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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (June 3, 2011)
|jj¡] 24 voices > JUNE 3.2011 WWW.JUSTOUT.COM The Experience of a Lifetime I have learned in my nearly 19 years in Ore gon that the best way to combat my growing frustration with our long fallwinterspring sea son is to go somewhere warm, preferably be tween March and the Pride o f June, to recharge my batteries and help combat my serious Vita min D deficiency and nasty disposition. This year my wife Cher and I, along with our best friends Jena and Bethie, made a long journey to the Caribbean for an Olivia Travel resort vacation in the Dominican Republic. This was the fourth time Cher and I have traveled with Olivia, and each trip has outdone the last. Many of our friends have been suspect of our trips, wondering why on earth we would want to spend the extra money to be with a group o f lesbians for a week. They roll their eyes, make comments about how they always feel comfortable on regular vacations and question the big deal about Olivia anyway. Our friend Bethie was skeptical as well—go ing along with the plans set forth by her girl friend, co-conspired by me to make this trip < for the four o f us happen. We booked it 14 months in advance—plenty o f time to plan, dream about and pay for it. Each month we counted down, another 30 days closer. On May 6, we set off for the airport and 12 hours o f travel. When we arrived at the Club Med in Punta Cana, it was as if everything KATHRYN MARTINI We met two ladies from Virginia— both closeted except in the company of close friends and family. ... For these ladies and others like them, going on an Olivia trip is life changing, a utopist respite from the homophobic world they endure each day. about our regular lives melted away. Not only were we in paradise, sitting by the beautiful blue water o f the sea, we were with our peo ple, completely comfortable and free. Those o f us who live in the Portland met ropolitan area don’t realize just how lucky we are to reside in a progressive city where we can be ourselves. My wife and I hold hands wherever we go— I will kiss her in public, there are places we can go dancing together, and neither o f us is afraid to be out at work. This is absolutely not the experience of many o f the ladies whom we met on our trip. It’s always fascinating, albeit heartbreaking, to hear about their regular lives at home. old friends and new friends, femmes and hutches and everyone in between. Some were comfortable in their basketball shorts and sports bras as beachwear, some were comfort able topless, one lady was wearing a flannel shirt in the pool during a volleyball game— yes, a flannel shirt. Some ladies dressed up in the evening, some did not, and eventually Jena, a professional hair stylist, resisted the urge to offer makeover advice to the ladies still sporting mullets. We weren’t the only Portlanders who made the long trip for sun shine— our newest besties are a couple from N E whom we happened to meet three weeks earlier in the bathroom at The Alibi. We swam in the sea, drank pina coladas, socialized, napped, ate lobster, watched amazing shows by The Wau Wau Sisters, Dana Goldberg, Poppy Champlain and Vicky Shaw, danced until the wee hours o f the morning and skinny-dipped under the moon. And never once did we look around and won der if anyone was looking at us funnily. Never once did I drop my wife’s hand or feel that bit o f heaviness that sometimes sits in my chest, and never did I feel even the tiniest bit o f shame or judgment. Toward the end o f the week, Bethie looked at Jena with tears in her eyes and said, “This is the greatest experience o f my life.” Some things are worth making happen. The greatest experi ence of one’s life is definitely one o f them. We met two ladies from Virginia—both closeted except in the company of close friends and family. They have a child together, but one o f the women has no legal rights due to Virginia’s strict laws that keep her from adopt ing her own child and, as the second mother, she is hesitant to participate in school events or in any other capacity that would out them. As a couple, they can’t even insure each other or have automatic property rights. They had nev er, until this trip, expressed any form o f affec tion toward each other in public. Another couple from Alabama have been in a committed relationship with each other for three years, but don’t share a home due to their fear o f having an out and open relationship. One o f them is a small business owner who doesn’t want to risk losing clientele, and her livelihood, if people know she’s a lesbian. For these ladies and others like them, going on an Olivia trip is life changing, a utopist respite from the homophobic world they endure each day. We met ladies from all over the world— young ladies in their early twenties, older la K a t h r y n M a r t i n i is a freelance writer and dies in their eighties, couples, solos, groups o f blogger. Reach her through kathrynmartini.com. Gino’s A l l T h in g s F resh Restaurant 5 Bar BASTAS Where Triends meet Tor good food and wine in a relaxed atmosphere. 'Life is 6oocT Sunday - Thursday 4-10 pm, Friday - Saturday 4-11 pm Seven Nights’A Week 8051 SE 13* five, a t Sp o k an e 410 NW 21st Ave, 503.274.1572 in Sellwood b a s t a s t r a t t o r i a . co m mint Established 2001 503 284 5518 8 1 6 N. Russell Street, Portland T LU N C H AN D D AILY Happy Hour Mon/Tue 4pm - 8pm MON-FRI • 7AM-2PM S a t -S u n • B a M‘ 3 pm I 'BRIDQESCAFEANDCATERINB.NET WED & SUN ALL NIGHT LONG! 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