^Clackamas Print
Commentary 3
Wednesday, May 3, 2006
ebt runs up, clock runs dowrî
David
Stark
Ife Clackamas Print
On Jan. 1, 1791 the national
¡bt was $75 million. Today
e government is adding that
[ch to the debt every hour,
¡th so much deficit spending
[ no surprise that experts
[predicting that the United
[tes’ national debt will pass
[ $10 trillion mark by the
d of 2007.
When President George W.
sh took office our nation’s
btwas a little over $5.6 tril-
n; since then budget surplus-
have collapsed into massive
Feits and the debt has risen
[almost 50 percent. On Jan.
12004 the debt passed the
[trillion dollar mark, and on
1.18, 2005 it passed $8 tril-
n. Now keep in mind that
took nearly five years for
| debt to go from $5 to $6
Uion.
I can still remember the
Clinton administration and
how everyone was predicting
the elimination of the country’s
debt within 10 years. Congress
has had to recently raise the
debt ceiling for the fourth time
in less than five years.
I don’t know about the rest
of the nation, but I’d like for
the economy to survive at least
until my grandchildren are
grown. At the rate things are
going I wonder if things will
last until I have kids.
I’m not saying that I think
the government should just
stop doing things, I just think
things should be prioritized a
bit better. I mean, do we really
need to add $200 billion to the
budget every year? And if we
really do, could schools and
tax payers see some of that
money?
At the time of this arti
cle, the national debt was
$8,365,530,687,635.33. With
a population of $298 mil
lion that rounds out to about
$28,072.25 per person.
Recently the depths of
America’s debt were high
lighted by news out of New
York that the National Debt
Clock in Times Square is run
ning out of room. The clock
only spans 13 digits,
which means that
when - not if, sadly
- the national debt
reaches $10 tril
lion, the clock will
be unable to show
the number. This is
expected to happen
within the next two
years.
Anyone
can
spout figures about
our national debt,
but usually all this
accomplishes is to
make everyone else’s
eyes glaze over.
But saying that the
National Debt Clock
will run out of room
within two years ...
well, that makes people sit up
and take notice.
The clock was replaced in
2004, in part to fix a happy
discovery made in the 1990s -
the clock can’t run backwards.
This is obviously not a prob
lem facing the clock today.
The numbers in the lower plac
es roll up so fast they seem to
flicker and change at random.
This is a situation that is
going to get much worse before
it gets better.
tylish instructor advocates restroom repose for happy love life
lames
Bryant-Trerise
Contributing Writer
Women, don’t read this. There’s noth-
[ in it for you. Skip to another section
the sports, maybe.
[OK men, I have a story which may
lp you avoid considerable embarrass-
ent. Plus, following my advice could
iprove your love life..,
My office is. on the second floor of
|oF Hall. ^JSdh'seq'tieiiifly/ I visit the
pi’s room there a lot. There I was one
y, mindlessly zipping up as I backed
ay from the urinal, when my hand
ished something cold and wet on my
its.
Drops of liquid were splattered all
[m my right pant leg, with a few on
’ left as well. I first checked to see if
re was anyone else in the room; Lord
[jws one wouldn’t want to investigate
ything having to do with bodily func-
ns while anyone could see you.
[What happened? I really hoped that
was splatter from the urinal flush,
11 the coldness of the water seemed to
[roborate that theory. If it were water
jm the flushing then it was just water:
too bad, though the fact that it came
im a urinal’s pipes was disconcert-
But now that the liquid was on my
nds, I decided I’d better confirm in an
factory manner. And my worst fears
Ire realized.
Every reasonable man knows why
didn’t notice this problem as it was
opening. We never look down; who
tots to see what’s there? We spend our
le looking at the tile three inches from
[faces and reading the cjever lines
nned in on the grout between the tiles,
togs like “why are you reading this”
d “don’t take James for 122.”
Why this splatter happened to me,
have no idea. Perhaps some sort of
ijectory analysis could be undertaken,
aybe Steve Brown (physics instructor)
bld vector in my individual angle of
pose (we men are each of us unique,
i snowflakes), the arc of the curve
the porcelain and the pressure of my
bam to determine the reason why this
rticular urinal and I do not get along
fhe
Clackamas Print
119600 S. Molalla Ave.
¡Oregon City, OR 97045
(503) 657-6958 ex. 2309
The C lackamas Print is a weekly
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|Qistributed every Wednesday except
finals week.
