.im laid back.downtoearth lovemusic.art. goodbeer.goodbud.lookin to make new friends.meet new people.lovemusic!lovefestivals n shows.i am my own person.tat- toos.piercings.people whocan keep up with me.witty.outspo- ken.lil wild.like to party.if u wan- naknow morejust lemmeknow. southern_charmer89, 22, g , #106033 A CHARMING POLYGON OUT TO PLAY? I love Bob Dylan and Nicki Minaj. I like to cook, dance and bike to Trader Joe’s. My dream is to live in a house with tons of flowers. patty, 20, ☎, g , #105932 Kind caring and loving good guy. Looking for that special some- one. I always like to have fun especially with friends and fami- ly. DaveRN69, 41, g , #106304 LOOKIN4 SUMTHIN NEW lookin 4punk or pierced or tatted bifemale who enjoys fine/funky things, havin fun, enjoyin life&just being. im 35bisexual,an awesome baker&chef, hot body, free-spirited&passionate who enjoys all that life is. Out_of_ the_Blu, 36, ☎, g , #105771 BLONDE AND INTELLIGENT I’m a confident person who loves to be with other people. I try to be nice to the people around me. I like to do random things, and find a d ve n t u re s. kelandry4157, 19, g , #105724 LITTLEMISSFUNSHINE;) i’m a cat loving stoner, with a great body,i love dressing up, i have a boyfriend but this is for me, i would like to hang out and get to know a nice pretty girl,. ashliemae91, 20, g , #105720 Free Will Astrology ARTISTIC, BLONDE, GAMER I’m very shy, but open up easily once I know you. I’m sweet and caring, fairly picky about who I date but I’m very open-minded as well. BoolahBee, 19, g , #106292 TRAVELER BACK HOME LOW KEY I’m an east coast transplant, liv- ing in the moment. I get enjoy- ment from mildly deep conversa- tion, with intermittent sarcasm. Hiking, camping, kayaking, bicy- cling, and goofing off keep me busy. GraceBeatsKarma, 26, #106316 SEEKING NICE LADY. I am looking for a nice lady around 48-55 to share my life & my home with, in a live-together type relationship, with marriage optional. BBW & OMMP friendly. Blonde1959, 52, #106313 HELLO IM HOT Im a 30 yr old man who works and goes to school fulltime. i just need to meet up with new people and start dating again, any que- tions just ask. danacorp81, 29, #106312 Looking for a lady to spoil while I’m summering in the Willamette Valley. jnettle11, 71, g , #106166 CURIOUS SOCIAL OREGONIAN HELLO Hi I preffer you ask me. Jaydeb, 22, #106246 SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE Newly single Shy guy, looking for the right one, gonna take my time deciding. SinglySHY, 31, g , #106236 LAIDBACK HUMOROUS CHAP Want meet some new people. Open to do just about anything. Looking for folk that don’t mind a kid, like to laugh, have a beer and kick back. Why not? stop- g , s4pennies, 33, #106232 PRAGMATIC EDUCATED MAN Looking for a woman who knows the meaning of Pragmatic and other large words!I have adegree inNetwork Admin.and in culinary arts aswellas otherdegrees(liket okeepthenogginbusy)would like someone to talk to The Pragmatist. Shag, 30, #106204 VA POUR G‚TEAU? Music history student at LCC. I like cooking, hanging out, and drinking coffee. I have no prefer- ence to kinks, as I am willing to try most things. Tehfuzzycrab, 23, g , #106199 For living in Eugene, its been hard to find open-minded peo- ple. I would like to fill my life with a wealth of well-rounded per- sons who like having a good time. bexasaur, 18, #106284 EASY GOING ATTITUDE. Looking for a friend to talk to, that’s really all. mcveigsh, 21, g , #106097 THAT’S MY CUPCAKE! I love going to the movies, going out for dinner and drinks. Going to baseball games. I enjoy paint- ing, reading a good book or just listening to some good music. VintageLakeHouse, 26, g , #106088 SNOWBOARDING RAGER/ EX-YUMMER! I like the outdoors. I’m a blazer. I like music. I’m distracted easily. I like to travel. I like to organize. I love food. I like to Rage. BusBoy186, 20, g , #105839 TITUS’S DRIVER’S LICENSE Youhave thesame name as my father’s middle.The newspaper clipping from the rail station,Mark Twain is from Missouri.Their refuse ison the side of the hill still.Stoneware fables.It was nice meeting you. When: Friday, June 10, 2011. Where: Willie Nelson at the Oyster Festival. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902125 NOT PERFECT YOU Thought you should know he will remain in MY life. Friend. No more than that. Fate will always do its job with you. It can take ones’ breath away. When: Tuesday, June 7, 2011. Where: TOO close. