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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (April 21, 2005)
See something you like? Respond to an ad! Call: 1-888-652-6385 Date Girl THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT BROUGHT TO M y lo i n s a re ex p lo d in g . At ev e ry mo me n t o f e ve ry d a y, I ’m a wa r e th at t h ey h a ve n ’t h a d s e ri o us a c ti o n i n o ve r a y ea r . M y l a st r om p w a s w i th my g ir lf r ie n d o f f o u r y e ar s . S in ce t h en , I ’v e d at ed a fe w p eo p le , b u t I j us t di d n’ t li k e t he w o me n e no u gh t o ke e p i t go in g . I n t h e la s t f e w mo nt h s , I’ v e b ee n i n a s ta t e of t ra n si t io n — i . e ., qu it t in g my jo b , a pp l yi n g f o r g ra d u a te s c h oo l , a nd m o vi n g b a c k t o my ho m e - to wn . No w I ’m r ea d y t o d a t e a g a in . I t h i n k. I am n ot a n ou tg o i n g pe rs o n. I te nd to b e m o r e r es er ve d an d d ip lo - m a ti c in m y n at u re . (M i d d le - ch il d sy n - d r o me ? ) I c o ns i d er my s el f a b ov e a ve r a g e in l o o ks , b u t on t he s h o rt er si d e. I a m ex tr e me l y a w a r e t ha t n o t ma n y w om en f i n d s o me o n e u n de r 5 fo ot 1 0 a s at tr ac t iv e a s s om e o n e t al l e r. I h a t e t he f a ct t h a t I ’m po t en - ti a ll y c re a t in g m y o wn p r o b le m b y fo c us in g o n m y he i g h t! O h y ea h, an o t he r t hi n g : I ’v e n ev e r b ee n d u mp ed . I ’ ve a l w a y s b ee n t h e d um pe r . I d ef i n i t el y h av e a g u a rd u p w he n it co me s t o g et ti n g t o k n ow p eo pl e , a n d I ’v e b e en t o l d I ’m a v er y p i c ky d a t er . ( I s t ha t su ch a b ad t hi n g? ) D o I j u s t n ee d a f e w k e y d at in g t i p s to g et pa s t my p er so n a l h a n g - u p s ? O r i s my lo w s e l f- e st ee m a t p la y h e re ? — E xp l o di n g L oi n s Plenty of short guys get laid. Yes, it can be a disadvantage, but believe me, women are far more forgiving of, ahem, shortcomings than men are. I’ve met total schlubs who will pick apart the most perfect woman’s body, pointing out any and all “flaws.” You often see beastly men with out-of- their-league gorgeous women; how often do you see that in reverse? Never. As for being picky — see what I mean? Listen, midge (and I mean that in only the kindest way), if you expect a lady to see past your diminutive stature, I suggest you quit being a hypocrite and let your standards “slip” a bit. While you’re doing that, I suggest you prepare yourself for the fact that along with nose hairs and death, get- ting dumped is an inevitability and you’re dating on borrowed time. No YOU v m A accepted or 1-900-226-2436, $1.89/min. 18 or older. To respond to a Blind Box: Mail a letter to Eugene Weekly, 1251 Lincoln St. Eugene, OR 97401. Attention the letter to the Blind Box name. BY JUDY MCGUIRE BY need to get all worried about it, either. Having someone forcibly pull your heart out through your ass builds character. Now quit overthinking things and get out there and get some. I l u st a f te r r e al l y ta ll w o me n . M y f e t is h i s so s tr o ng , I f i n d m ys e lf as k - i n g p ot en t ia l d a te s i f th ey ’ r e n a t ur al l y 5 fo ot 1 1 o r t a ll e r w i t ho ut an y s ho e s o n , o r if t he i r h e ig h t me a su r em e nt s a r e “ w it h s h o es o n. ” I l i k e t he m t ha t t a ll , s t a nd in g ba r ef o ot , w it h ou t a ny s h o e s on . Ma yb e it ’ s b ec a u se I a d mi r e r ea l - l y l o n g le g s a nd th e fa nt a sy o f b e in g c h ok e d b y a pa ir o f f em i ni n e , w h it e , s il k y- sm oo th l e g s re a ll y ma k es m e s t an d u p at a t t e n ti o n ! N ow , in my la te 2 0s , I fi n d m ys el f l u s ti n g af t e r t a ll w om en w ho I a ls o h at e b e ca us e I t hi n k i t ’s u nf a i r t h a t t h e gu y a l w ay s ha s t o ma ke t h e fi r st m ov e a n d t h e wo ma n h as t he op ti o n t o a c ce p t or r ej e ct t he g