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About Eugene weekly. (Eugene, Oregon) 1993-current | View Entire Issue (July 31, 2003)
Classifieds Page 28 Page 31 Free ATTENTION: Readers who respond to mail order/phone ads appearing in these classifieds do so at their own risk. Eugene Weekly assumes no liability. If in doubt about a particular offer, check with the Better Business Bureau or US Postal Service before sending any money. BE ON VH1! Have you shared an amazing experience with a rock star? Rated X or PG? Email your story to ANightWith@camera- planet.com or call 1-800-668- 9376 x 252. (AAN CAN) PENIS ENLARGEMENT pill. 100% herbal, gain 1”-3” guaran- teed. Totally confidential. Only $62.90. Ck/MO/Cash/Cards - Lansing Laboratories. 422 Elmwood #2, Lansing, MI 48917. 800-369-4699, 24 hrs. www.androenlarge.com SEE THIS AD! If you are reading this, you know a line ad in Eugene Weekly classifieds gets noticed. $2/Line, 4 line minimum. We also offer line ads with logos for $24/inch. Call 484-0519. KITTEN: VERY friendly, pure black, cute, ragdoll mix. Gail, 344- 2926. Lost & Found HELP US find our dog!! ‘Jock’, missing since 7/26. 20th and Jefferson, Amazon Creek bike path near Albertson’s. Blue collar, tags, leash. Kelli, 1-800-777-6636, 687-5824, or return to 1979 Jefferson St. Opportunities EARN $50 for a telephone inter- view. If you are female with Functional Dyspepsia or Dyspepsia Symptoms, call 1-800- 550-8907 for more information. (AAN CAN) Pets ANIMAL LOVERS Needed! Amazing rescued cats need great homes. Kittens, one year olds, senior. Some shots, some fixed. Donation required. 746-0169. Page 29 Page 33 PSYCHIC, HOLISTIC HEALTH CRAFTS FAIR. 7th Annual, 50 exhibitors, August 2, 3. 10am. $3. Practitioners, Products, Readers, Crystals, Jewelry, Authors, Books, Crafts, Seminars. Inside Yachats Commons. 541-547-4664. Announcements Page 29 Help Wanted PUBLIC HEALTH PROGRAM ASSISTANT WANTED! Lane County Public Health seeks a full- time, Public Health Program Assistant for a one year AmeriCorps term, beginning September 2003. The Program Assistant will work in immuniza- tion clinic, Prenatal and Family Planning programs and conduct outreach. QUALIFICATIONS: Completion of at least two years college education. Interest in public health and working with diverse, low-income clientele. Ability to work independently. Strong organizational skills, prob- lem solving abilities and good computer skills. BENEFITS: Through AmeriCorps service with the Oregon State Service Corps program, members will receive a living allowance, health care cov- erage, and an educational award of $4,725 upon completion the service year. TO APPLY: Contact Katie Saunder, Lane County Public Health, 541-682-4440. INSIDE SALES position wanted for local hemp company. Computer literate a must. Knowledge of ACT, Excel, Word, a plus. Must have good telephone voice. Natural product experience helpful. Please send resumes to Merry Hempsters, Inc. PO Box 1301, Eugene OR 97440 STYLIST LEASE. Imagine lov- ing your job. Imagine a team-ori- ented work environment. Clientele, cutting-edge style and color expertise a must. Bring resume to 1745 W. 18th, Eugene. 431-1717. GOT GAME? Get into the action with Nokia N-Gage. We will pay outgoing, responsible, gadget minded people to play and demonstrate video games and products. Check out www.n-gage- special-forces.com. (AAN CAN) RESIST THE Corporate Agenda. New union organizers wanted. Positions available nationally. Will train. Long hours, travel. Humor helpful. Apply on line at www.seiujobs.org (AAN CAN) TEACHERS NEEDED for year- round wilderness camps. Excellent salary/benefits. Must enjoy being outdoors and helping at-risk youth. State certification or certificate eligibility required. Information/apply on-line at www.eckerd.org. Mail resume to Selection Specialist/AN, Eckerd Youth Alternatives, P.O. Box 7450, Clearwater, FL 33765. EOE. (AAN CAN) LEAD SINGER and Drummer Wanted for The US Army’s Premier Touring Show Band. The Volunteers. $37,589-39,833. Full Army Benefits. See: www.army.mil/fieldband. Call 301-677-5349 (AAN CAN) DARING, PROGRESSIVE 6- year-old Eugene production co. seeking 10 actresses and 3 actors for risque sci-fi, horror and genre. Short film and still work. Must be bold and willing to push the enve- lope. $300+/day. Toll free, 888- 749-7297, 