Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 17, 2004)
decentar U. 2004 - jU S t O llt ADVICE ▼ S P IR IT U A L IT Y Metro: Spirituality Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm Thursday 503 281 0722.) (7/05) Atkinson Memorial Church a Unitarian Universalis! church, provides a spintual home for those looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and canng congregation in Oregon City (10 30 am Sunday 710 Sixth St. 503-656- 7296 Ì (7/05) Bridgeport United Church of Christ >s a community of progressive, political people explonng and celebrating the Chnstian faith We are sexual minority and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children are valued members (10:30 am Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave. 503-258 0992 www bndgeportucc org.) (7/05) Congregation P'nai Or (Paces of Light) is a vibrant, egalitarian. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland Meets several times a month at Portland State University Campus Ministnes (PO Box 42187. Portland. OP 97242 0187 503 248 4500 www pnaiorpdx org ) (7/05) Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's religious education (1030 am 1133 NE 181st Ave , Gresham 503 665 2628 office@eastrose.org. www eastrose org.) (7/05) Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound of God holds worship services and maintains a library of matenals Learn how the Divine Spint works throughout your own life in today's world (10 am Sunday 7904 SE Milwaukie Ave. 503-233-1595 www eckankar.org.) (7/05) fellowship and worship Bible and book study groups. Sunday school and nursery care. (1030 am Sunday 494 E Mam St 503-648 4341 www hillsboro ucc org ) (7/05) First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide range of programs to nurture spintual growth, commum ty and social justice. Sunday service 9 and 11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave 503-228 6389 www hrstumtananportland o rg ) (7/05) Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass followed by a social (7 3 0 pm Fnday Pauhst Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave 503 231 4955) (7/05) Integrity ¡s a group of sexual mmonty Episcopalians and fnends Vanous locations throughout Oregon (Steven Norcross or Bruce 503 286 9111 brucepdxorQcomcast net www mtegntyusa o rg ) (7/05) Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spintual direc tors from vanous world religious traditions, who are available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second Floor. 3910 S E IIth Ave 503-233-2026. ext 3 www mterfaithspintualcentercom) (7/05) Koinonia Catholic Community >s a progressive, small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate Euchanst at Bndgeport United Church of Chnst A wel coming congregation. Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503 699 0473 www koinomacommunity o rg ) (7/05) Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist Church is a "house church" that bnngs gay and straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday evening worship. (503 281-3697. wwwtearsoupcom/metanoia) (7/05) Enneagram Community of Portland offers men- tonng. therapy, spintual direction, classes, workshops and retreats (enneagrampdx@aol com www. enneagramportland. com.) (7/05) Metropolitan Community Church of Portland holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at 9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng the 11 am service (2400 NE Broadway 503-281 8868 mfo@mccportlandcom wwwmccportlandcom.) (7/05) Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming congregation that values and affirms the sacredness of all people We invite and encourage everyone to find a place in the family of God (10 15 am Sunday 27400 SE Stark S t . Troutdale 503 6 6 1 -4520) (7/05) Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers several weekly gatherings Everyone welcome1 (10 am Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 30 pm Wednesday meditation. 2025 SE Yamhill St 503-232 8064 www mchiren-shu org/portland) (7/05) First Congregational United Church of Christ is an open and affirming congregation in the liberal Chnstian tradition Church school and nursery care (10.25 am Sunday 1126 SW Park Ave 503 228-7219) (7/05) Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming congregation ( I I am Sunday 12727 SE Market St. 503 254-6380 ) (7/05) First Congregational United Church of Christ of Hillsboro is an open and affirming congregation explicitly welcoming everyone into its Chnstian community. Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a center for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an all-inclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12-step. Unity and Religious Science Impromptu wedding ceremonies available (503-777-0727 www portlandcenterorg) (7/05) Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon Open to all men seeking alternative spiritual growth and community Coffee hours start 9 30 am Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave (503235 0826 otterQpcez com ) (7/05) Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support organization for former and current Adventists who are queer as well as their family and fnends (PO Box 49375. Sarasota. F i 342306375 866 732 5677 officeQsdakmship org www sdakmship o rg ) (7/05) DONALD I HORN Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active member of the Community of Welcoming Congregations Sunday school, nursery care, classes, community service activities and events for all ages and interests (9 am Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday mam