u y. It s uc ks b e in g a ma n s o m et im e s . I s a y t o al l u s s ho rt g uy s o ut t he re , it ’ s ou r t ur n t o a ve n ge o ur s el v e s a g a i n st ta l l w o me n f or n o t g iv i n g u s t he ir l o v - i n g ! I ca l l u p o n y ou t o ba n d t og et h e r, an d th e ne x t ti m e y o u ar e bl o w n o ff b y a ta ll vi x e n, g o o ff o n he r , e x pl a in - i n g h o w m u c h ba l l s i t t oo k fo r y o u to b e ho ne st a n d co n fr o nt h e r, ev en if i t m ea n t de a li n g wi t h r ej e c t io n . D on ’ t le t th em o ff s c o t- fr e e! Y ea h , w e ma y b e s h o rt , bu t if w e w e r e t a l le r, w e w ou ld - n ’ t a p pr ec ia t e y o ur to we r in g b ea u t y l ik e w e d o n ow ! S o th e re ! — L o w -R id in g L u na t ic OK, so I made up your nom de plume, but really — whatup with all the nutty short guys today? Before you work your abbreviated brethren all up into a tizzy, why don’t you focus on the real problem, which would be your rather demented per- sonality. No offense, but most ladies (regardless of their height) don’t find a fella who wants to be choked all that appealing. What you’re seeking is a rare bird. A cuckoo, if you will. Originally published in Seattle Weekly, March 16. Date Girl can be contacted at dategirl@earthlink.net ETERNAL OPTIMIST MY PLEDGE TO YOU Easygoing thirty something, slightly plus sized sweetheart. I still believe in possibility, do you? Let’s share the journey; from the simple to sublime. Honesty, humor, affection, togetherness and adventures await! ☎ 5587 I offer to you, lovely and lucky, my total “G-spot Maintenance Program” including: a com- plete inspection, polish and waxed, tongue in groove method, fluids exchanged, plus my guaranteed unlimited mul- tiples warranty. Call now to qualify, slots are filling up fast! ☎ 5586 GOT SPURS? I’m fit, attractive, in good health, happy, financially secure. I enjoy camping, gar- dening, woodworking, just hav- ing fun. I’d like to meet an hon- est gentleman, 45-55, with sim- ilar likes, to share life’s moments. ☎ 5572 RESCUE ME Empty nester in distress. Kids gone, no man. Help! SWF, fat, lazy, 49, 5’8”, long brown, hazel. ISO SM, kind, honest, loyal and herb friendly for companionship, possilbe LTR, love? ☎ 5563 SHOWER ME! 21 and sexy, wants generous man to pamper me! No com- mitment, just shower me with your generosity! Please leave phone number and email. ☎ 5559 ONE SOUL It’s said God creates one soul and splits it into male and female. When hearts are pure enough, they inevitably meet. Imagine. Ready? 45-55. NS, ND, professional, healthy. ☎ 5527 QUIXOTIC Sagittarius seeks taller men for potential LTR. Me: intelligent, independent, adventurous. You: open-minded, aware but not arrogant, intelligent, pas- sionate. Let us seek romance on our terms. ☎ 5524 LIKE TO DANCE? SWF slim, attractive, educated, kids grown, values mental and physical fitness, virility, refine- ment, self honesty. You: edu- cated, NS, ND, solvent, HWP, over 5’6” seeking greater truth. ☎ 5495 BAGGAGE CHECK SWF, 39, fun, cute, petite, fit, currently living in Adriondacks. Open to change, unconvention- al, love outdoors, adventure, 4:20, baggage free, great catch, distance not a problem. ☎ 5489 PHD, MD, JD ONLY Young sensuous 53 yo SWF with doctorate ISO educated, fit, honest, forthright man who communicates directly, desires equal partner for LTR including emotional and physical intima- cy. Hiking, camping. NS. ☎ 5459 BE A COMPANION Attractive WChF, 57, loves out- doors, adventurous. ISO family oriented, trustworthy country gentleman. Companionship first, possible LTR. NS, ND. ☎ 5448 WHAT’S IN EUGENE? Very attractive SWF seeks attractive SPM 30-40 to get to know Eugene with. I enjoy music, dining, outdoors ... goofy to serious. Let’s see what’s out there. ☎ 5442 KIND, HONEST? Tall, 50s female professor in search of kind, honest, bookish man who enjoys music, Bijou films and the outdoors. ☎ 5440 LOVING MAN WANTED Intelligent, pretty, honest, pas- sionate, very special