24 hours. POSTAL JOBS, $9.15 - $14.26 + benefits. No exp. For applica- tion and exam info call 1-800-514- 1744 ext. 6112, 9am-9pm - 7 days. EXPOSE YOURSELF!!With one phone call, you can be exposed in more than 100 newspapers just like this one and reach up to 15 million young, active, educated readers! Contact Jennifer D’Angelo at 541-484-0519 or go to www.aancan.com for more information. (AAN CAN) EARN EXTRA CASH! Up to $500 per session. Eugene Amateur filmmaker, five years published, looking for female models 18-40, and couples. Send photo and contact phone number to: Video Productions, P.O. Box 40545, Eugene, OR 97404. email: videopro5000@msn.com. 541- 688-1488 (Female Callers Only) CARETAKER, HANDYPER- SON to live on 11 organic acres 15 min. south of Eugene and do grounds, building maintenance. Work exchange for rent and pos- sible hourly. 16 hours per week. No smoking or dogs. References. 342-5027. Career Training CAREER POSITIONS. $12- $48/hr. Full benefits, Paid Training on homeland security, law enforcement, clerical, administra- tive and more. Call 7 day/wk. 1- 800-320-9353 ext. 2517. (AAN CAN) DATA ENTRY. Work from home. Flexible hours! Great pay! Computer required. 1-800-382- 4282, x#8. (AAN CAN) MOVIE EXTRAS: $200- $600/day. All looks needed. No exp. required. TV, music videos, film, print. Call extras on call at 800-260-3949 X. 3025. (AAN CAN) $$ BARTEND $$ Up to $300 per shift. Great pay, flexible hours. No experience required. Call 800- 806-0083, ext. 203. (AAN CAN) Business Opportunities METROPOLITAN MORTGAGE and Securities Co., Inc. buying seller-financed mortgages through brokers since 1953. To broker a note, call 800-268-9184. Visit us online at www.metrobuys- notes.com. (AAN CAN) t a l e n t s e a r c h www.videohog.netfirms.com ROB BREZSNY’S A $250K+ 1st year income opportunity. Home-based and not MLM!Call 1-877-347-3745, 24 hrs. 1000 X’s More powerful than MLM! (AAN CAN) $250-$500 a week. Will train to work at home. Helping the US government file HUD/FHA mort- gage refunds. No experience nec- essary. Call 1-800-778-0353. ATTENTION, WORK FROM HOME. $300-$1,500 Part-time, $2,000-$5,000 Full-time. Local training, support. 744-2432 or workathome-bw.com FREE 2-ROOM DirecTV System including installation! 2 months free programming. Access 225+ TV channels! Digital quality picture and sound. Limited time offer. 1-800-877-1251. (AAN CAN) FREE 3-ROOM DIRECTV SYS- TEM INCLUDING INSTALLATION! Subscribe to “NFL-Sunday Ticket”, get 4 months FREE pro- gramming. Access 225+ TV Channels. Digital quality pic- ture/sound. Limited time offer. 1- 800-877-1251. (AAN CAN) SAILBOAT. CAPRI cyclone. 13’, 1-2 person, fast, fun, ready to sail, trailer. $650. 744-1716. Musical Hot Tubs/Pools SPA SACRIFICE. 7-Person Loaded Includes Steps. $2999, never used. Includes custom cover. Will deliver. Full Warranty. Was $5999. In a Hurry. Call 888- 397-3529. (AAN CAN) Misc. MIDWIFERY BIRTHING equip- ment. Complete set-up including medasonics doppler, fetuscope, mother-baby masks. Everything you need!!! $800 OBO. 434-6698. VINTAGE AMP Plush 405 tube amplifier, great sound. $400. Peavy Butcher tube amp, $250. Celestion 4x12 guitar speaker cabinet, $300. 710-0938. Treasure Hunt FOR SALE nice dresser with nightstand, $100. Floor lamps, espresso coffeemaker etc. Steel art pedestals, $20. 683-7904. WHIRLPOOL SET. Washer and dryer. Works great. $125/both. Call Josh, 341-1795. $2/LINE, 4 LINE MIN. is the economical cost for line ads in Eugene Weekly classifieds. Contact us at 484-0519. EARN EXTRA CASH! WITHOUT WORKING P r o d u c t i o n s Page 34 Page 34 MAKE MONEY WITH YOUR COMPUTER V i d e o h o g Page 31 Up to $500 per session. Eugene Amateur filmmaker, five years published, looking for female models 18-40, and couples. Send photo & contact phone number to: A local software company needs to test its software on a variety of computers. We will pay $25 an hour (with a $25 minimum) to let our technician use your computer(s). The test will probably take less than an hour, and we will leave your system as we found it. Requirements: Internet connectivity; Windows 98/2000/XP or Mac OS X; 64 MB of RAM or more; 266Mhz or higher processor. Video Productions P.O. Box 40545 • Eugene, OR 97404 email: videopro5000@msn.com 541-688-1488 Email: config_test@lunarlogic.com (female callers only) FREE WILL