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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (May 21, 2004)
may 21.2004 e e r S r i e n d iy S in a C d ie r a y jf^ r a tò e Ò , O f f e r S l d v i c e fo r S a m e -S e x ^ fY fa r r ia a e ó “What I see as important with those seeking marriage is that they con- sciously define what marriage means to them, so they are both dedicated to the same purpose. Each couple needs to consider what marriage means to them and strive to meet those expectations, rather than the expectations of a stereotype.” — the Rev. Rhianrum Qriffiths, minister of the Community of the Creative Spirit, Oregon City “If marriage is a religious institution with rules set by the church, then the state needs to get out of it. If marriage is a governmental institution, then the government is required to treat all people equally. The Constitution demands nothing else.” —Tom Kuffner, Universal Life Church minister “I believe that the word marriage is religious in nature and that for the state or government to issue marriage licenses is a violation of separation of church and state. I do think that the licensing should be changed to a ‘domestic union* license and the word marriage should be reserved for the church and its func tion of solemnizing or blessing the union as a marriage.” — the Rev. Christopher Martin, Universal Life Church minister, Beaverton “Any time we allow another group to deny us, based upon any perceived difference like class, race, sexual orientation, what have you, we diminish all of us and allow erosion of why I think we are here: to love, to learn, to be in communion with the Supreme.” — the Rev. James Taylor, Portland “Marriage serves as a link to form new communities or expand existing ones, so we are better prepared to handle whatever life throws at us by virtue of our expanded communities. Marriage is the reciprocal commitment between two people to make every effort to stand by the other person and support them through all of life’s challenges, big and small, happy and sad, public and pri vate. In that sense, it is the core community.” — Sonia A. Montalbano, Universal Life Church minister “We stand on the threshold of a new structure, a sanctuary where all of us have the right to marry whom we love and where each of us can enjoy the benefits and rights incumbent upon that institution. I am proud to be witness to the construction of it and deeply moved, as a clergywoman, to be a partici pant in the process.” — the Rev. Mary McDonald'Leuks, Universal Life Church minister, Portland the institution of marriage didn’t want me, then I didn’t want it either.” Blair and McW illiams’ open-eyed, loving com m itm ent is far stronger than any ghosts or exclusions could ever be. Such a relationship, even without the license or recognition, has to be admired by queer and straight alike. of them combine their incomes and bank accounts.” However, she continues, “O f those same-gender couples who have been through commitment ceremonies, only 5 percent of them combine their incomes and bank accounts.” Once legally married, Moffett-Chaney says “most of the couples who have been in further contact with me have reported that they have combined surnames, incomes and bank accounts. tv e d o •j Seems to me the ability to marry legally helps create a deeper trust in the relationship." / J t means a lot to have all the legal M offett-Chaney concludes that, in her rights— the medical stuff, the Social opinion, “there is no question that actual law Security and the perks that are associ ful marriage, publicly acknowledged and ated with marriage in this society,” savs socially sanctioned, creates a more solid sense C hristensen. “It is of permanence.” unconstitutional to Marriage can also be deny us these rights.” a commitment not only If ever there was a between the couple reason for legalized mar themselves, but between riage for same-sex cou society and the couple. l; ples, equal rights may be The validation offered i* S the strongest. According from society, family and isgtSSSSEBB! û to Davina Kotulski’s friends creates a new spectacularly informative vision of who those two book Why You Should have become. Give a Damn About Gay “Marriage is a rite of Marriage, married cou passage as well as a ples are afforded more ‘right of passage,’ ’’ than 1,049 federal rights M offett-Chaney says, and more than 300 “and rites of passage rights per state that change an individual’s unmarried couples consciousness.” (including same-sex cou The day Christensen ples) are not offered. and Mary stood in line These rights include downtown, to “raise the everything from tax Stephen Blair (above) and his life partner, bar” of their commit breaks to discounts on ment, they noticed in Drew McWilliams, chose not to marry insurance premiums and the crowd a young, hip gym memberships to the right to be at your looking lesbian watching them. spouse’s dying bedside. “Isn’t she cute,” they whispered to one A nd for those who think they can get the another. In a moment, the young woman came same protection through civil unions or domes up to them. tic partnerships, Kotulski is quick to remind us “Tell us you’re not getting married,” Chris that “38 states have mini-DOMAs [Defense of tensen said to her. “You’re way too young.” Marriage Acts] so that they cannot be required No, the young woman assured them; she to recognize any relationship that is not was merely there to show her support. “But I between a man and a woman. Domestic part had to tell you,” the young woman said, “you nership rights and civil union rights DO N O T are the most beautiful couple I’ve ever seen.” LEAVE THE STATE.” Christensen says this, for her, is what get But beyond legal rights, queers like Chris ting married is all about. “I never thought I’d tensen say marriage “raises the bar a bit more be a role model,” she says. “W ouldn’t it have about our commitment. How can you break up been great to have had that kind of role model when all the family’s embraced us?” Christensen when we were kids.7” jokes. “It’s about the family being furious! Makes I don’t know. Maybe my queer friend in it harder to give up! Harder in a good way.” that budding relationship who just wanted to Moffett-Chaney says that in her 12 years of make a political statem ent, maybe he isn’t so counseling couples, she has seen a blatant differ crazy after all. J H ence in how the ability to legally marry affects same-sex and heterosexual couples. O f the G lenn S cofield W illiams umtes poetry, prose, straight couples who marry, she says “95 percent plays, periodica and pom in Portland. Wk F i l e t e P a i n t i n g s & P r i n t s by R emedios R apoport Celebrate with Flowers ¡Ü Weddings GLBT Ceremonies & Parties d $ /< w a / One of the many happy families we’ve helped create. Thinking of starting a family? 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