woman, youthful early 50s, with lots to give. What’s the catch? Cancer, unfortunately. Nurturing, giv- ing, great man wanted. Let’s love fully, while we can. ☎ 5433 42 APRIL 21, 2005 LET’S ENJOY SPRING 34, SWM desiring spirited and spiritual companionship. Looking for an independent woman, 28-42. Someone satis- fied by the simple, sustainable things in our world, yet, that also seeks adventure. ☎ 5584 MAGICAL PATH DWM, 45, professional, poly, on a magical path. Fit nonsmoker, artistic and musical: KWAX, KLCC, KRVM. Seeks fit, sensual and spiritual woman, 30-45 nonsmoker for mutual explo- ration and growth, conversa- tion and more. Dislikes: Hollywood, television, conser- vative politics and dancing. ☎ 5583 PROGRESSIVE MAN Progressive, honest SWM 53, into music, nature, cuddling, fun, travel, trading massages, possible LTR. ISO independent, NS SF for dating, friendship, romance, outdoor activities. No Republicans or religious fanat- ics please. ☎ 5579 SENSITIVE MUSICIAN Depressed, lonely, SWM, musi- cian, 18, 5’10”, 160 pounds, veg- etarian, athletic, ISO sweet hippy girl, 18-23, for possible LTR. Interests include music, skating and nature. ☎ 5578 FUN ADVENTURE Seeking free spirit for fun and frolic, travel and adventure. Drug free, pleasant Italian, 5’10”, 185 lbs. Cooks, doesn’t do dished so eats out. Wants long term relationship. Let’s meet? ☎ 5567 HIPPIE LIFE SPM 40s seeks hippie chick to befriend. Include hippie spirit- ed, wannabe, look a like, has been, minded, newbie. Where are you hiding? Saturday Market? ☎ 5561 OUTDOOR LOVER ... Forth right and very open minded, gentle, kind, educated man, seeking a equal partner to explore all the possibilities. You be honest; no drama and open minded as well. ☎ 5528 HELLO MS. ROBINSON Youth seeks fun while young. Wanna feel like a kid again for a while? Desperate housewife? Late night frolics? Maybe some interesting conversation on the side? Let me know. ☎ 5520 INTIMACY AND FUN SWPM, 58, 175, 5’9”, NS, attrac- tive, fit, educated, financially successful. Seeks companion, friend, mutual support, intima- cy and fun in LTR with intelli- gent, stable, attractive, affec- tionate, communicative woman. ☎ 5518 ADVENTURING General adventuring indoors and outdoors: Nature, hiking, bicycling, XC skiing, music, din- ing, wine, Bijou ... SWPM highly educated, quirky sense of humor ISO 30-40s educated SPF NS; poss. LTR. ☎ 5517 MASSAGE AND TANTRA Sensual, positive, independent SWM 40s seeking a partner above 5’6’’ for walking, jazz, honesty, play, connection, hot tub, hiking and more as friend- ship allows. Learn about mas- sage and Tantra. ☎ 5516 ART LOVER WOODSMAN IN NEED You like classical music. You like art. You like to wine and dine indoors and out. You are stable and at peace in your life but want more. You’re between 25-50. LTR only. ☎ 5514 SWM 28 seeking female 22-32 for outdoor adventures, movies and conversation. 5’2”, stalky, black hair, blue/gray eyes. Open-mind- ed, progressive woman apply. ☎ 5438 SINGLE MOM WANTED! For a single Dad. Liberals only please. I’m a family oriented Dad, 49 yo, with nice looks. Still 5’9”. Looking for a family ori- ented woman! If you’re missing love and you’re 35 to 50 some- thing, stable, healthy, NS and interested in a possible LTR, if magic is there, please respond. ☎ 5513 ALPHA FEMALE Where’s the little girl? My boy side bets she’s alive. Remember wild, carefree rides on spaceship Earth? Let’s explore the Blue Planet. SWM, 55. Ready To Go! ☎ 5512 LOOKING FOR #1 Me: 20 yo virgin looking for a voluptuous female to teach me the tricks of the trade prefer- ably between 20-25. ☎ 5510 ONE OF A KIND Must be attractive, liberal and sweet like me. Like sex and tak- ing it easy. Mature PM seeks 30-50 yo friend to share a pri- vate space and perhaps create a dream. ☎ 5504 RHYTHM TO A SONG SWM, 52, been told I’m hand- some, would like to resonate that way with a considerate woman. Would like to share uncomplicated life. ND, NS, just good things to come our way. ☎ 5503 SEARCHING SWM 58, compassionate