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Date Girl
THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT
BROUGHT
TO
M y lo i n s a re ex p lo d in g . At ev e ry
mo me n t o f e ve ry d a y, I ’m a wa r e th at
t h ey h a ve n ’t h a d s e ri o us a c ti o n i n
o ve r a y ea r . M y l a st r om p w a s w i th
my g ir lf r ie n d o f f o u r y e ar s . S in ce
t h en , I ’v e d at ed a fe w p eo p le , b u t I
j us t di d n’ t li k e t he w o me n e no u gh t o
ke e p i t go in g . I n t h e la s t f e w mo nt h s ,
I’ v e b ee n i n a s ta t e of t ra n si t io n — i . e .,
qu it t in g my jo b , a pp l yi n g f o r g ra d u a te
s c h oo l , a nd m o vi n g b a c k t o my ho m e -
to wn . No w I ’m r ea d y t o d a t e a g a in . I
t h i n k.
I am n ot a n ou tg o i n g pe rs o n. I
te nd to b e m o r e r es er ve d an d d ip lo -
m a ti c in m y n at u re . (M i d d le - ch il d sy n -
d r o me ? ) I c o ns i d er my s el f a b ov e
a ve r a g e in l o o ks , b u t on t he s h o rt er
si d e. I a m ex tr e me l y a w a r e t ha t n o t
ma n y w om en f i n d s o me o n e u n de r 5
fo ot 1 0 a s at tr ac t iv e a s s om e o n e
t al l e r. I h a t e t he f a ct t h a t I ’m po t en -
ti a ll y c re a t in g m y o wn p r o b le m b y
fo c us in g o n m y he i g h t!
O h y ea h, an o t he r t hi n g : I ’v e
n ev e r b ee n d u mp ed . I ’ ve a l w a y s b ee n
t h e d um pe r . I d ef i n i t el y h av e a g u a rd
u p w he n it co me s t o g et ti n g t o k n ow
p eo pl e , a n d I ’v e b e en t o l d I ’m a v er y
p i c ky d a t er . ( I s t ha t su ch a b ad
t hi n g? )
D o I j u s t n ee d a f e w k e y d at in g
t i p s to g et pa s t my p er so n a l h a n g -
u p s ? O r i s my lo w s e l f- e st ee m a t p la y
h e re ?
— E xp l o di n g L oi n s
Plenty of short guys get laid. Yes,
it can be a disadvantage, but believe
me, women are far more forgiving of,
ahem, shortcomings than men are.
I’ve met total schlubs who will pick
apart the most perfect woman’s body,
pointing out any and all “flaws.” You
often see beastly men with out-of-
their-league gorgeous women; how
often do you see that in reverse?
Never.
As for being picky — see what I
mean? Listen, midge (and I mean that
in only the kindest way), if you expect
a lady to see past your diminutive
stature, I suggest you quit being a
hypocrite and let your standards
“slip” a bit.
While you’re doing that, I suggest
you prepare yourself for the fact that
along with nose hairs and death, get-
ting dumped is an inevitability and
you’re dating on borrowed time. No
YOU
v m A accepted or 1-900-226-2436, $1.89/min. 18 or older. To respond to a Blind Box: Mail a
letter to Eugene Weekly, 1251 Lincoln St. Eugene, OR 97401. Attention the letter to the Blind Box name.
BY JUDY MCGUIRE
BY
need to get all worried about it, either.
Having someone forcibly pull your
heart out through your ass builds
character.
Now quit overthinking things and
get out there and get some.
I l u st a f te r r e al l y ta ll w o me n . M y
f e t is h i s so s tr o ng , I f i n d m ys e lf as k -
i n g p ot en t ia l d a te s i f th ey ’ r e n a t ur al l y
5 fo ot 1 1 o r t a ll e r w i t ho ut an y s ho e s
o n , o r if t he i r h e ig h t me a su r em e nt s
a r e “ w it h s h o es o n. ” I l i k e t he m t ha t
t a ll , s t a nd in g ba r ef o ot , w it h ou t a ny
s h o e s on .
Ma yb e it ’ s b ec a u se I a d mi r e r ea l -
l y l o n g le g s a nd th e fa nt a sy o f b e in g
c h ok e d b y a pa ir o f f em i ni n e , w h it e ,
s il k y- sm oo th l e g s re a ll y ma k es m e
s t an d u p at a t t e n ti o n !
N ow , in my la te 2 0s , I fi n d m ys el f
l u s ti n g af t e r t a ll w om en w ho I a ls o
h at e b e ca us e I t hi n k i t ’s u nf a i r t h a t
t h e gu y a l w ay s ha s t o ma ke t h e fi r st
m ov e a n d t h e wo ma n h as t he op ti o n
t o a c ce p t or r ej e ct t he g u y.
