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About Siletz news / (Siletz, OR) 199?-current | View Entire Issue (April 1, 2011)
Enrollment and Education Committees have vacancies N kJ AT T H E LVE R Deadline to apply is April 7 There currently is one vacancy on the Enrollment Committee and one vacancy on the Education Committee. Any Tribal member interested in serving on a com mittee for the remainder of the two-year term must fill out the following form and return it to the address below prior to April 7, 2011. Please mail or fax your application to Confederated Tribes of Siletz Indians, Attn: Executive Secretary to Tribal Council, P.O. Box 549, Siletz, OR 97380-0549; fax: 541-444-8325. A Gathering of Native American Businesses & Tribal Enterprises DATE: April 20-21, 2011 LOCATION: Spirit Mountain Casino Grand Ronde, OR Artist Credit Amanda Wnght (Klamath-Modoc-Yahooskin) Name:_______________________________________ Roll No:_____ "Circling Back and Going Forward Celebrating 20 years of Indianpreneurship®" Trading at the River, Acrylic on Canvas, 9*x1Z (November 2010) 2011 marks the 9th year of Trading at the River This is one is very special We will gather on the banks of the Yamhill River at Grand Ronde Oregon where ONABEN was born two decades ago Address:___________________________________________________________ We have much to celebrate about our past and much to talk about for our future Like the historic gathenngs that occurred here and in many places among the traders of this region. Trading at the River is a place where connections are made business-to-business. tribe-to-tribe, and from past to present City:_____________________________ State:_____________ ZIP:___________ The 9th annual Trading at the River conference will include: • Telephone: Day ( )___________________ Evening ( )____________________ • • Choose the first or second choice of committees you are requesting by number • ing your preference 1 or 2 in the space provided. If you only want to be considered for one committee, please indicate this by inserting the number 1. • • An intensive Business Development Conference with community discussions, workshops, symposiums, and celebrations A Trading at the River marketplace of ideas products, and services - the famous traditional gathering of Indianpreneurs A gathering of emerging and established Native CDFI's convened by the newly established Pacific Northwest Native Capital Development Peer Group which will explore ways of generating new forms of capital to support Native entrepeneurship and tribal-individual joint ventures The kick off for Innovations in Indianpreneurship!» 2012 - a biennial business plan competition and business showcase A Founders recognition luncheon that will highlight the last 20 years of tribal economic development A Business Alliance reception gathering the region's Native businesses and chambers of commerce Featured Speakers ____ Education Committee TRACY STANHOFF ____ Enrollment Committee CLARA PRATTE (invited) President & Creative Director, AD PRO Former Tribal Chair, Prairie Band Potawatomi Nation President, American Indian Chamber of Commerce of CA Tribal Council will review applications and approve appointments at its regular meeting in April. If you have any questions, please call Tami Miner, Tribal Council’s executive secretary, at 800-922-1399, ext. 1203, or 541-444-8203. National Director, Office of Native American Affairs US Small Business Administration www.onaben.org Celebrating 20 years of Indianpreneurship® April Notes from the Healthy Family Healthy Child Project By Mark Kimball, Project Manager This article and perhaps the next will look at how to maintain a satisfying relationship with your child, or people in general, by looking at how effective is your style of communication. Communication is not only putting your thoughts into words, it also includes your ability to listen - especially to your children. The skills discussed in this article also apply to your communication with all those around you. I was very surprised to leam, when I was in school, that communication is composed of four elements - words, voice tones, body language and listening skills. Actually, I can break the first three (words, voice tones and body language) down even further by telling you that communication, according to people much smarter than myself, is only 7 percent words, 38 percent voice tones and 55 percent body language. I scoffed the first time I was told this, but upon considering the subject, it made more and more sense to me. To make it easier for your children to communicate with you, your communica tion must convince them you care enough to listen to them. If we as parents were asked, “Do you talk with your child?’’ I am sure each of us would answer, “Of course, I talk to my child.” We must now ask ourselves, how much of this “talking to” consists of nagging, reminding, criticizing, cajoling, threatening, lecturing, questioning, advis ing, evaluating, probing and ridiculing those around us? 14 • Siletz News • These tactics, however well-meant, diminish rather than improve communica tion. They strain relationships. Imagine lecturing or criticizing your friends - and watching them flare up in anger or make excuses to leave for home. If most parents treated their children the way they treat their friends, relationships with the children would improve. Con versely, if they treated their friends the way they treat their children, their friend ships surely would deteriorate. Think of the ways you want most people to respond when you are upset. Sometimes you want to be left alone. At other times you want someone to listen and try to understand and accept your feel ings. Is it possible that your child needs the same consideration? Many of us have been taught that feelings of anger, disappointment and fear are wrong and should not be expressed. Consequently, many of us do not know how to handle these feelings when our children express them. In our awkward ness, we respond in terms of roles: • • April 2011 The Commander in Chief. The parent who plays this role is interested in keeping things well under control and demands that the child get rid of the negative feelings immediately and “shape up.” Orders, commands and threats are tools the Commander in Chief uses to keep the upper hand. The Moralist. The Moralist is a “shouldist” - “You should do this” and “You shouldn’t do that” is what this parent preaches. The Moralist is • • • • • very concerned that the child has the “proper” feelings. The Know-It-All. Parents who play this role try to show the child that adults have been traveling life’s road for a long time and have accumulated most of its answers. These parents lecture, advise, make appeals to the child’s reason and try to show how superior they themselves are. The Judge. This parent already has pronounced the child guilty without a trial. Judges are interested in proving they are always right and the child is always wrong. The Critic. Like the judge, The Mor alist and The Know-It-All, the parent playing this role is interested in being right. But The Critic relies on ridicule, name-calling, sarcasm or jokes to put the child down. The Psychologist. The Psycholo gist tries to analyze the problem. With the best intentions, this parent wants to hear all the details so he or she will be in a better position to set the child straight. The Psychologist diagnoses, analyzes and questions. The Consoler. Parents who play this role attempt to excuse themselves from involvement by treating the child's feelings lightly. Simple reas surance, a pat on the back and the pretense that all is well when it isn’t are this parent’s answer to a child's worries and anxieties. While we are strong in our criticism of these roles, we wish to emphasize that parents who play them do so not mali ciously, but with the best of intentions. The sort of communication we are aiming for is based upon mutual respect, which means children and parents allow each other to express their beliefs and feel ings honestly, without fear of rejection. It means accepting what the other person says. You may not agree with your chil dren, but you can demonstrate that you accept their feelings. You show accep tance through your tone of voice and the words you choose to use. Becoming an effective listener requires concentration. It involves estab lishing eye contact and a posture that says, “I’m listening.” Sometimes good listen ing requires us to be silent. Sometimes it requires us to respond. Listening to our children requires letting them know that we recognize the feelings behind what they are saying and what they are not saying. Reflective listening We know that a person who is upset tends to lose perspective. By listening reflectively, we can help a child think through an upsetting problem. That is, we can reflect and clarify the child’s feelings to help lay a foundation for the child to resolve the problem. An example of reflective listening might be: Child: That teacher is unfair! I’ll never do well in that class! See Notes, con’t on next page.