home- body ISO romantic companion- ship. I’m a kindhearted man who would like to meet someone who enjoys walks, movies, cook- ing etc. ☎ 5435 YOU AND ME? SWM attentive, passionate, hon- est, romantic ISO friendship, possible LTR with WF, 45-55. ☎ 5432 THIS JOURNEY Secure and fit 36 yo SWM seeks independent companion on life’s journey. Laughter, friendship, integrity and optimistic atti- tudes are what we share in com- mon. Interested? NS, ND. ☎ 5426 JESTER SEEKS QUEEN 5’10”, Dark and Handsome! Gainfully employed, professional looking for companionship, fun times. Very honest, sincere, playful, witty and caring. ISO someone with similar attributes to possibly be my soulmate and queen. ☎ 5425 KIND HONEST MAN Intelligent, attractive, sensual, financially secure, lonely SWM, 5’8’’, 150 lbs seeks warmhearted woman, 45-65, any ethnicity. My interests include organic gar- dening, music, dancing, reading, films, spirituality, nature, com- munity, simple living, learning Spanish, Mexican vacations, social change. ☎ 5422 GOT TOYS? Attractive, retired DWM seeks sexy senior WF for occasional afternoon fun. Let’s get togeth- er for some good times. Got toys? ☎ 5502 LOOKING FOR YOU New to area, honest, good look- ing SWM, 46. ISO female, 30-45 for fun, conversation, compan- ionship, love. Let’s sight see, dance, and get to know each other. ☎ 5501 BROWSE B4U BUY Middle age SWM. You write me, I’ll tell you where I work. You can view me anonymously. Nobody gets hurt. How easy is that? Seeking SWF. Write Blind Box: “Browse B4U Buy.” ✍ FUN LOVER WANTED Newly single man. Ready for romance not marriage. Looking for someone between 25-40 years old who is easy going. I like from cooking to car racing. Herb friendly is a plus. ☎ 5487 MAMA APPROVED! Hello Eugene area. 35, 6’1”, 160 athletic single guy looking for a woman 25-35 or so for friends maybe more. Hiking, biking, cooking, animals, antiques, kids, good beer and coffee. ☎ 5465 ANYONE OUT THERE? Looking for love in all the right places. Honest easy going 45 yo, healthy mind and body. Looking for a female friend to spend time to together let’s have fun. ☎ 5460 YOU NEVER KNOW Married BiF, 40 something, busy professional, looking to fill miniscule free time with female companionship. Luscious lips a plus. Prefer South Lane area. ☎ 5523 MAMADYKE MEETUP I’m new to the area and looking for other mamadykes to con- nect with. I would love to host a weekly play date, stitch and bitch, childcare exchange, whatever! ☎ 5519 BI WOMEN’S GROUP For bisexual women of all back- grounds, 21 and over. On going for over 15 yrs. Gathering on the third Friday of every month. No Men. No Gays and no TG/TS. ☎ 5483 WEEKEND IN BEND Ironic, stylish mid-20s woman seeks romantic entanglement. If you are interesting, intelli- gent and planning a trip over to Bend anytime soon, I might be something to look forward to. No couples. ☎ 5446 FRIENDS OR LOVERS 34 yo grad student seeking gorgeous women to romp and cavort with, or marry. I like super smart, savvy, sarcastic, sweet, strong, silly, sexy, spiri- tual women! ☎ 5428 WILD-SIDE HUMOR SWM 40 seeking female com- panion 24-45 to hike, fish, camp, movies, cooking, dinners and explore the outdoors together. Let’s bond in the out- doors and see where life takes us. ☎ 5453 OUTDOOR WOMEN FOR YOUR MOUTH SWM mid 40s seeking female companion 22-45 to explore the outdoor together. Love the movies, cooking, dinners. Let’s bond in the outdoors and see where life takes us. ☎ 5452 Open Wide and let me inside. I’m ready for you. Show up at Neighbors any Tuesday between 7-9 for free oral swab HIV Testing. 342-5088 for more information. A GOOD WOMAN TWO MEN SEEK MAN Handsome, single, foreign decent, 52, 5’7”. Funny, own business, needs one good woman, 40-50. Looks not important. Good heart for inti- macy, possible LTR. Discretion required. ☎ 5447 Two very good looking guys, 37 and 27, white, looking for a very good looking guy under 35 for ongoing sexual encounters. Be straight acting, masculine, be top or versatile. Corvallis. ☎ 5492