It s uc ks b e in g a ma n s o m et im e s . I
s a y t o al l u s s ho rt g uy s o ut t he re , it ’ s
ou r t ur n t o a ve n ge o ur s el v e s a g a i n st
ta l l w o me n f or n o t g iv i n g u s t he ir l o v -
i n g ! I ca l l u p o n y ou t o ba n d t og et h e r,
an d th e ne x t ti m e y o u ar e bl o w n o ff
b y a ta ll vi x e n, g o o ff o n he r , e x pl a in -
i n g h o w m u c h ba l l s i t t oo k fo r y o u to
b e ho ne st a n d co n fr o nt h e r, ev en if i t
m ea n t de a li n g wi t h r ej e c t io n . D on ’ t le t
th em o ff s c o t- fr e e! Y ea h , w e ma y b e
s h o rt , bu t if w e w e r e t a l le r, w e w ou ld -
n ’ t a p pr ec ia t e y o ur to we r in g b ea u t y
l ik e w e d o n ow ! S o th e re !
— L o w -R id in g L u na t ic
OK, so I made up your nom de
plume, but really — whatup with all
the nutty short guys today? Before
you work your abbreviated brethren
all up into a tizzy, why don’t you
focus on the real problem, which
would be your rather demented per-
sonality. No offense, but most ladies
(regardless of their height) don’t find
a fella who wants to be choked all
that appealing. What you’re seeking
is a rare bird. A cuckoo, if you will.
Originally published in Seattle Weekly,
March 16. Date Girl can be contacted at
dategirl@earthlink.net
ETERNAL OPTIMIST
MY PLEDGE TO YOU
Easygoing thirty something,
slightly plus sized sweetheart. I
still believe in possibility, do
you? Let’s share the journey;
from the simple to sublime.
Honesty, humor, affection,
togetherness and adventures
await! ☎ 5587
I offer to you, lovely and lucky,
my total “G-spot Maintenance
Program” including: a com-
plete inspection, polish and
waxed, tongue in groove
method, fluids exchanged, plus
my guaranteed unlimited mul-
tiples warranty. Call now to
qualify, slots are filling up fast!
☎ 5586
GOT SPURS?
I’m fit, attractive, in good
health, happy, financially
secure. I enjoy camping, gar-
dening, woodworking, just hav-
ing fun. I’d like to meet an hon-
est gentleman, 45-55, with sim-
ilar likes, to share life’s
moments. ☎ 5572
RESCUE ME
Empty nester in distress. Kids
gone, no man. Help! SWF, fat,
lazy, 49, 5’8”, long brown,
hazel. ISO SM, kind, honest,
loyal and herb friendly for
companionship, possilbe LTR,
love? ☎ 5563
SHOWER ME!
21 and sexy, wants generous
man to pamper me! No com-
mitment, just shower me with
your generosity! Please leave
phone number and email. ☎
5559
ONE SOUL
It’s said God creates one soul
and splits it into male and
female. When hearts are pure
enough, they inevitably meet.
Imagine. Ready? 45-55. NS, ND,
professional, healthy. ☎ 5527
QUIXOTIC
Sagittarius seeks taller men for
potential LTR. Me: intelligent,
independent, adventurous.
You: open-minded, aware but
not arrogant, intelligent, pas-
sionate. Let us seek romance
on our terms. ☎ 5524
LIKE TO DANCE?
SWF slim, attractive, educated,
kids grown, values mental and
physical fitness, virility, refine-
ment, self honesty. You: edu-
cated, NS, ND, solvent, HWP,
over 5’6” seeking greater
truth. ☎ 5495
BAGGAGE CHECK
SWF, 39, fun, cute, petite, fit,
currently living in Adriondacks.
Open to change, unconvention-
al, love outdoors, adventure,
4:20, baggage free, great catch,
distance not a problem. ☎
5489
PHD, MD, JD ONLY
Young sensuous 53 yo SWF with
doctorate ISO educated, fit,
honest, forthright man who
communicates directly, desires
equal partner for LTR including
emotional and physical intima-
cy. Hiking, camping. NS. ☎ 5459
BE A COMPANION
Attractive WChF, 57, loves out-
doors, adventurous. ISO family
oriented, trustworthy country
gentleman. Companionship
first, possible LTR. NS, ND. ☎
5448
WHAT’S IN EUGENE?
Very attractive SWF seeks
attractive SPM 30-40 to get to
know Eugene with. I enjoy
music, dining, outdoors ...
goofy to serious. Let’s see
what’s out there. ☎ 5442
KIND, HONEST?