ASTROLOGY Week of July 31 ARIES (March 21-April 19): This horoscope is a collaboration between me and Rumi, a Sufi poet who died 730 years ago. “All disquiet springs from a search for quiet,” Rumi would like you to know. “And so the best way to culti- vate inner peace,” I add, “is to learn to love the way every- thing keeps changing.” Rumi continues: “All illnesses spring from scavenging for delicacies.” I conclude: “So pluck the simple, inexpensive riches that are right in front of you.” TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A long-distance runner I know prepares for his competitions in a way that seems counterintuitive. For his next race, a 38-mile marathon in August, he has been running five miles a day four times a week. He will never actually practice a 38-mile jaunt in one stretch. This approach has never failed him in preparing for previous races. Like him, Taurus, you will soon be called on to pull off a marathon version of a task you’ve been doing on a smaller scale. By my astrological reckoning, you’ll have all the stamina and savvy you need to succeed. its victims to become giddy and levitate off the ground. Even if you’re a Muggle, I predict you will have an experience that resembles a billywig bite in the coming week. An annoying prick will lead to a pleasant floating sensation. make similar designations for your own personal empire. What is your official cookie, neckwear, mushroom, artifact, and question? Don’t stop there. Add at least 20 more cate- gories. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The force of gravity can’t be (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In a study of modern democracy, a British political scientist has concluded that lying is necessary and justifiable. “Politics should be regarded as less like an exercise in producing truthful state- ments and more like a poker game,” said Glen Newey. “And there is an expectation by a poker player that you try to deceive them as part of the game.” Personally, I find this atti- tude distasteful. My policy is to never be dishonest if I can help it. But then I have the luxury to live like that. As a self- employed poet, I don’t have to hash out compromises with ideological adversaries or hang out in moral gray areas in order to serve a greater good. But your path may be differ- ent, Scorpio. In August, you might have to lie a little as you fight for a noble cause. seen, heard, or touched, and almost no one can explain it. There wasn’t even a word for it until the seventeenth century, when Isaac Newton identified it and gave it a name, borrow- ing the Latin term gravitas, meaning “heaviness” or “serious- ness.” I predict that you’ll enjoy a similar breakthrough in the next month, Leo. You will finally recognize an essential energy or power or beauty that has forever been a secret to you, even though it has always been all around you. VIRGO (May 21-June 20): Decide what mental pictures you’re sick and tired of looking at, then banish them from the sacred temple of your imagination. Next, browse the fertile depths of your subconscious mind, searching for excit- ing new mental pictures that you want to install in your awareness full time. For instance, you might want to exorcise a certain fearful scenario that pops up whenever you’re under stress, and replace it with a bright, shiny vision of you at the top of your game. (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Largely because of humans, animal and plant species are dying off at a record rate. The earth is in the midst of the greatest mass extinction since the disappearance of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago. If the trend continues, a quarter of the mammals will be gone in 30 years, and half of all species will be exterminated by 2100. Most people aren’t consciously aware of the ongoing annihilation, yet we all feel it in our bones and know it in our souls. As a result, we carry a huge load of unacknowledged grief. If you wonder why you sometimes feel down or anxious even though your life is going well, this secret tragedy may be the cause. Now is an excellent time to tune in to the sadness, Virgo, and recognize that it’s not caused by your personal fail- ure. