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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (May 7, 2004)
may 7 .2 0 0 4 * Just out 35 ADVICE in memberstup (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503-699-0473 wwwkononiacommunity o rg ) (7/04) SPIRITUALITY Metro: Spirituality A insw orth U nited C hurch o f C h rist is a multi racial, m ulticultural, open and affirm ing church. Sunday worship is at 10 am; church school fo r children runs concurrently (2941 NE Ainsworth S t 503-284-8767 aucc&teleport co m ) (7/04) Anawim C om m unity of gay men meets weekly for Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 3 0 pm Thursday 503-281-0722.) (7/04) B ridgeport United C hurch o f C h rist is a commu nity of progressive, political people exploring and cele brating the Chnstian faith We are sexual m inority and straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children are valued members (10:30 am Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503-258-0992 w w w bndgeportucc org.) G 704) C ity Church, Portland's 'o ld e st gay affirmmg Chnstian church,' offers a spirit-driven church for today's diverse generations. (10 am Sunday commu nion and worship service. 6 .3 0 pm Sunday worship service. 3 8 3 0 SE 62ndA ve. 503-775-5024.) G 704) C ongregation P 'nai O r (Faces o f Light) is a vibrant, egalitarian. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland Meets several times a month at Portland State University Campus M inistries. (PO Box 42187. Portland. OB 97242-0187. 503-248-4500 www.pnaiorpdx.org.) (7/04) Eastrose Fellow ship U nitarian U niversalist. a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's religious education. (10 30 am Sunday 1133 NE 181st Ave.. Gresham. 503-665-2628 eastrose@ teleport.com w w w .eastrose.org.) (7/0 4 ) Faith U nited M ethodist C hurch is a welcoming community o f Chnstians in Troutdale that values and encourages all people in finding a place o f belonging in the family of God. Sunday worship at 10:15 am; Adult Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10:30 am Wednesday Prayers 6-6:30 pm. (27400 SE Stark S t 503661 4520.) ( 7/04) F irst U nitarian C hurch o f Portland is an open and affirm ing liberal religious community offering a wide range o f programs to nurture spintual growth, communi ty and social justice. Sunday service 9 and 11 am. (1011 SW 12th Ave. 503-2286389 www hrstunitarianportland.org.) (7/04) Gay and Lesbian O utreach (GALO ) o f St Philip Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirm ing Mass fo l lowed by a social. (7 30 pm Friday. Paulist Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave. 503-231 4955 .) (7/0 4 ) Gay M en's Labyrinth P roject meets quarterly for a walking meditation and wisdom circle on the labyrinth (www.gaylabyrinth.com.) (7/04) i is a group o f sexual minonty Episcopalians and friends Various locations throughout Oregon. (Bruce 503-286-9111. bnjcepdxor@ attbi com. www. integrityusa org.) (7/04) In te rfa ith S p iritu a l C enter houses spintual direc tors from various world religious traditions, who are available for guidance, classes and retreats. (Second Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 5 0 32332026. ext 3 wwwintedaithspintualcenter.com .) (7/0 4 ) Keshet P ortland is a potluck group fo r Jewish mem bers of the sexual m inorities community and their part ners. spouses and supporters. Its purpose is to help build bridges with the larger Jewish community. M onthly social, religious and cultural events. (David or Laney 503 226-7079. ext. 14.) (7/04) Koinonia C atholic Community is a progressive, small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate Euchanst at Bridgeport United Church of Christ A wel coming congregation. Catholic m tradition and Ecumenical YO U T H Metro: Youth _____ • , a social support group for sexual rntnortty youth of color 21 ami younger, meets on weekends for food a id aadebdng. Regular events and actMUee. Flavors is a project of Love Makes a Fame's MuttiQueer proyam and is supported by Brother to Brother. (Kristy503 2263892 multiqueer@Matnily.org 7(7/04) The G ay. L m M m aad S tra ig h t E du catio n N e tw o rk (G LSEN ) fi^ its to end anti-gay bias in K-12 schools (Suite 180. 12700 SW North Dakota St H29, Tigard. OB 97223. 