Tall, 50s female professor in
search of kind, honest, bookish
man who enjoys music, Bijou
films and the outdoors. ☎ 5440
LOVING MAN WANTED
Intelligent, pretty, honest, pas-
sionate, very special woman,
youthful early 50s, with lots to
give. What’s the catch? Cancer,
unfortunately. Nurturing, giv-
ing, great man wanted. Let’s
love fully, while we can. ☎
5433
42 APRIL 21, 2005
LET’S ENJOY SPRING
34, SWM desiring spirited and
spiritual
companionship.
Looking for an independent
woman, 28-42. Someone satis-
fied by the simple, sustainable
things in our world, yet, that
also seeks adventure. ☎ 5584
MAGICAL PATH
DWM, 45, professional, poly, on
a magical path. Fit nonsmoker,
artistic and musical: KWAX,
KLCC, KRVM. Seeks fit, sensual
and spiritual woman, 30-45
nonsmoker for mutual explo-
ration and growth, conversa-
tion and more. Dislikes:
Hollywood, television, conser-
vative politics and dancing. ☎
5583
PROGRESSIVE MAN
Progressive, honest SWM 53,
into music, nature, cuddling,
fun, travel, trading massages,
possible LTR. ISO independent,
NS SF for dating, friendship,
romance, outdoor activities. No
Republicans or religious fanat-
ics please. ☎ 5579
SENSITIVE MUSICIAN
Depressed, lonely, SWM, musi-
cian, 18, 5’10”, 160 pounds, veg-
etarian, athletic, ISO sweet
hippy girl, 18-23, for possible
LTR. Interests include music,
skating and nature. ☎ 5578
FUN ADVENTURE
Seeking free spirit for fun and
frolic, travel and adventure.
Drug free, pleasant Italian,
5’10”, 185 lbs. Cooks, doesn’t do
dished so eats out. Wants long
term relationship. Let’s meet?
☎ 5567
HIPPIE LIFE
SPM 40s seeks hippie chick to
befriend. Include hippie spirit-
ed, wannabe, look a like, has
been, minded, newbie. Where
are you hiding? Saturday
Market? ☎ 5561
OUTDOOR LOVER ...
Forth right and very open
minded, gentle, kind, educated
man, seeking a equal partner
to explore all the possibilities.
You be honest; no drama and
open minded as well. ☎ 5528
HELLO MS. ROBINSON
Youth seeks fun while young.
Wanna feel like a kid again for a
while? Desperate housewife?
Late night frolics? Maybe some
interesting conversation on
the side? Let me know. ☎ 5520
INTIMACY AND FUN
SWPM, 58, 175, 5’9”, NS, attrac-
tive, fit, educated, financially
successful. Seeks companion,
friend, mutual support, intima-
cy and fun in LTR with intelli-
gent, stable, attractive, affec-
tionate,
communicative
woman. ☎ 5518
ADVENTURING
General adventuring indoors
and outdoors: Nature, hiking,
bicycling, XC skiing, music, din-
ing, wine, Bijou ... SWPM highly
educated, quirky sense of
humor ISO 30-40s educated
SPF NS; poss. LTR. ☎ 5517
MASSAGE AND TANTRA
Sensual, positive, independent
SWM 40s seeking a partner
above 5’6’’ for walking, jazz,
honesty, play, connection, hot
tub, hiking and more as friend-
ship allows. Learn about mas-
sage and Tantra. ☎ 5516
ART LOVER
WOODSMAN IN NEED
You like classical music. You
like art. You like to wine and
dine indoors and out. You are
stable and at peace in your life
but want more. You’re between
25-50. LTR only. ☎ 5514
SWM 28 seeking female 22-32 for
outdoor adventures, movies and
conversation. 5’2”, stalky, black
hair, blue/gray eyes. Open-mind-
ed, progressive woman apply. ☎
5438
SINGLE MOM WANTED!
For a single Dad. Liberals only
please. I’m a family oriented
Dad, 49 yo, with nice looks. Still
5’9”. Looking for a family ori-
ented woman! If you’re missing
love and you’re 35 to 50 some-
thing, stable, healthy, NS and
interested in a possible LTR, if
magic is there, please respond.
☎ 5513
ALPHA FEMALE
Where’s the little girl? My boy
side bets she’s alive.
Remember wild, carefree rides
on spaceship Earth? Let’s
explore the Blue Planet. SWM,
55. Ready To Go! ☎ 5512
LOOKING FOR #1
Me: 20 yo virgin looking for a
voluptuous female to teach me
the tricks of the trade prefer-
ably between 20-25. ☎ 5510
ONE OF A KIND
Must be attractive, liberal and
sweet like me. Like sex and tak-
ing it easy. Mature PM seeks
30-50 yo friend to share a pri-
vate space and perhaps create
a dream. ☎ 5504
RHYTHM TO A SONG
SWM, 52, been told I’m hand-
some, would like to resonate
that way with a considerate
woman. Would like to share
uncomplicated life. ND, NS, just
good things to come our way.
