Street roots
14
April 1, 2011
Ask the editor: A once-a-year opportunity to speak to ME!
A big mmmwah from
ME, the Managing
Editor, to all of my
readers out there in
readerland. Thanks
for writing in!
Dear editor:
I picked up your newspaper last week and
was quite disappointed. You claim to want to
help the homeless, yet, unlike every other
newspaper in town, you fail to even dedicate
an inch of space to a crossword puzzle. I’m
told, because I don’t usually bother to read
your fish wrap, that you used to have a
crossword puzzle, and even Sudoku, in your
paper, but decided to remove it. Is the new
editorial stance to punish people who want
to support people experiencing
homelessness?
4 ?^-PETE
Managing Editor: New?
D ear editor:
I just moved into my condo in inner
Northwest and feel unable to communicate
with the neighborhood’s former residents.
Do I call them a transient, a homeless
person, a houseless person, an unhoused
individual, a person experiencing
homelessness, a domestically challenged
resident, a road warrior or a bum?
-ROGER
M.E.: Good question, Ryah. Any clues
printed on the box they slept on last night?
Dear editor:
If I write something, will you print it?
¿H-SHIRLEY
M.E.: Done and done, Shirl! We couldn’t
do it without our contributors!
Hundreds o f readers wrote in to call us out
on our coverage o f the Pooch’n ’Hooch’s annual
“Bike fo r Beer Brigade” massacre (Street
Roots, Feb. 30) in particular, people took
offense to the headline, the descriptions used in
the article, the graphic photos accompanying
the story, an d the bulletpoint identifiers fo r the
body parts. M any questioned our integrity as
journalists a n d our whereabouts that night.
Others wanted to know about the Office Cat.
Dear editor:
I heard that Rooty, the adorable Street
Roots Office Cat, had some potty problems.
Is he OK?
-R IC K
M.E.: Kinda. Thanks Roy! (Look for news
oh the “Bike for Beer Brigade” tragedy in
the next edition.)
Dear editor:
After winning numerous awards for your
journalism through the Society of
Professional Journalists, your honors
through the North American Street
Newspaper Association, the Skidmore Prize,
and your ever-rising prestige in the
community, you’d think you’d be able to get
a friggin’ crossword in the goddamn paper!
-H A ZEL
M.E.: You’d think! Thanks, Howard!
Dear editor:
You suck!
-FRANK
M.E.: I don’t see how that’s any of your
business, Fred, ,
Thanks everyone, for writing in.
Obviously we don’t have room för all of your
questions, but we’d love to hear from you!
Write to us at streetrootsnews@hotmail.com
and as always, checks welcome! Mmmwahh!
A conversation, kinda, with Mark Zuckerberg, public figure
BY LOIS OLSEN-LEWIS
Mark Zuckerberg: It’s true.
299,130 people have already
reposted it. It became a statistical
fact after 243,900.
STAFF WRITER
at can be said about Mark
Zuckerberg that we don’t already
know? Any viewer of The Social
Network has formed
Mark Zuckerberg: Maybe you.
i th e ir own opinions,
and "bhV’bnfe* which is ‘ '
everyone, who is on
Facebook knows that
the founder’s plans for
the ubiquitous
network can be both
fun and downright
annoying. So we
started our
conversation with the
annoying.
Lois Olsen-Lewis:
Why do you constantly
mess with the formats
on Facebook, even
though everyone
hates it when you do
that?
Mark Zuckerberg: Hate is a strong
word. “When we are no longer
able to change a situation, we are
challenged to change ourselves.” -
Victor Frankl
don’t get it because, well, I
I noticecT you have only 120
friends. That’s sad.
L.O.L.: I have lots of friends! Besides,
Street Roots has mofe than 2,500. Arid why
are you posting multiple times for a simple
answer?
Mark Zuckerberg: In a world of
distance between governments,
families and even neighbors,
Facebook makes my life more
interesting, creative and
productive. Facebook brings us together
spontaneously and makes us a better
community for the connection. If you agree
with this statement, post this to your
profile.
L.O.L.: That’s just shameless self-promotion
with a form posting. It doesn’t mean
anything, and I don’t agree with i t
Mark Zuckerberg changed his
profile picture.
L.O.L.: Again, M ark, you typed
th a t You typed it to be printed in
a newspaper that isn’t fucking FACEBOOK!
It’s not automatic, but you’re fracking typing
it to make it look like Facebook! Do you
even read newspapers?
L.O.L.: Scratch that, I don’t want to know.
Mark Zuckerberg: It boosts it to
top news.
L.O.L.: This isn’t Facebook, Mark. This is a
newspaper. Readers of newspapers don’t
care about what other people are reading.
HHH
Mark Zuckerberg: Here’s a video
that proves it: http://
|||||g g | whyreadersofnewspapers
areoutoftouch/redux.php#@//,
wahwahbar.=if.
L.O.L.: Mark, no one can link to th a t This
is a newspaper, not Facebook.
Mark Zuckerberg: Lame.
L.O.L.: Um, that’s just a random,
inspirational quote you pulled off of the
Internet, used to try to make you appear
intellectual. How does that apply to
Facebook?
the clip here: http://www.nbc.com/
saturday-night-live/video/jesse-eisenberg-
monologue/1279517/
Mark Zuckerberg has delivered a fortune
cookie to you!
Mark Zuckerberg just poked you! Do you
want to poke him back?
L.O.L.: Gross. And stop sending me these
ridiculous fortune cookies. While we’re
here, I don’t want to know which “Twilight”
character you are, or what your name would
be if you were an exotic dancer. This is all
Facebook drivel! Is this really Mark
Zuckerberg, public figure?
Mark Zuckerberg: Of course -
didn’t you see me on Saturday
Night Live? You can check out
L.O.L.: Why do you constantly creep up and
try to get us to save our login settings, when
we clearly don’t want tp?
Mark Zuckerberg: This video
says it all: http:// http://
ifyouwantmybodyandyouthinkim
sexycomonbabylemme
know/youtub/ralph.php#@//
windowpane.=yum.
L.O.L.: Seriously? You’re now trying to ’post
a YouTube video? Don’t you get it? We’re a
newspaper! We use words to convey what
we mean - real words, complete words - in '
complete sentences! We don’t need videos!
Mark Zuckerberg: Facebook
knows what you need and what
you want, how often you want it,
and when you need i t Facebook
makes my life more interesting,
creative and productive. Facebook brings us
together spontaneously and makes us a
better community for the connection. If you
agree with this statement, post this to your
profile.
L.O.L.: You suck.
Mark Zuckerberg likes this. 4
A hew fortune cookie has been
delivered to you!
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