Classifieds
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Free
ATTENTION: Readers who
respond to mail order/phone ads
appearing in these classifieds do
so at their own risk. Eugene
Weekly assumes no liability. If in
doubt about a particular offer,
check with the Better Business
Bureau or US Postal Service
before sending any money.
BE ON VH1! Have you shared an
amazing experience with a rock
star? Rated X or PG? Email your
story to ANightWith@camera-
planet.com or call 1-800-668-
9376 x 252. (AAN CAN)
PENIS ENLARGEMENT pill.
100% herbal, gain 1”-3” guaran-
teed. Totally confidential. Only
$62.90. Ck/MO/Cash/Cards -
Lansing Laboratories. 422
Elmwood #2, Lansing, MI 48917.
800-369-4699,
24
hrs.
www.androenlarge.com
SEE THIS AD! If you are reading
this, you know a line ad in Eugene
Weekly classifieds gets noticed.
$2/Line, 4 line minimum. We also
offer line ads with logos for
$24/inch. Call 484-0519.
KITTEN: VERY friendly, pure
black, cute, ragdoll mix. Gail, 344-
2926.
Lost & Found
HELP US find our dog!! ‘Jock’,
missing since 7/26. 20th and
Jefferson, Amazon Creek bike
path near Albertson’s. Blue collar,
tags, leash. Kelli, 1-800-777-6636,
687-5824, or return to 1979
Jefferson St.
Opportunities
EARN $50 for a telephone inter-
view. If you are female with
Functional
Dyspepsia
or
Dyspepsia Symptoms, call 1-800-
550-8907 for more information.
(AAN CAN)
Pets
ANIMAL LOVERS Needed!
Amazing rescued cats need great
homes. Kittens, one year olds,
senior. Some shots, some fixed.
Donation required. 746-0169.
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PSYCHIC, HOLISTIC HEALTH
CRAFTS FAIR. 7th Annual, 50
exhibitors, August 2, 3. 10am. $3.
Practitioners, Products, Readers,
Crystals, Jewelry, Authors, Books,
Crafts, Seminars. Inside Yachats
Commons. 541-547-4664.
Announcements
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Help Wanted
PUBLIC HEALTH PROGRAM
ASSISTANT WANTED! Lane
County Public Health seeks a full-
time, Public Health Program
Assistant for a one year
AmeriCorps term, beginning
September 2003. The Program
Assistant will work in immuniza-
tion clinic, Prenatal and Family
Planning programs and conduct
outreach.
QUALIFICATIONS:
Completion of at least two years
college education. Interest in
public health and working with
diverse, low-income clientele.
Ability to work independently.
Strong organizational skills, prob-
lem solving abilities and good
computer skills. BENEFITS:
Through AmeriCorps service with
the Oregon State Service Corps
program, members will receive a
living allowance, health care cov-
erage, and an educational award
of $4,725 upon completion the
service year. TO APPLY: Contact
Katie Saunder, Lane County Public
Health, 541-682-4440.
INSIDE SALES position wanted
for local hemp company.
Computer literate a must.
Knowledge of ACT, Excel, Word, a
plus. Must have good telephone
voice. Natural product experience
helpful. Please send resumes to
Merry Hempsters, Inc. PO Box
1301, Eugene OR 97440
STYLIST LEASE. Imagine lov-
ing your job. Imagine a team-ori-
ented work environment.
Clientele, cutting-edge style and
color expertise a must. Bring
resume to 1745 W. 18th, Eugene.
431-1717.
GOT GAME? Get into the action
with Nokia N-Gage. We will pay
outgoing, responsible, gadget
minded people to play and
demonstrate video games and
products. Check out www.n-gage-
special-forces.com. (AAN CAN)
RESIST THE Corporate Agenda.
New union organizers wanted.
Positions available nationally. Will
train. Long hours, travel. Humor
helpful. Apply on line at
www.seiujobs.org (AAN CAN)
TEACHERS NEEDED for year-
round wilderness camps.
Excellent salary/benefits. Must
enjoy being outdoors and helping
at-risk youth. State certification
or certificate eligibility required.
Information/apply on-line at
www.eckerd.org. Mail resume to
Selection Specialist/AN, Eckerd
Youth Alternatives, P.O. Box 7450,
Clearwater, FL 33765. EOE. (AAN
CAN)
LEAD SINGER and Drummer
Wanted for The US Army’s
Premier Touring Show Band. The
Volunteers. $37,589-39,833. Full
Army
Benefits.
