Enrollment and Education
Committees have vacancies
N kJ AT T H E
LVE R
Deadline to apply is April 7
There currently is one vacancy on the Enrollment Committee and one vacancy
on the Education Committee. Any Tribal member interested in serving on a com
mittee for the remainder of the two-year term must fill out the following form and
return it to the address below prior to April 7, 2011.
Please mail or fax your application to Confederated Tribes of Siletz Indians,
Attn: Executive Secretary to Tribal Council, P.O. Box 549, Siletz, OR 97380-0549;
fax: 541-444-8325.
A Gathering of Native American
Businesses & Tribal Enterprises
DATE: April 20-21, 2011
LOCATION: Spirit Mountain Casino
Grand Ronde, OR
Artist Credit Amanda Wnght (Klamath-Modoc-Yahooskin)
Name:_______________________________________ Roll No:_____
"Circling Back and Going Forward
Celebrating 20 years of
Indianpreneurship®"
Trading at the River, Acrylic on Canvas, 9*x1Z (November 2010)
2011 marks the 9th year of Trading at the River This is one is very special We will gather on the banks of the Yamhill
River at Grand Ronde Oregon where ONABEN was born two decades ago
Address:___________________________________________________________
We have much to celebrate about our past and much to talk about for our future Like the historic gathenngs that
occurred here and in many places among the traders of this region. Trading at the River is a place where connections
are made business-to-business. tribe-to-tribe, and from past to present
City:_____________________________ State:_____________ ZIP:___________
The 9th annual Trading at the River conference will include:
•
Telephone: Day ( )___________________ Evening ( )____________________
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Choose the first or second choice of committees you are requesting by number
•
ing your preference 1 or 2 in the space provided. If you only want to be considered
for one committee, please indicate this by inserting the number 1.
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An intensive Business Development Conference with community discussions, workshops, symposiums, and
celebrations
A Trading at the River marketplace of ideas products, and services - the famous traditional gathering of
Indianpreneurs
A gathering of emerging and established Native CDFI's convened by the newly established Pacific
Northwest Native Capital Development Peer Group which will explore ways of generating new forms of capital to
support Native entrepeneurship and tribal-individual joint ventures
The kick off for Innovations in Indianpreneurship!» 2012 - a biennial business plan competition and business
showcase
A Founders recognition luncheon that will highlight the last 20 years of tribal economic development
A Business Alliance reception gathering the region's Native businesses and chambers of commerce
Featured Speakers
____ Education Committee
TRACY STANHOFF
____ Enrollment Committee
CLARA PRATTE (invited)
President & Creative Director, AD PRO
Former Tribal Chair, Prairie Band Potawatomi Nation
President, American Indian Chamber of Commerce of CA
Tribal Council will review applications and approve appointments at its regular
meeting in April. If you have any questions, please call Tami Miner, Tribal Council’s
executive secretary, at 800-922-1399, ext. 1203, or 541-444-8203.
National Director, Office of Native American Affairs
US Small Business Administration
www.onaben.org
Celebrating 20 years of Indianpreneurship®
April Notes from the Healthy Family Healthy Child Project
By Mark Kimball, Project Manager
This article and perhaps the next
will look at how to maintain a satisfying
relationship with your child, or people in
general, by looking at how effective is
your style of communication.
Communication is not only putting
your thoughts into words, it also includes
your ability to listen - especially to your
children. The skills discussed in this
article also apply to your communication
with all those around you.
I was very surprised to leam, when
I was in school, that communication is
composed of four elements - words, voice
tones, body language and listening skills.
Actually, I can break the first three (words,
voice tones and body language) down even
further by telling you that communication,
according to people much smarter than
myself, is only 7 percent words, 38 percent
voice tones and 55 percent body language.
I scoffed the first time I was told this,
but upon considering the subject, it made
more and more sense to me.
To make it easier for your children to
communicate with you, your communica
tion must convince them you care enough
to listen to them. If we as parents were
asked, “Do you talk with your child?’’
I am sure each of us would answer, “Of
course, I talk to my child.”
We must now ask ourselves, how
much of this “talking to” consists of
nagging, reminding, criticizing, cajoling,
threatening, lecturing, questioning, advis
ing, evaluating, probing and ridiculing
those around us?
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Siletz News
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These tactics, however well-meant,
diminish rather than improve communica
tion. They strain relationships.
Imagine lecturing or criticizing your
friends - and watching them flare up in
anger or make excuses to leave for home.
If most parents treated their children the
way they treat their friends, relationships
with the children would improve. Con
versely, if they treated their friends the
way they treat their children, their friend
ships surely would deteriorate.
Think of the ways you want most
people to respond when you are upset.
Sometimes you want to be left alone. At
other times you want someone to listen
and try to understand and accept your feel
ings. Is it possible that your child needs
the same consideration?
Many of us have been taught that
feelings of anger, disappointment and fear
are wrong and should not be expressed.
Consequently, many of us do not know
how to handle these feelings when our
children express them. In our awkward
ness, we respond in terms of roles:
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April 2011
The Commander in Chief. The
parent who plays this role is interested
in keeping things well under control
and demands that the child get rid
of the negative feelings immediately
and “shape up.” Orders, commands
and threats are tools the Commander
in Chief uses to keep the upper hand.
The Moralist. The Moralist is a
“shouldist” - “You should do this”
and “You shouldn’t do that” is what
this parent preaches. The Moralist is
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very concerned that the child has the
“proper” feelings.
The Know-It-All. Parents who play
this role try to show the child that
adults have been traveling life’s road
for a long time and have accumulated
most of its answers. These parents
lecture, advise, make appeals to the
child’s reason and try to show how
superior they themselves are.
The Judge. This parent already has
pronounced the child guilty without a
trial. Judges are interested in proving
they are always right and the child is
always wrong.
The Critic. Like the judge, The Mor
alist and The Know-It-All, the parent
playing this role is interested in being
right. But The Critic relies on ridicule,
name-calling, sarcasm or jokes to put
the child down.
The Psychologist. The Psycholo
gist tries to analyze the problem. With
the best intentions, this parent wants
to hear all the details so he or she will
be in a better position to set the child
straight. The Psychologist diagnoses,
analyzes and questions.
The Consoler. Parents who play
this role attempt to excuse themselves
from involvement by treating the
child's feelings lightly. Simple reas
surance, a pat on the back and the
pretense that all is well when it isn’t
are this parent’s answer to a child's
worries and anxieties.
While we are strong in our criticism
of these roles, we wish to emphasize that
parents who play them do so not mali
ciously, but with the best of intentions.
The sort of communication we are
aiming for is based upon mutual respect,
which means children and parents allow
each other to express their beliefs and feel
ings honestly, without fear of rejection. It
means accepting what the other person says.
You may not agree with your chil
dren, but you can demonstrate that you
accept their feelings. You show accep
tance through your tone of voice and the
words you choose to use.
Becoming an effective listener
requires concentration. It involves estab
lishing eye contact and a posture that says,
“I’m listening.” Sometimes good listen
ing requires us to be silent. Sometimes it
requires us to respond.
Listening to our children requires
letting them know that we recognize the
feelings behind what they are saying and
what they are not saying.
Reflective listening
We know that a person who is upset
tends to lose perspective. By listening
reflectively, we can help a child think
through an upsetting problem. That is,
we can reflect and clarify the child’s
feelings to help lay a foundation for the
child to resolve the problem. An example
of reflective listening might be:
Child: That teacher is unfair! I’ll
never do well in that class!
See Notes, con’t on next page.