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Many fantastic LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The legislatures of most GEMINI beasts that are known to Harry Potter and his fellow wizards are invisible to Muggles, the ordinary people. They include the yeti, also know as bigfoot; the clabbert, a tree-dwelling ani- mal that’s a cross between a monkey and a frog; and the phoenix, a bird that periodically bursts into flames, dies, then resurrects itself from its ashes. But my favorite magical crea- ture is the billywig, a mosquito-like insect whose sting causes American states have devoted a lot of time to choosing their power symbols. Pennsylvania, for instance, has made the chocolate chip cookie its Official State Cookie. The bola tie is the Official State Neckwear of Arizona; the morel is the Official State Mushroom of Minnesota; the Tule duck decoy is the Official Artifact of Nevada; and “Red or green?” is the official state question of New Mexico. According to my astro- logical analysis, Libra, you’re in a phase when you should You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE: 1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per minute • Touchtone phone 18 & over • c/s 612-373-9785 SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I’ve tried a wide variety of meditative practices from many tradi- tions. I’ve calmed myself through rhythmic breathing; watched bemusedly as the nonstop cavalcade of images paraded across my mind; visualized sacred mandalas and cul- tivated unconditional love; taken rigorous inventories to determine whether the integrity of my actions matches my high ideals. And that’s just a few. But in 25 years, I’ve never heard of a meditation that asks me to go into a public place, take my attention completely off myself, and observe people with precise and compassionate objectivity. Luckily, you’re in a perfect phase to pioneer this radical new mode. It’ll energize you enormously. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My friend Jane Heaven is an uncanny catalyst. Good things hap- pen for me when she’s around; interesting connections and fun challenges pop up. Why? It has to do with her curiosity and willingness to try new things. One night on her radio talk show on KPFA, she goaded me and five other guests not to speak but rather to sing everything we wanted to communi- cate. For the next two hours we improvised a cappella melodies and rhythms as we carried on our meandering dis- course. I came away inspired to write two new songs, which I produced the next day. Now listen to this, Capricorn: Your own personal equivalent of Jane Heaven is either already in your life, waiting for you to ask for more direct help, or else is hovering close by, ready to be summoned. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): On a Star Trek rerun, a female starship captain 370 years in the future was considering a love affair with a nineteenth-century Irish bartender — or rather a hologram of the bartender in a real- istic holographic recreation of an Irish village. Though she felt an attraction, she wished several things about the man were different. Since she literally had the power to reprogram him, she did, creating an even more desirable character. But after their fling she felt remorse and sought advice from the ship’s non-human doctor. “I’ve noticed you humans often try to change those you fall in love with,” the doc noted. “Why is that?” Let this serve as a teaching story for you, Aquarius. You may feel like redesigning people you love in the coming weeks, but I suggest you change yourself instead. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Songbirds are dis- appearing all over the world, in part due to deforestation. If current trends continue, the tunes of Yellow-throated Warblers and Red-eyed Vireos, along with many others, will be gone forever. Meanwhile, crows, starlings, and blue jays are enjoying a population explosion. You’ll be hearing a lot more of their shrieks in the coming years. While you may not be able to do anything to prevent this, Pisces, being aware of it could help you avoid an analogous development in your per- sonal life. In August, encourage your inner bird — the part of you that loves to take flight — to be melodious rather than shrill. Homework: Compose an exciting prayer in which you ask for something you’re not “supposed” to. www.freewillastrology.com JULY 31, 2003 29
