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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (May 3, 2006)
^Clackamas Print Commentary 3 Wednesday, May 3, 2006 ebt runs up, clock runs dowrî David Stark Ife Clackamas Print On Jan. 1, 1791 the national ¡bt was $75 million. Today e government is adding that [ch to the debt every hour, ¡th so much deficit spending [ no surprise that experts [predicting that the United [tes’ national debt will pass [ $10 trillion mark by the d of 2007. When President George W. sh took office our nation’s btwas a little over $5.6 tril- n; since then budget surplus- have collapsed into massive Feits and the debt has risen [almost 50 percent. On Jan. 12004 the debt passed the [trillion dollar mark, and on 1.18, 2005 it passed $8 tril- n. Now keep in mind that took nearly five years for | debt to go from $5 to $6 Uion. I can still remember the Clinton administration and how everyone was predicting the elimination of the country’s debt within 10 years. Congress has had to recently raise the debt ceiling for the fourth time in less than five years. I don’t know about the rest of the nation, but I’d like for the economy to survive at least until my grandchildren are grown. At the rate things are going I wonder if things will last until I have kids. I’m not saying that I think the government should just stop doing things, I just think things should be prioritized a bit better. I mean, do we really need to add $200 billion to the budget every year? And if we really do, could schools and tax payers see some of that money? At the time of this arti cle, the national debt was $8,365,530,687,635.33. With a population of $298 mil lion that rounds out to about $28,072.25 per person. Recently the depths of America’s debt were high lighted by news out of New York that the National Debt Clock in Times Square is run ning out of room. The clock only spans 13 digits, which means that when - not if, sadly - the national debt reaches $10 tril lion, the clock will be unable to show the number. This is expected to happen within the next two years. Anyone can spout figures about our national debt, but usually all this accomplishes is to make everyone else’s eyes glaze over. But saying that the National Debt Clock will run out of room within two years ... well, that makes people sit up and take notice. The clock was replaced in 2004, in part to fix a happy discovery made in the 1990s - the clock can’t run backwards. This is obviously not a prob lem facing the clock today. The numbers in the lower plac es roll up so fast they seem to flicker and change at random. This is a situation that is going to get much worse before it gets better. tylish instructor advocates restroom repose for happy love life lames Bryant-Trerise Contributing Writer Women, don’t read this. There’s noth- [ in it for you. Skip to another section the sports, maybe. [OK men, I have a story which may lp you avoid considerable embarrass- ent. Plus, following my advice could iprove your love life.., My office is. on the second floor of |oF Hall. ^JSdh'seq'tieiiifly/ I visit the pi’s room there a lot. There I was one y, mindlessly zipping up as I backed ay from the urinal, when my hand ished something cold and wet on my its. Drops of liquid were splattered all [m my right pant leg, with a few on ’ left as well. I first checked to see if re was anyone else in the room; Lord [jws one wouldn’t want to investigate ything having to do with bodily func- ns while anyone could see you. [What happened? I really hoped that was splatter from the urinal flush, 11 the coldness of the water seemed to [roborate that theory. If it were water jm the flushing then it was just water: too bad, though the fact that it came im a urinal’s pipes was disconcert- But now that the liquid was on my nds, I decided I’d better confirm in an factory manner. And my worst fears Ire realized. Every reasonable man knows why didn’t notice this problem as it was opening. We never look down; who tots to see what’s there? We spend our le looking at the tile three inches from [faces and reading the cjever lines nned in on the grout between the tiles, togs like “why are you reading this” d “don’t take James for 122.” Why this splatter happened to me, have no idea. Perhaps some sort of ijectory analysis could be undertaken, aybe Steve Brown (physics instructor) bld vector in my individual angle of pose (we men are each of us unique, i snowflakes), the arc of the curve the porcelain and the pressure of my bam to determine the reason why this rticular urinal and I do not get along fhe Clackamas Print 119600 S. Molalla Ave. ¡Oregon City, OR 97045 (503) 657-6958 ex. 2309 The C lackamas Print is a weekly student publication and is |Qistributed every Wednesday except finals week. (Ah, what a thing it is to be educated!). And no, standing in a different place didn’t seem to help: I tried that the next time. So here’s the warning: on the second floor of Rook, if you have to pee, sit. Don’t stand at the urinal. Sure, it may not happen to you, but is it worth the risk? True, dropping the drawers and sitting take a little longer than whip ping down the zipper and firing away. But is it worth the risk? I had to scuttle surreptitiously back to my office and skedaddle on home. Of course, sitting is still problem atic. Some men out there - wait, let me rephrase that - some thoughtless, heartless, clueless bastards out there do not lift the seat ring when they stand to pee in the stall with the can. Let’s forget all that about brain size, skull thickness, sloping brow, or whatever: the real distinction between Neanderthal and modem man is whether or not he takes two seconds to lift the seat ring with his shoe before dropping his stream in the bucket. But a man really shouldn’t stand in the stall anyway. Here’s why, and here also is why sitting may improve a man’s love life. For reasons unknown to me, I have very rarely stood to pee when there’s a can to sit on. I don’t know why I got into this habit. Regardless, sitting on the can when peeing is better for a reason I wasn’t aware of until I started living with a woman. Much to my surprise, one day she thanks me for sitting to pee. “Most men don’t,” she said. I knew that, but I didn’t know why it mattered. She explained about the splat ter, but again, I knew that failing to lift the ring meant splatter problems. “Even with a lifted ring, there’s still splatter. It’s on the rim of the bowl, underneath it and on the floor around the toilet,” she went on. I grew up in a suburban family with a stay-at-home mom, who, sorry to say, never taught her three boys much about housekeeping. I didn’t clean a toilet bowl until I was in my mid-20s, and I didn’t do a very good job. So this explains why, at the age of 30, I was hearing a neat .freak woman (“what’s that, sweetie? Oh - OK”) - er, woman educating me about pee splatter stains. How’s this going to help with a man’s love life? Well, that woman (now my wife) actually told some of her friends about this issue - that I sit. They growled in envy at her good fortune in finding such a thoughtful man. E ditor - in -C hief : Ben Maras C opy E ditors : Katie Weinberg, E. E. A d A ssistant : Helen Conley S taff W riters : Derek Erickson, West Justin Goe, Elizabeth Hitz, Frank Jordan, Mike Kimberling, Megan Koler, Adam J. Manley Matthew Olson, Kyle Steele, David Stark, N. P. Delzell, Helen Conley N ews E ditor : Katie Wilson C ommentary E ditor : Laura Cameron F eature E ditor : C.J. Ciaramella S ports E ditor : Mike Guidice A&E E ditor : Tayo Stalnaker P hoto E ditor : Jeff Sorensen A d M anager : Sam Krause P roduction A ssistants : Adam J. Manley, Kim Maier, Elizabeth (Apparently, finding a man thoughtful enough to clean the toilet bowl himself was outside even the realm of imagina tion.) Now, I’ve been in Sue Mach’s office; I know that not all women are - um, concerned with cleanliness to the degree my wife is. But many are. The less splatter, the more they like you. Everything helps. James Bryant-Trerise is an English instructor at Clackamas Community College. Hitz, Chris Anderson, Scott Risvold P hotographers : Adam J. Manley, Lara Hedbor, Elizabeth Hitz, Matt Olson, N. P. Delzell D epartment A dvisor : Linda Vogt D epartment A ssistant : Chris Hennel G oals : The C lackamas Print aims to report the news in an honest, unbiased, professional manner. The opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the stu dent body, college administration, its faculty or The Print. E-mail comments to chiefed@dackamas. edu.