worship service 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton 503 644-2073 staffQsouthmm com www southmm com ) (7/05) St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to pm a diverse faith community for prayer and fellow ship (930 am Sunday. Noon Spanish language service 806 NE Alberta St 503281 4429 ) (7/05) M iss America, you ain't seen nothin' yet! Triangle Productions presents the hilarious spoof Pageant through Dec. 23. Y O U T H Metro: Youth The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) strives to assure that each mem ber of every school community is valued and respect ed. regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression (12700 SW North Dakota St.. Suite 180*129. Tigard. OP 97223 503-525-1177. glsenQglsenoregon org. www glsenoregon o rg ) (7/05) Outside In operates a clime for anyone who can't qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle exchange services that include those who mpet hor mones Provide transitional housing for youth 20 and younger and for those HIV-positive and younger than 23 Need volunteers of all ages (10 am 8 pm Monday- Fnday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503 535-3800 www outsidem.org.) (7/05) Prids Project bnngs together Washington County queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for track tional, liturgical worship where we expenence God's reconciling love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave social events Also information, referral and advocacy services m Washington County (Molly 503260 5792 mollyGpndeproiect org.) (7/05) Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center (SMYRC) offers support and recreation to gay. lesbian, bi and trans youth 23 and younger Drop-m computer access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out Weekly support meetings include Trans Youth Group and the creative group Personal Deity Proxy (4 8 pm Monday and Wednesday 4 pm midnight Friday and Saturday 2100SE Belmont St. 503 8729664 TTY 503-231 9286 www smyre org ) (7/05) Eastern Oregon: Youth Eastern Oregon Center for Independent Living offers support and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth m Eastern Oregon (1021 SW Sth Ave Ontario 5 4 18 89 31 19 or 8662488369 eocilOeocil org. www eocil o rg ) (7/05) 503-227-2439 www st/ameslutheranportland o rg ) (7/05) St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel coming all people since 1863 (12 10 pm Wednesday and 7 45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child care at 10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave 503 223 6424 ) (7/05) SisterSpirit offers women's spirituality celebrations, discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and classes Schedule of events available All women are welcome (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belmont St. Mailing address PO Box 9246. Portland. OP 97207 503 7363297 sistersp@teleport com ) (7/05) Trinity Episcopal Cathedral a welcoming and affirming congregation, invites all to worship services and ongoing programs in spintual development, community outreach, music and arts education (8 am Sunday Pile I chapel service 10 am Sunday Rite II cathedral service 147 NW 19th Ave. 503-222-9811. www tnmty-episcopal o rg ) (7/05) Unitarian Universalist Community Church of Washington County is an open and affirming liberal religious community offenng a variety of enrichment pro grams in addition to community and social action oppor tunities (9 and 11 am Sunday 22785 NW Birch St . Hillsboro 503-648-1720 www uuccwc o rg ) (7/05) Waveriy Heights United Church of Christ is open and affirming with worship, children’s school and child care (10 am summer, 11 am school year 3300 SE Woodward St 503 238 1337 pastor@wavertyucc org www waverlyucc org ) (7/05) Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation is an open and liberal religious community offenng mtergenerational services and religious education for youth and adults We welcome gay. lesbian, bi and trans members and nurture spintual growth living by Umtanan Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele St. 503 777-3704 www wyeast pnwd uua o rg ) (7/05) Zion United Church of Christ an open and affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Chnst- centered. warm, canng, multiage/race/cultural faith community (11 am Sunday 11030 am summer! 2025 NE 23rd A v e . Gresham 503-665 8741.) (7/05) Central Oregon: Spirituality United Church of Christ Congregational is an open and affirming congregation in The Dalles (9 20 am adult Sunday school. 1030 am worship 1930 am summer). I l l EFifth St 541 296 2909 ucccongl@ netcnct net www formmistry com/usorucofcucocc.) (7/05) Washington: Spirituality Abundant Life Center assists the community in spintual growth. (10am Sunday I I I W 39th St.. Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Verigin 360-573 2626 www abundant life-center o rg ) ( 7/05) Longview United Methodist Church is welcom mg and reconciling (10 am Sunday 2851 30th A ve . Longview 360 4 2 5 4 9 2 7 )0 /0 5 ) Metropolitan Church of the Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you (10 30 am and 6 3 0 pm Sunday worship Bible study follows morning worship 2200 Broadway St The Rev Hamel Barshofsky 360695 1480) (7/05) Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home for the liberal religious spint (9 30 and 11:15 am Sunday 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver 360 695-1891.) (7/05) Willamette Valley: Spirituality First Congregational Church United Church of Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offenng worship and church school Child care provided and wheelchair accessible (9 30 am Sunday learning hour. 1030 am worship 700 Manon St NE. Salem 503 363 3660 7 (7/05) Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers is a Chnstian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual minonties community (6 30 pm Sunday 1166 Oak St . Eugene) (7/05) Washington: Youth Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth xi Vancouver Meets every Tuesday in the basement of Youth House (6-8 pm 1112 Columbia St John 360695 1 32 5)0/05 ) Willamette Valley: Youth Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and Questioning Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support, information and fun in Eugene Free, confiden tial. adult facilitated (Drop m 4 8 pm Fnday Amaion Community Center. 