See:
www.army.mil/fieldband. Call
301-677-5349 (AAN CAN)
DARING, PROGRESSIVE 6-
year-old Eugene production co.
seeking 10 actresses and 3 actors
for risque sci-fi, horror and genre.
Short film and still work. Must be
bold and willing to push the enve-
lope. $300+/day. Toll free, 888-
749-7297, 24 hours.
POSTAL JOBS, $9.15 - $14.26
+ benefits. No exp. For applica-
tion and exam info call 1-800-514-
1744 ext. 6112, 9am-9pm - 7 days.
EXPOSE YOURSELF!!With one
phone call, you can be exposed in
more than 100 newspapers just
like this one and reach up to 15
million young, active, educated
readers! Contact Jennifer
D’Angelo at 541-484-0519 or go
to www.aancan.com for more
information. (AAN CAN)
EARN EXTRA CASH! Up to
$500 per session. Eugene
Amateur filmmaker, five years
published, looking for female
models 18-40, and couples. Send
photo and contact phone number
to: Video Productions, P.O. Box
40545, Eugene, OR 97404. email:
videopro5000@msn.com. 541-
688-1488 (Female Callers Only)
CARETAKER, HANDYPER-
SON to live on 11 organic acres
15 min. south of Eugene and do
grounds, building maintenance.
Work exchange for rent and pos-
sible hourly. 16 hours per week.
No smoking or dogs. References.
342-5027.
Career Training
CAREER POSITIONS. $12-
$48/hr. Full benefits, Paid Training
on homeland security, law
enforcement, clerical, administra-
tive and more. Call 7 day/wk. 1-
800-320-9353 ext. 2517. (AAN
CAN)
DATA ENTRY. Work from home.
Flexible hours! Great pay!
Computer required. 1-800-382-
4282, x#8. (AAN CAN)
MOVIE
EXTRAS: $200-
$600/day. All looks needed. No
exp. required. TV, music videos,
film, print. Call extras on call at
800-260-3949 X. 3025. (AAN CAN)
$$ BARTEND $$ Up to $300
per shift. Great pay, flexible hours.
No experience required. Call 800-
806-0083, ext. 203. (AAN CAN)
Business
Opportunities
METROPOLITAN MORTGAGE
and Securities Co., Inc. buying
seller-financed
mortgages
through brokers since 1953. To
broker a note, call 800-268-9184.
Visit us online at www.metrobuys-
notes.com. (AAN CAN)
t a l e n t s e a r c h
www.videohog.netfirms.com
ROB BREZSNY’S
A $250K+ 1st year income
opportunity. Home-based and not
MLM!Call 1-877-347-3745, 24 hrs.
1000 X’s More powerful than
MLM! (AAN CAN)
$250-$500 a week. Will train to
work at home. Helping the US
government file HUD/FHA mort-
gage refunds. No experience nec-
essary. Call 1-800-778-0353.
ATTENTION, WORK FROM
HOME. $300-$1,500 Part-time,
$2,000-$5,000 Full-time. Local
training, support. 744-2432 or
workathome-bw.com
FREE 2-ROOM DirecTV
System including installation! 2
months free programming.
Access 225+ TV channels! Digital
quality picture and sound. Limited
time offer. 1-800-877-1251. (AAN
CAN)
FREE 3-ROOM DIRECTV SYS-
TEM INCLUDING INSTALLATION!
Subscribe to “NFL-Sunday
Ticket”, get 4 months FREE pro-
gramming. Access 225+ TV
Channels. Digital quality pic-
ture/sound. Limited time offer. 1-
800-877-1251. (AAN CAN)
SAILBOAT. CAPRI cyclone. 13’,
1-2 person, fast, fun, ready to sail,
trailer. $650. 744-1716.
Musical
Hot Tubs/Pools
SPA SACRIFICE. 7-Person
Loaded Includes Steps. $2999,
never used. Includes custom
cover. Will deliver. Full Warranty.
Was $5999. In a Hurry. Call 888-
397-3529. (AAN CAN)
Misc.
MIDWIFERY BIRTHING equip-
ment. Complete set-up including
medasonics doppler, fetuscope,
mother-baby masks. Everything
you need!!! $800 OBO. 434-6698.