503-525 1177 gl$en@Qi$ennreQOn.o<y www.glsenoregon org.) (7/04) . a program of Love Makes a Famiy, provides advocacy to sexuel rrinorëy youfo Offers resource» and support in foe community and the school systems, wtfo a focus on support for queer and questioning youth of color. (Kristy 5032263882 m/6queer@krhmiyxxgJ (7/04) Longview U nited M ethodist C hurch is welcom ing and reconciling (10 am Sunday 2851 30th Ave. 360-425-492730/04) M etanoia Peace C om m unity U nited M ethodist C hurch is a 'house church* that bnngs gay and straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday evening worship (503-281-3697 www tearsoup.com /m etanoia) (7/0 4 ) M etropolitan Com m unity C hurch o f P ortland holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at 9 and 11 am. Sunday school for children is held dunng the 11 am service. (2400 NE Broadway 503281 8868 mfo@mccportland.com www m ccportland com .) (7/04) N ichiren B uddhist Temple o f P ortland offers several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1 (10 am Sunday. 7 30 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 3 0 pm Wednesday meditation. 2025 SE Yamhill St 503-232-8064 www mchiren-shu org/portland ) (7 /04) Peace C hurch o f the B rethren is a welcoming congregation. (11 am Sunday. 12727 SE M arket St. 503 2546380 ) ( 7/04) Portland Center fo r S p iritual G rowth is a center for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an aH- mclusive spintual philosophy similar to 12-step, Unity and Religious Science. Impromptu wedding ceremonies avail able. (503-7776727 w w w portlandcenterorg.) (7/04) P ortland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon Open to all men seeking alternative spiritual growth and community. Coffee hours start 9.30 am Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave (503-2356826 otter@ pcezcom .) ( 7/04) Seventh-Day A dventist Kinship is a support organ zation for queer people, their families and friends (PO Box 7320. Laguna Niguel. CA 92607 7320. 866732-5677. ofhce@sdakmshrp.org. www sdakinshp org.) (7/04) S iste rS p irit offers women's spirituality celebrations, discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and classes. Schedule of events available All women are welcome. (Suite 102. 3430 SE Belm ont St. Mailing address: PO Box 9246. Portland. OB 97207. 503 736 3297 sistersp@ teleport com .) (7/04) Southm inster P resbyterian C hurch is an active member o f the Community of Welcoming Congregations Sunday school and nursery care Classes, community service activities and events fo r all ages and interests. (9-9 30 am Sunday chapel service. 10 am Sunday community worship service. 12250 SW Denney Boad. Beaverton 503644 2073. staff@southmm.com www southm in.com .) (7/04) S t Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship (93 0 am Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 5 032814429) G704) S t. James Lutheran C hurch a Reconciled in Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for traditional, liturgical worship where we experience God's reconcil ing love that sets all people free. (9 and 11 am Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave 503 227 2439 www st)am eslutheranportlandong.) (7/0 4 ) S t. Stephen's Episcopal C hurch has been wel coming all people since 1863. (1 2 1 0 pm Wednesday and 7:45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child care at 10 am 1432 SW 13th Ave 503 2236424 ) (7/04) T rin ity Episcopal C athedral a welcoming and affirm ing congregation, invites aU to worship services and ongoing programs in spintual development, com munity outreach, music and arts education. (8 am Sunday Bite I chapel service 10 am Sunday Bite II cathedral service 147 NW 19th Ave 503-222-9811. wwwtnm ty-episcopalong.) (7/04) W averiy Heights U nited C hurch o f C h rist is open and affirming with worship, children's school and child care. (10 am Sunday 3300 SE W oodward St 503-238-1337. www waverlyucc org ) (7/04) Zion U nited C hurch o f C h rist an open and affirm ing congregation, is open to gay, lesbian, bi, trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Christ-centered, warm, canng, m ultiage/race/cultural faith community. (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd Ave.. Gresham. 503665-8741.)G 104) Central Oregon: Spirituality United Church o f C hrist Congregational is an open and affirming congregation in The Dalles (9.20 am adult Sunday school, 1030 am Sunday worship 111 E Fifth St. 541-296-2909. ucccongl@ netcnct.net www form m stry.com /usonjcofcucocc )G 704) Washington: Spirituality Abundant Life C enter is A New Thought Community for spintual awakening and transforming lives through love. A safe place where children learn to embody spintual pnnciples. (10 am Sunday 10006 NE Ninth A v e . Vancouver The Bev Kathleen Vengm 3 6 0 5 7 3 -2 6 2 6 )0 /0 4 ) East Vancouver U nited M ethodist C hurch Is reconciling and welcoming (10 am Sunday 5701 M acArthur Bfvd 3 6 0693 4761.)G 104) F irst C ongregational Church. United Church of Christ, holds services in an open and affirm ing congre gation (10 am Sunday worship. 