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About Street roots. (Portland, OR) 1998-current | View Entire Issue (April 1, 2011)
Street roots 14 April 1, 2011 Ask the editor: A once-a-year opportunity to speak to ME! A big mmmwah from ME, the Managing Editor, to all of my readers out there in readerland. Thanks for writing in! Dear editor: I picked up your newspaper last week and was quite disappointed. You claim to want to help the homeless, yet, unlike every other newspaper in town, you fail to even dedicate an inch of space to a crossword puzzle. I’m told, because I don’t usually bother to read your fish wrap, that you used to have a crossword puzzle, and even Sudoku, in your paper, but decided to remove it. Is the new editorial stance to punish people who want to support people experiencing homelessness? 4 ?^-PETE Managing Editor: New? D ear editor: I just moved into my condo in inner Northwest and feel unable to communicate with the neighborhood’s former residents. Do I call them a transient, a homeless person, a houseless person, an unhoused individual, a person experiencing homelessness, a domestically challenged resident, a road warrior or a bum? -ROGER M.E.: Good question, Ryah. Any clues printed on the box they slept on last night? Dear editor: If I write something, will you print it? ¿H-SHIRLEY M.E.: Done and done, Shirl! We couldn’t do it without our contributors! Hundreds o f readers wrote in to call us out on our coverage o f the Pooch’n ’Hooch’s annual “Bike fo r Beer Brigade” massacre (Street Roots, Feb. 30) in particular, people took offense to the headline, the descriptions used in the article, the graphic photos accompanying the story, an d the bulletpoint identifiers fo r the body parts. M any questioned our integrity as journalists a n d our whereabouts that night. Others wanted to know about the Office Cat. Dear editor: I heard that Rooty, the adorable Street Roots Office Cat, had some potty problems. Is he OK? -R IC K M.E.: Kinda. Thanks Roy! (Look for news oh the “Bike for Beer Brigade” tragedy in the next edition.) Dear editor: After winning numerous awards for your journalism through the Society of Professional Journalists, your honors through the North American Street Newspaper Association, the Skidmore Prize, and your ever-rising prestige in the community, you’d think you’d be able to get a friggin’ crossword in the goddamn paper! -H A ZEL M.E.: You’d think! Thanks, Howard! Dear editor: You suck! -FRANK M.E.: I don’t see how that’s any of your business, Fred, , Thanks everyone, for writing in. Obviously we don’t have room för all of your questions, but we’d love to hear from you! Write to us at streetrootsnews@hotmail.com and as always, checks welcome! Mmmwahh! A conversation, kinda, with Mark Zuckerberg, public figure BY LOIS OLSEN-LEWIS Mark Zuckerberg: It’s true. 299,130 people have already reposted it. It became a statistical fact after 243,900. STAFF WRITER at can be said about Mark Zuckerberg that we don’t already know? Any viewer of The Social Network has formed Mark Zuckerberg: Maybe you. i th e ir own opinions, and "bhV’bnfe* which is ‘ ' everyone, who is on Facebook knows that the founder’s plans for the ubiquitous network can be both fun and downright annoying. So we started our conversation with the annoying. Lois Olsen-Lewis: Why do you constantly mess with the formats on Facebook, even though everyone hates it when you do that? Mark Zuckerberg: Hate is a strong word. “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - Victor Frankl don’t get it because, well, I I noticecT you have only 120 friends. That’s sad. L.O.L.: I have lots of friends! Besides, Street Roots has mofe than 2,500. Arid why are you posting multiple times for a simple answer? Mark Zuckerberg: In a world of distance between governments, families and even neighbors, Facebook makes my life more interesting, creative and productive. Facebook brings us together spontaneously and makes us a better community for the connection. If you agree with this statement, post this to your profile. L.O.L.: That’s just shameless self-promotion with a form posting. It doesn’t mean anything, and I don’t agree with i t Mark Zuckerberg changed his profile picture. L.O.L.: Again, M ark, you typed th a t You typed it to be printed in a newspaper that isn’t fucking FACEBOOK! It’s not automatic, but you’re fracking typing it to make it look like Facebook! Do you even read newspapers? L.O.L.: Scratch that, I don’t want to know. Mark Zuckerberg: It boosts it to top news. L.O.L.: This isn’t Facebook, Mark. This is a newspaper. Readers of newspapers don’t care about what other people are reading. HHH Mark Zuckerberg: Here’s a video that proves it: http:// |||||g g | whyreadersofnewspapers areoutoftouch/redux.php#@//, wahwahbar.=if. L.O.L.: Mark, no one can link to th a t This is a newspaper, not Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg: Lame. L.O.L.: Um, that’s just a random, inspirational quote you pulled off of the Internet, used to try to make you appear intellectual. How does that apply to Facebook? the clip here: http://www.nbc.com/ saturday-night-live/video/jesse-eisenberg- monologue/1279517/ Mark Zuckerberg has delivered a fortune cookie to you! Mark Zuckerberg just poked you! Do you want to poke him back? L.O.L.: Gross. And stop sending me these ridiculous fortune cookies. While we’re here, I don’t want to know which “Twilight” character you are, or what your name would be if you were an exotic dancer. This is all Facebook drivel! Is this really Mark Zuckerberg, public figure? Mark Zuckerberg: Of course - didn’t you see me on Saturday Night Live? You can check out L.O.L.: Why do you constantly creep up and try to get us to save our login settings, when we clearly don’t want tp? Mark Zuckerberg: This video says it all: http:// http:// ifyouwantmybodyandyouthinkim sexycomonbabylemme know/youtub/ralph.php#@// windowpane.=yum. L.O.L.: Seriously? You’re now trying to ’post a YouTube video? Don’t you get it? We’re a newspaper! We use words to convey what we mean - real words, complete words - in ' complete sentences! We don’t need videos! Mark Zuckerberg: Facebook knows what you need and what you want, how often you want it, and when you need i t Facebook makes my life more interesting, creative and productive. Facebook brings us together spontaneously and makes us a better community for the connection. If you agree with this statement, post this to your profile. L.O.L.: You suck. Mark Zuckerberg likes this. 4 A hew fortune cookie has been delivered to you! M issed y o u r favorite colum nist? 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