VINTAGE AMP Plush 405 tube
amplifier, great sound. $400.
Peavy Butcher tube amp, $250.
Celestion 4x12 guitar speaker
cabinet, $300. 710-0938.
Treasure Hunt
FOR SALE nice dresser with
nightstand, $100. Floor lamps,
espresso coffeemaker etc. Steel
art pedestals, $20. 683-7904.
WHIRLPOOL SET. Washer and
dryer. Works great. $125/both.
Call Josh, 341-1795.
$2/LINE, 4 LINE MIN. is the
economical cost for line ads in
Eugene Weekly classifieds.
Contact us at 484-0519.
EARN EXTRA CASH!
WITHOUT WORKING
P r o d u c t i o n s
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MAKE MONEY WITH YOUR COMPUTER
V i d e o h o g
Page 31
Up to $500 per session.
Eugene Amateur filmmaker, five years
published, looking for female models
18-40, and couples. Send photo &
contact phone number to:
A local software company needs to test its software on a variety
of computers. We will pay $25 an hour (with a $25 minimum) to
let our technician use your computer(s). The test will probably
take less than an hour, and we will leave your system as we found
it. Requirements: Internet connectivity; Windows 98/2000/XP or
Mac OS X; 64 MB of RAM or more; 266Mhz or higher processor.
Video Productions
P.O. Box 40545 • Eugene, OR 97404
email: videopro5000@msn.com
541-688-1488
Email: config_test@lunarlogic.com
(female callers only)
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY Week of July 31
ARIES (March 21-April 19): This horoscope is a
collaboration between me and Rumi, a Sufi poet who died 730
years ago. “All disquiet springs from a search for quiet,”
Rumi would like you to know. “And so the best way to culti-
vate inner peace,” I add, “is to learn to love the way every-
thing keeps changing.” Rumi continues: “All illnesses spring
from scavenging for delicacies.” I conclude: “So pluck the
simple, inexpensive riches that are right in front of you.”
TAURUS
(April 20-May 20): A long-distance
runner I know prepares for his competitions in a way that
seems counterintuitive. For his next race, a 38-mile marathon
in August, he has been running five miles a day four times a
week. He will never actually practice a 38-mile jaunt in one
stretch. This approach has never failed him in preparing for
previous races. Like him, Taurus, you will soon be called on to
pull off a marathon version of a task you’ve been doing on a
smaller scale. By my astrological reckoning, you’ll have all the
stamina and savvy you need to succeed.
its victims to become giddy and levitate off the ground. Even if
you’re a Muggle, I predict you will have an experience that
resembles a billywig bite in the coming week. An annoying
prick will lead to a pleasant floating sensation.
make similar designations for your own personal empire.
What is your official cookie, neckwear, mushroom, artifact,
and question? Don’t stop there. Add at least 20 more cate-
gories.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The force of gravity can’t be
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In a study of
modern democracy, a British political scientist has concluded
that lying is necessary and justifiable. “Politics should be
regarded as less like an exercise in producing truthful state-
ments and more like a poker game,” said Glen Newey. “And
there is an expectation by a poker player that you try to
deceive them as part of the game.” Personally, I find this atti-
tude distasteful. My policy is to never be dishonest if I can
help it. But then I have the luxury to live like that. As a self-
employed poet, I don’t have to hash out compromises with
ideological adversaries or hang out in moral gray areas in
order to serve a greater good. But your path may be differ-
ent, Scorpio. In August, you might have to lie a little as you
fight for a noble cause.
seen, heard, or touched, and almost no one can explain it.
There wasn’t even a word for it until the seventeenth century,
when Isaac Newton identified it and gave it a name, borrow-
ing the Latin term gravitas, meaning “heaviness” or “serious-
ness.” I predict that you’ll enjoy a similar breakthrough in the
next month, Leo. You will finally recognize an essential energy
or power or beauty that has forever been a secret to you,
even though it has always been all around you.
VIRGO
(May 21-June 20): Decide what mental
pictures you’re sick and tired of looking at, then banish them
from the sacred temple of your imagination. Next, browse the
fertile depths of your subconscious mind, searching for excit-
ing new mental pictures that you want to install in your
awareness full time. For instance, you might want to exorcise
a certain fearful scenario that pops up whenever you’re under
stress, and replace it with a bright, shiny vision of you at the
top of your game.