11:15 am adult educa tion. 1220 NE 68th S t. Vancouver 360-693-1476. vanucc@ad.com.) (7/04) M etropolitan Com m unity Church o f the Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you. (10:30 am and 6 30 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday Bible study 2200 Broadway The Bev. Harriet Barshofsky 360-695-14 8 0 ) (7/04) M ichael Servetus U nitarian U niversalist Fellow ship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home fo r the liberal religious spirit (9 3 0 and 11:15am Sunday 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver 3 6 0 6 9 5 1 8 9 1 ) (7/0 4 ) Willamette Valley: Spirituality F irst C ongregational Church. United Church of C hrist is an open and affirming congregation offering worship and church school. Child care provided and wheelchair accessible (9.30 am Sunday learning hour. 10.30 am worship 700 Marion S t NE. Salem 503-363-3660.) G 704) M etropolitan C om m unity C hurch Two Rivers is a Chnstian church with primary outreach in the sexual m inorities community (6:30 pm Sunday 1166 Oak S t , Eugene) (7/04) Washington: Youth Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy to gay, lesbian, bi, trans and questioning youth in Vancouver, Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base ment o f Youth House. 1t12C oiunibfflSt in Vancouver (John 360695 1325) (7/04) and Wednesday. 4 pmeadnight Friday and Saturday 2100 SE Belmont St. 503872-9664. TTY503-231-9286 www.smyrc.org.) Other proyams include. Chi ch an i County Sexual M no rity Youth Connection provides cpportontttes (COêMYC) I provide« opportunities for for queer queer and and ques ques- W illa m e tte V a lle y *. Y O U th Gey ils ii. g Gay, iiit Lesbian, BL j, T m u riin rtir and tioning youth ages 23 and younger to get together for free, fun and supportive social activities. Offers one-on one support, referrals and information on HVandSTD prevention and resources for adults vdio work with queer and question™ youth. (503-9690060 cosmycyouth@yafiOO.comJ Pride Project brings togefo- er Washington County queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social events. Also information, referral and advocacy services Washington County Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, TrsM gaadar Youth G fH p for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday m Eugene (5 pm. K dnoda Center. 1414 Kincaid St- (Moty 503-2605792. moly@pndepcoject atg)G/04) 541 -346-1134)0704) Eastern Oregon: Youth O ut V A bout Youth meet every Thursday in Corvafts (7pm 1165 M onroe Ave. 541-754-3906.) (7/04) trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon. Monday-Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503-535-3800 wwwoutstdem org.) (7/04) (541669-3119 or 866-248-8369 eodiOaoci.org www.6od.org) (7/04) U vteg offers support and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi, Send you Qm r t to iitwg T W É G roup for ages 13 to 18 offers support. Information and fun in Eugene. Free, confiden tial. aduttTacitateci. (Drop in 4 6 pm Friday Amazon Community Center. 2700 HTyard S t 5 4 1 68 4 0 4 6 6 ) (7/04) Rainbow Youth is a safe, confidential support grm p for young gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, tranagendw. questioning and friends (6 8 pm Wednesday. Miche B ulking. 890 State St . Salem, www sa7Mwainbowyouth.org.) (7/04) outreach listings to: • PO Box 503 236 1257 A little and too mnch The difference between gay boys and girls W y'east U nitarian U niversalist Congregation is an open and liberal religious community offenng inter- generational services and religious education fo r youth and adults We welcome gay. lesbian, bi and trans members and nurture spintual growth living by Unitarian Universalist pnnciples (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele St. 503-777-3704 www w yeastpnw duua.org.) (7/04) . a program of Cascacfa Behavioral HealthCare, offers support and recreetion to gay. lesbian, bi and trans youfo 23 and younger Offers drop-in comput er access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out. Weekly support meetings includes Trane Youth Group and foe creative group Personal Deity Proxy (4 6 pm Monday i operates a cfevc for anyone who can t quaMy for foe Oregon Health Plan as we* ae needte exchange services that include those who inject hor mones Can provide transrtfonai housing for youth 20 and younger as we§ as for those HV+ and younger than 23 Needs volunteers of a l ages (10am6pm ju s t ou t U niversity Park U nited M ethodist Church believes in giving to the community, canng for one another and making a difference one person at a time Come celebrate God's diversity with us! GO am Sunday 4775 N Lombard St. The Bev. Jeanne Knepper 5 