Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (July 15, 2011)
voices > OREGON'S LGBTO NEWSMAGAZINE JULY 15. 2011 33 j« : I Kissed A Cub And I Liked It Yep, I’m turning 40— the supposed death age of homos everywhere. Many have opined that turning 40 in gay years is like turning 80 in straight years. To be perfectly honest, I’m not completely sure how I feel about it. A part o f me is rather looking forward to this new decade and chapter o f my life, while another is slightly apprehensive and fearful of having to check the “40-49” age box when filling out surveys and such. You cannot deny we homos tend to place a lot of value on youth and looking young. One need look no further than ads on Craigslist (don’t front, you know you check it) or gay. com (does anybody even use this website any more?) and see all the age restrictions in hook up ads. “Over 40 need not apply,” one will state or “Over 40 OK as long as you don’t look over 35.” These ads litter the Internet like so many used condoms at a safe-sex party. One o f the first gay books I read upon com ing out was William J. Mann’s The Men from the Boys. In the novel, protagonist Jeff O ’Brien faces a midlife crisis at 33 and must deal with not being the new, hot young thing anymore— even though he is described as someone who is built like an Adonis. Many o f the gay men in the book also consider 30 as the official over-the-hill age, making those over the mile stone number less desirable sexually. I read I was in a few relationships, all the much the same. Much like the Y2K scare, nothing disastrous happened. My penis didn't while thinking, “ I must succeed in shrivel, dry up and fall off and I didn’t become one before 30.” Then 30 came and an instant outcast sexually or socially. In fact, contrary to the novel, my big gay went and my world remained pretty life didn’t really start swinging until I was in much the same. Much like the Y2K my thirties. I met more people, became more comfortable in my own skin and had way scare, nothing disastrous happened. more sex than I ever did before. There is some this book at the impressionable age o f 26 and truth to the statement that age is relative. Liv it left an indelible mark on me. Needless to ing through my thirties proved to me how old say, I looked forward to turning 30 as much as you feel and act is actually all in your head. It one would look forward to a urethra swab test is also true that with age comes experience, for Chlamydia. and experience has taught me how to better I came out at the relatively late age of 25, navigate the many bumps in life. and reading The Men from the Boys left me Associating with the Bears has also helped overwrought with anxiety. I kept thinking I had in dealing with the whole age thing. Having precious few years to accomplish what all gay been discriminated against in the past for be men were supposed to before they got too old ing too fat, old or hairy, this group of men —being in a stable relationship, having a suc tends to be more accepting than others. Bears cessful career, partying to the fullest. So I set also skew slightly older and since I’ve always out to do those things with great gusto. I had a thing for older men, it’s a win-win situ worked really hard and partied even harder. I ation. Don’t ask me why I have a predilection was in a few relationships, all the while think for slightly older men— maybe I have daddy ing, “I must succeed in one before 30.”Then 30 issues due to a distant father while I was grow came and went and my world remained pretty ing up. Before I start psychoanalyzing myself, «* though, I must admit it never occurred to me I would one day become the daddy in question. Recently, I was instant messaging with a cute Latino cub from Florida on G R O W Lr (the furry equivalent o f Grindr) and he called me “papito.” I had an inkling what the term meant but, to be sure, I asked him to clarify. He said “papito” meant “cute little daddy,” a term o f endearment. Rather than being in sulted, I took it as a compliment. At an Oregon Bears event not too long ago, I had my eye on a really adorable cub, and by the end of the evening we were making out. It was only after we became Facebook friends that I realized he had just turned 21. In one of his emails, he called me a “hot Asian daddy.” In the past I would have been slightly uncom fortable, but instead I took it all in stride. I was flattered a hot little cub would consider me daddy material and make out with me. So yes, I kissed a cub and I really, really liked it. I think my forties are going to treat me just fine. At least I know for sure life as a gay man does not end when he turns 30. J0] T his P anda is hijacking the Oregon Bears' monthly Bear Bust at the Eagle Portland Saturday, July 16 starting at 9p.m. as his unofficial big 4-0 birthday celebration. You are all invited. Email him at pdx- pandacub@gmail.com for more details. -------------------------------------------------------------1 W h e re To Host B o tt o m s S te a m P o rtla n d August 2011 @ Karaoke w/KJ Suzanne every Tuesday night! First Thursday At Scandals Freddies Restroom Come See the New August Artwork Book Store Arcade T H U R S D A Y MIGHT Yah!...We Can Host! LIVBI Every Live Bands Thursday Night! HAPPY HOUR 4pm ■ MIDNIGHT M o rn in g W o o d S p e c ia l $5 $5 lo c k e rs fo r 6 h o u rs (6am to 12noon M -F ) Every Friday & Saturday I 1 S h o t M e m b e rs h ip $5 D on't w a n t to c o m m it to 6 m o n th s o r 1 ye a r? Ju st v is it us fo r the day! = $10 fo r 6 hours w ith yo u r M a n h u n t m an! (H ot tub. S team R oom . N ude Sun Deck. Porn L o u n g e) Your Flavor r i J t f i i t l With W VODKA Well Cocktails u p g ra d e d fo r Free!!! Pearl Vodka, Bacardi, Beefeater, Jose Cuervo, Seagrum 7 as the well Liquors! SUNDAY BLOODY MARY BAR C • , . . ... . . N O O N 4PM Service Industry N ig ht Show your Permits A fter 9pm 8/ receive 5 0 % off! s c a n d a ls p d x .c o m 1 1 2 5 S W S ta rk St. 5 0 3 .2 2 7 .5 8 8 7