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902124 UK CHARMAINE little birdie told me about the winebelly.”Very happy,”she says. How do u like being my’new’ step-mother?ur oldest is very- sharp.Bumped me out of the nest? When: Monday, June 6, 2011. Where: surf shop. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #902122 COTTAGE CHEESE JULIE VAIL VANS WAS~ HOT!!! Think that’s what I heard.. When: Tuesday, June 7, 2011. Where: Camelback Mtn. Scottsdale,AZ. You: Man. Me: Woman. #902123 Just wanted to say thanks for yammering and belching all the way thru the play, it was a total delight to have two middle-age women remind me how Bush got elected. When: Sunday, June 12, 2011. Where: Cottage Grove Theatre. You: Annoying. Me: Annoyed. BY ROB BREZSNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): The ﬁ lm Tuck Everlasting tells the story of a family that becomes immortal after drinking from a magical spring. The two parents and their two sons hide their gift from the world, but eventually a mysterious man in a yellow suit ﬁ nds out about their secret and stalks them. At one point in his search, this man has a conversation with a young pastor. “What if you could be eternal?” he asks the priest. “Without having to face the uncertainty of death. Invincible to disease. Forever young.” The priest is rattled. “You speak blasphemy, sir,” he protests. “Fluently,” replies the man in the yellow suit. You have that mandate right now Aries: to speak blasphemy ﬂ uently, as well as any other rebellious diction. It’s time to rise up and express the unspeakable, the controversial, the revolutionary. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): There’s substantial evidence that the Amazon River used to ﬂ ow in the opposite direction from what it does now. Ages ago, its currents traveled westward from the Atlantic Ocean toward the Paciﬁ c (tinyurl.com/AmazonReversal). I’d like you to hold that image ﬁ rmly in mind as you contemplate a monumental shift of course in your own life. Let it serve as a surprising symbol of what’s possible — as a promise that you could actually manage to reverse a current that may seem immutable. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In Mark Harris’s novel Bang the Drum Slowly, professional baseball players cheat their fans out of money by engaging them in a card game called TEGWAR, which is an acronym for The Exciting Game Without Any Rules. Judging from your current astrological omens, Gemini, I’d say it’s prime time for you to play a more ethical version of this game. Strictly speaking, the game can have rules, but they may be changed at any time, and new ones may be added as needed. The object of your brand of TEGWAR is to have as much smart fun as possible without anyone getting hurt. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “The only way to let your dreams come true is to wake up,” said poet Paul Valery. Here’s how I think that applies to you right now. You’ve become too engrossed in the mythic, phantasmagorical feelings of your fantasies, and that’s interfering with your ability to muster all of the kick-ass pragmatism and super- charged willpower you will need to actually make your fantasies come to life. In other words, Cancerian, I advise you to snap out of your creamy dreamy haze with a self-induced wake-up call. Stop ﬂ oating and start grunting. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): As we began our ﬁ rst session, the 79-year-old Jungian psychotherapist looked at me with mischief in her eyes and said, “Go ahead — surprise me! What have you got?” I was torn. Part of me felt like rising to her challenge, meeting her dare: I fantasized about telling her such wild versions of my adventures that they would outstrip any tales she’d heard in her long service as a deep listener. 34 JUNE 16, 2011 EUGENE WEEKLY BiF; BBW; I like to sing, I like v. games, RPG, Nature, strange humor & reading I.S.O. Karaoker- lunchmate-rpger; someone less- than normal, a good sense of humour. Someone to have 420-adventures with! Leelamb, 20, ☎, g , #103840 But in the end I chose to tell the truth. I felt it was more important to explore my life’s actual mysteries than to entertain her. And that was the ﬁ rst healing she helped me achieve. I suspect a similar test is ahead for you, Leo. Would you rather be honest or impress people? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I predict that at no time in the coming weeks will anyone be justiﬁ ed in saying to you, “Your ego has been writing checks that your body can’t cash.” Nor will anyone have any reason to tell you, “You’d better start running if you hope to catch up with your dreams,” or “You may be an old soul but you’ve been acting like a naive punk.” No, Virgo, I ﬁ rmly believe that none of those accusations will be hurled at you. Why? Because from what I can tell, all of the various parts of your psyche will be in a greater state of col- laborative unity than they’ve been in for a long time. Your alienation from yourself will be at an all-time low, as will your levels of hypocrisy. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I’m brave in some ways, cowardly in others. I’ve gone parasailing, performed on big stages in front of thou- sands of people, assisted in the birth of two children, and explored the abyss of my own unconscious. On the other hand, I’m scared of con- ﬁ ned spaces, can’t bring myself to shoot a gun, and am a sissy when it comes time to be around people who are dying. I imagine that you, too, have areas of courage and timidity, Libra. And I suspect that in the coming weeks you will be called to a challenge in both areas. See if you can transfer some of the nervy power you’re able to summon in one sphere to bolster you in the place where you’re a wimp. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Kinky Dream and Funky Paradise chapter of your astrological cycle has arrived — a phase when you’ll have poetic license to let your imagination run wilder than usual. In fact, it’ll be prime time to escape into fantasyland and try on a new identity or two, complete with a host of outlandish nicknames. Your new hip hop name could be Extasy TrixxMaster. Your pro wrestler name could be Velvet Soul Pandora. Your mystic superhero name could be Mountain Wind Storm. Your Irish prostitute name could be Luscious X. Mahoney. Your rock star from the future name could be Destiny Acrobat. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you were the star of a fairy tale in which a spell had been placed on you, you would ﬁ nd a way to break that spell sometime in the next seven months. If you were the hero of a myth about a royal child abandoned in the wasteland by your evil nurse and raised by emotionally clumsy but well-meaning gnomes, your exile would soon end; your real parents, the king and queen, would ﬁ nd you after a long search, and your birthright would be restored. Now translate these themes into the actual circumstances of your life, Capricorn. Are you ready to do what it takes to achieve a healing and restoration that have been a long time coming? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): What is sacred? The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said it was anything that you cannot or will not laugh at. But I have the exact opposite view. If I’m unable to crack a joke about what I regard as holy, then it’s not holy. For me, part of what makes an idea or person or object holy is its power to animate my sense of humor and put me in the mood to play. Where do you stand on this issue, Aquarius? If you’re aligned with my view, you will have some wonderful opportunities to commune with the sacred in the coming days. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the chorus of my band’s song “Apa- thy and Ignorance,” I sing, “What is the difference between apathy and ignorance?” and the other two singers chant, “I don’t know and I don’t care.” I recommend you make that chant your mantra in the coming days, Pisces: “I don’t know and I don’t care.” You really do need to experiment with a mischievous state of mind that is blithely heedless of what anyone thinks about anything. You have the right and the privilege to be free of expectations, precedents, and dogmas. Trust you intuition above all other inﬂ uences! It’s an excellent time to at least temporarily declare your independence from everything that’s not interesting or useful or helpful or appealing. HOMEWORK: What part of yourself are you most scared of? Is it time to give that part a peace offering? Testify at Freewillastrology. com. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The coming weeks could be a Golden Age for your perceptiveness. If you’re even moderately aligned with the cosmic rhythms, you will be able to discern hidden agendas that no one else has spotted, catch clues that have been hidden, and be able to recognize and register interesting sights you’ve previously been blind to. To maximize your ability to cash in on this fantastic op- portunity, say this afﬁ rmation frequently: “My eyes are working twice as well as usual. I can see things I don’t normally notice.” Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. WWW.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM • BLOGS.EUGENEWEEKLY.COM