2700 HAyard St 541-684-3466) (7/05) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth Group lor ages 25 and younger meets every Monday in Eugene (5 pm Koinonia Center. 1414 Kmcad St 541 346 1134 ) ( 7/05) Drama queen dethroned Will blames Grace instead of dealing w ith his Mommy issues D ear M s . B ehavior : 2. A t what point Several years ago, does the victim need 1 met a straight to “get over it”? I female co-worker don’t know the appro who instantly priate grieving/recov- became my “fag hag.” ery time for child- We went everywhere hcxxl sexual abuse. together, told each Twenty years seems other everything and long to me. were platonic soul 3. My mother mates. After a dra believes she should matic falling-out, 1 treat all of her chil tossed her to the curb dren equally. Steve for her inability to be hates Mom for treat a good friend— her ing Ed equally. To me, selfish neediness had it seems Steve has gotten on my nerves. become the abuser 1 quickly replaced her with my new when he inflicts his anger and guilt fag hag, and we became inseparable. on Mom. Then, problems arose in our relation 4. Steve refuses to have ship. It became apparent that she had Thanksgiving with Mom and myself deeper feelings for me. Her drama- because he is upset that we saw Ed queen tendencies and neediness began when he was in town recently. Steve to remind me of fag hag No. 1. has been seeing a psychiatrist for a It’s been almost six months since year or two and demands that Mom I’ve seen her. My life is more drama- pay for his counseling. T he psychia trist should he helping him get over free, but I miss having that one per son to count on to do stuff with, talk the past, hut instead, Steve’s anger to and share special moments with. ! toward Ed is growing. I loathe the idea of spending time Steve has always been my favorite with either of my previous hags, for person. I’d like to respond to the sit- fear that their dramatic ways will ; uation in the best way, and also to complicate my life, but I kind of miss know if Steve is acting appropriately them. Should I take them back? ! or if he is taking it ttx> far. Should I find a new hag? Do 1 just — Sister o f a Very Bitter Brother need a gtxid man? — Hapless Homo D ear S ister of a V ery B itter B rother : D ear H agless H omo : Steve dtxsn’t need to “get over it.” He needs your support and compassion. It’s all about your needs, isn’t it? You describe the women you’ve Although the abuse happened 20 tossed aside as needy and dramatic, years ago, he only started dealing hut you’re the one who thrives on with the effects of it in the past year drama. or two. The anger he feels now is one of the stages in coming to terms You find a “soul mate,” do every thing together, but then eventually with what happened to him. become disappointed and find a rea Steve is acting out his rage at son for a theatrical ending. Then you your mother for not protecting him. start the cycle over again with some Even if she wasn’t consciously aware one new. of the abuse, your mother’s failure to A new woman won’t fill the hole save Steve is a painful wound for inside you, and a man won’t help, him that may take a long time to either. You need to find (Hit why yixi heal. Your mother needs therapy so can’t sustain a meaningful relationship she can deal with her feelings about and why you’re so angry at women. the abuse and perhaps about her own (Hello, Mommy?) Perhaps this went Id inability to protect Steve. be a gixxl time to start sharing special Meanwhile, your support of Steve moments with a therapist. doesn’t mean that you and your mother should be held hostage by his D ear M s . B ehavior : demands. T he decision about keep I have two brothers, eight years ing in contact with Ed should he apart. As children, the older brother yours, as long as you continue to let (Ed) was physically and sexually abu Steve know that you support him. sive toward the younger brother You haven’t said whether Ed (Steve). takes responsibility for his actions or The last sexual abuse happened 20 is himself in counseling. T hat may years ago. Steve is still bitter, hateful bear on the outcome of all of this. and angry toward Eel for the abuse. Your whole family needs therapy— The questions: not necessarily together— to deal 1. Steve feels that Ed should no with the effects of the abuse on your longer be a part of our family. Steve relationships with one another. jR wants Mom and me to disown Ed and have no contact with him. M eryl C ohn is the author of IV) I rarely talk to Ed anyway. W hat is W hat I Say: Ms. Behaviors Guide to the proper etiquette to respect the Gay and Lesbian Etiquette. Signed victim yet maintain contact with the copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or abuser (or is it absurd that Steve is offended if mom or I talk to Ed)? correspondence to