☎ 5503
SEARCHING
SWM 58, compassionate home-
body ISO romantic companion-
ship. I’m a kindhearted man who
would like to meet someone
who enjoys walks, movies, cook-
ing etc. ☎ 5435
YOU AND ME?
SWM attentive, passionate, hon-
est, romantic ISO friendship,
possible LTR with WF, 45-55. ☎
5432
THIS JOURNEY
Secure and fit 36 yo SWM seeks
independent companion on life’s
journey. Laughter, friendship,
integrity and optimistic atti-
tudes are what we share in com-
mon. Interested? NS, ND. ☎ 5426
JESTER SEEKS QUEEN
5’10”, Dark and Handsome!
Gainfully employed, professional
looking for companionship, fun
times. Very honest, sincere,
playful, witty and caring. ISO
someone with similar attributes
to possibly be my soulmate and
queen. ☎ 5425
KIND HONEST MAN
Intelligent, attractive, sensual,
financially secure, lonely SWM,
5’8’’, 150 lbs seeks warmhearted
woman, 45-65, any ethnicity. My
interests include organic gar-
dening, music, dancing, reading,
films, spirituality, nature, com-
munity, simple living, learning
Spanish, Mexican vacations,
social change. ☎ 5422
GOT TOYS?
Attractive, retired DWM seeks
sexy senior WF for occasional
afternoon fun. Let’s get togeth-
er for some good times. Got
toys? ☎ 5502
LOOKING FOR YOU
New to area, honest, good look-
ing SWM, 46. ISO female, 30-45
for fun, conversation, compan-
ionship, love. Let’s sight see,
dance, and get to know each
other. ☎ 5501
BROWSE B4U BUY
Middle age SWM. You write me,
I’ll tell you where I work. You
can view me anonymously.
Nobody gets hurt. How easy is
that? Seeking SWF. Write Blind
Box: “Browse B4U Buy.” ✍
FUN LOVER WANTED
Newly single man. Ready for
romance not marriage. Looking
for someone between 25-40
years old who is easy going. I
like from cooking to car racing.
Herb friendly is a plus. ☎ 5487
MAMA APPROVED!
Hello Eugene area. 35, 6’1”, 160
athletic single guy looking for
a woman 25-35 or so for
friends maybe more. Hiking,
biking, cooking, animals,
antiques, kids, good beer and
coffee. ☎ 5465
ANYONE OUT THERE?
Looking for love in all the right
places. Honest easy going 45
yo, healthy mind and body.
Looking for a female friend to
spend time to together let’s
have fun. ☎ 5460
YOU NEVER KNOW
Married BiF, 40 something,
busy professional, looking to
fill miniscule free time with
female
companionship.
Luscious lips a plus. Prefer
South Lane area. ☎ 5523
MAMADYKE MEETUP
I’m new to the area and looking
for other mamadykes to con-
nect with. I would love to host a
weekly play date, stitch and
bitch, childcare exchange,
whatever! ☎ 5519
BI WOMEN’S GROUP
For bisexual women of all back-
grounds, 21 and over. On going
for over 15 yrs. Gathering on
the third Friday of every
month. No Men. No Gays and no
TG/TS. ☎ 5483
WEEKEND IN BEND
Ironic, stylish mid-20s woman
seeks romantic entanglement.
If you are interesting, intelli-
gent and planning a trip over
to Bend anytime soon, I might
be something to look forward
to. No couples. ☎ 5446
FRIENDS OR LOVERS
34 yo grad student seeking
gorgeous women to romp and
cavort with, or marry. I like
super smart, savvy, sarcastic,
sweet, strong, silly, sexy, spiri-
tual women! ☎ 5428
WILD-SIDE HUMOR
SWM 40 seeking female com-
panion 24-45 to hike, fish,
camp, movies, cooking, dinners
and explore the outdoors
together. Let’s bond in the out-
doors and see where life takes
us. ☎ 5453
OUTDOOR WOMEN
FOR YOUR MOUTH
SWM mid 40s seeking female
companion 22-45 to explore
the outdoor together. Love the
movies, cooking, dinners. Let’s
bond in the outdoors and see
where life takes us. ☎ 5452
Open Wide and let me inside.
I’m ready for you. Show up at
Neighbors any Tuesday
between 7-9 for free oral swab
HIV Testing. 342-5088 for more
information.
A GOOD WOMAN
TWO MEN SEEK MAN
Handsome, single, foreign
decent, 52, 5’7”. Funny, own
business, needs one good
woman, 40-50. Looks not
important. Good heart for inti-
macy, possible LTR. Discretion
required. ☎ 5447
Two very good looking guys, 37
and 27, white, looking for a very
good looking guy under 35 for
ongoing sexual encounters. Be
straight acting, masculine, be
top or versatile. Corvallis. ☎
5492