(Ah, what a thing it is to be educated!).
And no, standing in a different place
didn’t seem to help: I tried that the next
time.
So here’s the warning: on the second
floor of Rook, if you have to pee, sit.
Don’t stand at the urinal. Sure, it may
not happen to you, but is it worth the
risk? True, dropping the drawers and
sitting take a little longer than whip
ping down the zipper and firing away.
But is it worth the risk? I had to scuttle
surreptitiously back to my office and
skedaddle on home.
Of course, sitting is still problem
atic. Some men out there - wait, let
me rephrase that - some thoughtless,
heartless, clueless bastards out there do
not lift the seat ring when they stand
to pee in the stall with the can. Let’s
forget all that about brain size, skull
thickness, sloping brow, or whatever:
the real distinction between Neanderthal
and modem man is whether or not he
takes two seconds to lift the seat ring
with his shoe before dropping his stream
in the bucket.
But a man really shouldn’t stand in
the stall anyway. Here’s why, and here
also is why sitting may improve a man’s
love life.
For reasons unknown to me, I have
very rarely stood to pee when there’s
a can to sit on. I don’t know why I got
into this habit. Regardless, sitting on the
can when peeing is better for a reason
I wasn’t aware of until I started living
with a woman.
Much to my surprise, one day she
thanks me for sitting to pee.
“Most men don’t,” she said.
I knew that, but I didn’t know why it
mattered. She explained about the splat
ter, but again, I knew that failing to lift
the ring meant splatter problems.
“Even with a lifted ring, there’s still
splatter. It’s on the rim of the bowl,
underneath it and on the floor around the
toilet,” she went on.
I grew up in a suburban family with
a stay-at-home mom, who, sorry to
say, never taught her three boys much
about housekeeping. I didn’t clean a
toilet bowl until I was in my mid-20s,
and I didn’t do a very good job. So this
explains why, at the age of 30, I was
hearing a neat .freak woman (“what’s
that, sweetie? Oh - OK”) - er, woman
educating me about pee splatter stains.
How’s this going to help with a
man’s love life? Well, that woman (now
my wife) actually told some of her
friends about this issue - that I sit. They
growled in envy at her good fortune
in finding
such a thoughtful man.
E ditor - in -C hief : Ben Maras
C opy E ditors : Katie Weinberg, E. E.
A d A ssistant : Helen Conley
S taff W riters : Derek Erickson,
West
Justin Goe, Elizabeth Hitz, Frank
Jordan, Mike Kimberling, Megan
Koler, Adam J. Manley Matthew
Olson, Kyle Steele, David Stark,
N. P. Delzell, Helen Conley
N ews E ditor : Katie Wilson
C ommentary E ditor : Laura Cameron
F eature E ditor : C.J. Ciaramella
S ports E ditor : Mike Guidice
A&E E ditor : Tayo Stalnaker
P hoto E ditor : Jeff Sorensen
A d M anager : Sam Krause
P roduction A ssistants : Adam
J. Manley, Kim Maier, Elizabeth
(Apparently, finding a man thoughtful
enough to clean the toilet bowl himself
was outside even the realm of imagina
tion.) Now, I’ve been in Sue Mach’s
office; I know that not all women are
- um, concerned with cleanliness to the
degree my wife is. But many are.
The less splatter, the more they like
you. Everything helps.
James Bryant-Trerise is an English
instructor at Clackamas Community
College.
Hitz, Chris Anderson, Scott
Risvold
P hotographers : Adam J. Manley,
Lara Hedbor, Elizabeth Hitz,
Matt Olson, N. P. Delzell
D epartment A dvisor : Linda Vogt
D epartment A ssistant : Chris Hennel
G oals : The C lackamas Print aims
to report the news in an honest,
unbiased, professional manner.
The opinions expressed do not
necessarily reflect those of the stu
dent body, college administration,
its faculty or The Print. E-mail
comments to chiefed@dackamas.
edu.