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Largely because of
humans, animal and plant species are dying off at a record
rate. The earth is in the midst of the greatest mass extinction
since the disappearance of the dinosaurs 65 million years
ago. If the trend continues, a quarter of the mammals will be
gone in 30 years, and half of all species will be exterminated
by 2100. Most people aren’t consciously aware of the ongoing
annihilation, yet we all feel it in our bones and know it in our
souls. As a result, we carry a huge load of unacknowledged
grief. If you wonder why you sometimes feel down or anxious
even though your life is going well, this secret tragedy may be
the cause. Now is an excellent time to tune in to the sadness,
Virgo, and recognize that it’s not caused by your personal fail-
ure.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Many fantastic
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The legislatures of most
GEMINI
beasts that are known to Harry Potter and his fellow wizards
are invisible to Muggles, the ordinary people. They include the
yeti, also know as bigfoot; the clabbert, a tree-dwelling ani-
mal that’s a cross between a monkey and a frog; and the
phoenix, a bird that periodically bursts into flames, dies, then
resurrects itself from its ashes. But my favorite magical crea-
ture is the billywig, a mosquito-like insect whose sting causes
American states have devoted a lot of time to choosing their
power symbols. Pennsylvania, for instance, has made the
chocolate chip cookie its Official State Cookie. The bola tie is
the Official State Neckwear of Arizona; the morel is the
Official State Mushroom of Minnesota; the Tule duck decoy is
the Official Artifact of Nevada; and “Red or green?” is the
official state question of New Mexico. According to my astro-
logical analysis, Libra, you’re in a phase when you should
You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE:
1-900-950-7700 • $1.99 per minute • Touchtone phone 18 & over • c/s 612-373-9785
SCORPIO
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I’ve
tried a wide variety of meditative practices from many tradi-
tions. I’ve calmed myself through rhythmic breathing;
watched bemusedly as the nonstop cavalcade of images
paraded across my mind; visualized sacred mandalas and cul-
tivated unconditional love; taken rigorous inventories to
determine whether the integrity of my actions matches my
high ideals. And that’s just a few. But in 25 years, I’ve never
heard of a meditation that asks me to go into a public place,
take my attention completely off myself, and observe people
with precise and compassionate objectivity. Luckily, you’re in a
perfect phase to pioneer this radical new mode. It’ll energize
you enormously.
CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My
friend Jane Heaven is an uncanny catalyst. Good things hap-
pen for me when she’s around; interesting connections and
fun challenges pop up. Why? It has to do with her curiosity
and willingness to try new things. One night on her radio talk
show on KPFA, she goaded me and five other guests not to
speak but rather to sing everything we wanted to communi-
cate. For the next two hours we improvised a cappella
melodies and rhythms as we carried on our meandering dis-
course. I came away inspired to write two new songs, which
I produced the next day. Now listen to this, Capricorn: Your
own personal equivalent of Jane Heaven is either already in
your life, waiting for you to ask for more direct help, or else is
hovering close by, ready to be summoned.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): On a Star
Trek rerun, a female starship captain 370 years in the future
was considering a love affair with a nineteenth-century Irish
bartender — or rather a hologram of the bartender in a real-
istic holographic recreation of an Irish village. Though she felt
an attraction, she wished several things about the man were
different. Since she literally had the power to reprogram him,
she did, creating an even more desirable character. But after
their fling she felt remorse and sought advice from the ship’s
non-human doctor. “I’ve noticed you humans often try to
change those you fall in love with,” the doc noted. “Why is
that?” Let this serve as a teaching story for you, Aquarius.
You may feel like redesigning people you love in the coming
weeks, but I suggest you change yourself instead.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Songbirds are dis-
appearing all over the world, in part due to deforestation. If
current trends continue, the tunes of Yellow-throated
Warblers and Red-eyed Vireos, along with many others, will
be gone forever. Meanwhile, crows, starlings, and blue jays
are enjoying a population explosion. You’ll be hearing a lot
more of their shrieks in the coming years. While you may not
be able to do anything to prevent this, Pisces, being aware of
it could help you avoid an analogous development in your per-
sonal life. In August, encourage your inner bird — the part of
you that loves to take flight — to be melodious rather than
shrill.
Homework: Compose an exciting prayer in which you ask for
something you’re not “supposed” to.
www.freewillastrology.com
JULY 31, 2003 29