0 3 -2 8 9 -7 8 4 3 )0 /0 4 ) • Portland. OR 97293-0400 justout@ justout.com t n fn r'rra tm n D ear M s . B ehavior : My lover and 1 live in a small, happy com munity. My old friend Ellen came for a visit recently. We initially met when 1 was still in college, and she was one of my first flings. (We had sex twice, and she became mean, so we stopped hanging out; years later we met again and became friends.) We took Ellen to a dinner party and some events with our friends. Soon I found out that she introduced herself as my ex-girlfriend to every one! I was shocked, since I have had many long-term relationships, but none of them have been with Ellen. She hasn’t had a lover since I’ve known her, which makes her state ment even crazier. Should 1 tell her that I don’t con sider her an ex-girlfriend? Should 1 ask her to stop telling other people that we are exes? Or is that cruel? I’m embarrassed about all my new friends thinking that Ellen is someone sexually and emotionally significant to me. — Not Ellen’s Ex! D ear N o t E llen ’ s E x : You’ve just stumbled upon one of the scariest risks of sex with girls: They may define the encounter differ ently and write love songs for the rest of their lives. (This appears to be a much lower risk with boys.) You can tell Ellen you don’t con sider her to he an ex, but that would probably do little to change her per ception that you’re hers. Try not to worry about what oth ers think. It would be awkward (and time-consuming) to run around town letting everyone know that Ellen isn’t your ex. Protesting too much will only draw attention to the thought of you and Ellen as a couple. (And you don’t want people to envision you and Ellen having sex, do you?) Soon the whirlwind will subside, and life will go on as usual. A t worst, your friends will conclude that your relationship choices have improved a lot during the past couple of decades. D ear M s . B ehavior : Is it unrealistic to want someone to love you so much that he would never want to share you with another? My boyfriend and I have gradually progressed, over our five-year relation ship, from just each other to pom to voyeurism to touching and then threesomes. I don’t like what we’ve become. It’s hard to be out together without feeling that tinge of excitement when passing a cniisey place. Part of me wants to take part, and the other part knows that it is slowly killing what I feel for “us.” I’m angry because we are living up to the low expectations of all those self-righteous bigots. 'we got to this point because I got tired of being the “relationship police.” Our relationship is great in every other way, but these activities are slowly distancing me from us. The distancing protects me from being hurt by these activities. If we aren’t doing these activities together, how could I trust him, or even myself, not to take advantage of an opportunity should one arise when we’re apart? What can I do? Does long-lasting passionate love exist? D ear C : Your ambivalence is clear; you like having sex with others, but you’re afraid it will kill your relationship with your boyfriend. Why not discuss it with him? You’re clearly not a good “policeman” on your own, anyway. (Ms. Behavior might let you direct traffic in her neighborhood, but she wouldn’t leave you in charge of polic ing, say, the men’s weightlifting room.) Start out by telling your boyfriend the truth about how you feel, and see if it helps. Long-lasting passionate love is great, but it doesn’t feel exactly the same as shagging someone you met in the sauna 20 minutes ago. The connection may be deeper in some ways and perhaps less acutely exciting in others. Can you live with that? D ear M s . B ehavior : Is it OK for anyone to constantly correct the spelling and syntax of another person’s posts on an Internet forum? I feel that it is rude and invali dates what the person is trying to say. What do you think is the proper eti quette here? —A D ear A: It’s rude to correct other people’s spelling and syntax on an Internet forum if the meaning of the original posting is apparent. It’s fine to ask someone for clarification of their posting if the content is unclear, hut not for the purpose of ridicule. Generally, people who correct other people’s spelling and syntax on an Internet forum are bullying nerds who don’t have satisfying lives. Usually, other members of a forum will let them know that their correc tions are unwelcome (unless the group is wholly composed of bullying nerds). j n © Meryl Cohn 2004 M eryl C o hn is the author of Do What 1 Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflm). Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or correspondence to msfrehfltior@aoI.com.
